Summer of Seventeen (23 page)

“You can’t see him,” he said. “Not just because Mom and Dad grounded him; he’s been pretty sick. That shit could have killed him.”

He was still staring at me. Maybe he was waiting for me to fall to my knees and confess my sins. He’d wait a long fucking time.

I folded my arms across my chest and stared back.

Patrick must have had enough of keeping his mouth shut, because he decided it was his turn.

“Listen you, little shit,” he shouted. “Stay away from my brother. You’re a fuckin’ coward, letting him take the fall like that.”

Out of all the Wallis brothers, the only one I couldn’t stand was Patrick. He made it so easy to hate him.

“You don’t know shit,” I said, walking away.

When I heard a car door slam behind me, I guessed what was coming.

Patrick swung at me as I was turning around, but his fist missed my face, thudding against my shoulder instead. It stung, but it would have been worse if he’d connected with my jaw. That would have meant game over.

But now he was off balance and he’d left himself wide open. I landed two solid punches into his gut.

He folded, stumbling backwards, almost tripping over his own feet. He looked shocked, surprised that I’d taken him down so easily.

Dylan was close behind, but instead of heading my way, he locked his arms around Patrick, hissing at his brother.

“Leave it! He’s not worth it.”

Patrick was cussing me out, calling me all kinds of shit, but Dylan hustled him back towards the car without saying another word to me. The car screeched off, burning rubber onto the boiling hot road.

I shook out my fists as they drove away, rubbing the knuckles and massaging my fingers.

It’s not like in the movies where the actors go around slugging it out. You hit someone with a fist, it fucking hurts.

My knuckles were red and I suspected they were going to start swelling. I probably needed to ice them.

I worked my fingers some more. At least nothing was sprained or broken. Hitting someone in the gut, you can pull muscles, or, if you’re really unlucky, get them at the wrong angle and break your wrist.

The worst is hitting someone in the face. Human saliva has more bacteria than a dog bite, and a friend of Aidan knew a guy who cut his knuckles on someone’s teeth, got an infection and had to have his hand amputated. True story.

I wished I’d hit Patrick on his nose, because that really hurts. Your nose swells up making it hard to breathe, and it bleeds like a mofo. But I would have got off on hearing his nose crunch. That’s the only bit Hollywood ever gets right.

The brief shot of pleasure at landing one on that self-righteous pile of crap didn’t last. Dylan’s car had disappeared in the direction of their house, so unless I wanted another confrontation O.K. Corral-style, I’d have to stay away from Sean. For now, at least.

Depressed, and with aching hands, I squatted on the ground, staring down at the roadside.

The dust in the gutter was a light brown that blossomed into the air every time a car passed.

I heard a couple of vehicles slow down as they approached me, but nobody stopped. Just another dumb kid sitting at the side of the road.
Stoned
, they would think.
Drunk at this time in the morning
. Or maybe,
Dangerous—call the cops
.

It was that last thought that made me drag myself upright; I really didn’t need another run in with Cocoa Beach’s finest.

I turned around and headed in the direction I’d come from. I wasn’t really looking for company, but I was sick of my own depressing thoughts.

So, I went to the pier.

Rob was there with some of the other guys, but I was more than surprised to see Marcus. With Camille.

He shot me an amused look, but didn’t speak. Camille said hi, and I muttered something unintelligible back.

I knew what Sean would have said,
The guy’s a legend
, and if it had been before I’d met Yansi, it probably wouldn’t have bothered me so much.

Nothing in life was black and white, but cheating didn’t seem like much of a gray area to me. But at the same time, ever since the night with Erin, the familiar prickle of guilt haunted me. Who the hell was I to judge anyone else?

“How’s Sean doing?” Rob asked, his eyes slightly unfocussed.

I could smell the weed before I’d walked over, so I wasn’t surprised.

“He’s out of the hospital. He’s okay, I guess, but his parents grounded him.”

There were mutters around the group, and then some trash-talking about Sean’s folks.

Nobody asked for more details, and the discussion moved to the batch of bad drugs that had been going around town. Rob said that two other kids had been hospitalized.

I could see the glances that were thrown my way. Even though these guys knew I didn’t deal, bad news spread like fungus.

When Rob tried to pass the blunt my way, I shook my head.

Instead, I walked down to the water’s edge and soaked my sore hands in the ripples at my feet. It helped. A bit.

I turned around to look at my friends, the people I hung out with, sitting in a loose circle on the sand. I missed Sean. Despite all his shit, he was the one person I could talk to. When he was sober.

Feeling more isolated among my friends than if I’d been alone, I flopped down onto the sand, a little away from the others, staring at the sullen gray waves that mirrored how I felt.

I must have been giving off serious keep-the-fuck-away vibes, because no one tried to talk to me. I wrapped my arms around my knees, and wondered what the fuck I was going to do now. Everything had gone to shit, in every possible direction.

I looked up when someone sat down next to me.

“Hey, Erin,” I said tiredly.

“Mind if I sit here.”

You already are.
I shook my head.

She pulled her knees to her chest, matching the way I was sitting. For nearly half a minute, neither of us spoke, but it was making me tense having her so close by. I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea. Again.

“Did you … are you back with Yansi?” she asked at last.

I let out a long sigh. Was I? I had no idea. Probably not. Not after this morning. I couldn’t imagine her parents letting her anywhere near me. Maybe when we were back in school…

I realized it must have looked like I was thinking about ignoring her, because Erin was still looking at me, waiting for a reply.

“Thanks,” I said. “For talking to her.”

Her lips curved upward in a tiny smile. “Yeah,” she said, with a low chuckle, “that was interesting.”

I couldn’t help smiling back at her. “I bet!”

Her smile slipped away. “So, you guys are good now?”

“We were, but…”

“But what?”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to Erin of all people about this, but I couldn’t talk to Sean. And Rob, hell he wouldn’t care even if he wasn’t stoned.

“Her parents won’t let her see me.”

“Wow, sucks,” she muttered. “Why?”

I shrugged. “They think what happened to Sean was my fault.” I laughed without any humor whatsoever. “They think I’m a freakin’ drug dealer.”

She took in a surprised breath.

“Jeez! That’s random. Why do they think that?”

I couldn’t help smiling at her again. So far she was the only person who
didn’t
think I’d given Sean the Molly.

“Because he’s my friend. Because we hang out.” And then I was hit by a deeper truth. “I guess because they’ve sort of been expecting something like that. For me to fuck up, I mean. They never wanted me to date her anyway.”

She nodded and raised her eyebrows. “Well, you are a guy.” She laughed coldly. “And you all want the same thing, right?”

I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t. I did want to sleep with Yansi. I wanted it really badly. But it wasn’t all I wanted. I just wanted
her
.

Erin’s accusing stare softened. “Except you. So maybe you’re not like that.”

“Yeah, I am,” I contradicted her, tired of pretending.

Erin shook her head. “No, you’re really not. Trust me on that.”

I frowned, but she carried on.

“Most guys are total horn dogs. All they want is fresh pussy, and as much of it as they can get. At least you want it with someone you care about.”

I glanced at her in surprise.

That summed it up pretty good.

She sighed and studied her fingernails. “I wish some guy cared about me like that.”

I twisted around to look at her—really look at her.

Erin had long tan legs, great tits, and her face would have been kind of pretty if it hadn’t been covered in all that gunk and those scary stuck-on eyelashes that reminded me of spiders. A lot of guys thought she was hot, but they also thought she was the school bike. I knew that wasn’t true exactly, but she’d been with a lot of guys. Including me.

“Erin, you’re a really nice person. What you did for me and Yans … you didn’t have to do that, and I know it couldn’t have been easy. You
will
find a guy to care about you, but you make it kind of hard when you do the stuff you do.”

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. I didn’t really talk that much, so she was probably shocked by the whole sentences as much as anything else.

She swallowed several times before she spoke.

“You think I’m nice?”

“Yeah.” I gave her a small smile. “And you’re pretty. All the guys think you’re hot. But that doesn’t mean you have to sleep with them.”

She looked down, and I could see that her eyes were filling with tears.

If it had been Yansi, I’d have pulled her into a hug and squeezed the shit out of her. But it wasn’t, so I sat there feeling as useful as tits on a bull, hoping she didn’t cry.

“Okay. Thanks, Nick.” Her voice was so quiet, I almost missed it. “Yansi’s really lucky.”

She gave me another small tentative smile, then stood up and walked away. I was left staring out at the waves by myself.

Suddenly lightning flashed across the sky.

“Whoa! Electric storm!” Rob yelled.

I realized that the clouds had gotten darker while I’d been sitting there, and I could see a squall line edging closer. Thunder rumbled and shuddered above us, and I found myself counting instinctively. Ten seconds: that meant the storm was only a couple of miles away.

We were all used to electric storms living where we did, and we knew that they could be dangerous, especially if you got caught out in the open.

The beach was clearing quickly, people hurrying back to their cars. Some of the guys decided to head out and I wondered about getting a ride with them, but as I didn’t have anything to go home for, I decided to stay. Besides, I liked watching the lightning, just so long as I wasn’t out in it. I could feel that strange sensation as electricity crackled across my skin, making the hairs on my arms stand up.

Sometimes I used to sit on the back porch with Mom; we’d stare up, and Mom called it ‘God’s free light show’.

A couple of minutes later the sky turned black. Thick, heavy drops of rain began to sheet down, turning the road into a river in seconds. I scrambled to my feet and ran to wait under the pier with everyone else.

We’d all seen the same thing a hundred times before, but we were silent, mesmerized as the ocean churned and the clouds hung low and hungry above us.

We stood staring into the rain, but after a few minutes Rob nudged my arm.

“You heard from our boy?”

I shook my head. “Not really. He got in one quick call, but his folks confiscated his cell and laptop.”

Rob blew out a circle of scented smoke. “Harsh.” Then he surprised me. “It might not be so bad—guy seriously needed to chill out.”

He was right; Sean was wound tighter than I’d ever seen him.

“He’s better when you’re around—less of the crazy. But you haven’t been around this summer.”

I bristled immediately. “Yeah? Well some of us have to fuckin’ work.”

He nodded sagely. “No judgment, bro, just saying how it is.” Then a puzzled expression drifted across his face. “It’s Monday.”

“Yeah, and…?”

“So how come you’re not at work?”

“Oh. I got fired.”

“Huh?”

“Fired. Canned. Let go. Services no longer fucking required!”

“Harsh,” he repeated, then passed the blunt.

Before I could take a hit, I realized Lacey was standing next to me.

“Have you seen Sean?” she asked.

She was biting her lip and looked upset.

“No, but I spoke to him. He’s okay.”

“Good,” she muttered, sounding distracted. “That’s good.” Then she looked around, as if embarrassed being seen talking to me. “Can you give him a message for me? He’s not answering his phone…”

“Yeah, his parents confiscated it because of … you know.”

She looked relieved. “Oh, I thought … never mind. Well, if you see him, can you say that … just tell him to call me, okay?”

I nodded and she walked back to her friends.

That was weird—maybe they’d gotten closer than I realized. Were they dating now?

Rob nudged me again.

“Your girl’s up there.”

I peered through the curtain of rain, my eyes following the raindrops hammering and bouncing onto the street. And then I saw her.

Yansi was standing shivering, soaked to the skin, her long black hair plastered across her face and shoulders.

She was here. She’d come to find me.

I dropped the blunt, ignoring Rob’s irritated shout, and was up and sprinting toward her. Lightning flashed again, closer now, and I shouted at her to move, but her eyes were still searching for me.

She jumped when the loud crack of thunder split the sky above our heads.

I almost crashed into her, wrapping my arms around her at the last minute then towing us toward the boardwalk where we could find shelter.

“Shit, Yans! What are you doing? You could have been fucking killed out there!”

“I had t-t-to see y-y-you,” she stuttered, pressing herself against me.

“You’re soaking wet,” I said, stating the obvious.

Her skin was cold too, so I rubbed my hands up and down her arms, trying to drive some warmth into them, but it wasn’t doing much good.

She needed to get inside and drink something hot. She also needed to get out of her soaked clothes, but that thought took my brain in a direction that wasn’t helpful.