Sweet Chemistry (26 page)

James and Jeff looked at each other. “Long story.” James sighed. “She hasn’t been coming to class or work either.”

“Did she drop out?”

James shook his head. “No. Tim’s been taking notes for her, and I asked Sam to teach lab so she would come. She did, but I didn’t get to see her.”

Heather put her hand on top of his. “You can’t blame her, can you? You broke things off.”

Jeff scoffed. “It’s Tina all over again. Your work is too damn important.”

“Kate is nothing like Tina!” James clenched his jaw and stared at his brother. “I’ve told you before. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then enlighten me.” Jeff leaned toward his brother, challenging him.

“Tina cheated on me. That’s why I broke up with her.”

“Oh.” Jeff seemed dazed. “You never said.”

“I didn’t want the reminder. Kate was the best thing that ever happened to me, but what can I do? I want to be with her, but I can’t right now. I just really want to talk to her to make sure she’s okay.”

Heather shook her head. “You need to give her time.”

Time had been the problem from the beginning, always reminding him that he couldn’t have her. He had to wait. He always had to wait. He was going to call her as soon as spring semester was finished. The moment they were free to see each other couldn’t come soon enough, but what if she didn’t want him? He had no way to know.

* * * *

Angelica visited James’ office after class on Monday. She posed in the doorway. “Dr. B, can you come to our last study group?” Her words threw up a red flag.

“Not if it’s at your house. I don’t think it’s a good idea to associate with students outside of the university setting.” Lloyd’s stern face and threatening finger flashed before his eyes.

“What if we had it in the major’s room? Would that be okay? It just wouldn’t be the same without you.” Angelica reached out to touch him.

“Sure.” James dodged her hand and crossed his arms over his chest. “If you set up a study group in the majors’ room, I’ll be there.” He looked down the hall and noticed Lloyd was eavesdropping. He gave James a satisfied nod.

On his way into his office the next morning, he heard Carrie talking to someone. It was another woman’s voice. James stopped dead in his tracks, leaned his bike against the wall and hurried into Carrie’s office. The metal studs on the bottom of his shoes clacked against the floor.

“Hi Dr. Baker, have you met Christine? She’s my new Kate.” Carrie pointed to the woman perched on the edge of the seat in the back room.

His shoulders fell as he forced a smile. “No, I haven’t. Nice to meet you Christine.”

James paced his office. Calling Kate would only make things worse. Time. She needed time. The memory of her face, contorted with sadness, was enough to bring him to tears. He couldn’t hurt her again.

Sam and James talked again as they walked back from their last racquetball game. “You still need me to cover for you on Friday?”

James nodded and thanked him for his help.

Kate didn’t show up to class on Friday, but just like last week, she came to lab, did her work, and handed in her lab notebook, which was the only physical connection James had to her. Her voice echoed through his head as he read her words. No matter how much he searched for something meaningful, some sort of hidden message, the only things he found were procedures and results from lab.

The university was not a typical destination for James on a weekend, but he went to work anyway. Almost the entire biochemistry class was waiting for him in the majors’ room. Kate was the only one absent.

* * * *

“Did you get to see her this week?” Heather asked before they sat down for dinner Sunday night.

James shook his head. “No. But she has to come on Monday for the final, so maybe I’ll get a chance to talk to her then. I just don’t know what I’m going to do if she won’t talk to me.”

Jeff cleared his throat. “Hey I hate to interrupt, but I talked to Mom today. They’re coming for dinner on Christmas.”

James sighed. “Great. Just what I need.” His mom would’ve loved Kate.

Heather tickled Miles’ foot, making him giggle. “Don’t worry, Miles is a perfect Grandma and Grandpa attention grabber. They won’t even notice you’re here.”

* * * *

By the time Kate walked in to take her biochemistry final Monday afternoon, she had studied more than ever before. She kept her eyes on the desk in front of her while James addressed the class, letting them know their grades would be posted online by Friday.

Kate made the mistake of looking into his eyes when she handed in her exam.

His face was drawn and he mouthed the words, “I’m sorry.”

Even though she managed to hold it together for the last two hours, tears welled in her eyes. She dropped her test on his desk and ran. The only comfort she could rely on was she wouldn’t have to see him anymore and be reminded of what she’d lost.

Before she left campus after her last final, she snuck into the main office to visit Carrie. “I’m so sorry to disappear on you. I hope you were all right.”

Carrie hugged her. “I told you not to worry about me. I found a sophomore who was able to start right away, and she’ll be coming back next semester.”

Kate reached into her backpack and pulled out a container of cookies. “These are for you. You can share if you want, but I made them for you. Thanks for being so good to me. I am very thankful to have worked with you.”

“I’m going to miss you Kate.”

“I’m going to miss you too.” Kate hugged her.

“Don’t be a stranger.”

* * * *

At one point while he was grading, James took a break and visited Carrie in her office.

“You look tired. Would you like a cookie?” Carrie raised her eyebrows and smiled. “You should say yes, they’re really good.”

James nodded and then took a bite. It was divine. “Did you make them?”

Carrie let out a short laugh. “No. I don’t bake. Kate brought them to me. You’re lucky I’m sharing with you.”

The piece of cookie he had just swallowed got stuck in his throat. His eyes filled with tears and he choked.

“Geez, are you okay?”

James swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “Yeah, it just went down wrong. Thanks for sharing with me. I should get back to work.”

“Oh, I’m supposed to remind you,” Carrie called out. “The winter graduation commencement is on Saturday, and Lloyd wants as many faculty members as possible there.”

James nodded. “Let him know I’ll be there.” He was willing to do whatever it took to get on Lloyd’s good side, even if meant sitting through a two-hour graduation wearing a ridiculously heavy black gown covered in patches of blue and gold velvet.

* * * *

Friday night, when Meg, Tim and Kate were celebrating their grades, everything in the bakery was ready and waiting to open.

“I can’t believe I’m going to open a bakery in the morning. Thanks for all your work getting the place ready. I couldn’t have done it without you guys.”

“I’m really proud of you Katie.” Tim hugged her.

“That’s what friends are for,” Meg added.

Kate had a hard time sleeping that night. She must’ve checked her clock a dozen times, and when it finally read four, she couldn’t wait anymore.

Although Meg wasn’t an early riser, she showed up at seven, just like she promised.

Kate handed her an apron that matched hers. “This is yours. I love you Meg. I hope you know that.”

“I know. I know.” Meg grinned at her. “Can I have a muffin? They smell so good.”

The muffins had just come out of the oven and the smell filled the room. When Meg started the espresso machine, the bitter aroma of coffee brewing joined in. “It smells like a restaurant in here!” Meg said with a mouthful of muffin.

“Then I guess it’s time to open the doors.” Kate flipped the sign on the door.

She held her breath and went over her what-if list of possible failures. The list had been building for some time. In the beginning it was two questions: what if she didn’t get the contract? And, what if she didn’t get the loan? But now she focused on the real question: what if she opened and no one came? What if she had wasted all her time and money for nothing?

The steady stream of customers did wonders to assuage her fears. People came. They bought things. They smiled and promised to come back. Kate’s business was a success.

Completely exhausted, Meg and Kate sat side-by-side on stools in front of the bar. Kate was counting money from the till. She sold almost everything she made that day.

“Same time tomorrow?” Meg had her hoodie over her arm.

“Yep, seven o’clock.”

“Congrats on your first day!”

Kate locked the door behind her and wiped down the counters one more time before heading up to her apartment. She dialed her mom and dad. They talked about work and the holidays and her parents made a plan to visit after the jewelry business slowed down. Knowing they were coming for a visit after the New Year gave her something to look forward to. At least they didn’t know about James. Pretending he didn’t exist would be a welcome distraction, if she could just get through the next couple of weeks without thinking about him every waking moment.

Christmas Eve approached quickly, and after making dozens of pies and platters of cookies, Kate closed the doors and planned to keep them closed until the day after Christmas.

Meg invited her to come home with her, just like every year, and together, they made the drive to Meg’s parents’ house in San Diego.

Although Meg’s family welcomed her and surrounded her with love, it wasn’t the same as what could’ve been. Somewhere along the way, she’d planned to spend the holidays with James, and the disappointment of crushed dreams caught up with her.

Alone in Meg’s old room, Kate buried her face in a pillow and cried.

A quiet knock drew Kate’s attention to where Meg was standing. “My mom’s getting ready to serve the pie we brought, if you want to join us.”

Kate wiped her cheeks and sniffed. “Okay, I’ll be down in a bit.”

Instead of turning to leave, Meg came and sat next to her on the edge of her bed. “Are you okay?”

“I miss him.” A sob shook her body. “I’m sorry. It’s Christmas Eve, and we’re supposed to be spending time with your family. I don’t understand how I can still feel so miserable, it’s been weeks.”

“You haven’t had time to grieve. It’s okay, Kate. You’re entitled to be sad. Your life has been incredibly full, and this is the first real day off you’ve had.”

Tears streamed down Kate’s cheeks. “I had it all planned out. James and I were supposed to have a life together.” She buried her face in the pillow again.

“Hey, I know things didn’t turn out the way you wanted, but your life is really great. He’s missing out and I bet you anything he knows it. He’d be an idiot not to, and you don’t fall for idiots.”

Kate laughed through her tears. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better.”

Meg shrugged. “I’m a good friend. What can I say?” She rubbed Kate’s back. “What do you say? Are you ready for pie? Because we should probably hurry before Emily eats it all.”

“Yeah, let’s go get some pie.” Kate hugged her friend. “I’m going home in the morning.”

“I figured you would want to. I’d like to stay a few more days, if you think you’ll be okay in the bakery alone.”

“I’ll be fine. My new helper starts in a couple of days. You should stay, but I need to get back to work since it seems to be the only thing keeping me sane. Enjoy your family, and what’s left of your vacation. Thank you for getting me through the holidays. You’re a great friend.”

“You would do the same for me.”

Kate narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure I’d be able to help in a law firm, but when you start yours, I’ll be there with muffins.”

“Deal.” Meg offered her hand. “I’ll be sure to remind you of that in ten or fifteen years.”

Kate left early the next morning. As soon as she unlocked the doors of her bakery, she realized why she was so relieved to be there. It was the only place that was just hers. It was incredibly peaceful. She had worked hard and gotten exactly what she wanted and there were no other variables contributing to the outcome. Relationships were different; they were dangerous. And while opening a bakery seemed like a risky move, it wasn’t anything like the risks she took with James. She had unknowingly given him her heart and she wasn’t sure if she would ever get it back.

* * * *

Before Christmas, James spent a lot of time in his office preparing for the next semester. His teaching load would be more demanding, and he didn’t want to get caught unprepared.

On Christmas Eve, Lloyd came into his office. “Listen, I want to apologize for overreacting about Angelica. The last thing I want is for a faculty member in my department to be tarnished with something as sordid as an affair with a student. Once they graduate it’s a whole different story, but a disciplinary action goes on my record too, as something that happened on my watch, and the dean is less forgiving than I am.”

James grimaced. “I’m sorry too. I should’ve known spending time with students outside of school isn’t a good idea. I’ve learned my lesson.”

Lloyd gave him a brisk nod. “I want you to succeed here. I’m glad we got that all straightened out. I hope you have a good break.”

“Thanks Lloyd, you too.”

Christmas was going to be just like every other year. James was alone, that was nothing new. Maybe Jeff was right. His career had always been the most important focus of his life, and spending holidays alone came with the territory. Dinner with his brother and his family was supposed to be the silver lining, but as he sat outside Jeff and Heather’s house, his heart raced. Kate was supposed to be here with him. How was he going to face his parents alone?

In the kitchen, James handed Heather a pan of lemon bars. “For dessert.”

“When did you learn how to cook?” His mom narrowed her eyes.

“Good to see you too Mom.” James hugged her.

“You didn’t answer me.” She put her hand on her hip.

“It’s actually not that hard. A, um, friend of mine gave me a few lessons.”

“Did you bring your
friend
to dinner?” She looked past him and frowned when she realized no one was following him.