Summer Sunsets (26 page)

Her hand trembles as she
takes the glass, so I keep holding it as well. While cold water
spilling all over her might both cool her off and totally snap her
awake, I’d rather do it in a little less sudden way. She starts out
sipping the water but keeps drinking until the glass is empty. I
take it and hand it to the manager.

“
Do you want
more?”

She shakes her head. “No. I
just want to get up. It’s not comfortable.”

“
All right. Let’s see what
we can do about that.” I ease myself to a standing position and
gently support her as she scrambles to her feet, her reflexes a
little slower than they should be. Perhaps I should release her
once she’s on her feet, but instead we both stand there, looking
into each other’s eyes, one of my hands resting on her back and the
other gently grasping her arm.

“
Wow. That was so not fun,”
she whispers, feeling the weight of the other patrons’ eyes resting
on us.

“
You okay?” I ask, leading
her back to our booth. “You’re still pale.”

“
It’s hot in
here.”

At the table, I look at our
food. “Do you want any more of this?”

“
No. I’d rather just get out
of here.”

Glancing at the wall clock,
I realize we have about thirty minutes before her appointment with
Dr. Klein, but I don’t care. His office is bound to be cooler than
this place, hands down. “Okay, why don’t we head over to the
obstetrician’s office, then.”

“’
Kay.” She leans against me
as I walk to the register and pay. My arm stays tight around her
even as we slip out into the bright sunlight, and even though I
have to blink to avoid the glare, I notice immediately the cool
breeze that toys with Skye’s hair and it’s like the temperature
drops just by being out here instead of in there.

“
Better?” I ask, leading her
to the car.

“
Definitely. It was like a
sauna in there.”

I want to ask if she feels
any differently, if something might have happened with the baby,
but I know that’s not a good point to bring up. Skye worries about
it incessantly. I think it has to do with the abortion. As such,
there’s no point in calling attention to it and upsetting her.
Besides, Dr. Klein will be able to tell us if something is wrong. I
just need to be patient and keep my mouth shut until
then.

In silence, we head to the
Jeep, both lost in thought. While I know Skye is stable on her feet
now, I’m not ready to let go of her. It’s like I’m supposed to be
right beside her no matter what’s going on, and that’s the only
place I feel completely at home, so I tuck her into the Jeep, slip
into the driver’s seat, and head toward the doctor’s
office.

We’re almost there when I
feel Skye staring at me. Turning, I smile. “What are you
thinking?”

“
What if I lose this baby?
Will you still love me?”

The pit of my stomach
falls. There’re a lot of issues to address there, and no matter
what answer I give her, she’s going to focus on what I don’t say. I
know Skye. Instead of responding immediately, I wait until I can
coast into the parking lot before turning to meet her
gaze.

“
Nice out, Skye, but it
won’t work. I was in love with you long before you and I first made
love, and since that day I’ve only loved you more.” My hand drifts
over and touches her stomach. “I don’t think you’re going to lose
this baby, but even if you did, I’d be here. You know I
would.”

Her hair falls around her
face, and it helps her hide, something Skye does intentionally when
she doesn’t know what else to do. She nods to let me know she’s
heard, and I get out, thinking she’ll follow. Instead, as I stand
outside the Jeep, she sits there, staring out into space. Puzzled,
I walk around and tug her door open.

“
We should probably get you
inside and out of this heat.”

She blinks a couple of
times and nods, scooting out of the seat, averting her gaze. Her
steps are slow, almost doddering, which confuses me. It’s almost
like she doesn’t want to go in there. I start to open my mouth and
ask about that until the truth dawns on me—she’s afraid she’s going
to find out something bad about the baby.

Sensing that at any moment
she’s going to dig her feet into the ground and stop altogether, I
wrap my arm around her, not only to get her moving a little quicker
but also to keep her calm.

“
It’s going to be okay,” I
say, leaning close.

“
What if it’s not?” Her
voice is breathless and weak.

“
And what if it is?” I
counter, kissing her forehead. She doesn’t answer because by this
time we’ve arrived at the door of Dr. Klein’s office, and no matter
how much faith I’ve got and she doesn’t, the truth is about to be
staring us both in the face, and we need to be together when it
does.

Knowing she’s probably not
going to go in unless she has to, I tug open the door before gently
pushing on the middle of her back to get her to go inside. She’s
trying to resist, but she knows she doesn’t have a choice, no
matter how badly she might want one.

As usual, there’s a handful
of people, mostly pregnant women and their spouses, filling the
chairs. Although Skye’s tummy is still kind of flat, her hand
drifts to it, almost like she’s looking for a reason to be here
when she so obviously doesn’t fit. I nod to the desk.

“
Perhaps you should sign
in.”

“
All right.” She takes a
deep breath, steps to the desk, and signs the sheet before grabbing
a magazine and returning to sit beside me. Her trembling fingers
flip open the glossy spread, and she feigns reading pretty well. In
fact, I’m probably the only person who recognizes she’s hardly
paying attention to the black print in front of her and she’s
flipping pages too quickly for her to be reading
anything.

As she sits with the
magazine, one hand holds it spread open while the other flutters
nervously about, brushing the hair from her eyes, tapping her
thigh, brushing against her throat. She can’t sit still for all the
nerves tearing through her, yet while she can’t manage the
stillness, I can’t handle her constant motion. It makes me tired,
so I do the only thing I know—I grab her hand and hold it, my
fingers squeezing hers reassuringly.

Her gaze flickers towards
me for a second, and I see the fear running rampant within. I wish
the doctor would hurry up and call us back. Yeah, I know we just
got here and we’re early for the appointment, but there are some
things that defy patience.

Leaning back, I try to tell
myself to think of the projects I’m heading up at work or the
things that need to be done before the wedding and Skye moves in
with me in the apartment I’ve rented—anything to keep my mind off
the fears Skye can’t seem to forget.

“
Skye Williams?” A nurse
calls out to us from the doorway leading back to the examination
rooms. Her short brown hair is pushed behind one ear to keep it
away from her eyes. One hand holds open the open, and the other
holds a clipboard with Skye’s medical history.

Gritting her teeth, Skye
sets the magazine on the table next to her chair and forces herself
to get up and meet me as we head toward the door. Once we pass
through, the nurse lets the door close and stops at the scale Skye
stands on.

“
So how is our new
mother-to-be?” the nurse ask cheerfully, watching the numbers on
the scale. Skye’s gained two pounds since her last visit, and I’m
smart enough to know that’s a good thing.

“
Fine.” Skye pastes a fake
smile on her face.

“
She fainted a few minutes
ago,” I correct, trying not to see the glare Skye’s intent on
giving me.

The nurse scribbles the
weight on the chart before gesturing for us to enter the first room
on the right. “And what was going on when that happened?” She waits
for us to enter and closes the door for privacy.

“
We were having lunch at a
restaurant, and it was hot. So hot. The air conditioner wasn’t even
running.”

“
That’s not uncommon.
Pregnant women are very susceptible to heat. I’ll make note of it
and let Dr. Klein know.” She grabs the blood pressure cuff from the
wall pocket and pats the examination table. “Why don’t you lie down
here so we can make sure everything is all right?”

After Skye is lying on the
gurney, she reaches out and wraps the cuff around Skye’s arm. Once
the cuff is secure, she begins squeezing the bulb. A moment later,
she shakes her head. “Well, it would appear your blood pressure is
slightly elevated, but that might have something to do with the
heat and stress. At any rate, Dr. Klein will be right with you.”
She finishes the note she’s jotting in the file and slips out,
closing the door behind her. Once she’s gone, I step closer to Skye
so I can take one hand and effectively still her twitching
fingers.

“
There’s no point in
stressing, Skye—and I’m sure everything is fine.”

“
That’s easy for you to
say.”

I squeeze her hand. “You
think so? Really? Because from where I’m standing, everything that
matters to me is lying right here.”

Tears fill her eyes, and I
know if she could think of something to downplay my words, she
would, but right now she’s just too terrified.

The door opens, admitting
both the nurse and Dr. Klein. He looks at us and says, “Well, good
afternoon, Ms. Williams. How are you feeling?” He turns his
attention to the chart and begins reading.

“
I’m okay.” She licks her
lips and forces a smile she doesn’t feel.

“
She passed out a little
while ago,” I say, figuring I’d rather just call the elephant to
the center of the room rather than keep pretending that nothing is
going on. Dr. Klein frowns.

“
All right. Let’s have a
look.” He closes the chart and pulls out a measuring tape. “Could
you lift your shirt just a little so we can get a clear look at
your stomach, please?”

“
Of course.” She pushes the
fabric up higher, exposing her pale flesh, and the doctor promptly
measures, probably checking to see if there are any changes. He’s
completely silent the whole time, which unnerves me, and I know it
can’t be doing much for Skye, either. We both watch as he sets
aside the tape measure and picks up a small device. He nods to the
nurse, who grabs a bottle of gel and walks over to Skye.

“
This might be a little
cold, but it’s necessary for the Doppler to pick up the baby’s
heartbeat.”

Although Skye stiffens,
preparing for the cold on her skin, she isn’t completely ready for
its suddenness, and her body tenses. I don’t think all that is
about temperature, if you want the truth.

I watch her as one hand
clamps the side of the table and she grits her teeth. I know what
she’s expecting and that it has to do with a long-ago choice she
can no more erase than I can, even though we both would, and in a
heartbeat.

When Dr. Klein first puts
the Doppler against her skin, all we hear is silence. He shakes his
head. “First thing, we have to find the little one.” He starts
moving the small wand around, smearing more of the gel across her
stomach.

Skye closes her eyes, and
her whole body is taut with tension and fear. I squeeze her hand,
trying to reassure her, even though it’s probably not going to do
any good. It’s only when the sudden, rapid whooshing sound fills
the air that her eyelids flutter open and she gasps.

“
Is that…the
baby?”

Dr. Klein smiles. “Yes,
that would be the baby. He or she is nestled a little deeper than I
expected, but the heart rate sounds good.”

A relieved smile crosses
Skye’s face and she looks at me as though she’s finally able to
take a deep breath and face me. She levels another question,
probably just to make sure there’s nothing to worry about, not that
it’ll matter. It’s in Skye’s nature to worry, worry,
worry.

“
So is there anything I
should be concerned about?”

Dr. Klein picks up the
Doppler from Skye’s tummy and hands to the nurse before walking
over to flip through the chart. “Your weight gain is good, and the
heartbeat is strong. Your blood pressure is fine. I know you have
concerns because you passed out today, but I’m pretty sure that was
heat-induced. Based on all this, I think the biggest concern you
have at this point is staying cool until autumn finally decides to
put in an appearance.” He closes the chart. “Everything looks good,
and I think it’s fine to schedule an appointment for next month.
Hopefully, at that point, we might be able to tell if you’re having
a boy or girl.”

“
Thank you, Dr. Klein,” I
say, feeling as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders,
too.

“
Here’s a tissue,” the nurse
says, giving her a couple of Kleenex.

“
Thanks.” Skye takes them
and dabs at her skin.

“
Come out front when you’re
ready, and we’ll set up that appointment.” The nurse slips out,
Skye’s medical chart in hand.

Skye smiles as she starts
to get up. Sensing an opportunity for her clumsy streak, I take her
arm. “What’s so funny?”