Surrendered on the Frontier (7 page)

I smiled. Aaron and Pearl were very good at framing their generosities to allow for my pride to step aside and accept what they gave me.

“Oh, Ma!” Hannah said, her uninjured arm reaching out as one little finger gently stroked the soft feathers of a little chick. “They’re so cute!”

I smiled as Samuel tucked into his eggs and toast. “Adorable,” he muttered. “They’ll make lovely stewed chicken. Maybe even a plump roaster in there. I love me some roast chicken and gravy.”

Hannah’s jaw dropped in horror, her eyes widened, and I stifled a giggle.

Pearl frowned at him. “Just like your brother,” she muttered. “Unapologetic about preying on the innocent!”

Samuel shrugged and shot her a wicked grin. “Life on the prairie, ladies.” He’d eaten his three slices of toast and just as many eggs in the time it took me to dish up Hannah’s breakfast.

“You go on and eat your breakfast, Hannah. It’s time you be getting to school.” I paused. “Or maybe you should stay home today.”

Samuel took a sip out of his own mug before he spoke. “Did Dr. Gentry say she needed to be home?” he asked.

I blinked in surprise. “Well, no,” I said. “But she’s injured.”

He shrugged and sat back, taking another pull from the mug. “Her right hand ain’t injured. I see no need for her to stay home.”

I frowned. I felt as if he was overstepping his bounds, and I didn’t like it. “But I’m her ma, Samuel,” I said, turning back to the stove.

“Now, little Ruth—” Samuel began, but I interrupted him.

“I thank you for your help, Samuel, but I can see to the caring of my own daughter.”

I saw Pearl sit up in the chair next to Samuel. Samuel didn’t move. He looked at me placidly, but when he spoke, his voice had deepened. “School’s almost out for the year,” he said. “They’ll be doin’ exams soon, and she’s made it all the way to the brink of the next class. I’ve seen her studyin’ with Matthew, and heard tell in town that she’s advancin’ rapidly. It’d be a mistake to let her stay home today, when all’s she needs to do is be careful she don’t hurt her arm.” His jaw clenched.

“Samuel’s right,” Pearl said.

My temper surged. I hated that they knew things I didn’t. Why did
I
not know she was ready to advance? I didn’t like being made out to be the bad mother. I’d given my all to be a good mother. Now the two of them were piling hot coals on me, reminding me of how I’d failed. I turned to the stove and began cleaning up. I didn’t trust myself to speak for a minute.

Hannah broke the silence. “Ma, I’d rather go to school,” she said. “Is Matthew coming by?” she asked Samuel.

Pearl answered. “Oh, he’s already in the barn doin’ your chores,” she said. “He came when I did.”

I quickly packed Hannah’s lunch pail and helped her get out the door, just as Matthew came in. He was scowling when he came to the door. “Chores done,” he said. “And y’all need to sister that beam in your barn afore it comes fallin’ down. But I ain’t doin’ it, seein’ as I’ve already done enough chores for—” He stopped suddenly when he realized Samuel was sitting at the table beside Pearl.

“Mornin’, Matthew. Want to repeat that?” Samuel asked sternly.

Matthew scowled, kicking at the floor. “Beam in the barn needs sisterin’,” he said. Sistering would entail nailing a stronger, sturdier beam to the one already there.

Samuel nodded. “You come here after school, and the two of us will get that done.” Samuel turned to Matthew and Hannah. “You two go on and skedaddle,” he said, flicking his fingers to the door. “And Matthew, you mind what I say.”

After the two children left, I turned back to Pearl and Samuel, and both of them were looking at me strangely. Samuel’s look was calculating, but Pearl’s curious. Samuel took his cup and plate and handed them to me, walking to the door and retrieving his hat. He placed it upon his head and turned to me.

“I’ll see you this afternoon,” he said. “I’m sisterin’ that beam, and I’d better not come back and find you’ve touched it. You hear?” he asked, pointing one bossy finger in my direction, before he opened the door, nestling the basket of little chicks against him as he let himself out. “I’ll take these chicks to your barn. You latch the door behind me,” he called over his shoulder.

The door shut. I slammed it, latched it shut, and felt Pearl come right up behind me.

“Ruth, what has gotten
into
you?” she asked. She was standing now, her arms across her chest, glaring at me. “Do you have any idea how hard he works for you? He does his chores and then comes on over here and does yours for you. Do you even know what he does around here when you’re busy, or out? Who do you think mended the fence when your cow leapt it? Who do think mended the barn door when you were busy with the maple boiling at Ma’s? Do you think little elves come in the middle of the night and do all your work?”

Hot fury licked at my chest. “I did not tell him to do
any
of those things!” I shouted. “I’m fully capable of handling them myself! I did not ask for help, and he had no right coming on my property while I was gone!” I wanted to go and fetch him, and shake some sense into him.

Pearl took a step closer to me. “How dare
you
!” she said. “He bends over backwards to help you and for what? No thanks, and a smart mouth, that’s what!”

I don’t know what came over me then. Pearl was my very best friend in the world. I adored her. But it was as if some strange creature had come over me and the horrible knot in my chest overtook me. My hand shot out and before I knew what I was doing, I’d slapped her straight across her cheek. She screamed and covered her cheek with her hand, her eyes registering anger and shock. I was overcome with horror the second my hand struck her face, and my own hands covered my mouth.

“Oh, Pearl!” I said, overcome with emotion and regret. “I… I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry! Oh, Pearl!” Tears blurred my vision as I led her to my rocker by the fire.

“I shouldn’t have shouted at you,” she whispered, her eyes shut tight. Her hands dropped to her lap and I could see the telltale red marks of my handprint on her cheek. I touched her gingerly as I wept.

“I’m so sorry,” I moaned. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. And you, with child.” I dropped to my knees in front of her and stroked the handprint on her cheek.

“I’m all right, Ruth. You didn’t mean to,” she said softly. The fact that she wasn’t angry with me somehow made me feel worse. I wanted her to smack me back, as I deserved some sort of retaliation for what I’d done. “But Ruth, we must do something about this. If Aaron finds out… ohhh,” she whispered, covering her face with her hands. Aaron was so fiercely protective. “He wouldn’t let me see you anymore,” she whispered, her own tears flowing now. “He’d not allow me to visit if he knew you struck me.”

I covered my face with my hands and wept. What had I done? What could be done to fix this?

A knock came at the door, and before I could answer, it swung open. Samuel stepped in, removing his hat. “Now, Ruth, I went to check out the beam Matthew mentioned, and I—” He paused as he became aware of the scene in front of him, me kneeling in front of Pearl, her hands up to the pink handprint on her cheek, both of us in tears. “What in tarnation is goin’ on in here?”

He listened as I blubbered my story to him. “And he’ll never let me see her again,” I wailed at the end.

He stood with his feet planted apart, his arms across his chest, working his jaw before he spoke. “You all right, Pearl?” he asked.

She nodded. “I don’t even feel it anymore,” she said. I wondered if she was lying, but I still threw my arms around her and hugged her.

Samuel nodded. “All right. Looks like this is a case of you oversteppin’ your place, and little Ruth losin’ her temper.” He paused, and his voice deepened. “You both ought to be ashamed of yourselves,” he chided. I had no response. He was right.

He shook his head. “Pearl, you get on home and tend to that cheek,” he said. “Ma always used a cool cloth if we’d gotten into a fight at school. You rest up. I’ll tend to Ruth, and I’ll also tend to Aaron tonight. All right?”

Pearl stood, wiping her eyes and sniffling. I stood with her and we embraced.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered in her ear. “Please, won’t you forgive me?”

“Oh, honey, of course I do,” she whispered back. “It was my own fault for not mindin’ my own business. Aaron would put me over his knee for that alone,” she said with a laugh, kissing my cheek, and heading to the door.

He’d put her over his knee?

She left, and Samuel shut the door behind her. He turned slowly to face me, his hands going to his hips. “And what am I goin’ to do with
you
, young lady?” he asked sternly. This time, I had no smart answer. I could not bring myself to respond. I hung my head in shame as he stalked over to me. One finger placed under my chin, he lifted my face while I tried to blink back the tears that would not stop.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, my voice shaking as I cried. “I feel awful. Just awful.” The anger from earlier, the feeling of helplessness, and the weight that saddled my shoulders seemed insurmountable. I wanted to climb into bed and pull the quilt over my head. I wanted to never get out of that bed again. I deserved to be punished for such a wicked act against my closest friend, and the guilt I felt was consuming me. I covered my face with my hands, tears seeping through my fingers. “She’s so good to me,” I choked, as the tears flowed. “She’s with child, and I struck her. What a wicked, wicked thing. I feel so guilty, Samuel,” I said to him. “I ought to be whipped for such a thing.”

His arms came around me then, and he pulled me into his chest. One large hand stroked my hair as he held me. “I wouldn’t say whipped,” he said, and his voice was softer than I expected. “But little Ruth, I’ve long since thought that my hand across your backside would do you a world of good.”

I sniffled onto his chest as he held me. Just now, Pearl had told me Aaron would’ve taken her across his knee. She said it with a laugh, even. Would I feel better if he spanked me?

He’d told me he wouldn’t raise a hand to me, because of my past.

But would he if I
asked
? I pulled back from him.

“Samuel?”

He nodded, smoothing the dampened hair back from my forehead.

“Would you… spank me if I told you that I knew I deserved it? And I wouldn’t… be angry with you? I feel guilty,” I said. “I ought to be spanked.”

His eyes focused on mine a minute. He was contemplating. He finally spoke after what seemed a very long time.

“You want me to spank you?”

I closed my eyes and nodded. I couldn’t look at him.

“Fair enough,” he said.

I swallowed, fear racing across my chest and a surprising jolt of arousal at his stern but calm demeanor. “Now?” I whispered.

He released me, pulled a chair from the table, placed it in the center of the room, and sat heavily, his large legs spread apart. I looked at his lap and wondered what it would feel like to lie across his knees like a naughty child. He would not make me. He would not forcefully pull me across his lap.

Samuel
patted his knee. “Come now, little Ruth,” he said softly. “Come and lay yourself across my knee.”

He would not force me.

I would have to do it myself.

Chapter Four: The Spanking

Samuel was waiting. As I looked at him sitting in the chair, his brows furrowed and gaze uncompromising, my sex pulsed with need. I shifted uncomfortably.

He patted his lap again.

Ever so slowly, I dragged my feet toward him. What was I doing? Why had I asked him to punish me?

When I reached him, he gently took one of my small hands in his larger one. His voice was low and husky. “You need this, honey,” he whispered. My throat clogged once again from unshed tears, from both the sweet words and the knowledge that he was going to help me. He was right. I needed him to take control.

Slowly, ever so slowly, one silent tear rolling down my cheek, I lowered myself over his lap. I felt his strong thighs beneath me as the breath whooshed out of me. My feet came straight off the floor as my entire torso spread straight across his lap. He placed one firm hand onto my the small of my back, as the other slowly lifted my skirts. I held my breath. I squeezed my eyes shut. What would it feel like? How badly would it hurt?

“Young lady, why do I have you across my lap like a naughty little girl?” he asked. My heart thundered in my chest so that I could hardly stand it. This time, hearing
young lady
felt different. Fitting.

I swallowed. “I… lost my temper,” I whispered. “I slapped Pearl.” As the words came, so did my tears, flowing more freely now as I said out loud how horribly I’d treated my friend. I felt a breath of air as he finished lifting my skirts, the warmth of his palm on the thin cotton of my undergarments. I’d been bared to him before, but this was somehow more embarrassing and I wasn’t even bared. I felt his hand raise, then the first hard smack of his palm fell across my backside. It hurt more than I’d expected it to, and I was both humbled by the correction and astounded he’d actually spanked me that hard. The sound of the slap resonated in the cabin. I gasped, but stayed over his lap. I’d asked him to spank me. He was too tall for me to touch the floor in front of me, so I gingerly grasped his legs. I would take my punishment.

Another hard swat fell, then another. He paused several seconds between each punishing swat. I felt the searing pain of his palm across my skin, but it felt different from the times I’d been hurt before. This was not a beating. This was not belittling. I had consented. This was somehow cleansing, like a steaming hot bath, washing me of the grime and dirt of the day. Stroke upon stroke of his palm fell, and with each smack of his hand, I felt a bit of what I’d been holding onto strip away from me.

His voice was low and stern. “You’ve had this comin’ for a good long while, little Ruth.” The swats fell slowly, the bite of his palm on my bottom inexplicably both stinging yet welcome. I wanted him to stop, and I wanted him not to. It hurt, but it wasn’t unbearable. I could focus on nothing but the burn of his palm on my backside.