Sunset: 4 (Sunrise) (24 page)

John was anxious for their honeymoon, glad that in an hour they’d set off not only to their bed-and-breakfast road trip but to a new life together. He let the thought roll around his heart for a minute, and he smiled. Gone was the sense of betrayal and sadness he’d felt earlier today. Elaine was his wife, and he didn’t only enjoy her presence and company. He wasn’t only glad for her friendship and camaraderie; he felt something much stronger, something he’d fully acknowledged to Elaine long before this day.

He loved her.

A breeze made the humidity bearable as Kari stood outside the church with Annie on her hip.

“Mama!” Annie put her chubby hands against Kari’s face and grinned. “Hi, Mama!”

“Hi, Annie girl!” Kari kissed her daughter’s cheeks. “This is the big day. Everyone’ll be here.” She bounced Annie up a little higher and scanned the parking lot. “Any minute now.”

Sam and Erin had flown back to Texas a week ago after their dad’s wedding, then spent the next few days packing their belongings in a U-Haul truck. The plan was for them to get into town today and for as many family members as possible to go home after church, change clothes, and meet at Erin and Sam’s new house to help them move in.

Erin had called last night with the update. “We should be there right about nine in the morning. Sam and I figured we’d meet everyone at church.”

Kari had passed the good news on to the rest of her siblings, and later that night she’d heard from her dad. “Elaine and I will be home tomorrow afternoon.” He sounded happy and rested. “We’ll meet everyone at Sam and Erin’s.”

Kari loved days like this, when everyone came together for a common goal.

She brushed her hair back from her face and squinted at the far entrance to the lot. Just as she was about to grab her cell phone from her purse and call Erin, she spotted a long U-Haul. The truck pulled in, and behind it was a white van, clearly the one Erin was driving.

“They’re here!” Kari kept her squeal low since behind her the church doors were open.

“Here!” Annie raised her hand.

Again Kari kissed her cheek. She was such a happy baby, such a blessing in their lives. Kari was watching her sister’s family find parking places near the back of the lot when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around, and there, with a stricken look on her face, was Angela Manning.

“Kari . . .”

“Hi.” Kari wasn’t sure what to say. Two things were obvious. Angela was upset about something, and clearly now that she was out of the psychiatric hospital she’d taken Kari’s advice and was attending church. But of all the churches in Bloomington, Kari hadn’t expected her to visit Clear Creek Community. During their Bible study time, Kari had never mentioned where she attended, because she didn’t want things to get awkward for either of them. She gently touched Angela’s elbow. “Something’s wrong?”

Angela’s mouth opened and stayed that way for a few seconds while she searched Kari’s eyes. “Why?” Her voice was barely loud enough to hear and full of pain. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kari’s heart skipped a beat, and she racked her brain. Did Angela know who she was? And if so, how had she found out? Kari’s mouth felt dry. “I’m . . . not sure what you mean.”

“I wanted to send you a card, to thank you for talking to me.” She covered her mouth with her hand, and tears slid down her cheeks. She shook her head and fought for control. “I’m sorry. I just . . . I can’t believe this. Your name kept sounding familiar, and finally I googled it and . . .” A sob came over her, and the sorrow contorted her face. “I know the truth. I . . . I know who you are.”

Dear God, what am I supposed to do now?
Kari held tight to Annie and tried to steady herself. She should’ve said something from the beginning, but now what? Annie seemed to sense something was wrong, and she laid her head on Kari’s shoulder and stuck her thumb in her mouth. In the distance, Kari could see Erin and Sam and their kids walking from the van and the moving truck, starting out across the parking lot. She only had a minute or so to resolve the situation. She looked intently at Angela. “I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t know how to—”

“No.” Angela looked practically frantic. “No, you can’t apologize to me! None of this . . .” Another sob caught in her throat, and she pressed her brow with her thumb and forefinger. “It’s not your fault. When I figured it out, I wanted to run, forget about God and having a new life, because what sort of person—” her voice fell to a strained whisper—“does what I did?”

Compassion filled Kari’s heart. “That was in the past. I knew it, and I knew God wanted me to tell you about Him.” She shrugged and smiled. “It’s okay. Really.”

“It’s not. It’ll never be okay. But I realized something.” Angela looked intently into Kari’s eyes. “If God’s love could convince you to study the Bible with me . . . me of all people . . . then God’s love was big enough to give me a new life. Even big enough to forgive me. It’s a love I can’t begin to understand.”

Kari was overwhelmed by the significance of the moment, the miracle of it. Her body began to tremble. She thought about how far God had brought all of them since Tim’s affair, his murder, and she reached out and hugged Angela. “Yes . . . the love of God really is all that.” She eased back. “Our pastor likes to say that if we could completely understand God, then He wouldn’t be God. But the fact is, He’s beyond our understanding. His love’s that way too.”

Angela seemed to notice Erin and Sam and their girls, smiling and laughing and coming their way. She sniffed and took a step back. “I’m not sure this will be my church, but I had to tell you that I knew the truth.” She smiled, and through her tearstained face a deep regret filled her expression. “I’m sorry, Kari. You’ll never know how much.”

Then Kari said the words her parents had taught her to say, words that were crucial for healing to begin. “I forgive you.”

Angela’s expression changed, and the regret faded. In its place were gratitude and peace that Kari had never seen there before. “Thank you.” Without another word, Angela nodded and then turned and walked back into the church.

At the same time, from ten yards away Kari heard Erin’s joyful cry. “We’re here!”

Sam looked happier than he had in a long time. He grinned at Kari as they walked up. “Even on time for church.”

“Yeah.” Chloe’s eyes were wide. “Daddy hates being late for church.”

They all laughed, and Clarisse reached up and took hold of Kari’s free hand. “I wanna sit by you.”

“Me too.” Heidi Jo and Amy spoke at the same time, and they both scampered to Kari’s other side. The girls wore sundresses, their hair in matching ponytails.

Erin gave Kari a hug. “I can’t believe we’re really here. It’s like a dream.” Her face glowed, and her happiness was contagious. “Is everyone inside?”

“Everyone but Dad and Elaine. They’ll get back later today.” She heard music from inside. “We better go! Cole and Maddie are singing with the kids’ choir.”

With that they headed into church, the girls giddy, whispering about this being their new home, and the adults excited about sharing a Sunday service. Because this was the way all of them had always wanted life to be. The Baxter family and their spouses and kids going through life together, worshiping God together.

Not just for now but for a lifetime of Sundays.

The worship band started off with a Jeremy Camp song about walking by faith even when sight wasn’t possible. Ashley sat with Landon in the back of three full rows filled with her family. The music grew and filled the church, and the words touched Ashley’s heart with their relevance. “I will walk by faith even when I cannot see because this broken road prepares Your will for me. . . .”

Ashley felt Landon take hold of her hand, felt his fingers ease between her own. She closed her eyes and let the words wash over her. The message was so completely true. When she was alone in Paris or when her life was on the line because of her health . . . even last year when they lost Sarah, with Landon by her side she had learned to walk the journey of life with faith in God alone.

But that wasn’t all. Because the truth was, the broken road she’d walked over the last ten years had indeed prepared her. She opened her eyes and caught a glimpse of Kari whispering to Erin two rows up. For a second, Kari’s profile looked almost the same as their mother’s.

Ashley lifted her gaze to the plain wooden cross at the front of the church. One of the letters her mother had written to them, a letter Ashley hadn’t read until her father gave them their scrapbooks, said basically the same thing as the song.
“So often,”
her mother had written,
“only in weakness do we reach out to God, and only as we reach out to God do we find the strength He always intended for us, the strength for whatever comes next.”

The song ended, and another one began. Ashley surveyed her extended family filling the pews in front of her. After the kids’ choir, the children would leave for Sunday school, but for now everyone was together. Ashley looked past Landon to Cole and Devin.

Cole turned and whispered to Landon, “I think it’s time.”

“It is.” Landon slid his legs to one side. “Go ahead. You’ll do great.”

Ashley leaned closer and put her hand against Cole’s cheek. “You can do it. Don’t be nervous.”

Cole held her gaze for a moment, then gave a firm nod to both of them. With that, he hurried out the right side of the pew, waited for Maddie to slip out of her row, and the two of them hustled down the aisle at the same time as other children left their seats. All of them met up front near the sweet, gray-haired choir director. She organized them into a line, and when the second song ended, the band waited while the kids walked onto the stage in single file.

The kids’ choir was something new at Clear Creek, and Cole and Maddie had tried to talk their other cousins into joining them. The way Erin’s and Kari’s kids were straining in their seats, looking excitedly at Cole and Maddie, Ashley had a feeling the others would get involved soon enough.

The choir director sat down in the front pew and held out her hands. As she did, the children quieted down, their attention completely on her. With that, the band began to play “This Little Light of Mine.” Ashley felt her heart swell with pride as the children’s voices rang out across the church. How different Cole’s life would be if it weren’t for her parents and Landon, if it weren’t for God’s mercy and love. Would he even have a light to shine for all the world to see?

The song was well under way when Maddie took a step forward and raised her voice louder than the others around her. Ashley watched, confused. Before she could wonder if her strong-willed niece was about to sing a solo, Cole took hold of her arm and pulled her back into line. For a moment it looked like a fight might break out right between the verses. But then Maddie grinned at Cole and linked arms with him.

Midway through the second verse, Ashley felt the baby inside her kick hard against her ribs. She smiled and put her hand on her stomach. Ashley and Landon had finally settled on a name for their newborn son: Isaac James. Isaac because this child felt like a gift from God, the way Isaac was for Abraham in the Bible. And James because Ashley and Landon both loved the message of James in Scripture—that the testing of one’s faith developed perseverance. Through the past year, the truth that perseverance developed hope had become even clearer to them. This new little boy was definitely a ray of hope for their family.

By the time the kids’ song ended, Cole and Maddie ran back down the aisle to their seats looking like the best friends everyone knew they would someday be. Cole took his spot beside Devin, breathless from the performance. “How was that?”

“Great!” Landon rubbed his head, his voice a soft whisper. He winked at their son. “I like how you kept Maddie in line.”

Cole rolled his eyes. “Someone has to.” He seemed to be bursting with some sort of information. “Mom, guess what?”

“What?” The band was launching into another song, but Ashley wanted to hear what was on his mind.

“When I was singing, I could picture Grandma and baby Sarah watching.” His smile became tender and heartfelt. “From their window in heaven.”

Ashley smiled. “I can picture that too. We’ll talk more later.”

He nodded, and all of them turned their attention back to the front of the church. Ashley picked up the church bulletin from the spot on the floor where she’d set it. As she did, she scanned the top of the front cover for the title of the message. A chill ran down her spine as she found what she was looking for. She leaned into Landon’s shoulder and motioned for him to read it too. He did, and his eyebrows rose in surprise. He put his arm around her and leaned his head against hers.