Summer of Love (8 page)

‘Um, just rest your hand like… that, perfect. Great.’ With a deep breath, Alex lifted the camera and started to shoot, focusing on the light, the framing, the angle. They weren’t going to be his best-ever photos, he knew. Hopefully he could fix them later, once he had them on his computer.

For now, he just had to get through the tray of rings between them without succumbing to his desires.

He just had to remember that Lily was engaged to someone else. That those weren’t his rings on her finger. That he didn’t want Lily for his bride anyway. He was looking for the steady, supportive wife his father had wanted for him. Not the wild child best friend of his cousin.

Focus. That’s what he needed. ‘Right. Next ring.’

It took hours to get through all of them, but Alex couldn’t bring himself to stop. He wanted to see every single ring on her slim fingers. Wanted her to see how every one of them was a better match for her than the one Edward had picked.

As the afternoon light faded into evening, they reached the last ring, and he smiled at Lily as he reached in for it, not realizing she was doing the same thing. She sucked in a breath when their hands brushed against each other. Unfortunately, the sound was followed immediately by the clatter of the shop door opening.

‘Lily? Edward called, looking for you.’ The door swung shut behind Evelyn with a bang, and when Alex looked up he realized that Lily was already half the room away.

‘He did?’ She sounded flustered, although there was no reason to. They weren’t doing anything wrong, after all. Just taking some photos. Perfectly innocent.

So why did he feel so guilty?

‘He expected you home hours ago,’ Evelyn said, arms folded across her crisp white blouse. ‘I said I was coming out this way anyway, so I’d stop in and see what was keeping you.’ The look she shot at Alex made his skin feel like it might sizzle and burn.

‘Why were you heading out here?’ Lily asked, brow crinkled up, but her mother ignored the question.

‘Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?’

Alex stepped back from the table and stretched out a hand, which she ignored. ‘Alex Harper,’ he said, trying for his best charming smile. No effect. ‘Cora’s cousin.’

Evelyn’s smile could have frozen lakes, even in midsummer. ‘I remember you from the party. I wasn’t introduced then, either.’

‘Alex is taking some photos for me. Publicity shots. For a new catalogue.’ Lily’s words came out too fast, all on top of each other, and Alex lifted his camera to back up her story.

Evelyn ignored him. ‘Well, whatever it is you’re doing here, I suggest you finish up and get home, Lily. To your fiancé.’

Lily nodded, her face pale, and Alex felt an overwhelming need to rescue her, somehow. ‘I think we’re about done here anyway, aren’t we, Lily? I’ll just pack up, then I can email you the photos in the next day or so, if that’s okay?’

Lily nodded mechanically, and Evelyn turned to leave. They didn’t speak again as he packed up his equipment, and he wondered what it was, exactly, that made Lily so afraid. Sure, Evelyn was terrifying, but Lily was twenty-six now. Surely she’d got past being scared of her mother? Hell, she hadn’t been that scared of her at sixteen.

As he watched her lock up her shop and hurry home to a man who didn’t really know her, Alex wondered again whose life Lily thought she was living. And what had happened to change her.

Chapter Five

There was no logical reason for her to be rattled by her mother’s visit, Lily knew that. All the same, she couldn’t help but feel she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t. And even though she knew she should spend the drive back to the cottage practicing her apology to Edward for being late home for dinner, her mind insisted on replaying the afternoon’s photo shoot instead.

Alex was good at his new chosen profession. He’d had a nice mix of styles – some with the jewellery being worn, some displayed, some close-ups, some groups. Plenty for her to choose from, anyway.

And the way he’d done it, with such care, as if her designs were the most important thing in his world, at that moment. No one had ever given her work that sort of attention before. Made her feel like a real designer, rather than just a girl making pocket change from her hobby in an old water mill.

Alex made her feel that her dreams were valid and important – perhaps because he needed the same from her. Whatever it was, she wished Edward would develop some of the same ability.

Edward’s car sat neatly parked outside their cottage when she pulled into the driveway. She glanced at the dashboard clock. How had it got to be eight p.m. already? Surely Alex had only arrived a couple of hours ago. Her stomach rumbled. They’d stopped for a quick lunch around one, she remembered, but had nothing since. No wonder she was hungry, and Edward so cross. Maybe she could persuade him that they should have tea at the pub, instead of cooking. Turn a potential argument into a treat. Sweeten the evening before it turned too sour.

But as soon as she opened the door, Lily realized that wasn’t going to be an option.

‘Where have you been? I’ve been calling for hours!’ Edward sounded worried, rather than angry. He always did. Sometimes she wanted him to yell at her, just so she could yell back. How could you argue with someone who never got angry?

Suddenly unbearably weary, Lily dropped her bag onto the chair by the door and tried for an apologetic smile. ‘Sorry, we got a bit carried away with the photo shoot.’

Edward’s forehead crinkled up. ‘Photo shoot? What photo shoot? And why weren’t you answering your phone?’

Had she really not told him about Alex coming to photograph her stock? Apparently not. And really, when could she? All they’d talked about for days was the wedding, and he hadn’t even seemed to listen to her opinions on that. ‘Sorry, Mum said you’d tried to call. My phone was in my bag in the studio. I mustn’t have heard it.’ Or been too distracted by Alex’s company to even listen for it. She fished inside her bag and pulled it out. Yep, eight missed calls. ‘And the photo thing – Alex Harper offered to take some shots of my jewellery to use in my next lot of promo materials.’

Now Edward looked even more confused. ‘But why are you bothering with new promotional stuff?’

‘Because it helps me sell my designs?’ Lily returned his baffled stare with one of her own. ‘Because my shop matters to me and I want it to be a success?’

Edward reached out to take her hand. ‘Of course you do, sweetheart. But really, with the wedding to plan, not to mention starting a family… Do you really think you’re going to have time to keep up the shop? I was thinking that maybe you could look at just selling your designs online. Less overheads would give you more flexibility…’

Lily flinched at the words, a heavy weight pressing against her chest as all the things they hadn’t talked about crashed against her. A family? They’d barely even talked about kids. Let alone her giving up the shop… She looked up at Edward through new eyes. In the dimly lit hallway of their little cottage, he looked utterly unfamiliar. A stranger, almost. Someone she barely knew.

‘Edward. We need to –’

‘Where’s your ring?’ His fingers tightened around hers and Lily looked down to see her bare ring finger.

‘I was… Alex had me trying on rings, for the photos. I must have forgotten to put it back on. It must still be on the windowsill at the shop.’ And she hadn’t noticed, maybe wouldn’t have at all if Edward hadn’t pointed it out. Wearing the ring still felt unnatural. Wrong.

I have to end this
, she realized, cold, hard fear settling around her heart.
I can’t marry him
.

Suddenly, it didn’t matter that they’d had seven years together, that she’d grown up with this man. Didn’t matter that she’d loved him, changed for him, let him into her life. Didn’t matter that he loved her too, had tried to give her everything she was supposed to want, to give them the life he felt they were supposed to be living.

All Lily knew was that if she married Edward, if she tied herself to him – especially if they had kids – she was risking locking herself into a life that could make them both miserable for the next fifty years. And she just couldn’t do that.

‘Give me the shop keys and I’ll go and get it.’ Edward held out his hand, rolling his eyes in fond exasperation.

Lily shook her head, images of the future she was giving up whirling around in a cyclone. ‘I’ll get it in the morning. Don’t worry.’

‘We’ve got Terry and Mabel’s wedding in the morning, remember? You won’t have time.’ Of course, Edward’s cheapskate cousin’s wedding. Held on a Wednesday, because it cost least, and at ten in the morning so they only had to serve people croissants. Lily wouldn’t have minded, but every item on their gift list had cost more than a hundred pounds.

She handed over the keys, her mind still swirling with the knowledge that she was going to end the relationship that had formed her adult life, her adult self. She looked inside her for the spark of pain and love that would tell her this was a mistake, that she’d always felt before at the thought of losing Edward. But all she found was a dull ache, a remembered pain. A deep chasm of loss, yes – but for the sake of their shared past, not their future.

How had this happened? And when? When had she fallen out of love with her own fiancé? It didn’t feel sudden. Instead, it felt like it must have happened so gradually, a slow inching apart, that she barely even noticed the distance between them growing until she looked back and realized it spanned miles.

How could they have been so close, living together, seeing each other every day, but still been so far apart? She tried to remember the last time they’d talked about their hopes and their dreams. Maybe when she first started working with Max on making the Mill a viable concern. That was… four years ago now. Four years without a real conversation about where they were going. Maybe she shouldn’t blame Edward for assuming she wanted the same things he did; she’d never told him otherwise, after all.

But now… As Edward banged the door shut behind him, off on a mission to retrieve a ring Lily realized she never wanted to wear again, she spoke softly into the gloomy hallway, her cheeks wet with tears. ‘I’m sorry, Edward. I can’t marry you.’

The words felt good. Honest. Real. They felt like Lily again, even if they hurt.

Now she just had to find the courage to say them to his face.

* * * *

Cora was waiting at the kitchen window when Alex pulled up at the cottage, but it was Rhys who opened the door.

‘You’re in trouble, mate,’ he said, pressing a glass of wine into Alex’s hand. ‘You’re just lucky she’s making pasta.’

‘In my defence,’ Alex said, ‘I was working. And helping out her friend.’ Although given how scared Lily had looked when she’d left, he wasn’t sure how much of a help he’d really been.

‘Yeah? Well, save the story for the dinner table. You’ll need it to get back in her good books.’ Rhys ushered him down the hallway.

‘I’m sorry I’m late,’ Alex said, as soon as he stepped foot in the kitchen. ‘I got tied up at work.’

‘That excuse is less valid now you’re self-employed, you know,’ Cora replied. ‘I’m just putting the pasta on now. Lucky for you the sauce isn’t ruined.’

‘I’m sure it’ll be delicious.’

Cora’s face grew a little less stern. ‘Go sit at the table.’

How was it, Alex wondered, that he always felt like a small boy around his younger cousin?

Ten minutes later, once she’d ensured that everyone had wine, pasta and salad in appropriate quantities, Cora turned her gaze on Alex with a determined look that reminded him of his mother.

‘So. What were you working on that made you so late?’

Alex took a breath. He had to tell her. He’d planned on taking it slower, easing people into the idea, once they saw that he could make a viable living. But things were moving too fast. If he got the space at the Mill, it would be all over town in moments. And Cora deserved to know first.

‘I was with Lily,’ he started, but didn’t get the chance to go any further.

Cora dropped her fork to her bowl and scowled at him. ‘Alex. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m telling you now. Leave my friend alone. She’s engaged to be married, if you hadn’t noticed. And this isn’t the City, with a pool of willing women, just waiting for their chance with you.’

Alex blinked at her in surprise. ‘Working, Cora. Working with Lily.’

She brandished a piece of garlic bread at him. ‘Nice try. But I happen to know that Edward does her accounts. She doesn’t need you, and you don’t need to start falling back into bad habits. I know you, Alex. You can barely talk to a woman without flirting. You say you want to settle down here, fine. Then find someone who isn’t engaged to have lunch with.’

Cora’s lack of faith in him stung, and he could feel his temper rising, hot in his chest. Did she really think he’d moved all the way back here just to keep living his old life? He’d told her he wanted something new, something different for his future. But apparently she hadn’t believed him.

‘I wasn’t doing her accounts,’ he said, the words coming out clipped. ‘I was photographing her stock for a new catalogue.’

‘You were… what?’ Cora blinked at him, her confusion so obvious that he felt some of his frustration and anger bleeding away.

Alex sighed. ‘Remember when I said I had some other plans, besides the accounting, now I’m here in Felinfach. This is one of them.’

‘Photography?’ Rhys asked. ‘Sounds fun.’

‘It is. And I’m good at it.’ At least, he hoped he was. ‘I’ve been taking courses for years, and decided to take the plunge when I moved here. I’ll be doing it alongside the accounting, at least to start with. But Lily got me a meeting with Max, up at the Mill, and I’m putting together a portfolio to present to the collective there. See if they’ll let me in to rent the empty studio space.’

‘That’s why you had lunch with Lily yesterday,’ Cora said, eyes wide. ‘I thought…’

‘I think we all know what you thought, dear.’ Rhys covered her hand with one of his own.

‘Well, can you blame me? Given his reputation?’ She pulled a face. ‘Sorry, Alex.’