Summer by the Sea (6 page)

It was good for Jake that he’d left when he had. Faith was sure he didn’t need a ninety-year-old renter telling him what improvements to make. It wasn’t hers to change, and that fact settled heavy in Faith’s chest. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t their cottage.

Nan was never worried about offering her opinion. The good thing about that was that one never had to guess what she was thinking. She’d be more than happy to let everyone know—good or bad. She’d made sure to tell Faith what she thought about her attending college so far away, and she’d let them know when she thought they were being obtuse about the whole Scott issue. Nan didn’t approve of Casey’s behavior—she’d told them both that—but she was determined not to let anything come between the sisters. She’d demanded that Faith come to visit them when Casey had been in town staying with her mother. She looked to find ways to get Faith to drop in, but Faith had conveniently made excuses until the day Casey left to go back to Boston.

“Faith,” she’d said afterwards, that day, “you have to let it go.” It had been easier said than done back then. All her life, Casey had been the center of attention, always getting what she wanted, and Faith had sat in her shadow. Faith hadn’t wanted to be around her sister, but as their separation increased, she realized how much she missed Casey. She could see now just how right her grandmother had been. If only she’d listened and tried sooner. Well, she was going to try now.

“You know, your grandfather didn’t like me to drink alcohol. He said it wasn’t ladylike.”

“And what did
you
think?”

“I told him that a lady is a lady whether she’s having a drink or not, and how she handles herself is an expression of the type of person she is.”

“What did he say to that?”

“He smiled and shook his head at me. He knew I was right.” She winked at Faith. “But I still never had a drink in front of him.”

“Why?”

“Respect. I loved him. He didn’t like to see me having a drink, clearly. So, I didn’t bother. I respected his wishes.”

“Why are you having one now?” She knew her grandmother’s loyalty to her grandfather, so she was quite curious to hear the answer.

“I figured I’d better, if I want one, because in no time at all I’ll be looking for John, and, once I find him, I won’t be thinking about this drink anymore.” She offered a devious smile.

Faith laughed. She longed to have someone in her life that she loved that much. The type of love Nan had for her grandfather seemed unattainable. Faith had had relationships in the past, but she just didn’t feel like she’d loved anyone like Nan had loved her husband. Scott had been the first of the relationships she’d had that had actually meant something to her, but it was nothing like what Nan seemed to have had. At the time, she’d thought she loved Scott in this way, but once she met Patrick, she realized she’d been wrong. Patrick had been kind, considerate and Faith had cared for him, but she hadn’t wanted to give up her career for him. She’d been heartbroken when their relationship had ended, but now, looking back, she realized that she’d often had to work hard just to make things run smoothly between them. Had Nan had these types of problems with John? If she had, she’d never mentioned them. It made Faith wonder if, perhaps, the problem wasn’t finding the time, it was finding the right person. Maybe one day she’d find someone who would make her so crazy in love that she wouldn’t think about anything else.

“I’m glad I did this,” Nan said, rocking a little in her chair. Faith watched Nan’s eyes as she followed a seagull through the sky. It looked black against the orange sunlight. For the first time, Faith thought about how her grandmother must have felt losing the cottage. It had been a big part of her life too. What memories did she have of her visits? Had she been there with Faith’s grandfather? The drive had been tough on her—she’d said so. Her legs and ankles were swollen from sitting so long in the car. She could barely make it up all the stairs once she arrived. Faith was sure she was sore and tired just from the journey. But she’d wanted to come. She’d planned it. And now, she sat, drinking a margarita, on the same plot of land she’d run on as a kid. Originally, Faith didn’t understand why she’d put herself through it at ninety years old. But now she did. This might be the last time Nan got to visit this place. A sinking feeling hit Faith in the gut as she thought about life without Nan. She didn’t even want to contemplate that, but there was no escaping the fact that she wouldn’t be around forever. Suddenly, all the drama with Casey seemed a little silly when faced with that.

“I’m glad you did this too,” she said as she put her hand on top of Nan’s.

Her mom poked her head out the door. “Y’all seen Casey? Is she out here?”

They both shook their heads.

“Maybe she went out to the car or something. There’s no telling. Anyone want more drinks or are we finished for the night?”

“I’m finished, thank you,” Faith said. “Nan?” She looked over at her grandmother, chewing on a smile. She had such a young spirit. It was easy to forget that she was ninety, but being with her now, Faith could see some differences in Nan. She was slower, more hesitant. At heart, though, she was the same fiery woman. It was so good to be with her again.

“I’ve got enough right here,” she said.

When her mom went back inside, Faith noticed Casey down on the beach. “Mind if I leave you now?” she asked, nodding toward her sister. Nan followed her gaze, thoughts clearly behind her eyes. She nodded with a pleasant smile.

“But before you go,” Nan said as she stood up. Faith stopped and turned toward her. “I don’t know what’s bothering Casey—she hasn’t told me—but you two need to talk it out. Life’s too short to tuck important conversations in your pocket for later. You just never know. I had an argument with my sister, Clara. You never met her. We didn’t straighten things out, and now it’s too late.”

Faith started to sit back down, ready to hear about this mystery sister of Nan’s, but Nan stopped her. “No, no,” she said, waving her hand. “Don’t bother with me and my old stories. Go check on Casey. It looks like she may need someone to talk to.”

Perhaps it was a story for another time. Faith walked around the corner and headed down the steps. At the bottom, she kicked her flip-flops off and put her toes in the warm sand. It was soft—like powder—under her feet. She padded along the narrow path, through the sea grass, over the dune leading to the beach. It was late afternoon, and the sand, having absorbed the day’s heat, burned her feet a little as she made her way across the vast shoreline to reach Casey. Her sister was at the water’s edge, barefoot, standing in the waves as the foam crawled across the sand before sliding back out to sea. The wind blew Faith’s hair into her face, her T-shirt rippling under its force. She pushed her hair back and held it at the base of her neck as she stepped up next to her sister.

“Whacha doin’?” she asked Casey the same way she had as a girl. Faith drew a line in the sand with her brightly painted toes and watched it disappear as the tide erased it.

“Just thinking. Trying to clear my head.”

The waves were rough, pushing gritty sand around Faith’s feet and she had to move them around to keep them from getting buried. As a child, the waves had scared Faith when they were this big. She’d worried they were giant, gray creatures rolling on their sides. Each one slammed the shore in an eruption of white, bubbly foam then fanned out along the ground like spilled milk. Faith took in a big gulp of the salty air. The smell of it took her right back to her childhood. So many memories were colliding in her mind that she had trouble sorting out which one to let float to her consciousness. Roasting marshmallows, her mom squirting chocolate sauce on them just to make the girls giggle; eating sandwiches with wet, sandy hands; a rainbow of brightly colored beach towels on the line outside; shopping at the local kite store for the perfect kite and flying it—just the three of them at Jockey’s Ridge—the wind so strong, Faith could hardly hold on to it…

“I’m glad I came,” Casey said, pulling her back to reality. “I wasn’t going to.”

Faith turned to her sister, waiting for further explanation. She, herself had been worried about coming, self-conscious about her decision to stay away from her sister for all of that time, but it had never occurred to her that Casey may be anxious about coming too. For the first time, she realized that perhaps seeing Faith again wasn’t easy for Casey either.

It was clear to Faith by Casey’s silence over the years that she didn’t feel what she’d done was so awful—she had tried to explain it to Faith a few times—but Faith had always her short, not wanting to hear Casey’s side of things. How could what Casey had done ever be right? But now, as she looked at her sister, the age lines starting to show around her eyes, she realized that she’d been too stubborn. She should have at least heard her sister out. What would Casey have said? Would she have asked for forgiveness? Would she have told her she wanted her sister back? Perhaps she should have talked to her instead of holding on to old grudges.

“Why weren’t you going to come?” she asked. Faith was ready to hear her side of things now.

“I didn’t want my situation to bring everyone down. This is Nan’s time. It’s her birthday. I want her to be happy. I told Mom and Nan that Scott was working when I arrived without him. It’s the truth. Well, half-truth. I didn’t know if it was the right time to tell them…”

How silly of Faith to think that Casey had been worried about seeing her again. Faith acknowledged that Casey’s impending divorce from Scott was awful, and it might upset Mom and Nan, but what about the fact that she and Casey hadn’t spoken in years? What about that? Faith let out a huff of indignation loud enough to make Casey turn her head.

“What was that for?” Casey said, a twinge of panic on her face. Were Faith’s feelings not even in the forefront of her mind? Faith could feel the ache in her throat, the unsaid feelings still right there on the end of her tongue, but she took in a breath and turned to face the wind.

“What’s wrong with you?” Casey said, her words coming out urgently as if she were preparing for a blow, for some sort of confrontation. She knew just as well what was wrong, but she wasn’t going to say it, was she?

Well, Faith wasn’t staying quiet anymore. She could feel the anger from Casey’s selfishness swelling in her chest, and it had to come out. “Weren’t you worried at all about dealing with this?” She wagged her finger between them, noticing the tremble in her hands from built up anger. She wasn’t trying to play down the divorce—that was a big deal—but this was a big deal too. Even with their differences, Casey had been Faith’s best friend growing up, the one person she knew better than anyone else. And Casey had just let her walk away.

“Of course I was. I just didn’t want to bring up old wounds. I just want to move past it,” she said, her words coming out controlled and even, like they would in a courtroom. There was a moment as Casey looked at her when her strong expression faltered. Without warning, tears surfaced in her eyes, but she blinked to clear them and then they were gone.

With all her childhood memories at this beach right on the surface, it occurred to Faith that the reason this was such a lovely place was because they’d had
fun
here. That’s why she and Casey had been so close. No matter what had happened in the past, Casey needed her now. She’d have to be the bigger person here. Faith hadn’t let Casey explain herself because she didn’t want to hear Casey’s lame excuse for hurting her. She didn’t want an excuse then, and she didn’t want one now. She simply wanted an apology, an acknowledgment that Casey had hurt her. And if she ever wanted to hear that, she couldn’t put Casey in a position where she felt defensive. The only way to feel close again was to try to enjoy themselves.

“I haven’t ever let you explain, and I’m sorry. So I have an idea,” Faith said, turning the conversation in a totally different direction. It was time for her to take charge for once. She’d never done it before with Casey, but she’d learned to be strong. She knew she could. She’d always followed Casey’s lead, but right now, it seemed like, even though Faith had her own trust issues to deal with regarding Casey, they were in the past. Casey was losing a husband and the father to her daughter. “We’re on vacation. For two weeks. Let’s
act
like we’re on vacation. Leave all the baggage behind—the past, work, Scott. I will if you will.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Why? Look at this place. It’s amazing! It’s just like what we had as children. Let’s give that to Isabella. Let’s take it back for ourselves. We’ll deal with the rest in two weeks.” She stood still and looked at her sister.

Casey’s face showed contemplation. Then, a small smile emerged. “You’re right,” she said, nodding. Despite her agreement, she was clearly still thinking it over. But, one thing Faith knew about her sister was that when faced with the half-empty, half-full conundrum, Casey always chose half full. “Okay!” She laughed then, and unexpectedly, her laughter sent prickles of excitement up Faith’s arms. She hadn’t heard Casey’s laugh in so many years. It took until that moment to realize how much she’d missed it.

FOUR

Tap, tap, tap
.

The hum of the paddle fan floated into Faith’s consciousness.

Tap, tap, tap
.

Was there something wrong with the fan? The tapping came and went, but each time, it was the same—three taps and then silence. Faith rubbed her face to get enough focus to look at the clock. She blinked to try and see the numbers.

Tap, tap, tap
.

Nine in the morning! She hadn’t slept that long in ages. She threw the covers off her legs, her silky shorts and camisole cool against her skin, and walked over to the window. She pulled back the sheer, gauzy fabric, the only barrier between her and the sun. Before she could focus on the view, she jumped with fright.

“Oh!” she cried, dropping the curtain and covering her mouth. She stood there for a moment, collecting herself.

Tap, tap, tap
.