Sue (26 page)

“I have a pretty good idea. I’ve read
your journal.”

“The thoughts I’m talking about, I
didn’t write down. At least not in the notebook I bring to my appointments.”
Sue gave her a shaky smile.

“I read between the lines a bit.”
Dr. Camden returned her smile,
then
grew serious.
“Life is all about adapting. An emotionally charged event such as this almost
demands modification to your outlook, a recalibration of sorts. You don’t have
to deny yourself a period of mourning. In fact, it’s necessary to grieve. But,
it’s soon going to be time to make some decisions, decisions about moving your
life forward. This is something you are entirely capable of doing, Sue. Zeke’s
death, even with its attendant distress, provides an excellent starting point.”

Sue nodded thoughtfully, but didn’t
answer for a moment. Dr. Camden was sterner than she’d been before. At one
time, Sue would have been crushed by this firm approach. Today, it made her
feel stronger, more secure. It nudged her away from the feeling of dread and
gave her permission to seek happiness again.

Sue opened up. “Imagining his body
all burned up is horrifying to me. I loved that body so much.
Every part of it.
It’s weird but a part of me hopes he
didn’t suffer. Another part of me thinks he deserved any pain he got. Still,
it’s ghastly.”

“I agree.
A
terrible way to go.”

“The one who died with him,” Sue
continued, “I figure she was just like me. Some naive, gullible
girl
who fell for his lies, went along with him. Probably
didn’t realize what she was getting into until it was too late.”

“He was probably following his
established pattern.”

Sue vented a little more,
dispelling some of her angst and Dr. Camden listened before eventually turning
the discussion in a positive direction once again. “You’re free now, Sue. Free
to design your future and live without fear. Think about how you want your life
to be from now on.”

Those words kindled hope in Sue. By
the time the appointment was over, her head buzzed with new thoughts.

The doctor scheduled a few extra
appointments to tide her over this current crisis, a consideration for which
Sue was grateful.

As she walked to her car she turned
on her phone and checked for calls. She had two voice mails from Melvin and a
text message. With a stab of guilt, Sue returned his call. She wedged the phone
against her ear with her shoulder as she unlocked the door and slid behind the
steering wheel.

“Sue! Thank God. I was starting to
get really worried about you.”

“I’m okay, Melvin. I just got out
of a doctor’s appointment. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. I just
needed a little time.”

Melvin’s silence spoke volumes.
Unasked questions hung in the air like shadows.

Sue hurried to add, “I don’t know
what your schedule is like, but I called in sick to work today. I think I’m
going to go home and take a nap right now; I didn’t sleep well last night. But,
look, I know we’ve got some talking to do. Would you want to get together
later?”

“I wish I could see you right now.”

“Don’t you have class?”

“All day long,
but to hell with the seminar.
This is more important.” His voice was
controlled, but carried an undertone of hurt. “Sue, I didn’t expect you to
react this way. I don’t understand. You’re glad he’s gone, aren’t you?”

Sue shuddered as an unexpected
chill traveled through her body. “It’s complicated, Melvin. But, yes. The
greater part of me is very relieved.”

“Will told me I should give you
some space, but it’s hard. I don’t want space from you.”

Sue chuckled softly. “I don’t need
a lot of space. Right now, I just need a little rest. I don’t track well when
I’m sleep deprived. You should go ahead with your seminar and come over later.
Everything’s going to be fine. I promise.”

“Okay.” He sounded relieved. “I’ll
be out by five. Want me to pick up some burgers on my way?”

“That sounds good. I’ll see you
then.” She buckled her seat belt.
“And Melvin?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t worry, okay? I mean it.”

A short pause.
“I’ll see you later.”

Sue drove home, fighting fatigue.
Once there, she crawled under the blankets and fell into a deep sleep. She woke
around four that afternoon and lay still for a moment, staring up at the
ceiling. The pain in her heart had softened to a dull ache.

In the bathroom, she took a long
look in the mirror. “Yuk.” She ran a brush through her disheveled hair and then
pulled it back in a tidy braid. After washing her face, she applied a little
makeup. There was no sense in creating more worry for Melvin with her
appearance.

When he arrived, she took the food
sacks from his hands and set them aside before melting into his arms. He embraced
her then pulled back to search her face. She forced her lips into a small
smile.

“I’m really happy to see you,
Melvin,” she said, and meant it.

He pulled her close once again.
“I’m damned happy to see you!”

They hugged for a few minutes and
then separated. “Why don’t you set the food out on the table?” Sue suggested.
“I’ll get a couple of sodas and we can eat. After that, I want to show you
something.”

“Did you get a nap?” Melvin took a
bite and watched her carefully as he chewed.

“Ye.
A good long one.
And I feel much better.” She took a sip of
her drink and changed the subject. “How was school today?”

Melvin brightened. “It was good.
The instructor staged a mock trial and called up students to act as witnesses.
He gave each of us a brief description of a crime scene. We had five minutes to
read it over; then we had to answer questions about it. You’d be surprised how
different the answers were, even though we were all given the exact same page
to read.”

Their meal passed pleasantly. Once
finished, though, things turned serious.

Sue began the discussion by
plunging in. “I know you’re worried that I still have feelings for Zeke and
you’re thinking that’s why his death hit me so hard.” She put up a hand to stop
Melvin from interrupting. “I’ll admit to some confusion about my feelings, but
there’s more to it.
So much more.
Wait here.”

Sue left the room and returned with
her notes and the file on missing women. As she spread it out before Melvin on
the coffee table, his eyes widened.

“These are reports on murders and
on missing women. I’ve been tracking them since I came home from the hospital.”

Melvin glanced through the contents
of the file. “I’m familiar with most of this. Will has a file just like this in
his desk.”

Sue looked at him in surprise. “He
does?”

“I told you he hadn’t given up on
catching Zeke.”

Sue frowned. “Are my parents paying
him for that?”

“Oh, no.
This is something he did on his own. You know, Zeke got under his skin. He
really despised that guy. Wanted so bad to bust him, bring him down.” He looked
at the typed sheets of her notes and observations. “These are meticulous, Sue,
really well-written.
Pretty impressive.”

“Well, personal issues aside, I
found that I enjoyed the research part of it more than I thought I might. I
also liked organizing the material, writing the notes. But it goes deeper than
that, Melvin. I’m going to make a confession to you right now.” He turned his
eyes from the file and fastened them on hers. She had his full attention. “I
was tracking these things for a reason. I thought they’d lead me to Zeke. I had
a plan, a very secret one.”

“What kind of plan?” His shoulders
hunched slightly, as if expecting bad news. “Were you going to go back to him?”

“What? No! I was going to kill
him.”

“I knew it!” Melvin slapped his forehead.
“That’s why I told you I didn’t want you exploring any of those places without
me. I just had a
feeling
you were thinking about confronting him on your
own! At least I know I’m not crazy. I was right.” He stood and went to the
window to peer out, his back to Sue. “But I also worried that you still loved
him. Was I right about that, too?”

“Oh, Melvin.
How could I love someone who hurt me so badly?”

He didn’t turn around, fiddled with
the window shade. “I don’t know. The way you talked about him sometimes...it
made me wonder. And the way you reacted to the news of his death. It was
shocking to me.”

“Don’t you understand? The biggest
share of that grief was because I’d been robbed of my goal. I had planned,
trained, schemed, searched, and practiced in my mind finding him and ridding
the world of him. All the energy and time I put into it. And then suddenly, I
find out my efforts were wasted.”

Melvin faced her before looking
away once again. “What was the other part?”

She rose from the sofa, walked softly
to him, and wrapped her arms around him from behind. She’d never admit to
anything that would hurt Melvin. Total honesty was a fine concept, but
hazardous in practice. “I was confused for a long time. But it’s you I care
for. You I want. You surely know that by now, don’t you?”

He turned slowly and pulled her
into an embrace, holding her close. “I know he messed with your head. I just
hoped he hadn’t gotten your heart, too.” He pulled back and held her at arm’s
length. “But what the hell were you thinking? You were going to take him on?
Sue! Single-handed? You could’ve been killed! Didn’t you even give a thought to
me and my feelings? I don’t think I could handle it if something happened to
you. It would ruin me.” He ran his hand tenderly over her head, played with her
braid. “You mean so much to me, Sue.”

She kissed him, not only out of a
burst of emotion, but also to keep him from saying anything more. She knew how
he felt about her. She felt the same, but wasn’t quite ready to put it into
words.

The next day, Sue visited her
parents to tell them about the deaths. She dreaded bringing up the subject of
Zeke because it was so painful for them. But she knew they needed the closure,
the peace of mind.

Slowly, she explained the fire in the
school, the evidence found,
the
bodies.

Seated in the kitchen with his
elbows on the table, her dad clenched a fist and cupped it in his other hand.
“Thank God,” he exclaimed. Then he turned to his wife. “Linda. I’m sorry,
honey. I know it’s wrong to be thankful when somebody dies.”

Her eyes were bright with defiance
and unshed tears. “Don’t be sorry, Frank, I feel the same way.
I’m
thankful he’s gone. It was a monster who died, not a human being.
An ugly, disgusting monster!”
She squeezed Sue’s shoulder
and then walked over to the sink and leaned against it, shaking. After a time,
she pulled a few paper towels from the roll, raised her glasses, and wiped her
eyes.

Sue turned to her father with a
questioning look, worried about her mother. She started to get up.

He put a hand on her arm,
stopping her, and shook his head slightly. “She’s okay,” he whispered. “Let her
be.” He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “Finally, it’s over,” he said to
no one in particular. “The filthy bastard’s dead.” A tight, grim smile spread
across his face. Sue had never seen such a vengeful look on her father’s gentle
features and it shocked her.

“He got his just desserts.” Linda
turned around to face them, eyes red. “The whole horrible thing is finished
once and for all. I never want to hear his name spoken in this house again.
From now on, it’s like he never existed.” She balled up the paper towels,
tossed them in the trash, and marched from the room.

“Daddy.”
Sue’s lip trembled.

He patted her hand. “She’s been
awful hurt by all this, honey.
Held a lot inside so as not to
upset you.
But don’t you worry; everything’s going to be fine now.
Everything’s going to be just fine.”

Chapter 37

Over the next couple of weeks, Sue
experienced a growing acceptance of Zeke’s death. As her head began to clear,
she almost sagged with relief that her plans for vengeance had been thwarted.
With this new outlook came a desire to turn her back on the past and learn to
enjoy the present while anticipating a bright future.

She stopped by her parents’ home
after work near the end of June. She found them in the kitchen, preparing to
eat dinner.

“I have a couple of favors to ask.
First of all, Dad, do you still have that black fedora you used to wear?”

His brow furrowed. “I don’t know
what happened to it. I forgot all about that thing.”

“It’s on the top shelf of our
closet,” Sue’s mom answered, setting another plate on the table. “Why don’t you
have supper with us and I’ll look for it when we’re done eating? Although, I
can’t imagine what you want with it.”

Sue dropped into a chair and pulled
it up to the table. “Melvin’s birthday is the 27th and I want to give it to him
as a joke. It looks like something out of a fifties detective movie. I think
he’ll get a kick out of it. That is, if you don’t want it anymore, Dad.”

“Heck, I didn’t even remember where
it was. Besides, it’s too tight. My head must have gotten bigger over the
years.” He smoothed a hand over his thinning hair. “Anyway, they say hats can
cause premature baldness.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Sue laughed and then
looked at her mother. “And Mom, I was hoping I could talk you into making a
cake. I could try, but yours are so much better than anything I could come up
with. And when I mentioned my favorite cake is the mayonnaise cake, Melvin said
he loves red velvet with cream cheese frosting. You know you make that better
than anyone.” A little flattery never hurt, but it was the truth; Sue’s mother
made the best cakes.