Stronger With Her (7 page)

24 days ago

W
ednesday afternoon brings a turning point. I’ve been diligently working my cases, trying to tie up any loose ends before I put in my notice. I know that two weeks is the standard, but Lindsey is on my last nerve so I’m going to give two days. Friday will be my last day in this soul-sucking abyss and I can’t wait to break free. Kate called this morning to let me know that all the paperwork has been filed and she gave my number to her other client. Hopefully, that means I’ll hear from them soon.

I’m packing up my purse and printing my resignation letter when my door flies open, bouncing off the wall behind it. Lindsey is standing there with a look of pure hatred on her face. I stand up as tall as I can which is still shorter than her and wait to see what’s going on.

“You little bitch. Who the fuck do you think you are?” Her face is red and there is spit coming out of her mouth. I stand my ground and maintain eye contact. I refuse to let her get to me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why don’t you come in and we can discuss what’s bothering you, Lindsey,” I say as calmly and professionally as I can. This woman is so unpredictable there’s really no way to know what’s crawled up her ass.

“You don’t know?” She says at a volume that I’m sure the people downstairs heard. “I just got a call from Janet Mabie at Sunshine Solutions. She tells me that you are going out on your own and want them to come with you?” She’s screaming now and is stalking toward me with her fists balled at her sides.
Fuck.
I was hoping Janet would keep her mouth shut for a few days.

“Yes, I’m going out on my own. I have my resignation letter right here. I was planning to give it to you today.” I take the paper off my printer, sign it, and hand it to her. She looks at it, laughs maniacally, and balls it up.

“Fuck your resignation. You’re fired. Get the fuck out of my sight you disloyal bitch.” She takes my name plate from the desk and throws it across the room. It leaves a dent in the wall where it makes impact.

“Okay, Lindsey, calm down. I’ll leave. You don’t have to get violent,” I say with my hands up in surrender. I knew this woman was unstable, but this is a first. I can see a crowd starting to form outside my door. I’m sure this is quite the spectacle from their viewpoint.

“You’re right you’re going to leave. In fact, I’m going to stay right here and make sure you don’t steal anything else as you go. Jones,” she yells into the hall, “Get Stephanie a box so she can pack her shit. HURRY!”

This was not how I planned this to go, but I don’t question it. A box is set on my desk and I put the few personal items I have here in it. I didn’t really bring anything with me since I knew my employment was in the hands of a madwoman.

“I’ve got it all. I’m going,” I say as I pick up the box. When I start to walk past her, she grabs my arm.

“Don’t you ever show your face here again. You have no idea what I’m capable of, and I’m not afraid to show an ungrateful cunt like you.”

“Don’t you ever threaten me. I can do things to you that only happen in your nightmares. Get your fucking hands off me or I will call the cops and have you arrested for assault,” I say quietly enough for her to hear me but no one else. She lets go of me like she’s been burned, and I walk quickly out of the office.

I don’t stop until I reach my car which is parked down the street. Once I get in, the tears start flowing. I’m really not a confrontational person, most of the time nobody even notices me, and I’ve never been in a fight before. After taking a few minutes to calm down, I put the car in drive and head home.

The trip to my apartment is slow because of the afternoon rush. It gives me too much time to think, which is a blessing and a curse. I try to concentrate on making plans for EPOM, like who I’m going to call first for a consultation and design for business cards. But then memories of my sister interrupt those thoughts and I get tearful again. I miss Erin so much it hurts sometimes. She was so pretty and much smarter than me. She had such a bright future ahead of her until the voices started. I was only a teenager, but I remember how hard it was for her to sort out what was real and what wasn’t.

“Get the fuck out of here,” she screamed. I glanced over and Erin was looking in the kitchen pantry yelling at nobody.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“There’s a fucking dragon in here and I can’t get to the cereal. I want that asshole out of my way so I can get my breakfast,” she continued to yell into the cabinet.

“There’s no such things as dragons, Erin. Seriously, what are you talking about?” I try to get around her to look, but she puts her arm up and doesn’t let me by.

“He’ll kill you, Steph. I have to protect you. You can’t go in there. I’ll get a knife and get him before he gets you.” She’s whispering now and I’m getting really scared.

“I’ll just go outside, Erin,” I say as calmly as I can, even though I just want to cry. My sister is losing her mind.

“If you leave now he said he won’t hurt you. Run as fast as you can and I’ll stay until he leaves.” I don’t argue with her. I leave the kitchen, going into the backyard, pulling my cell phone from my pocket and calling my mother to tell her what’s going on.

That was the first time my sister was admitted to a psychiatric ward. There would be many more episodes before her suicide. The medicine never helped, when she actually took it, and she didn’t have the insight to know what was wrong. I hope she found her peace on the other side.

I finally arrive at my complex and park my car outside my building. I live in a secure community where there’s a security guard at a gate twenty-four hours a day. It helps me sleep better at night. Feeling safe is something that is fleeting for me. With Erin added to what happened to Becca, I feel like I’m always looking over my shoulder or waiting for something bad to happen.

My apartment is pretty plain. I’m not one who likes to decorate or spend a lot of time and money on wall art or drapes. I’ve got a one-bedroom, one bath unit that has a small kitchen, dining area, and living room. There is a balcony which is nice in the spring and fall when the weather is comfortable enough to sit outside. It’s very simple, but it’s really all I need. Pets aren’t allowed so even though I’d like to have a cat, I’m completely alone here.

It’s time to get it together, I tell myself. No more moping around when I have a company to get off the ground. While I wait for my laptop to boot up, I get a bottle of water and a handful of chocolate mints for fuel. I don’t know what it is about these things, but I love them so much that I go to a warehouse store and buy them in bulk. There are always silver wrappers laying around like a trail of breadcrumbs I could use to find my way back.

While I’m designing my new business cards, my Skype starts ringing. It’s my mother which surprises me until I remember what day it is. She always calls on Wednesday nights.

“Hi, Mom,” I say as I open the program. The screen fills with her smiling face.

“Hi, sweetie. How are you?” I debate whether to tell her what happened today or not. She’ll just worry so I decide that now isn’t the time. Instead, I paste a smile I don’t feel on my face and lie to my mother.

“I’m great. Lots going on right now. How’s Dad doing? Is he still traveling for work?”

“Yes, he’s in New York right now but should be home tomorrow. I have to talk to you about something.” She sounds really serious. This isn’t going to be good.

“What’s up?” I ask as nonchalantly as I can, my stomach churning with anxiety.

“We’re putting the house on the market. It’s time for us to downsize and have something with less maintenance.”

“Okay, I understand that,” I reply, still waiting for the rest of the story.

“You’re going to need to come and clean out your room, take anything you want to keep and get rid of the rest. The new place will only have two bedrooms,” she says matter-of-factly.

“What about Erin’s room?” I ask with a break in my voice. Her room hasn’t been touched since her death and I’m not sure I’m ready to let go.

“We’re going to go through it as well, all of us together. It’s time to move on, Stephanie. It’s been six years and we all need to heal. Erin wouldn’t want us to continue on this way. Your father and I agree that moving out of the house will help us, and I hope that it will help you too.” I take a deep breath before I answer.

“All right. When do you want to do this?” I can’t look at her.

“Why don’t we plan to do it in a few weeks? That will give your father and me time to get some of the other things done. We’ll leave your room and Erin’s room for last.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. The rational part of me knows that this is what is needed and part of life. The emotional part of me wants to stomp around and throw a temper tantrum like a three-year-old child.

“Fine, mom. How about I put it on my calendar for four weeks from Saturday? Does that work?”

She nods in acknowledgment. We make small talk for a few more minutes and then she signs off. I give up and head off to bed. Hopefully when I wake up things will be better.

22 days ago