Surrogate (16 page)

     He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath to calm himself. 
She's not in the water
, he thought. 
She's got to be somewhere else.

     Lightning flashed in the heavens, and he forced himself to scan the water one more time, watching the endless rolls of water without finding any sign of Carrie.  Part of him was relieved, another panicked.

     Robbie turned and headed back toward his truck.  Granted, he didn't want to drive in this weather, but he didn't care.  He had to find Carrie.

     More lightning, and Robbie found himself looking up.  There, silhouetted against the sky, he saw Carrie standing on the roof, her arms stretched toward the heavens.  The rain had molded her white nightgown to her body, outlining the swell of her belly.

     "Carrie!" he yelled, feeling the hammer of his heart grow more frantic. She couldn't hear him; he could barely hear himself.  What was she doing?  She stood out as a ready target for the lightning.  He had to get her off the roof.

     "Carrie!" he yelled louder.  Nothing.  She stared at the sky, unaware of anything else.

     "Damn it."  He rushed for the house, or tried to.  The wind was blowing so hard it pushed back at him, effectively slowing him to a walk.

     It seemed to take forever for him to reach the back door, and by the time he did, he was freezing.  As he slipped into the mud room, he frowned, thinking he'd left the light on, but the room was dark.  He fumbled with the switch, but the power was out. 

     Still, all Robbie could think of was Carrie, standing at the peak of the roof, arms reaching for the storm-tattered heavens as lightning split the sky around her.  It wasn't possible, he told himself, wanting to believe he was still dreaming, but no matter how much he desired that, he knew he was awake--wide awake and thrust into another level of hell.

     Robbie ran through the house, shuddering each time he heard thunder and saw a brilliant arc of lighting blast through the darkness.  He had to get to Carrie.  He made it to the hall without running into anything, but then his waist connected with the trestle table a bit farther down.  He'd known it was there but was in such a rush he'd misjudged its proximity and nearly fell in his rush.

     "Damn," he snarled and propelled himself past it, thinking only of the trapdoor not far away that would take him to his wife.

     Robbie was breathing hard as he lunged up the steps.  The minute he set foot in the attic, he could hear the wind raging.  The rain pounded the roof, and despite his best efforts to the contrary, he kept imagining Carrie out there, her bare feet molding to the peak of the roof as she stood with her arms reaching towards the heavens. 

     He was halfway to the trapdoor when he heard something big and awkward thud to the ground outside.  Immediately, he imagined it to be Carrie--that she had fallen.

     "Carrie!" he yelled, his fingers fumbled with the door, and rainwater beaded in his hair before pouring freely into his eyes, blinding him.  He had to brush his hands across his face to see.

     His fingers trembled as fear cut through him, and it was only through sheer determination he managed to budge the door  open.  The wind fought him, forcing him to brace his whole body against it and push.

     As the door swung wide, Robbie realized his mistake.  He still clutched the handle, and but the combined force he exerted and the strength of the storm almost sucked him right outside.  He managed to hang tight and released the trap door.

     "Carrie!" he yelled again, but he knew doing so was useless: his voice quickly died amid the storm's fury.  Hard rain spewed into the room.

     Bracing himself, Robbie started onto the roof, his gaze darting between the shingles, where he set his feet, to the ground as he struggled to check whether Carrie had plummeted.  Lots of fallen tree branches ripped clean from their trunks, littered the ground, but no Carrie, thank God--at least not that he could see.  Logic told him that if she had fallen, she would be on top of the branches, not buried beneath, so maybe she was still on the roof and safe.

     Turning his attention back to his feet, he grimaced as the cold rain slammed him again, but of course the rain wasn't the worst of it--the wind tried to bat him around, much like a wind sock, and the only way he could manage to keep his balance was to crouch low, as near the roof as he could manage and still keep moving. 

     Was Carrie still up here, standing tall, reaching for the sky as though the clouds had buried something overhead more valuable than her own life?  She hadn't even been looking down.  Carrie hated heights--absolutely hated them because they terrified her.  Normally, she wouldn't go anywhere near the roof, and if she had to get on it, it damned sure wouldn't be in the middle of a storm like this, when she could easily tumble to the ground, possibly killing both her and the baby.

     And that would be if the lightning didn't get her first.

     The storm seemed to hear his thoughts.  The sky erupted in a brilliant flash of white that blinded Robbie.  In that span of time, he felt a wave of disorientation strike him, and the wind almost knocked him off balance.  Almost.

     Sensing he was close to free-falling, he leaned closer to the roof and gritted his teeth, waiting for the world to reappear amid the stumble of light he couldn't seem to blink away.

     "Carrie!" he yelled, seeking comfort in hearing her voice.  He knew if he could somehow hear her, he could get to her and the nightmare would eventually be over.  But here again, the storm drowned him out.  It would have been impossible for Carrie to hear him.  Hell, it would probably have been impossible for Carrie to have heard herself think in this tempest.

     The darkness crept back slowly, and Robbie let go a sigh of relief when he could finally see again.  Maybe he didn't feel any closer to Carrie, but at least he wasn't blind anymore.  That was something.

     When, at last, Robbie could see clearly enough, he turned toward the peak of the roof.  Carrie stood as before, her arms still outstretched.

     "Carrie!" he cried again.  He wanted to believe she'd look down from the sky and find him, but that didn't happen.  Even though her rain-matted hair hung low on her forehead, almost in her eyes, she took no notice of it, seeing only the heavens.

     "Damn it," Robbie snapped, forcing himself to start slowly shimmying higher.  More than once, his boots scuffed the shingles, and even though he sought a secure location, he felt himself slipping and scrabbling for purchase, but scrabbling was better than picking himself up off the ground.

     It seemed to take forever to get to the peak even though it wasn't that far.  He often slipped, and more than once, his grip gave way, but Robbie refused to give up.

     By the time he straddled the peak, almost close enough to touch Carrie, the rain had turned to hail, blasted full force from the sky.  Robbie could barely look up at all, but something told him Carrie's position was relatively unchanged, though that didn't seem possible.  How could she keep looking up in this weather?

     "Carrie!" he yelled, hoping this time she would hear.  No such luck.

     Robbie didn't have a clue what was happening.  All he knew was he needed to get Carrie off the roof.  If Carrie couldn't hear him or, worse, ignored him, he was just going to have to get close enough to touch her.  Maybe that was the only way to break her obsession.

     Bracing himself for more forward motion, Robbie started to shift his weight, inching along ever so slightly.  More lightning arced through the air, dangerously close.

     Without thought, Robbie simply reached.  He hunkered low, trying to escape the flash; the resounding clap of thunder was deafening.

     In that instant, Robbie felt himself slide to the left.  He tried to shift his weight, but he found himself slipping toward the edge, gaining momentum as he went.

     Robbie splayed his hands, trying to stop himself. Panicked, he took one last look at Carrie, and that's when he saw the brilliant arc of light coming at him.  He had no time to think before the lightning consumed him, and all he could do was scream.

     Suddenly Robbie saw the light shift.  Shadows danced within that brilliance--shadows that reminded him of Carrie's face.  Their movement was strange, warped, and she appeared as though she were under water, with her hair splayed wildly around her head. Her lips parted; but all he heard was the dull static of white noise in his head.

     He sensed he was moving, probably still sliding toward the edge, but his thoughts were too jumbled for him to care.  Besides, he couldn't have moved even if he'd tried; his body had stopped responding.

     A brilliance enveloped him, and he flinched as pain surged through him.  His whole body spasmed, and he heard himself groan.  His world spun, and he knew he was falling, but even that was wrong.  It was slow, almost as though he were floating.  His mind fogged over in panic and he tried to sit up but couldn't.  All he could move were his eyelids.  He forced them open and found that although the harsh brilliance of the lightning had vanished, the world still glowed, and that glow came from Carrie. 

     His wife should have been farther away, especially once he'd started falling, but she was next to him, close.  Her skin seemed to brighter than most of what was around her, almost as though it barely contained light, and glimmers of it seeped out of her pores.

     Beneath Carrie's seemingly translucent skin, Robbie could see a faint shadow of something not-completely human. 

     Carrie's hair stood on end as before, and her palms, turned face up, almost seemed to be carrying him, but they weren't.  She wasn't that close. Her eyes seemed to glow.  His eyes widened in their supernatural beauty, and he found he had to look away.  It was too much.

     In short, the way Carrie seemed to glow, she looked like a star, casting her light over him, and the breath caught in his throat as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Had he been struck by lightning?  Was he seeing things?  That had to be the answer because this couldn't be real, not in a million years.

     Rain splattered his face, and even though Robbie wanted to open his eyes, he felt too dizzy.  The last thing he needed was to pass out.  He had done that only once--the first time he'd given blood in high school.  Everybody had laughed because he had been this big high school quarterback who'd hit the floor.  That's what he felt like right now and why he didn't want to move, at least not until the queasiness had stopped and he was able to regain his bearings.

     Even with his eyes closed, he knew his body was moving.  He could sense it.  Had he not felt ill, he would have tried to figure out what was going on, but it was all he could do to focus on breathing and staying conscious.  He felt hot.  Hell, the world was on fire, and not even the downpour of rain could put the blaze out.

     It could have been five minutes or an eternity before he heard Carrie speak to him. She was calling his name.  Even now, he could hear the slightly foreign pronunciation of his name, and that was what he focused on.  He didn't know why.  There were a million things to think of, but all he could settle on was the strangeness of Carrie, a woman he'd known most of his life.  There should have been no mysteries.

     Despite the dizziness assaulting him, he forced his eyes open.  Robbie found Carrie kneeling before him, her hands now uselessly poised in her lap.  She didn't know what to do with them.  Those hands were awkward there, what with the swell of her belly.

     "Robbie, can you hear me?"  Carrie spoke louder and leaned toward him.  Water beaded in her hair and spilled onto his face, joining the rainwater already there. 

     In the background, Robbie saw the house, rising large and imposing, toward the sky, and it confused him.

     "What happened?"  His voice was low and weak, matching exactly how he felt.

     "You were struck by lighting and fell off the roof."  Carrie pushed her hair behind her ears and wiped some of the water from her cheeks.

     Part of Robbie wanted to take what she was saying at face value, which would be the easiest thing to do, but he knew better.  No matter how long he lived, he was never going to get the image of his wife standing on the roof during a storm from his mind.

     "We should get you inside," she said, taking his arm to help him.  "Can you manage?"

     That right there was a giveaway.  Had he fallen from the roof, Carrie would never have let him get up.  She would have called for an ambulance and kept him still.     For a few seconds, he considered arguing with her but then thought better of it.

     "Yeah, I think I can walk," he finally said.  Carrie took his arm, ready to support him if necessary.  That's when he thought of how Carrie had appeared a few moments ago, her hands upturned as though carrying something while he supposedly "fell" to the ground.

     He wanted to claim he was all right, but the dizziness was still his constant companion.  He almost fell down getting to his feet, and had Carrie not been holding so tightly, he would have.

     Robbie flinched at such a stupid, awkward situation.  He was used to being the strong one--that was his place--but this reversal was almost as disturbing as the fact that Carrie felt far stronger than she should have.  He was much taller than she was, and normally the weight of his body would have been more than she could have shouldered, especially with the additional weight of the baby.

     Still Carrie somehow managed to walk without hunching as she supported him.  Although it didn't set well with him, he leaned on Carrie as they edged toward the door.  It was harder going than he'd expected because of the severe wind and downpour. More than once, he had to close his eyes to stop the spinning, yet she kept them both moving, heading into the dark house.