Surrendered on the Frontier (12 page)

Aaron nodded. “She told me. She had no right to lecture you about that, Ruth, and I’ve spoken to her about it.”

I nodded. “Well, after she said that, I lost my temper. I didn’t mean to, Aaron. I’ve never done it before. But I slapped her right across her face.”

He nodded, his eyes darkening. “Oh, I know it,” he said. “I came home for supper and my wife had the traces of a handprint straight across her face. How do you think I felt about that, Ruth? To work all day and come home to my wife, heavy with child, with evidence someone’d struck her?”

“I bet you were fit to be tied,” I said softly, casting my eyes down again.

“Oh, I was. The only thing that stopped me from comin’ out to give you a piece of my mind was Pearl beggin’ me to be merciful. So I did. This time. But damned if I’ll let you near her again. You say this is your first time hittin’ someone, yet I was there the day you tossed water in Geraldine’s face. Seems you’re given to temper more than you care to admit these days.” He frowned at me.

I squirmed. It was true, and I wanted to tell him it wasn’t. But I couldn’t. I
was
given to temper more recently, and my actions had surprised even me.

His eyes softened a bit as he continued. “Now, I know you had one difficult situation, Ruth. I knew Leroy and I know what he was capable of. You’ve done good, makin’ a way for yourself, and takin’ care of your daughter. But you do understand that until I know you’re not gonna lose your temper again, I’m keepin’ my wife in her delicate position away from you.”

My heart sank. I turned to Samuel. “Tell him, Samuel! Tell him how I already paid for what I did.”

Samuel was frowning at me now, too. “Oh, I did,” he said. “When he told me you oughtta be spanked for such a thing, I told him clearly I’d already taken care of that and
you’ll continue to answer for your disobedience.”

Suddenly I was mortified, and I wanted to run away and hide. My cheeks flamed, but I had to speak my mind. “I’m trying hard, Aaron. I
asked
Samuel to take me over his lap. I wanted to pay for what I’d done, and I did. Won’t you give me another chance?”

Aaron worked his jaw for a minute as he looked from me to Samuel. “Not today, Ruth,” he said, gently but still firmly. “Not when she’s about fit to bustin’ with that baby. She needs to take to bed and ease her discomfort.” He shook his head. “Not today.” He turned his back to me, effectively dismissing me as he turned back to Samuel. They spoke in low murmurs while I stood back.

Aaron swung himself up on the back of his horse, tipped his hat to me, and took off at a trot toward town. My heart sank within me. He was not going to allow me to see Pearl. My only real friend, heavy with child, and I wouldn’t be able to help her when she needed me. I wanted to cry.

Samuel beckoned for me to come to him. I dragged my feet, as I knew I’d disobeyed him. But when I reached him, he put his arm around me and hugged me.

“I know this is hard for you,” he said. “And I think Aaron’s bein’ a bit harsh. But the best way for this to blow over is not to stir it up but let it lie. You understand?”

I nodded.

“And why do you think I wanted you not to come out here right now?”

I sighed into the fabric of his shirt, the roughness somehow soothing against my cheek. “You knew he wasn’t going to want to listen to me,” I said sheepishly.

He continued. “Did I tell you not to talk to him right now? Did you know I wanted you back in the house?”

I couldn’t deny it. “I did.”

“And yet you plowed on anyway.”

“I had to! I had to tell him my side!”

Samuel frowned. “I didn’t tell you not to speak your mind. It was the timing that was wrong. You should’ve listened to me.”

My temper rose, this time because he was right and I’d been wrong. I was angry at myself for making a bad situation worse and I didn’t know what to do with that anger. “Well, you don’t always know everything,” I muttered.

His eyes flashed at me. “Adding disrespect now, Ruth? First you disobey and now you sass me?”

I looked away, wishing I could stop myself from spinning out of control.

Samuel continued. “Aaron was fit to be tied over that saddle bein’ missin’, and his own things being pilfered, and in no mood to be merciful or compromise. You ought to remember that, woman. When a man has somethin’ troublin’ him, he’s unlikely to be merciful. You understand my meanin’?”

I nodded slowly. I thought I understood. I dug the toe of my boot in the ground nervously. “You’re not feeling merciful at the moment, are you?”

He shook his head, his grip tightening. “Not at all.”

* * *

He marched me to the barn, holding my elbow tightly, and I had to skip to keep up with his long strides. He pulled out his milking stool, and pointed a finger for me to sit. Why was he making me sit? But after I obeyed him, I watched as he walked to the edge of the barn and over to a young birch several yards away from the barn door. I gasped. He meant to cut a switch? I watched him, my mouth gaping open, as he removed a thin switch with a knife and stripped it. He marched back to the barn, stern conviction written across his features.

“Come here, please,” he said, gesturing to the half wall that separated the loft from the stalls. It stood about as high as my waist. I stood and walked to him on trembling legs. When I reached him, his hand went to my jaw and he looked me straight in the eyes.

“You were rude to me, and disobeyed me,” he said. I nodded as he continued. “I was trying to protect you. I was trying to save you unnecessary hurt. How can I do that if you don’t obey me?”

“You can’t,” I whispered.

His eyes darkened as he released my chin and pointed to the wall. “Lift your skirts and lower your drawers. Then lean across that wall.”

I obeyed quickly. I needed it over with. I knew he wouldn’t spank me too hard, but I also knew a switching would sting and I was eager to get to the point where we were reconciled once again. He’d tried to protect me. My thoughts and emotions were nearly strangling me. I needed to be set to rights again.

As my drawers fell to my ankles, a breath of air hit my bare skin. I was mortified, while at the very same time there was something darkly erotic about being bared to him, prepared to receive my punishment. I bent obediently over the wall as he stepped over to me, placing a hand on my lower back.

“With each stroke of this switch, I want you thinking about how much I care about you. While every one of my instructions to you may not always make sense, they are
always
made with your best interest in mind. Do you understand me, young lady?”

My eyes were squeezed shut as I braced myself for the first stinging swat. “Yes, sir.”

The switch whistled through the air and struck me hard, the pain intensified in such a small area, it flared across my bottom. Again, the switch fell. I came up on the tips of my toes as a third swat landed.

“You’ll do what I say,” he said soberly, with another whistling lash of the switch. “You’ll learn to be respectful. You’ll learn to obey me.” Swat after swat fell and I lost count, the switch
whooshing
through the air right before searing pain blossomed. A cry rose in my throat and tears threatened to spill. He paused, his hand resting on my tender skin.

“Have I made my point, little Ruth?” he asked.

I nodded my head, my cheeks hot with embarrassment. “Yes, sir,” I whispered.

He yanked up my drawers, dropped my skirts, and pulled me to his chest, tossing the switch to the side. His eyes were grave, but filled with concern. I felt contrite now, and as I thought about Aaron not letting me see Pearl, the tears that welled in my eyes began to fall. I felt sorry I’d disobeyed Samuel and earned a punishment, sorry that I couldn’t see Pearl, and heartbroken that I’d not met the expectations of the family I loved so dearly.

His eyes softened. “Come here now, honey,” Samuel said, leading me to the milking stool in the corner. He sat and pulled me onto his lap, holding me tightly. “You deserved that and you know it,” he said. “You get riddled with guilt sometimes, and the best cure for that is a clean slate. I’m not angry anymore. And I know this is hard for you, but I must insist you obey me. You understand why?”

I nodded. “Yes, sir,” I sniffled. “You want to make sure I obey you so you can watch out for me.”

“That’s exactly right, honey,” he said. “You need to trust me. All your life you’ve never had someone to trust, now have you?”

My tears started afresh. I could merely shake my head.

“Will you trust me now, then, little Ruth? Do what I say, and I’ll do right by you. I give you my word.”

“I’ll trust you,” I whispered. Still sniffling, I held onto his shirt, feeling his warm, strong arms about me, his kiss at the top of my head protective and soothing. “I promise, Samuel, I will do my best.”

“And that’s all I’m askin’,” he whispered in return.

His hand traveled the length of my hair, smoothing everything back and tucking stray hairs into the bun at the nape of my neck. When he reached my neck, his strong hand wrapped around it, holding me even tighter than before as I felt the tears begin to diminish.

“Shhh,” he said. “It’s all right now.”

“But it won’t be,” I wailed. “Aaron hates me! He won’t let me near Pearl. I can’t do right!”

“Course you can, honey,” Samuel said. “You know it’ll all work out. Just right now, he needs a little time. He’s got a wife about to have a baby, and a home to ready for his family, responsibilities here, and much that must be done. It’s their first baby, and the proud papa needs to make sure everything’s in place. He’s not happy about the theft, either. It indicates somethin’ brewin’.”

I nodded. He was right.

“But Ruth?”

I looked at him as he took my chin in his hand.

“You’ll stay away. You’ll mind Aaron’s decision, or you’ll answer to me. Am I clear? You go over there, and I’ll whip your backside proper. You understand me?”

I nodded as a shiver went over me. Still sore from being spanked, but yet attracted to how stern he was with me. I couldn’t help it. I loved him for it.

“Samuel? Are you sure that he’ll soften over time?”

“I’m sure of it, honey,” he said.

I, however, was not so sure.

* * *

I went back to my home later that afternoon with a heavy heart. Ma had tried hard to talk me into staying for supper with Hannah, but I needed to be alone. I needed some time to think. So I met Hannah coming out of school, and we walked in amiable silence until we were near our house.

“I saw Pearl in town today, Ma,” Hannah said.

“Oh?” I asked, my head kept down, eyes on the dirt road in front of us.

Hannah nodded. “I said hello, and she nodded, but she was a bit different. Distant-like. Why, Ma?”

I sighed. “Pearl and I got into an argument,” I said simply. No need to get into the details.

Hannah nodded. “Matthew and I got into a fight today too,” she said.

“Oh?”

“Yep, I busted his nose and that settled that.”

“Hannah!” I was so shocked I froze. I turned to her, my mouth agape. “You didn’t!”

Her eyes darkened. “Sure as shootin’ did, Ma.”

I blinked, not sure how to continue for a minute, before I found my voice again. “Why, Hannah? Why ever would you do such a thing?”

“He tried to kiss me!”

I bit back a bark of laughter and instead managed to cover it up with a cough. “Did he?” I murmured. “Well, then. I bet you learned him, huh?”

“Oh, I did,” she said, nodding her head vehemently. “That boy won’t be tryin’ to kiss me anytime soon.”

I chuckled ruefully, hoping her words would prove prophetic at least for another few years. “Well,” I said, “you and I are bound to make sure the Stanleys think we’re a fierce breed, now, aren’t we?” I shook my head. “But they’re our friends, Hannah. We need to be kind to our friends.”

“I don’t go around kissing my friends!”

She had a point. “All right, then, darlin’. You have my permission to smack him if he tries to kiss you again.”

“All right.”

We turned then to the sound of hooves pounding hard on the trail. We pulled to the side, as the sound often indicated a horse was moving at a breakneck speed. I started when I saw it was Matthew. He drew the reins on his horse, coming to an abrupt stop.

“Where’s the fire, Matthew?” I asked.

“Oh, no fire, Miss Ruth,” he said. “But it looks like Pearl’s baby is comin’ sooner instead’a later. I’ve been asked to fetch the doctor.”

My eyes closed briefly. How I longed to go to her, to comfort her and to help her. But I could not.

“Go, then, boy,” I ordered. I watched the horse gallop off, as Matthew tipped his hat, and I wondered if there was anything at all I could do. I finally determined that after my earlier conversation with Aaron and the punishment from Samuel, I would do as I was told.

I sighed. Childbirth was painful and dangerous. I longed to go to Pearl. Could I, even knowing I risked the wrath of both Aaron
and
Samuel?

* * *

I could not disobey Samuel. I
would
not, no, not even if my limbs longed to run. I had to obey him as it was the only way to prove to him he could trust me. He had forbidden me from contacting Pearl until Aaron gave me leave. So I would do my very best to obey.

Hannah and I made it back to our cabin, and I busied myself with the monotonous routine of cleaning and meal preparation. I sliced our bread and served the cold chicken I’d already cooked. We ate while Hannah regaled me with tales from school, the way Matthew amused the girls by walking the fence backward with his eyes closed. I shook my head. That boy was incorrigible. He’d dipped Hannah’s braids into ink and tried to write with them like the top of the quill. Hannah had managed to get away, and I wondered if the kissing incident had been before or after the attempted hair dipping. It didn’t matter. That my little girl refused to be cowed by a boy
did
matter, and I was proud of her, though I still wondered if her protestations would end her in trouble.