S.W. Tanpepper's GAMELAND, Season One Omnibus (120 page)

They give me a queer look. Kelly comes over and holds me, but I push him away, swallowing my tears.

“
I think B-ben t-t-took her with him,” I say. My hands are shaking.

“
Why?”

“
I d-d-don't—”

“
Jesus,” Kelly says, reaching for me again. “You're shivering.”

This time, when he wraps his arms around me, I let him. He holds me tight. It doesn't help. The tremors wrack my body until I can't stand.

“
Shock,” he says. The warmth of his body feels foreign to me. My body rejects it.

“
It's this damn air conditioning,” Reggie says. He spins around too fast and nearly falls over his own feet. “Where's my backpack?”

“
Where are you going?” Kelly asks. “You can't leave!”

“
I need to get Ash,” he growls. “Have to get her back.”

“
Wait a sec, Reg. Let's think about this fir—”

“
Can't think, brah. Just gotta do.” He bends over to grab his pack and nearly falls over. “Need to find her.”

“
Not in your condition.”

“
Gotta do it,” he repeats.

“
Tell him, Jessie. Tell him to stop.”

But my teeth are chattering and my mind is threatening to shut down. “
Duh-duh-duh…
” I manage to get out before giving up.

“
Reggie, don't. Listen, we've got a few minutes. We know where they're going.
Jessie
knows.”

“
They've got a head start on us, man.” He moves slowly, deliberately, his head still in a fog. He picks up a can of tuna and stares at it for a long moment, as if entranced. “If we leave now we've got a chance to catch them.”

“
I don't think that's wise, Reg.”

He spins around, his arms swinging like thick ropes. The rage in his eyes tells me there's no reasoning with him. “Don't fugging tell me not to fugging go after her!” he screams. He lifts a chair and hurls it across the room, howling in anger as he falls over.

Kelly pulls me away, protecting me. But he needn't worry. Even in his rage, Reggie directs his fury away from us, toward the wall. He kicks at a stack of old manuals and they go fluttering away. Tears roll down his cheeks. “Don't tell me I can't get her back.”

Still shivering, I push myself away, forcing Kelly's arms away from me.

“
Jess.”

“
L-let me g-go.”

“
You can't. Reggie's not going to listen to you right now.”

“
Reggie,” I say to him, halving the distance between us in three steps.

“
Jessie, be careful.”

Reggie swipes at the table with his backpack, sweeping the bowl of leaves off. It smashes against the far wall and clatters away, splattering brownish-green muck over everything.

“
Listen to me, Reg! We'll go get her back, but first we have to take care of Jake. Jake needs us right now! We'll go afterward, okay?”

This gets Reggie to stop. He turns around, his eyes flicking from me to Jake. “Ah, God. Ah God, I forgot about him.” And he slumps to the ground. “I'm so sorry. I'm— I can't. Oh, God, Jake.” He buries his head in his arms and sobs. “I can't do it.”

“
You don't have to, Reg.”

“
If he so much as lays a finger on her—”

“
Ashley will be fine,” Kelly tries to tell him, but Reggie waves him off.

“
I'll kill him.”

Get in line
, I think.

“
We'll get Ashley back, but first we need to take care of Jake. We can't just… We can't just leave him.”

“
I know. I know.”

Kelly steps to my side. “He was still breathing a few minutes ago. I checked right before the elevator starting coming down. I didn't know if the knockout gas had any effect on him.”

“
Why don't you gather up our stuff?” I suggest to Reg. “You, too, Kel. Get ready to go.”

But Kelly follows me to the table. He lays a hand on Jake's forehead before snatching it away. “Feels like he on fire.”

I touch him, too. Then check my fingertips, almost expecting blisters to pop up on my skin. “I can't tell if he's breathing.”

Kelly feels for a pulse. After a minute or so he nods. I can almost see the disappointment in his eyes. It'd be easier if he was already dead. None of us wants him to die, but it would've been easier if he were.

“
Give me the knife,” Kelly whispers. “I'll do it.”

My hand shakes as I reach for it in my belt loop. I can't take my eyes off Jake lying there. I can't stop staring at the way the skin on his face has drawn tight and sunken away, molding to the shape of his skull.

How much weight has he lost, sweated out through his pores?

How much of him is left in there?

He looks like one of them now, the way his skin has turned ash gray. Even the yellow is gone. There's no color left. The circles around his eyes have deepened. His lips look like he'd eaten licorice.

I wonder if his tongue has turned black.

“
Jessie? Give me the knife.”

I think about Kelly taking care of Kyle. Careful, caring Kelly. He's had it so tough. Poor Kyle, lucky to have a brother like him. I'm lucky to have him as a boyfriend.

“
No.”

“
Jess—”

“
No, I'll do it.”

He doesn't relent. He just stares at me, the muscles in his face rippling and his throat working. I know he doesn't want to do it. I also know he doesn't want me to do it, either. But I already have, haven't I? I'm already damaged goods. Finally he nods and steps back.

“
Turn him over. It's easier if he's on his stomach.”

Kelly begins to circle the table. Reggie stands up to join him. He and Kelly exchange glances. Not a word passes between them, just unspoken understanding. They both reach over and pull Jake toward them, and Jake rolls stiffly, his arms unbending.

Reggie makes a face and turns away.

“
God, his tongue—” he begins to say.

“
Don't look at it,” I tell him, and he closes his eyes.

“
Make it fast.”

My hands are still shaking, but I wrap them both around the handle and grip it hard. I lift it up and place the tip against the back of Jake's head and push slightly, watching it indent the skin.

“
Close your eyes,” I whisper to Kelly, but I don't know if he does because I've closed mine.

I'm sorry, Jake. I'm so sorry it came to this.

And I lean my body forward and into Jake.

 

My hands immediately loosen from the hilt of the knife, even as my body thrusts forward. But my left hand slides down the blade, slicing into my palm. I pull away, hissing in pain, and the knife clatters to the surface of the table.

Reggie looks up and gasps. His eyes grow wide with fright and he stumbles backward. Kelly also steps away. Now Jake is starting to roll forward off the table. I reach out with my good hand, clutching the other to my chest.

“
Uh, Jessie…”

And now the hair on the back of my head is starting to prickle. I turn and what I see steals the breath from my chest.

Brother Matthew is standing in the doorway, his mangled body a vision of horror, more blood and torn muscle than skin, more naked than clothed. Strips of fabric cover him, and everywhere the marks of a thousand teeth. The wounds are now blackened holes, clotted and filled with muddy filth. Parts of him look seared, as if by burning coals. A flap of muscle dangles down the inside of his right thigh, falling to just below his knee. His teeth show through a hole in his cheek. An ear is missing.

He leans his tattered remains against the wall, smearing it with blackened gore, clutching with one hand to hold himself up while the other hand is—

the other hand is—

It's missing.

“
Jesus H. Christ!
” Reggie moans.

Brother Matthew slips to the floor, folding in places and in ways that seem impossible.

“
Don't kill him,” Matthew says, then he crumples forward.

Silence stretches out an eternity before Kelly shatters it with an explosive exhale and steps forward. He brushes by me as he angles for the mangled body of the man, knocking me into the table and bringing me back to my senses.

“
No,” I say, shaking my head. I reach out to stop Kelly. “No! It's not possible. I saw him— Kelly, no! Stay back! He's turned.”

But Kelly rushes forward, snatching a bottle of water off the table as he goes. He slides to a stop beside Brother Matthew and kneels down, opening the bottle then holding it out. But where does he begin? There's too much blood and gore and filth.

“
Kelly…”

He looks over, pleading with his eyes to help. “He spoke. I heard him. He's still alive.”

And now Matthew begins to stir. He tries to push himself up, but he cries out in pain when he sets the stump of his wrist against the floor.

“
What do I do?” Kelly asks. He reaches out, then draws back. He doesn't want to touch him.

Somehow, Brother Matthew gets his upper body upright again and leaning against the doorframe. He shakes with fever, his head rocking on an unstable neck. The stump reaches up to the middle of his chest, as if he's trying to clutch his heart, but then it falls back into his lap. He tries again a moment later with his other hand, this time reaching inside the tattered remnants of his shirt.

“
Give this…to him.”

I gasp at the sight of the syringe and cry out when I see it's still full. It's the last one, the last hope. One last chance to save Jake.

He breaks into a wheezing coughing fit, spitting bloody saliva. “Don't touch me,” he warns Kelly. “Nobody can touch me. Except her.”

Kelly's head snaps over to me, his eyes pleading for understanding. But I can't give it to him. I don't understand either. I know Matthew's right, but I can't explain why.

The syringe slips from his fingers, rolls across his lap and drops to the floor. Kelly tries to grab it but I shout at him not to touch it. “It's covered in infected blood.”

“
We've all been covered in infected blood,” Reggie says. He steps over and bends down.

“
No!” Brother Matthew grunts. He reaches out with the stump, warding Reggie off. “Only…her.”

Kelly nods and stands up. He grabs my wounded hand and frowns at the cut. “Let me wrap this first.” He takes a strip from Jake's shirt and covers it. He ties a knot on the back. “Now, hurry.”

“
No.”

“
Jake needs—” he begins to say, but I cut him off.

“
No, it's too late. Jake's almost dead. And his brain is— It's too late, Kel. And that's the
last
syringe. You need it…”

He shakes his head. “Jake needs it more than I do.”

“
Then give it Brother Matthew! It's too late for Jake.”

A low groan escapes Brother Matthew's lips and a spasm passes through his body. “Too late for me. Infection too bad… Wounds…” He coughs weakly. “…dying…”

“
Jessie, please, just hurry up,” Reggie says. I can see the struggle going on inside his head: If we give Jake the treatment, then we'll have to wait here until he gets better; but if we don't, we can leave right away to rescue Ash.

“
It's your choice, Reg,” I tell him. “You decide.”

He looks up at the ceiling, groaning in anguish. “We can still get out of this,” he says. “All of us. Please, just…just give it to him. Give it to Jake. Make him better. Please.”

I watch him for a moment. I want to believe like he does, but I can't. Something tells me that I can't save Jake. Something tells me this syringe is not for him.

“
Even if it works,” I tell him, “it won't make him better. He'll be a vegetable. And it won't make any of this go away. It won't bring Tanya back, or any of the others—”

“
I don't give a fuck about any of the others!
” Reggie growls. “Just, please, do it, Jessie.”

“
It won't change the fact that Micah betrayed us, either. We'll never be able to put this behind us.
Never!
”

A tear rolls down his cheek. I don't think I've ever seen him cry, and it breaks my heart. “I know,” he whispers. “I know. But we can't not try, either.”

I reach down and pluck the syringe from the floor. The color of the liquid inside has intensified. It's a deep, deep red now, almost black.

“
It may not even be any good anymore,” I whisper.

“
Jessie.” Kelly's nodding, urging me to hurry.

I'm still not convinced. If I give it to Jake, he might live, but as what? A vegetable? If I give it to Brother Matthew, he might not even survive the blood loss and bites. “Kelly should get this.”

“
There's time enough for me later,” he whispers. “Give it to Jake.”

“
How?” I ask, choking. “All of it? In the arm? Where?”

Brother Matthew doesn't answer. His body lifts and falls slightly as he breathes through his open mouth, the sound of a high thin wind passing through the grass. Bloody drool slips from his lips. His body shudders. He's in shock. I reach a hand over and hold it an inch from his face. I can feel the heat.