Sunsets (17 page)

“Sure. Like what?”

“Doesn’t matter. You nice girls can fix dinner for us or something.” Brad stood by the back door, leaning against the door jam and looking an awful lot like a junior high boy himself.

“Guess again,” Alissa said. “My days of fixing dinner to impress a man ended quite some time ago.”

“You don’t have to impress us,” Brad said. “You can just feed us, and we’ll be happy.”

Alissa picked up a pillow from the love seat and tossed it at Brad. He ducked, and it bounced off the window. “I’ll ask Shelly when she gets back. I think she’s home Monday.”

By the time Shelly did arrive on Monday, Alissa had a lot of news for her. “I went to church yesterday,” she told Shelly. They were both in the kitchen putting together a salad for dinner. “With Genevieve and the girls. The church was a little different from what I’m used to, but I liked it. So much is happening inside of me. I don’t know what triggered it, but I’m doing better than I have in years.”

“That’s terrific,” Shelly said. When she had walked in the door half an hour earlier, she had told Alissa she had big news but wanted to wait until they sat down to eat.

“And you’ll never guess what I’ve been reading,” Alissa said. “Your old hymnal.”

“Really?”

“So much stuff is in there that I’ve never learned about Christianity.”

“You mean like the Apostle’s Creed?” Shelly asked.

“What’s that?”

“You know, ‘I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth. And in Jesus Christ his only Son, our Lord.’ You don’t know this?”

Alissa shook her head. “That is so amazing. You can just rattle off what you believe like that. How did I miss all these basics?”

“You obviously didn’t go to confirmation class when you grew up.”

“I want to learn this now. I want to know what I believe. I want it to be so much more than an emotional high from Sunday to Sunday.”

“That’s funny,” Shelly said, carrying the salad dressing bottles over to the table. “I’ve been drilled in the basics my whole life. What I want is more emotion. More pizzazz in my faith.”

“Sounds like we’re a good match,” Alissa said, following her with bowls, forks, and napkins.

“Well, whatever happened to you while I was gone is great. You seem really refreshed. I’m happy for you.”

They sat down and scooped up the salad. “You want to pray for us?” Shelly asked.

“Okay,” Alissa said. Praying aloud had never been her favorite activity. As a matter of fact, she could only remember praying aloud a few times in her life. With calm determination, she closed her eyes and reverently formed her words of thankfulness to her heavenly Father. She thanked him for this new
home, her new friends, for all he had provided. Then she especially thanked God for allowing her to move in with Shelly. She closed with “Amen” and looked up with a feeling of victory. She had prayed aloud, and it hadn’t been awkward at all.

Shelly, however, didn’t have the same look of satisfaction on her face. She actually looked as if she were in pain.

“Are you okay?” Alissa asked.

Shelly quietly nodded.

“Didn’t you have some big news to tell me?” Alissa prodded as she scooped the salad from the bowl.

Shelly took a deep breath. “The airline has transferred me to Seattle.”

A
lissa put down the salad tongs and looked hard at her new friend, hoping for some hint that this was a joke. “Seattle?” Alissa repeated.

Shelly nodded. Her jaw seemed to clench and unclench. She slowly said, “When I was having a hard time finding a roommate a few months ago, I put in for a transfer to Seattle because a lot of my family lives there. I grew up there. When it was denied, I forgot about it. Then you moved in, and my financial situation was straightening itself out.”

“Can’t you turn it down?” Alissa asked.

“It’s a little more complicated than that. I’m due for a pay raise, and I’d definitely get it if I transferred to Seattle. I might not get it for another six months if I stay here. Plus I’d have a new flight schedule with weekends off, which would be a first in my career.” Shelly leaned back in her chair. “And I’d be near family. I have friends here, but it’s not the same. You know.”

“Well, I don’t exactly,” Alissa said. “But I think I know what you’re feeling. It sounds like you need to take the transfer before they change their minds.”

“But I feel so bad,” Shelly said. “You just moved in, and we’re barely starting to know each other.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Alissa said. “I know what jobs are like in the travel industry. You have to take any advancement you can when it comes to you. I think it’s great you’ll be near your family again.”

“What about you? Can you handle the payments here by yourself?”

“I’m sure I can for awhile. I may need to look for a roommate, but not right away. When do you leave?” Alissa pushed the salad closer to Shelly, encouraging her to dish some up for herself.

“Two weeks,” Shelly said.

“They don’t waste any time, do they?”

“Not in the summer. Would you pass me the salad dressing, please?”

Alissa took a bite of salad and hoped the chewing sound would dull the pounding that had started in her head. She knew Shelly’s move wasn’t a decision she should take personally. Yet she couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss already. Loss was a feeling she was familiar with. In her earlier years, she had been the one to leave people and places. Then important people in her life started to die, and they all left her.

Without expecting it, Alissa felt a salty tear slip from her tear duct to land in her salad. She hoped Shelly hadn’t seen it. She didn’t want to make Shelly feel bad.

But Alissa couldn’t help it. The tears started to come. And she couldn’t stop them. This was so unlike her. She had barely cried when she experienced big losses in her life. She was
always strong and immovable. This was only a roommate, someone she had known less than a month. Why should so many tears come now?

“Excuse me,” she said once she could find her voice. “This isn’t about you. I just need to have a good cry.” Alissa got up from the table and slipped into her bedroom. Once the door was closed, she really began to cry. So many tears. So much loss and injustice over the last ten years of her life.

As she pulled the last tissue from the box and dabbed at her red eyes, Alissa chided herself for crying a river of tears. The thought brought back the memory of that song she had tried to find in the hymn book the previous week, “I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me.” Tonight she had a river of tears, not life, flowing from her. She had held on to her sorrow for too long, secretly questioning God and feeling bitterly betrayed by his insensitivity to her needs.

Those long stored-up grievances against God were pouring themselves out. She was beginning to see things differently. God was God. God could do whatever he wanted. He didn’t have to answer to Alissa for what happened in her life. Instead, she was the one who would one day stand before him and give an account of what she had done with all he had given her.

There was a gentle tap on her door followed by Shelly asking if she could come in. Alissa sat up in bed, embarrassed for losing control in front of Shelly. “Come in.”

Shelly opened the door with the newspaper in her hand. “How are you doing?”

“Better. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize. I was noticing a good movie is on television tonight. Why don’t you watch it with me? I made some popcorn.”

Alissa didn’t hesitate. “I’d like that. I have to be honest and
tell you I’m really bummed you’re moving. But I think it’s the right thing for you.”

“Thanks,” Shelly said. Her clean, scrubbed face caused her to look open, sweet, and happy. “We can still get together sometimes, with the way we both travel. Maybe we could plan a vacation somewhere. With your travel discounts and my airline discounts, it could be an inexpensive trip.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Alissa said. “I’m going to change, and then I’ll join you for the movie.”

“Okay. I’ll grab a drink for you. What do you want?”

“Water is fine,” Alissa said. “With some ice.”

The next morning at work Alissa was thinking about how the “pajama party” had turned out to be the best thing the two friends could have done. It helped her move past her grief.

It occurred to Alissa that she could also raise her spirits by spending time with Rosie. On a lark, she called Rosie, who answered on the third ring.

“Why, hello!” she said. “How are you, Alissa? I was just about to go out. I’m glad you caught me.”

“Oh, too bad. I was calling to invite you to lunch today.”

“Well, it’s just a doctor’s appointment. His office isn’t far from your agency. Why don’t you join Chet and me for lunch? We’re going to Green Street. That Diane Salad is my favorite. It’ll probably be too hot to eat out on their patio, but we do like the menu.”

“I would love that,” Alissa said.

“Is 11:30 too early?”

“No,” Alissa said. “That’s perfect. I’ll see you then.”

She returned to the tedious job of cataloging the new travel package brochures while Cheri caught all the incoming phone calls. Renée came in around eleven, and since no customers were in the agency at that moment, she stood between Alissa and Cheri’s desks. She smoothed back her fluffy red hair and made an announcement.

“We did record sales in June,” she said, lifting her hands in the air, “and you both get raises! I was just at the accountant’s, and your raises will begin with your August 1 paycheck. Don’t all thank me at once.”

“You should thank us,” Cheri said with a half smile, which meant that, even though she was going to present this as a joke, she was serious. “Alissa and I have been doing the work of three employees. Have you thought any more about hiring someone else, even if the person is only part-time?”

“What do you want,” Renée said, placing a hand on her broad hips, “a raise or another employee?”

Alissa and Cheri looked at each other. “Both,” they said in unison.

“You two are impossible,” Renée said good-naturedly. She wasn’t the best of bosses, but at least she rolled with the punches. “This month you get the raises. Next month, we’ll talk about another employee.”

Alissa left to meet Rosie for lunch and felt as if she were walking on the clouds. A raise, right when she needed the extra income to cover the soon-to-be increased rent on her duplex.

“Why are you doing this, God?” she whispered as she walked the four short blocks to the Green Street Restaurant. “You just keep doing more good stuff in my life. Thank you.”

It struck her that only last night she had been dragging before God all the things he had taken away from her, and she had complained much louder than she was thanking him now. She recalled a verse in Job that seemed like a good one to help her keep her perspective in balance. “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

As she hoofed it past the flower shop and stationery store, Alissa wished she could grasp the eternal truth that was wrapped up in Job’s statement. God does give. And he does take away. He’s God. He can do whatever he wants. Alissa realized
she was supposed to thank him, to bless him no matter what, in good times as well as bad.

She was less than a block from Green Street when she strode past The Computer Wiz. As always, she looked in the window on the off chance she might see Brad working there. She never had seen him. But then, she didn’t know his hours or where he worked in the shop.

Today, however, she did see him. He was walking out the front door just as she was going by. He had on tan shorts and a long-sleeved denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair was pulled back in a short ponytail, and his face was shaved. He looked a lot different than he had on Friday night when he showed up at her back door and listened to her go on about the hymn she had discovered.

“What took you so long?” Brad said, and then fell in stride alongside her.

Alissa stopped to look at him incredulously.

“Come on. We’re going to be late for lunch,” he said.

“I don’t remember inviting you to go to lunch with me.”

“You didn’t. Chet did.” Brad gestured with his hand that she should step it up.

This was supposed to be my time with Rosie!

Alissa slowly took a step, a scowl on her face. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“We didn’t know you ladies had made plans that overlapped ours.”

“Overlapped yours. When did you and Chet make your plans?” Alissa asked, now in step with Brad.

“Last Friday. I called him to see if he wanted to go for another milk shake, and he suggested we get together today since Rosie had a doctor’s appointment. Only you called Rosie this morning and goofed up everything.”

“I didn’t goof up anything!” They were at Green Street’s
door, and Alissa felt like punching Brad in the stomach. He could be so rude sometimes.

Brad reached over her head to open the door for her. With his arm still shadowing her like a canopy he leaned forward and said in her ear, “Hey, listen, you can be mad at me later, but do me a favor and be nice to me in front of my friends. I like these guys.”