Summer of Love (28 page)

Smiling to herself, Lily drew her attention back to the main event – but found her gaze caught on something else first. In the front row of the bride’s side sat Alex, his charcoal grey suit sitting perfectly over his wide shoulders, his mouth tilted in a half smile as he watched Cora and Rhys. But as she stared, he looked up, and suddenly his gaze met hers and Lily couldn’t even bring herself to look away.

What if I was willing to take that risk?
His words echoed around her head, and Lily knew they always would, if she didn’t do something about it. He wanted the real deal, and he was willing to take a chance on her, even knowing how she felt about marriage, even after she’d run away from him so many times before, emotionally and physically.

He’d agreed to friends but Lily knew, staring into his eyes across the church, that friends would never be all he wanted. It would never be enough, for either of them.

She loved him. She knew that now. And maybe she’d never believed before that love was worth giving up yourself for, but who was she going to be without it? What was the point of being free to be whoever she wanted if she didn’t get to share that Lily with the person she loved?

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe she could have the sort of love Cora and Rhys had. The sort that Alex wanted so badly.

Lily bit her lip and hoped.

* * * *

The day was nearly over, and Alex still hadn’t had a chance to talk to Lily. She’d been with Cora all morning, and after the service she’d been whisked away for photos before he even got close. He’d stood outside the church watching her pose and smile and laugh and remembered her gaze burning into his during the service.

He loved her. And whether that scared her or not, he had to tell her again. Had to try one more time to convince her. Whatever it took.

But then it was time for dinner, with Lily sitting at the top table, grinning at whatever Rhys’s best man was gabbing on about, while Alex got stuck with Cora’s old university friends. Now the dancing was about to start, and he still hadn’t managed to grab even a few moments alone with Lily.

He watched, trying to stamp down any growing jealousy, as Lily danced with the best man for the first dance, and bit back a growl of annoyance as Cora’s father stole the next one.

‘Stop glaring at my guests and dance with me,’ Cora said, whipping her white skirt around her ankles as she paused beside him.

Maybe if he was on the dance floor, he’d stand a better chance of grabbing Lily for the next dance before anyone else did. ‘I’d love to.’

‘So, do I surmise that you haven’t had a chance to talk to Lily yet?’ Cora asked as he led her out onto the floor.

‘Whatever gave it away?’

‘Mostly the glowering.’

Alex sighed. ‘Maybe this isn’t the day to do it.’

‘Are you kidding? It’s the perfect day. She’s never going to be more in favour of love than she is today, after my magnificent wedding.’ She pulled back a little in his arms to give him a look. ‘I assume that’s what you want to talk to her about? You’ve given up on this friends nonsense, right?’

Almost without realizing he was doing it, Alex stole another glance at Lily, who was smiling up at Uncle Richard as they danced. ‘That depends on what she wants. Anyway, I thought I wasn’t good enough for your friend.’

Cora rolled her eyes. ‘You know it wasn’t that. You’re both two of my very favourite people, and I want to see you happy, that’s all. So, do I throw the bouquet at her or not?’

‘I don’t know.’ He knew what he wanted – had known for weeks, if he was honest. But was it what would make Lily happy? He was pretty sure she loved him, but was that enough? He’d made the mistake of assuming he knew what she really wanted before, and look how that had ended. ‘You’re her best friend. What do I do?’

Cora stopped dancing, and Alex almost tripped over her feet. ‘She wants you, Alex. I know she does. She just doesn’t want to lose herself again in the process.’

‘I’d never do that to her.’ The music ended, and around them, people started pulling away and moving out towards the bar, or the tables.

‘So go convince her of that.’ Cora gave him a little push in the direction where Lily had been, but he couldn’t see her. Dammit! Was he destined to spend this entire wedding missing her?

‘Did you see where –’ he started, but Cora was already pointing towards the terrace doors.

‘Alex?’ she called as he walked away. He turned back, and she smiled. ‘I’ve never seen her so much herself as when she was with you.’

And that, Alex thought as he pushed through the throng of guests to get to the terrace doors, was all he really needed to know.

* * * *

The terrace was cooler than the ballroom, and less crowded, but Lily found the moment she stepped onto it she couldn’t stop thinking about the smaller, more private terrace at the Avalon Inn. The one where Alex hadn’t quite kissed her.

Looked like this would be another wedding when Alex didn’t kiss her. In fact, he’d not even spoken to her all afternoon. Not that there had been much of a chance. Today was Cora’s day, after all, and Rhys’s. It wasn’t about them.

Unfortunately.

But then the terrace doors opened, and when Lily turned, Alex stood there, staring at her, as if he couldn’t believe he’d finally found her. Lily knew just how he felt.

‘Cora wants to know if she should aim her bouquet at you,’ Alex said.

Lily blinked at him, and moved to lean against the terrace wall. ‘Is that your way of asking something else?’

Alex let the terrace doors close behind him and moved closer. ‘Just passing on a message.’

‘Good. Because that would be the least romantic proposal ever.’ Which in no way explained why she felt a slight dip of disappointment.

‘But now I have your attention…’ Lily’s eyes widened as Alex dropped to one knee, smiling up at her. ‘Don’t panic,’ he said, taking her hand, but Lily had no control over the way her heart was pounding. He couldn’t be doing this, could he?
Maybe
she’d started to think that
maybe
love wouldn’t be so awful, but this was a hell of a jump!

‘Lily,’ Alex said, and she tried to focus on him and calm her heart rate. ‘I know you don’t want marriage. That you’re still not sure about love. I know that you don’t want a forever that will make you something you’re not. So I’m not down here to ask you to marry me. I want to ask you something else.’

Lily swallowed. Was this better or worse? ‘What do you want to ask?’

‘I want to ask you to be in my life, always. However you choose.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘I love you, exactly the way you are, and every way you are. And maybe it wasn’t what I thought I was looking for, but you’re what I need. I don’t want to change you, but I know I’ll keep right on loving you whatever changes come into our lives, and whoever you decide to become. And I’ll take you anyway I can have you, even if it means we’re only ever friends.’

Her head felt like it might float away. This wasn’t just taking a risk on her. This was giving up everything he’d thought he wanted, just to be with her. This was
everything
.

And if he could take that chance… so could she. This was who she needed to be. Courageous enough to go after her own happiness, and loving enough to give others what they needed to be happy too. Maybe that was all she needed to hold onto.

‘I don’t… I don’t think we can just be friends, really,’ she said.

Alex tilted his head to one side. ‘Another fling, then?’

Lily shook her head. ‘No. Cora was right. That was never going to work.’ Tugging on his hand, she pulled him up to his feet. ‘What I mean is,’ she said, as clearly as she could, looking up into his eyes, ‘I can’t just be a fling for you. I want something more.’

He pulled away from her then, just a little, standing stock-still before her. ‘Really? You?’

Lily gave him a rueful smile. ‘I know. And I’m not saying we should get married tomorrow, or anything. It’s just…’

‘You want to give us a real chance.’ Alex’s face broke into a grin.

‘If you do.’

He darted forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, and Lily squeaked a little as her feet left the ground. ‘Of course I do. Even if this isn’t forever, I know I’d regret not giving it a chance. I don’t want the obligatory, perfect marriage I came home for. That’s never what it was about – it was about having someone who made my world brighter, better. Who made everything possible. It took me a while, but I finally figured out what I need.’ He kissed her lightly. ‘Just you.’

Lily felt like all her insides were lighting up. ‘Me too. I don’t want to stop growing, changing, just because I’m a wife or mother. But I do want to find out what sort of person I’m meant to be, how great I can be, with you at my side.’ She smiled, as she realized the truth of it. ‘I’m only myself when I’m with you.’

‘So we’re decided then,’ Alex said, holding her tight against his chest. ‘We extend the fling indefinitely.’

She smiled against his shirt. ‘Exactly. No obligations, no expectations, no conventions and so forth. Just us, together.’

‘Perfect.’ He kissed the top of her head. ‘One thing, though. Do you think, eventually, when it feels right, we might be able to get some sort of jewellery made to commemorate the fling? Rings, perhaps?’

‘Maybe,’ Lily allowed. ‘If it feels right.’

‘Great. Any idea where we might be able to buy such a thing around here?’

Lily smacked him on the arm, then kissed him, long and hard, to make up for it.

CARINA™

ISBN: 978 1 472 09645 6

Summer of Love

Copyright © 2014 Sophie Pembroke

Published in Great Britain (2014)

by Carina, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited, Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR

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