Surviving Love (8 page)

When I left Wisconsin, I left the life I knew behind and only depended on myself to make it through. I didn’t choose to leave Wisconsin, my mother made that choice for me. Nevertheless, when I finally made it to Colorado, I was awoken to a world I never knew existed. I immediately fell into the rougher scene where it was okay to be promiscuous, to drink and to embrace life one misdemeanor at a time. Like there, I’m comfortable here, too—too comfortable. And the thought is scary. I don’t want to get attached to anyone or anything, yet I can’t fight the overwhelming sense of calm I feel here.
 

Now that the bar is empty, it looks a lot bigger than I’ve expected as I walk through the front door. The first thing this tells me is that there’s money to be made—a lot of money. When I was in the bar last night, the entire room was packed and all I could see were tips. Big, fat, pocket filling tips will be in my future. That is, if I can get the job.
 

When I approach the bar, the shorter bartender from last night greets me with a smile. “How can I help you?”
 

I clear my throat and dazzle him with my most charming smile. “The other gentlemen working last night mentioned I needed to talk to his wife, Darcie, about getting a job bartending here.” I tuck the long strands of my brown hair behind my ear and slightly bite my bottom lip, a move I’ve done many times to get the men to fall to their knees. Gavin is a perfect example of this as he becomes mesmerized by my actions. “Is she available?”
 

“I’ll check. I’m Gavin, by the way.” He again smiles big then extends his hand.
 

“Zoe,” I tell him before he turns to leave the bar area, stumbling over a box on the ground. I suppress a laugh, and soon after he leaves, Darcie appears from the back.
 

She is a beautiful woman with long, auburn hair, a skinny frame, and when she gets closer, her green eyes captivate me. The icy cold look on her face, though, dwindles any hope of getting a job here.
 

“Are you the girl my husband talked to last night?”
 

I extend my hand out and put on the charm, something that always works with the men and I’m hoping will work with her, too. Here goes nothing. “Yes, I’m Zoe Ledoux and I overheard your husband and another gentlemen talking last night about getting another bartender. I just
moved here and am looking for work.” I hate putting on the fake, charming act for anyone, but I know the cold, bitch-face look I have doesn’t go over too well when you’re looking for employment.
 

“Please, spare me the shit. If you’re going to work in a place like this, you need to be a little bit tougher than that.”
 

My charming disposition evaporates as my real self takes over. I’m thrown slightly because she’s quite blunt with me. Then again, when I take a second to think about it, she’s a person I can actually relate to.
 

“Look, I’ve been bartending off and on for the last four years. I know what I’m doing,” I snap back, revealing my true self and the limited patience I have for people.
 

“We’ll see about that.” Darcie returns with a snarky look before she continues, “You don’t look like a bullshitter and I appreciate that. I have no doubt you have experience, but you have no experience in a place like this, do ya?”
 

I nod my head in agreement. Most of my bartending jobs were at dance clubs or restaurants with bars inside. I’ve never been to a place quite like Sulfur Heights. Yes, I have lived in some rough areas, but something tells me Sulfur Heights is different. How it’s different, I’m not quite sure as of yet, however I’m not willing to give up because I need a job.
 

“Look, I will give you an audition, so to speak.” Darcie looks over her shoulder when her husband, Reggie, emerges from the back. “We’ve got some pretty demanding customers. I will invite them here tomorrow when we’re closed, and if you can put up with their shit, then you’ve got the job. Deal?”
 

I look between Darcie and Reggie then smile with the faintest look of delight. “Deal.”
 

***
 

Twenty-four hours later, I’m walking through the front doors of
The Slab
again. I’m a little more nervous than the last time I came here. Darcie is willing to give me an audition, and if all goes well, I will be the newest bartender on the weekends. My skin is damp from the humid summer and it makes me extremely happy that I’ve pulled my long hair into a giant bun on top of my head. After my eyes adjust to the dark setting of the bar, I see Darcie coming from the back, lugging a case of liquor with her.
 

I walk to her and she greets me with a half-smile then motions me to come behind the bar. After a very brief explanation of where things are located, I hear the commotion of regulars coming through the back door. When I turn around to face them, six customers are lined up along the bar waiting for me to serve them. I’m slightly confused at first because four of them are employees, but I say nothing and wait for my instructions.
 

“All right, Zoe, are you ready to show us what you’ve got?” Darcie says while motioning to the rest of the group. “We will be the most challenging people you’ll ever have to deal with.” A quiet snicker comes from the blonde girl on her left as my eyes meet hers. I’m instantly irritated because I’m trying to focus on getting this job and this blonde girl has snickered. I hate inside jokes. “Now, let me introduce you to the group.”
 

Darcie stands and walks up behind the man on the end. “This is Big Mike. He’s our doorman, bouncer and driver of intoxicated employees. He will be your easiest customer today.”
She moves down another stool, “I think you already met him, but Gavin will be your partner in crime behind the bar.” I nod my head to Gavin and give him a slight smile.
 

Darcie moves down the line and wraps her arms around the blonde girl. She is very pretty, goddess looking even, and I immediately become self-conscious of how I look. She has her hair braided down her back and her blue eyes are sparkling with delight. Actually, when I look at all of these people, they are all very good looking. Even the older bouncer guy; he’s got a slight edge of danger about him, but all in all, he is quite handsome. “This is my best friend, Delilah, and probably the sweetest person you’ll ever meet.”
 

“Yeah, fucking right,” snaps the hot tattooed man sitting at the end of the row. He rolls his eyes and looks directly at Delilah. Yikes, I’m sensing some tension from the two of them.
 

“Some people have no manners. Just ignore his childish outbursts. I do.” Delilah glares slightly at his rant then turns her attention back toward me, smile intact. “It’s nice to meet you.” She extends her hand and I shake it, returning it with a smile.
 

“Childish! I will sho—”
 

“Now’s not the time, Jake!” Delilah shouts back as she leans over the bar, making eye contact with him. I start messing with the bar towel in my hand, wishing I could hold it up to just disappear. It’s starting to get a little awkward now, and they both look like they’re going to kill each other.
 

“Oh, really!” Jake replies just as heatedly. He turns to me, eyes ablaze and I can feel the anger boiling off his skin. “I’ll take that shot of Jack now, Zoe.” I quickly pull the bottle from the holder behind the bar and fill a shot glass then pass the liquor down to him. Jake doesn’t hesitate to swallow its contents, smiling with relief once it’s gone. “Delilah, why do you always act th—”
 

“Enough! I swear that’s all you two do is fight.” Reggie’s deep voice breaks up the argument, and I’m secretly thanking him in my head.
 

Darcie moves to stand behind Reggie, her arms draped around his neck as she kisses him on the cheek. Reggie relaxes and it’s like she’s melted the tension in his body with one peck of her lips. You can tell immediately they are a couple who’re completely head over heels for each other.
 

It’s utterly baffling to me how two people can be completely devoted to one another. I’ve been in many relationships in my young life, but none of them were ever truly love—well, not love like that. There always has to be something in it for me before I’ll commit myself to a guy. Terrance has been the only man I’ve really committed to.
 

At first, it was the fascination of his lifestyle which quickly changed over to greed when I relished in the nice things he bought me with the money he made from selling drugs. It took several months, but I soon realized the life he lived was not the life I was willing to live also. Nor will it ever be. Getting punched in the side of the head was the final straw.
 

“And this is my brother, Jake. He will be…uh…well, never mind. I’ll let you be surprised,” Darcie snickers to herself and I become a little worried.
 

My eyes connect with his and Jake gives me the sexiest smile in God’s creation. His deep brown eyes twinkle with enjoyment. I can feel my panties melt away from the heat his eyes gives off, instantly igniting me to my core, but Jake’s not fooling anyone here. I’ve seen smiles like
that my entire life and have learned my lesson the hard way. Yes, he is a gorgeous man and it would probably be a good time fucking him, but with a smile like that…he’s a player, which is the worst kind of guy to get hooked on.
 

Sex is a powerful connection, and I have no doubt it would be mind blowing with him. The last thing I need is to get hung up on a guy, something I tend to do when the sex is amazing. I will be practicing abstinence for as long as I can hold out.
 

Darcie moves to her seat between Reggie and Delilah then motions for me to begin.
 

“Okay, what’ll you have?” I ask, just as they all start firing away their demands. Oh, shit, this should be interesting.
 

Drake
 

I’m walking behind the line workers, overseeing their work as they sort the various metals into the correct places. I’ve got a few new guys who’ve just started this week and they need constant supervision. I can’t keep my mind from wandering back to Saturday night, though. My reaction to the girl who strolled into the bar and upset my oblivious state of mind has me baffled. Although she wasn’t there long, the very sight of her has been burned into my memory.
 

She’s tall, a lot taller than normal girls. I’m guessing she’s just under or right at six feet. Trim legs that go on for miles; beautiful, full lips; flawless, pale skin; full breasts; and long, chestnut brown hair that curls in large waves down her back. With all that, it’s the look her gray-blue eyes gave me that has me flying downward in a tailspin. I can’t get that feeling out of my head. The more I think about it, the guiltier I feel for allowing myself to think of another woman only eighteen months after Presley’s death. I’ve never thought another woman could ever pull me from my dark head, but this girl has. She’s moved her way into my mind—completely throwing my world off balance.
 

Then there’s Mia I need to consider as well. My daughter is young, and if I even consider moving past Presley, I have to find someone who will be good to my baby. Someone who’s willing to love her the way a mother loves a child. I refuse to allow anyone around my baby until I know for sure this is something worth believing in.
 

What am I doing?
 

How am I even considering being with anyone right now?
 

I get angry with myself instantly as the guilt of thinking of another woman floods my body for the millionth time since I’ve seen the mystifying girl. I’m getting the urge to punch something, yet I have to control it. I can’t afford to lose my job over stupid emotions brought on by someone I’ve never even met. I shake my head and turn my focus back to work.
 

When the day is over, I drive to Mrs. Fields’s to pick Mia up from her house. The rest of the day was better once I was able to keep my focus on work instead of that damn girl.
 

When I walk into the apartment, Mrs. Fields is sitting on the couch watching Mia play with her dolls, but something is off. I look over to her to notice she looks horrible, sickly.
 

I fall to my knees and startle her out of a trance. “Are you okay?”
 

“Oh, Drake.” Mrs. Fields jumps slightly and takes a tissue to her nose. Her skin is very pale and clammy. “I think I caught a little flu bug or something. I’ll be fine. It’s nothing my old bones
can’t handle.” She smiles back to me, but it’s not the usual smile she gives.
 

“Do you want me to get you anything?” I ask.
 

Before she can answer, Mia has finally noticed I’m here and comes running into my arms. “Dada!” She wraps her arms around my neck and I return her embrace. This is one of the best feelings in the world. “Nanny sick, Dada.” Her look has turned to concern as she points to Mrs. Fields sitting on the couch.
 

“I know, baby,” I reply, looking over at Mrs. Fields on the couch.
 

Mia wiggles out of my arms and walks over to her lap, tapping her on the knee before she leans forward, laying her head on her legs. She looks over to me then back up to Mrs. Fields, “You sick, Nanny?”
 

“Oh, sweet girl, yes, Nanny is sick, but I’ll be all right.” She runs her fingers through Mia’s hair, brushing it away from her face then kisses the pad of her finger and places it on the tip of her nose. Mia giggles and comes back to my arms.
 

“Well, we’ll get out of your hair. I’ll see if I can get someone else to watch Mia tomorrow so you can get some rest. I know how impossible it is to recuperate with a two-year-old to care for.” I am really worried about her, knowing she doesn’t have anyone to care for her. She’s alone here and has been for awhile. It’s probably no big deal to Mrs. Fields because she’s been taking care of herself for a long time, but I want her to know she can count on me for anything. She’s done a lot for me and my family. It’s the least I can do for her. “Please call me if you need anything. It’s not a bother, okay?”