Strike Out (15 page)

“I’d love to dance,” Rennie said in response to her companion’s question. “Let’s go.” She slipped her arm through his. The D.J. chose that moment to slow things down, and Rennie had no doubt his boss would have a thing or two to say about his timing later. She was determined to enjoy the moment. She hadn’t danced since… No, she wouldn’t allow the past to steal the moment of harmless diversion.

Dancing with him was easy. He was slight, which meant she could wrap her arms around him easily. He wasn’t too tall, so she didn’t have to strain her neck to look up at him. It should have been a welcome change, but it reminded her of her brief moment in Zach’s arms earlier. He’d always made her feel so safe and protected...

“So, what do you do, Rowen?”

“I’m an accountant,” he said, tightening his grip on her waist.

“That’s nice.”

Rowen didn’t look like an accountant. She may not have spotted him from across the room, but she knew better than to think looks were the be all, end all. Sometimes being too good-looking was a bad thing. She only had to steal a glance over her shoulder to remember why. Women had been approaching Zach all evening, and while he hadn’t seemed particularly interested in their advances, she was reminded how much it had bothered her when they were a couple.

“How about you? What do you do, Rennie?”

His breath smelled of stale beer. She discreetly turned her head. “I run a charitable organization.”

“That must be rewarding.”

“It is.”
Oh no.
His hand drifted down her back. An inch lower and he would be venturing into unwelcome territory.

“I couldn’t help but notice the wedding band. You’re married?”

That didn’t seem to stop his hand from venturing even farther. That was why she refused to date. One minute a guy was charming, and the next he was grabbing at her as if he had the right. “I’m—”

“With me.” Zach’s voice made the hair on the back of Rennie’s neck stand up. He was pissed.

“Holy shit, you’re Zach Foster!” Rowen shouted, making other people on the dance floor stare. A few of them chuckled and whispered to each other.

Rennie closed her eyes as humiliation made her cheeks burn.
You sure know how to pick ‘em, Alexander.
She wished she could beat a hasty retreat to the door while all eyes were fixed on Zach. She stepped back and ran into the solid wall of Zach’s chest. His hand closed over her hip as her heartbeat kicked up a notch.

“Get lost,” Zach muttered, turning Rennie into his arms.

She waited until Rowen made himself scarce. “You had no right to do that.”

“He had no right to touch you like that.”

Zach was right, but it wasn’t his place to rescue her. She was perfectly capable of telling a jerk to back off, only he hadn’t given her the chance. “I see you haven’t changed a bit.” She couldn’t keep the bite out of her voice. She hadn’t appreciated Zach’s jealousy ten years ago, and she appreciated it even less now.

“I’ve changed a hell of a lot,” he said, the muscle in his jaw flexing as his eyes bored into her. “But one thing will never change. I don’t want to see another guy’s hands on you. Period.”

Rennie sucked in a sharp breath, unsure of how to respond. Zach had always been intense, but he seemed almost… desperate. Why? Did he want to prove that they still had a connection? That much was obvious. Her heart battered her chest every time he got within a few feet of her. That didn’t mean they had to act on it. They couldn’t. Not ever. They were parents, and they had to put Tyler first. Sex would only complicate a situation that was already complicated enough.

He took a deep breath, obviously trying to get his temper under control. “I’m sorry if I overstepped, but from where I was standing, it looked like you could use some help.”

“I was fine. He was harmless.” She was grateful he’d intervened, but if she admitted as much, he would feel he had the right to intercede again. She felt awkward. She was too short to loop her arms around his neck, and she didn’t want to touch his sore shoulder. Cutting the dance short would be best, but the temptation to melt into arms was tough to ignore, especially when the D.J. played “The Dance” by Garth Brooks. She’d always loved that song. It made her think of Zach. Even if she’d known how things would turn out for them, she wouldn’t have passed on the opportunity to know him for anything. He gave her the best thing that ever happened to her, and for Tyler, she would always be grateful.

Zach chuckled as though he could sense her discomfort. Taking her hands, he placed one on his bicep and cradled the other in his hand, over his heart. Rennie wasn’t surprised his heart was pounding as fiercely as hers. It had been a long time since they’d been close, intimate. She tipped her head up, wondering if she would be able to read his thoughts in his eyes.
Oh no.
He was thinking about kissing her. She saw it in the way his eyes kept drifting to her mouth then back to her eyes, as though he was waiting for her permission.

As much as the pulsating in her body pleaded with her to give in, she couldn’t. He was Zach, not some random guy she’d met in a bar. One kiss would lead to another and another. The night would end in her bed, and she would have to explain why he couldn’t stay, why they could never tell their son they’d shared a moment of weakness that could never lead to more.

He lowered his head, brushing his warm lips over her cheek. “You remember.”

She didn’t have to ask what he was talking about. How could she forget making love to Zach? He’d been her first, one of her only two lovers. He taught her what it meant to love with everything she had. He was also the one who taught her how much it hurt to lose everything. “I can’t.”

“Do you ever think about what it was like?”

His breath felt moist and tickled her ear. Not tilting her neck so he could drop kisses in the secret spot she knew he remembered took all of her restraint. “No.”

His hand drifted lower, cradling her spine, and she felt every inch of his rock hard body. “You’re lying.”

He could always read her so easily, as though he had a direct line to the thoughts chasing each other through her head. It wasn’t fair, but if Nathan’s death taught her one thing, it was that life wasn’t always fair. She was almost afraid to invite him to continue, but the masochistic part of her who’d agreed to dance with him needed to know. “How do you know that?”

“You don’t love someone for as long as you loved me, walk out of his life carrying his baby, and forget he exists.”

He was right, of course. She thought of Zach every day. Every time Tyler looked at her with those big brown eyes so much like his dad’s, her heart softened a little. She couldn’t hold on to her bitterness toward Zach any longer. To resent him would harm their innocent child, and she couldn’t do that to Tyler. “You’re right. No matter how much I might have wanted to, I could never have forgotten what we shared.” She met his eyes when he set a finger under her chin, tipping her face up.

“I’m glad.” His eyes rested on her mouth a beat too long, but he finally tore his attention away. “Where do you guys live?”

It seemed surreal he didn’t know where she lived when he seemed to know every little nuance about her. “A few blocks from my parents. When I came back, I knew I wanted to raise Tyler in the old neighborhood.” She smiled.

He grinned. “It’s still a great place to raise a family.”

A family.
Her heart hurt a little more than it should have hearing him say that word. She and Tyler were already a family, but she remembered the family she’d hoped to have with Zach one day. Three kids, that’s what they’d said they wanted… and a dog. She wanted a little one, he wanted a big one, so they’d laughingly compromised on one of each.

“What’re you thinking about?” he asked, his voice raw as though he shared her thoughts.

“Nothing,” she said, dipping her head.

“Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out.”

“Fine.” She looked up at him, letting him see the hurt and annoyance in her eyes. She didn’t want to seem angry or weak. Since he’d forced it out of her, she would let him know exactly how she felt. “I was wondering whether you ever meant any of the things you said to me.”

“What’re you talking about?” he asked, stepping back when the song ended and new bodies crowded the dance floor. “I meant everything I ever said to you.”

It was time for her to leave. The Griffins had called it a night almost an hour ago. She needed to do the same. She had to put some distance between herself and her past. She could ask Terri to tally the total tomorrow. “I have to go.” She was halfway to the door before she realized he was following her. “Go away.”

“I’m walking you to your car whether you like it or not. It’s dark, and drunk guys are eyeing you up and down. I’m not gonna take a chance on one of them following you.”

Damn him
. Why did he have to remind her that, despite his faults, he had a sweet, considerate side that made her recall things she needed to forget? “I’ll be fine. You have bouncers at the door.”

“I don’t care. I’m walking you to your car.”

She knew it was pointless to argue with him when he’d made up his mind. Trying to put a little distance between them, she walked as fast as she could. His long legs made a mockery of her attempt. He fell into step beside her as soon as they reached the sidewalk.

“Did you have anything to drink tonight?” he asked, reaching for her keys. Releasing the key ring, she silently cursed and wished he would take a hint already. What did he intend to do, buckle her in too? He pressed the button and walked toward her Volvo when the lights flashed. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I had one glass of wine when I arrived. Nothing since.”

“Did you have anything to eat?” He held her keys just out of reach.

Sighing, she said, “I had several appetizers. Are you satisfied?” She held out her hand, expecting him to drop her keys into her palm.

“I should have made sure you had dinner.” He reluctantly handed her the keys.

“It’s not your job to take care of me anymore, Zach.” He’d always been her protector, but he needed to know where they stood. It may be his job to look after their son, but she was on her own, and that’s the way she wanted it.

“What if I want to?” he said quietly. “What if I want to take care of you and our son?”

Pretending she’d never learned the truth about him that night was so tempting. She could allow herself to believe, even for a moment, that she could take everything he said at face value, but experience had taught her she would be a fool to make the same mistake twice. “That option isn’t on the table. Tyler is your son, and I won’t prevent you from having a relationship with him if that’s what you both want, but having a relationship with me isn’t an option. We can co-parent our son. That’s where it ends.” That’s where it had to end.

“Tell me what you were thinking back there.” He brushed a strand of hair off her face when the breeze blew it across her cheek. “Please, I need to hear you say it.”

She knew it would be a mistake to talk about their past. Since he seemed so determined to hear the truth, she said, “I was thinking about the life we’d planned, wondering whether you ever meant any of it.” She tipped her head to the side, watching him closely. “Or were you just telling me what I wanted to hear?”

“No.” He stepped in closer when a truck drove past. “I wanted all of the things I said I did with you, Ren.”

She swallowed hard when he took another step closer, backing her into the car. She had to get out of there before she did something stupid—like kiss him.

“I wanted the house with a pool near a good school…”

God, how could he reminisce about every little detail of the life he’d told his brother he didn’t want? It hurt so much to remember, yet he made it impossible to forget. “Don’t do this.”

He continued as though he hadn’t heard her soft plea. “The dogs…” His lips tipped up at the corners. “A Retriever and a—”

“Miniature poodle.” She surrendered to a smile when he rolled his eyes. He’d always disliked the breed, claiming they were yappy. He finally agreed to let her have one as long as she promised not to give it one of
those
haircuts.

“Did you ever get Tyler a dog?” he asked.

“No.” A breeze lifted the hair off his forehead, and she saw the small scar he’d gotten in a car accident the year he turned nineteen. He was so familiar. She had to remind herself he wasn’t her best friend anymore. He’d stopped being that guy the night she learned he’d just been pretending to want the life she did.

“Why not?”

“We talked about it, but it never seemed like the right time.” She regretted the reference to her husband as soon as he looked tortured. She wasn’t trying to rub his face in the fact that she’d had a happy marriage with someone else, but she wouldn’t dishonor Nathan’s memory by pretending he hadn’t existed either.

“Why not now?” He was obviously trying to pretend he wasn’t reeling from the name she’d never actually said. “He’s getting older. I think he could handle the responsibility.”

She wanted to say he had no idea what Tyler could or couldn’t handle. Zach didn’t even know him. Stating the obvious seemed cruel though, especially when she was partially to blame that they’d never had the chance to bond. “I guess I’m not ready.”

“Every kid should have a dog, especially an only child.”

Rennie didn’t respond. The last thing she wanted was to argue about whether it was the right time to add a pet to the mix. “We’ll see.”

“Did you ever think about”—he set his hand on the car behind her, holding her captive—“having another baby? With him?”

Was he serious? If she didn’t want to talk about a dog, she certainly didn’t want to talk about whether she and her late husband ever considered having a baby. “I have to go.” She hoped he would step back. Of course, he didn’t. “I’m not going to answer that question, so you can forget it.”

“Too personal?” His eyes burned into hers, almost as though he sought to punish her thinking about expanding her family with someone else. “There was a time when nothing was off limits with us. Remember that?”

“I thought that too. Obviously I was wrong.” She tried to cross her arms, but he wouldn’t give her enough room to move. “If we’d been able to talk about anything, you would have told me the truth about how you felt instead of letting me find out the way I did.”