Strong Enough (25 page)

I freeze staring at the license plate.
No, it couldn’t be
, my thoughts
racing to match the rapid beat of my heart. My palms are sweaty and
my eyes have dried out from not blinking.
It
wasn’t him, was it? But why? What the fuck is going
on?

“Reece, baby, you okay?” His hand coming to
rest on my shoulder.

I flinch from his touch and stammer to my
feet. “It was you?” My question less of a question and more of a
confirmation.

“What are you talking about sweetheart?”

“No, tell me you weren’t…” My eyes no longer
dry but instead fighting back tears.

“I don’t understand Reece, what is wrong.”
Frustration echoing in his voice.

“It was you, outside the bar that night. You
were across the street. You were waiting for me and then you
followed me…” The first tear releasing down my cheek.

I can see the look on his face and he
understands I know. His eyes grow soft and sheepish like a child
caught with their hand in the cookie jar and no way of denying
it.

“Sweetheart, you don’t understand…”

“No! Don’t you DARE call me that! What the
fuck Zane, you were stalking me!” My anger rising in my voice. “You
sat outside the bar and waited and watched until I left with no one
around. You watched me! What were you going to do Zane? Force…” My
legs begin to quiver as the words form on my lips.
Oh my god, what WAS he going to do?
His hands grip
me by the shoulders tightly.

“NO! Stop Reece, I would never, you don’t
understand, I was…”

“You were WHAT ZANE??!!!” Raising my arms
up, I use my forearms to push against his arms and try to wiggle
free.

“LET GO OF ME!!” My anger mixing with fear
and his grip is strong.

“Reece, PLEASE calm down. Let me explain.
You don’t understand,” he says with panic in his voice.

“OHHH I understand. I understand a fucking
LOT more than you THINK I understand Zane! You have no IDEA how
much I FUCKING understand!” I scream unable to control myself.

I can see a few people towards my building
slowing to watch the spectacle unfold. I can’t help but wonder to
myself if any of them are sticking around to make sure I am okay or
if this is just pure entertainment for them. Thinking they are
there for entertainment brings my blood to a boil and I swing
myself full force out of Zane’s grasp and face the people I was
watching.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU PEOPLE WANT? WOULD YOU
RATHER COME CLOSER AND GET A BETTER FUCKING VIEW? MIND YOUR OWN GOD
DAMN BUSINESS!” I scream across the few feet to my building and
watch as they all mumble to one another and look around as if to
make believe they aren’t there watching until they slowly start to
disburse as I watch.

My blood is boiling now and I am on a roll.
I turn my attention back to Zane.

“Do you have any FUCKING idea what you did
to me that night?” Anger spews with my words.

“I was trying to PROTECT you Reece!!” His
frustration obviously reaching a point he could not hold back.

“Protecting me?” Confusion officially
setting in.

“Protecting me from WHAT Zane? Do you know
how SCARED I was?”

His head hangs a little lower this time with
his response, “Just protecting you, from what or whoever. I wasn’t
stalking you or watching you the way you think I was. I wasn’t
trying to scare you either. From where I was sitting I couldn’t see
you close enough to see your expression. I saw you walk out and
pause a little, but I thought you were just looking around. I saw
you get in your car and take off and I followed you. I was just
wanting to make sure you got home safe.”

I don’t know what to believe. When I pulled
into the police station I was certain I was running from them
again. All the old feelings of fear washed over me and I was
certain.

“I explained it all to the Officer Watts
when he stopped by the next day.”

You have GOT to be FUCKING
KIDDING ME!

“You talked to Officer Watts?” The brewing
of anger beginning again.

“Yes, he came by the condo the next day,
asked me if I was there, I told him yes and explained why,” he
explained steady toned.

And that asshole never
bothered to tell me and let me know I wasn’t being stalked by some
lunatic?”

“Fucking cops, go figure, I’m the one that
files a report and is scared out of my mind and they fucking don’t
bother to tell me what they find out? Noooooo of course not…” I
begin to pace going over the situation.

“Look Reece you’re getting upset over
nothing.”

His words stopped me dead in my tracks and
my reaction could not have been stopped.

“FUCK YOU ZANE BAUER!” I scream with my
finger pointed in his face. Disbelief washes over him and I can see
the clenching of his jaw but it doesn’t faze me as I continue my
verbal assault.

“You arrogant, self-righteous son of a
bitch. You have NO idea who I am or what I have been through. You
don’t have the right to tell me I’m getting upset over nothing. You
don’t have the right to say shit! Fuck you, you put me back in a
place I NEVER wanted to be ever again. You and whatever it was you
thought you were doing made me lose myself. You made me afraid.
YOU!” Tears streaming down my face as my words don’t stop even
though I know he doesn’t understand.

My hands balled and land on his chest and he
doesn’t move as I pound on him. “I thought it was happening again.
I thought you were him. I thought you, I thought you were….” My
words no longer able to be understood as the sobbing increased and
my head crashes down on his chest next to my fists. His arms wrap
around me lightly and he begins to rub his hands up and down my
back trying to show comfort even after what I just said.

My face is buried in his chest when I hear
him
ssssssshhhhhh
me. Pushing back
from him I have pulled every single emotional wall I let down for
him back up. Standing back I look at him. Disbelief, anger,
sadness, betrayal, regret, fear are just a few things I have
rushing through me as I look at him.

“Zane, I can’t do this.” My tone as even as
I can get it with no tears.

The moment he registers what I just said his
face falls and I see a slump in his shoulders as his eyes shift
downward.

“Don’t walk away Reece, don’t shut me out,
please don’t leave my life again….” His words so low I can barely
understand as I walk toward my apartment.

His last words finally register with me.
Don’t leave my life again
, I turn
toward him.

“What do you mean Zane? What do you mean by
don’t leave my life again?” I plead with him to answer me.

He shakes his head slowly back and forth
before he looks at me, his eyes big and fearful.

“What did you mean when you said don’t leave
my life again, Zane?” I ask again with more demand in my voice.

“Nothing, I meant nothing. Just please don’t
throw this, us, away because of a mistake I made. I should have
told you. I’m sorry, I really am. I never meant to scare you. I
just wanted to protect you bett….” He stops mid word and looks at
me in the eyes.

I’m trying to figure out what he’s telling
me when he interrupts me.

“I am going to go, I’m so sorry Reece,” he
finishes as he turns to his car and gets in.

As the engine starts it was like the cloud
lifted and it was starting to clear up.
NO, it
isn’t, can’t be, he wasn’t, he isn’t……

I watch as he backs out and my world starts
to crash again. What have I done?

I
 run my finger around
the rim of the cold glass staring blankly watching the ice melt at
the bottom. My thumb rubs up and down the cold side pushing the
sweat from the glass around.

“Earth to Miller…” Brent waves his hand in
front of my face trying to get my attention.

“Huh, what?” Confusion on my face as I look
at him. “What did you say?”

“I asked what was up with you lately. You
are distracted, distant, and vacant… what is going on?”

I hesitate before speaking. I don’t know
what to say to him. I am not sure what is wrong with me. It’s been
three weeks since the fight with Zane. Three weeks since he walked
away and three weeks since my heart has been empty and my thoughts
are confused. He hasn’t called, texted, come by or anything. He
just walked away questions unanswered with an “I’m so sorry”. I
have spent weeks trying to understand, to figure it out. Am I
right? Was it him? Has it always been him? And here Brent sits
wanting to know what’s wrong with me. I haven’t talked to anyone
about this, not even Danny. But then again, who would I talk
to?

“Sorry, I’m fine, just nervous that’s all.”
My answer masked with a smile.

“I bet you are. God girl, I’m nervous for
you.” His eyes widen in jest and I can’t help but giggle a
little.

“Gee thanks ass…” My words are interrupted
with a warm hand on my back and a gentle kiss on the top of my
head.

“Brent, dude, are you being an asshole
again?” Jon laughs as he sits on the stool next to me.

Resting his hand on my leg he leans in to my
ear and says, “Hi Beautiful,” and gently kisses my ear.

I mouth “hi” back to him with a genuinely
big smile on my face. His presence makes my heart jump and my
stomach flutter. His blue eyes stare back at me and the smile on
his face captivates me.

“Do I need to leave you two alone?” Brent
jokes leaning back in his chair arms crossed over his chest. “I
mean I’m sure there is a little time if you two need it.”

My face drops as I look at him wide eyed and
shocked. “Oh my god, what time is it?”

“It’s 9:30. You go on in 30 minutes,” Jon
answers as his hand rubs my leg in his effort to calm me down from
what he can clearly see is my pre freak out stage.

My breathing quickens and I begin to try and
ease through them. My palms begin to get hot, and I can feel a bead
of sweat trickle down my lower back.

“Breathe beautiful breathe,” Jon whispers in
my ear.

Wide eyed I look at him pleading for him to
do something, but I know there is nothing for him to do. I need to
work through this. I just don’t know how.

“I need to go outside. Um I’ll be back in a
little bit,” I state, quickly standing I move for the door as Jon
grabs my hand his look questioning.

“I promise I will be back, I just need some
fresh air,” I assure him.

He nods and releases my hand.

“Miller, want me to go with you?” Brent
asks.

“No hun, I’m ok I just need a few minutes to
myself, but thanks.” Winking at him.

Pushing open the door I step out into the
Texas night. A nice breeze brushes past me as I inhale a nice deep
breath.

“Nice out tonight huh?” A voice says from
the darkness, a voice I recognize.

Stepping out of the shadows his hands are
pushed down deep in his pockets showing the sheer size of his arms
and causing his green polo to bunch up around his waist. My
thoughts drift to my memory of what is under the polo. His dark
black hair is hidden under a baseball cap and showing a more casual
side to him.

“Zane…” My breathe hushed.

“Hi Reece,” he says walking a few steps to
me.

My first reaction is to run to him, to wrap
my arms around him and not let go. But I don’t. I remember that he
walked away, that left me standing there with, full of questions
and hasn’t been back since.

“What are you doing here Zane?” My question
cold and unfriendly.

He steps closer, so close I can smell him,
and instinctively I breathe in deeply closing my eyes. When I open
them I see a smirk on his face, and it pisses me off.

“Seriously what are you doing here?” My tone
now irritated.

“I came for you.” His answer short.

What does he mean he came for me? To support
me? Or did he literally come for me, to get me back?

The tears instantly rim my eyes and my
breathing stops. There are so many things I want to say and I don’t
know where to begin.

His arms wrap around me as he pulls me into
his solid chest. My arms remain at my side unsure of how to
respond. His warmth starts to penetrate me and his efforts to hold
me closer and closer break through, and I wrap my arms around his
waist tightly. My ear is pressed to his heart as I focus on the
constant
thump…thump…thump
. But then
I remember, and I push back.

“It was you….” Is all I can say.

He searches my eyes for a minute and doesn’t
respond.

“Tell me! Tell me it was you. Tell me you
were there that night, that you picked me up, that you took care of
me! TELL ME DAMNIT!

Tell me you knew this whole time, that you
were playing a game with me the first night. Tell me when you
walked in that back office you knew more about me than I did about
you. Tell me when you wanted to play that stupid question game you
knew the answers… TELL ME you were watching me when Sterling and I
were out that’s why you were there so quick…. TELL ME!