Susan Spencer Paul (18 page)

John squeezed her hands and pleaded with her. “Please, Lady Lillis, you must promise me that you’ll not tell Alex I told you of this. He would kill me.”

“He’ll do no such thing! He would have told me himself, I tell you.”

“Promise me, my lady.” He squeezed her hands even harder.

His fear of Alexander seemed very real, though Lillis couldn’t bring herself to believe there was any reason for it. But she didn’t have all day to argue the matter with him. She was going to go home!

“Very well, John. I so promise. Now release me, please.”

He did, and Lillis didn’t even spare a moment to bid him goodbye. She picked up her skirts and headed for the stairs, so intent on reaching her chamber that she never saw the thoroughly satisfied smile that settled on John’s face as he watched her go.

T
he knock at the door made Lillis pause in her frantic packing.

“Enter!” she called out, glancing over one shoulder before neatly folding the last of her needlework.

Alexander walked into the room, smiling, looking very handsome to her loving eyes. He shut and bolted the door before strolling toward her.

“You wished to see me, madam? Urgently?”

Lillis turned and met his smile with her own. Alexander didn’t quit moving until he had pulled her into his arms.

“Dare I think it was for personal reasons?” he whispered against her mouth, kissing her. “I was most hopeful when I received your summons.”

The room was cool, but Alexander was warm, and his mouth even warmer as it moved over her own. His hands, sliding to her hips, pulled her intimately against him, almost making Lillis forget the reason she had summoned him.

“Alexander,” she murmured, her arms moving around his neck.

“Mmm...sweet Lillis.” One big hand moved up to cradle the back of her head while the other splayed over her buttocks, holding her firm.

The evidence of his desire brought Lillis to her senses.

“Alex—ander,” she managed, mumbling around his seeking tongue.

“Hmm?”

She tried in vain to pull away, and when she couldn’t she laughed. He lifted his head and gazed at her, grinning.

“Lady wife, are you laughing at me?”

“No! I’m laughing at me.” She pushed at his strong arms. “Please, my lord, this is most pleasant, but we must talk.” She had much to tell him, after all.

He groaned. “Lillis, sweet wife, I’m not in a talkative mood.” His mouth dropped to nuzzle the soft skin beneath her ear. “Let me have you in the bed.” She grew pleasantly pliant in his arms, and his mouth traveled down her throat. “We’ll spend the rest of this rainy day warm beneath the sheets.” She tilted her head to allow him greater access to her bare skin. “The things I want to do to you, Lillis! I want to touch you everywhere with my hands, with my mouth.” He backed her toward the bed. “You know it must happen sooner than later. Let it happen now.”

His seductive tone made Lillis shiver. “But we can’t— Alexander, we can’t.”

Alexander smiled, hearing the indecision in her voice, sensing his victory. “We can, Lillis. We will.”

“We can’t. No, Alexander, stop. I’m packing.”

At last Alexander lifted his head.

“You’re what?”

She laughed and pushed at his shoulders.

“I’m packing, you ridiculous man, while you’re trying to seduce me. Now let go of me, please. I don’t want to waste another moment before getting started.”

He freed her at once, his amorous mood flown.

“What in the name of God are you talking about, Lillis?”

She reached up and kissed him quickly. “What do you think? And why didn’t you tell me you’d received the king’s approval for our marriage?” She moved to where her bags lay half-packed on the bed. “I know you don’t wish to let me travel in such inclement weather, Alexander, but there is nothing, not even the worst of weather, that could keep from going to my father now that I’m free to do so. I wish you had told me yesterday so that Edyth and I could have gotten a much earlier start.” She picked up the needlework she’d just finished folding and carefully placed it inside one bag. “Edyth is in her chamber packing, as well. We’ll be ready to leave within the hour, if you think you can arrange an escort for us that quickly. Oh, but please don’t leave yet, for there is something I should like to tell you as soon as I’m finished with this.”

Alexander stared at his wife, stunned. He’d thought he would have more time. Only a little more—that was all he needed to finish what he’d started. She was so close to giving in to him, he was sure of it, and once she did, it wouldn’t matter that the king’s approval had arrived. Nothing would matter, once she gave way.

Her nimble hands kept working, folding and packing, folding and packing.

“Stop, Lillis.”

She stopped only long enough to glance at him. “I’m sorry, my lord. What did you say?”

“I said stop. Stop what you’re doing.”

“Stop?” she repeated, glancing at him again with an indulgent smile. “Alexander, I told you, I wish to get started at once and there is much to do. I don’t have time to stop.” She turned her back on him and started packing again.

Alexander, filled with a rage beyond his comprehension, didn’t spare a moment to think of what he was doing. He closed the distance between them, grabbed what she was so carefully folding and flung it across the room.

“Alexander—!”

He took her by both shoulders and shook her. “Damn you, Lillis! I said stop it!”

She stared at him wide-eyed. “What in God’s name is the matter with you? How dare you do such a thing? That was my best surcoat!”

“I don’t care if it was King Henry’s night rail!” he roared furiously. “Who told you about the king’s approval arriving? Was it Willem? God, I thought I could trust him! He swore to me he wouldn’t say a word to you!”

Dumbly Lillis shook her head. “It wasn’t Willem. He didn’t say anything to me.” John’s words about Alexander being angry surfaced in her mind, and along with the memory came an uncomfortable suspicion. “Does it matter how I found out, Alexander? Were you not—”

“Yes, it matters! I want to know now, Lillis. Who told you? Was it the twins? Did they break into my working chamber and go through my things? If they did, I swear by God I’ll break both their wretched necks!”

“Alexander!” Distressed, Lillis tried to push from him. “It wasn’t the twins! And it doesn’t matter! Were you not going to tell me yourself? It doesn’t matter how I came to hear of it.”

Alexander’s face registered shock, and he abruptly released her. “Of course I was going to tell you,” he muttered, running both hands tensely through his hair. “But I was going to tell you in my own time, and in my own way. You might as well admit who it was. I’ll only find out later, regardless.”

Lillis stared at his rigid back in amazement. “Well, then, if you’ll only find out later, there is no need for me to tell you. Perhaps I broke into your private chamber and had a look through your things and found out for myself. Are you going to break my neck now?”

He was pacing, looking like a caged animal. His tension unnerved her. “Of course I’m not going to break your neck,” he replied angrily, not looking at her. “You’d never do such a thing. It isn’t in your nature.”

“I’m relieved to hear that you think so, my lord. Now if you will please excuse me, I wish to finish my packing.” She turned to the bed and began folding her things again. A large hand grasping her shoulder pulled her back.

“I told you to stop that, Lillis.”

A warning rang in Lillis’s head as she gazed at her husband. He was as serious now as he’d been on the day when he’d told her of their impending marriage.

“Oh, God’s mercy, Alexander, please—”

He took both her hands in his and drew her closer to the bed.

“Sit, Lillis. I need to speak with you.”

She sat. Alexander settled himself beside her, still holding her hands.

“Lillis,” he began slowly, “I know that I am not the husband of your choice. How could I be? I’m dull and plodding, only good at managing my people and my lands.”

She shook her head in denial, but Alexander pressed on. “Please, Lillis—don’t. It’s no more than the truth, and I know full well I’m nothing like Ywain Giraut, or any of a hundred other men who would have thrown themselves willingly at your feet. I have never pretended to be a romantic or courtly man.”

“But, that is not so, Alexander.”

“It is. Listen to me, Lillis. I’m not good at explaining myself. It’s not something I’ve had to do very often, and not something I intend to do much in future. I’m too used to making my wishes known and having them obeyed without question. That’s what comes from being in a position of responsibility such as the one I’m in.” He searched her face for understanding. “These past few days, I’ve been trying to reveal myself to you, but I’ve clearly not done well with it.” He shifted uncomfortably and lowered his eyes to where their joined hands lay on his knees. “I’ve been courting you,” he admitted, embarrassed. “I know I’ve been clumsy going about it, but damnation, Lillis, I’ve never had to be romantic with a woman before! Barbara was chosen for me by my parents, and all the other women I’ve ever known have—they have always come to me of their own free will. You’re the first I’ve ever had to work at.” He lifted his eyes again. “What I’m trying to say, Lillis, is that I don’t want you to leave Gyer. I want you to stay here as my wife.” He squeezed her hands tightly. “I want you to be my wife in truth.”

Hope surged in Lillis’s heart. This was just what she had meant to say to him, that she wished to return to Gyer, as he’d said she might, and be his lady. She’d been ready to agree to whatever conditions he might make, as long as he’d promise never to humiliate her with his cousin, but she had never let herself hope that he might truly want her to stay. “Alexander,” she whispered, “are you trying to tell me that you love me?”

He looked first surprised, then bewildered, then a little irate, all in a moment’s time. “These are serious matters I speak of, Lillis. Would you have us turn aside to such as that?”

Stunned, she tried to pull her hands from his grasp.

“Lillis!” He held her tight. “Does it mean so much? I shall honor you as my wife in every way! You shall never want for anything. Your happiness will be of all importance to me. Is that not more than enough?”

She wrenched her hands free. “I thank you, my Lord Gyer,” she said stiffly, picking up a silk undergarment to fold it, “but I fear I must decline your kind offer. If you will arrange for an escort for Edyth and myself I would be most grateful.”

He stood and reached for her. “Lillis—”

“Don’t touch me!” she shouted, moving away from him and trying to stop the tears that overwhelmed her.

“Lillis!”

“I love you!” she sobbed, horrified at herself and humiliated beyond belief. “I love you, and you love Barbara, and I don’t want to be honored and cared for! I want to go home to my father! My father loves me! My father needs me! If I have to stay at Gyer another day I shall lose my sanity!”

Her tears blurred her vision so badly that Lillis didn’t see Alexander’s arms as they roughly grabbed her, pulling her into himself.

“Lillis,” he soothed, holding her tight and thinking to himself,
victory.
She was his now, unassailably, and the realization made him feel as if his whole being had been lit afire. “Do you love me? In truth? My God, you are the most wonderful woman alive.” Nothing had ever made him feel like this before. “Sweet, lovely Lillis,” he murmured, lowering his head to kiss her.

“Stop—” She pushed at him feebly.

“No. I’ll not stop. Not this time. I’m a damned fool, and I’ve not been able to tell you just how much I care for you. I’m going to show you, instead.”

His warm mouth moved over her face, absorbing her tears, until Lillis leaned away from him. “I’m going home to Wellewyn,” she insisted.

Alexander’s mouth followed her, kissing her chin, her neck, everywhere that her leaning away exposed to him. His hands moved to unfasten her clothing.

“Gyer is your home, and always will be. You are mine, now.”

Her surcoat fell away easily, but when Lillis felt him pulling the silk undergarments from her body she pushed at him again. “No, Alexander, don’t.”

“You love me,” he reminded, kissing her naked shoulder, pulling her undergarments down until she was bared to the waist. “Show me.” His big hands moved up to cup and caress her breasts.

“No,” she protested weakly.

“Yes.” He lifted her to the bed and stripped the rest of her clothes from her. He undressed himself quickly and lay naked beside her, pulling her into his arms.

“This will not be as the first time,” he murmured, kissing her, looking into her wide blue eyes. His hands moved over her warm skin with gentle patience. “This time we shall know one another as fully as possible.” He pressed one muscular leg between both of hers, nestling his thigh against the center of her. “With as much pleasure as possible.”

Before Lillis could protest again, he stole her ability to do so. With the skill and experience of many years, he touched her, moving his hands over her body knowingly, bending her to his will.

“Tell me you love me,” he whispered.

She wouldn’t. She shook her head in denial.

“Tell me, Lillis.” His mouth moved gently over her breasts. “Tell me. Now.”

Her hands clenched and she spoke the truth. “I do love you, Alexander.”

“Tell me again, Lillis. Tell me that you want me as much as I’ve wanted you these past many days.”

She writhed beneath his touch. “Please, Alexander—”

“Tell me.”

“I want you. It is truth, Alexander. Please—don’t—”

“Wife.” He kissed her deeply. “My wife. Mine.” He said the words over and over as he joined their bodies.

“Lillis,” he moaned without thought. None of his memories remotely compared with the pleasure he knew now. He grasped her face with both hands and made her look at him as he moved in her.

“This, my wife, this is how I care for you. We are one.
One.
”

One, yes, she understood him, and knew at last what he’d meant when he’d spoken of joy and pleasure. They were one, and their joy and pleasure were one. It was pure and fine and wondrous.

He rolled to his side when it was all over, pulling Lillis along with him, holding her tight, reveling in the pliancy of her body. Alexander had never considered himself one to gloat, but he couldn’t keep from grinning. She was sure to be angry for a little while over her defeat, but he would be a generous winner. He would shower her with so much gratitude and affection in the days to come that she would quickly forget everything about Wellewyn, including her devil of a father.

Lillis’s arms came up around his shoulders, hugging him, and Alexander drifted off into the most contented sleep he had ever known.

He reached for Lillis when he woke some time later, only to find emptiness. It was dark in the room, night having fallen, but he could see very well by the light provided by the glowing fireplace.