Straight from the Heart (17 page)

“Not for a little while.” I told her. “First
band should be going on about right now, and there’s one more, then
us. By the way, you should come with me to meet Damon.” I urged
them along, and they gave me a look that said ‘The Damon
Charming?’

“Aww that’s no fun. They can stay here with
us,” Luke replied, turning on some music. “What do you like to
drink?”

Gina ran straight over to him, mouthing
‘Sorry.’ Now she was practically hanging on his arm. “Beth and I
are only eighteen just like Bryn, so you realize you could get in
big trouble for giving us alcohol?” The way she said it, she was
trying to tease Luke and flirt with him. Luke bought the bait,
because he leaned in towards her face, kissing her cheek.

“I’ll take my chances,” I heard him whisper,
pouring a few glasses of vodka that they just brought in. “Plus you
can’t say no since Bryn already offered you something.”

“You go ahead, B. We’ll be safe,” Bethany
said as she giggled, grabbing one of the glasses from Luke.

Cale stepped in front of the door to stop
me. “You’re going to leave your friends with them?” He questioned
me, arms crossed like he was a bodyguard.

“Why not? I was just going to go see Damon
and bring him back here for a second. Is that a problem?” I
snapped, trying to push him out of the way.

“Bryn, I’ve told you before he’s just
trouble. Decent guy, but not somebody you want to be with.” The way
he said ‘be with’ made me think he thought I was trying to have sex
with Damon.

“What is the bug up your ass about Damon,
Cale? Honestly, I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.” I
left the dressing room before he could answer, searching for Damon.
I could hear the loud booming music from the stage and Ignite the
Flames was just a few doors down. Screams and pounding on the walls
pierced my brain as I had a bad feeling something was happening. I
shoved that to the back of my mind as I knocked on the door. Pauly
opened the door and looked completely surprised to see me.

“Heyyy, Bryn, how’s it goin’?” he slurred,
not letting me in just yet. I knew it. He had to have been hiding
something.

“Where’s Damon?”

Pauly’s face puckered up like he just ate
something sour and shook his head. “He’s in there, but be warned,
someone might have gotten to him…”

“What the Hell are you talking about?” I
demanded as Pauly moved aside to let me in. Once again their room
was crowded with guys and girls looking like sluts. I slithered my
through, trying to spot Damon’s blond hair when I saw him in the
middle of the room with a girl wearing nothing but a tight corset
on her knees groping him through his jeans. Worst was there was
another girl behind him, kissing every spot on his body, and he
seemed to be loving it. He didn’t even notice I was standing right
there, completely disgusted by what I was watching in front of me.
It was just reassurance that I was too young for this shit I guess.
For thinking that Damon
Charming
was actually interested in
me.

Now I felt he was nothing but a fake. The
amazing date in Chicago? Fake. Taking me onto his tour bus nearly
having sex with me? Also fake.

I saw Lucy in the corner talking to a few
people and she regarded me sympathetically. She had warned me.
Everyone had warned me. I was too stupid to listen to the people
that were looking out for me. As I hurried out the door, Lucy
grabbed my arm, smiling faintly.

“I’m sorry, Bryn.” She frowned. “I thought
Damon would’ve changed. He talked about you like you were
the
one.
”

I shrugged, fighting off tears as I felt
people watching me break down. Let them see. I vowed to myself
tonight that I would take it out on my guitar and pound those
strings out of the piece of wood as if I would never play
again.

Putting one foot in front of the other, I
formed a fake smile, shoving past people in the hallway. Most of
them roadies I knew asked me if I was okay. The door was open and I
could hear Cale shouting the words to some Bullet for My Valentine
song blasting through the small speakers in our dressing room.
Everyone saw me stroll back in, lifting their cups up shouting
“Heyyyy!”

“You’re finally back,” Gina slurred, draping
her arm around my shoulders. “So where’s that man you were telling
us about?”

I poured myself a drink straight out of the
Rum bottle and took a couple of long sips. “Doesn’t matter. He’s
off getting sucked or some shit like that…I don’t even care
anymore.”

“Ohhh goody two shoes has a potty mouth!”
Raptor laughed hugging me from behind, sending me into the air.

“Rap, put me down!” I shrieked, worrying
about my drink spilling all over. Lucky for me not one drop
spilled. He set me down gently and I started giggling. “I can swear
when I want to.”

“You sound hot doing it, sis, just saying.
Who are we talking about anyways?”

I didn’t even want to say the name, so Gina
finished my thought. “Mr. Charming. Bryn said someone was jerking
him off right in front of everyone…”

I slapped Gina on the shoulder. “I did
not!”

“Damn…I always knew there was something
fishy about him,” Raptor said in frustration. “I’m sorry you had to
see that Bryn. Their pre-show parties can get kind of wild…”

“I’m fine really. Can we just not talk about
it anymore?” I snapped, before thinking better of it. “Sorry. Maybe
I’m just tired I guess.”

“I can’t wait to see you up there,” Bethany
chimed in, kissing me on the cheek. She smelled completely of
alcohol and they hadn’t even been there that long. “My best friend
the rock star. So jealous.”

That was the booze talking.

“Your friends are pretty fun, B.” Cale
shouted from behind me, slinking a warm arm around my waist. His
touch sent electricity through my spine, making me jump.
 “They seem so unlike you.”

I looked up at him and smirked. Here he was
thinking I was little Miss Boring once again, the girl who lives by
the rules. “Unlike me, huh? Are you going to kick me out because I
don’t know how to have fun or something?”

He laughed, and I could feel his body rumble
from the laughter. “I would never do such a thing. But you do get
in those moods where you seem so uptight, ya know?” I removed
myself from his grasp, completely taken aback by what he just said.
I’d been trying to loosen up and have more fun yeah, but was I
still the boring old Bryn I used to be?

I leaned up to his mouth and kissed him
square on the lips. Not giving him time to react, I took a couple
steps back and said “Is that boring to you?”

He had a look on his face as if he was
thinking about it and pinned me against the wall without a second
thought. What was I thinking doing that? Impulse. Like how I was
feeling now. I wanted Cale to kiss me right at that very moment, in
front of everyone in this room and not think anything of it.

His breathing slowed down a little bit, his
eyes meeting mine.

“Are you challenging me again, Bryn
Schaefler?”

A challenge? It was what we were good at by
now. Hell, we were pro’s.

“What’s the challenge this time,
Pelton…?”

“Me trying not to fuck you right here
against this wall.”

Teasing. One of those days he would pin me
against the wall and I’d give in. Strip every ounce of clothing I
had off my body and just give myself to him. Call it being over
Damon within just a matter of minutes, call it whatever, but that
secret part of me that had always had feelings for Cale was showing
through and I didn’t care who knew it.

We agreed on singing “You’re Going Down”
that night, and also finally bringing out “Time,” one of the first
songs I practiced with them. That night was a whole different level
of playing. Maybe it was because, like I promised, my two best
friends were in the very front row dodging the crowd surfers that
bumped their heads as the security guards grabbed them. Between
Gina and Bethany, their screams out-shot anyone in that theatre
which made me laugh in the middle of my vocals. Cale sang with more
passion and fire than I had ever seen before. I could finally say
it: He looked fucking hot and I wanted him to be my first. I don’t
know why I waited so long to finally admit it. I was so absorbed by
Damon and I had genuine feelings for him not only as a friend, but
more.

“I just wanted to say thank you L.A. you
have been an amazing audience tonight and I want to give a special
shout out to my best friends Gina and Bethany. I love you girls and
hope you enjoyed us,” I announced to sweaty crowd, all of their
eyes on me. “We’ve got one last song and up next is Ignite the
Flames!” Uproar surrounded me. It was like the news everyone was
waiting to hear. I thought people liked Everlasting, but these
Ignite the Flames fans were hardcore people. But that was what I
lived for now: these screams, the sweat, the blood, singing into a
microphone in front of thousands. What was I going to do with
myself after tour? Oh yeah, record the album.

We played our last song and left the stage,
throwing our leftover picks and Raptor’s drumsticks to the
people.

“So, Bryn,” Raptor said as he stopped me as
I was grabbing a bottle of water. “You should give me Gina’s
number.”

I halted dead in my tracks and gave him an
uncertain look. “Gina? You like her?” I didn’t mean it in a bad
way, but Raptor didn’t seem like a one woman guy.

“Hell yeah I do. She’s totally chill and
doesn’t seem like a model at all. I like that about her.” Raptor
said, pointing back towards the audience. “Plus on a scale of one
to ten she’s like a 1,000 by far, as cheesy as that sounds.”

Squeezing his shoulder, I completely
understood what he meant. “I’ll put in a good word for ya, Rap,
how’s that?”

“Oh you’re the best, Bryn. I don’t care what
Cale says about you,” Raptor laughed, joining up with the rest of
the guys as they took off in the other direction. As I turned
around, I bumped square into Damon and his bare tattooed chest.
Shit.

“Hey, I heard what you saw earlier…” Damon
started to say, but I slapped him in the jaw and was shooting
daggers. Déjà vu of Ethan all over again. Laughing, drunk off his
ass, thinking humiliating me was funny.

I shook the thought away. “Just for future
reference. I’ll tolerate being in a room with you if I have to but
otherwise leave me well enough alone. I was just a play toy to
you...”

“Bryn, no you weren’t. I really liked you. I
just do stupid things when I drink.”

I spat at his feet and walked away. 
“Obviously, you ass. And good luck tonight.” I didn’t look back to
see his reaction, but I heard him throw one of their guitars into
the wall in frustration. Ahhh, sweet victory.

“Holy rocker chic Bryn Michelle,” Bethany
squealed, both her and Gina running up to me after I took a quick
bathroom break before changing into more relaxing clothes. “You
looked hot as shit up there, seriously. If I were a guy I’d want to
bang you.”

She immediately lifted my spirits up. I
missed these girls too much. I smiled widely and laughed. “Thanks,
I guess. You didn’t want to see Ignite the Flames?”

They both shook their heads. “Not after what
that jerk of a lead singer did to you. I’m afraid I would punch him
in the balls,” Gina replied, running over to Raptor after he
appeared from the bathroom. He cranked the music to Pierce the Veil
and we all drank for the next hour talking about nonsense I don’t
even remember now. Cale avoided me once again, but he made small
talk with my friends, periodically throwing his arms around them.
We would steal glances at each other, but nothing more.

I said my goodbyes to the girls a couple
hours later, promising them we would go to lunch the next day
before we headed to San Francisco in the afternoon. Relieved to get
back on the bus, I said goodnight to the guys, climbed into my bunk
and fell asleep. Lately I had been having dreams about the last
time I saw Ethan. His face was haunting me, but instead of not
knowing what happened, he said everything was “my fault” and I was
a chicken shit for not going all the way with him. The hungry look
on his face as if he was going to hurt me scared the living crap
out of me, jolting me awake.

“Are you okay?” Cale asked quietly, standing
next to the bunk as I sat up straight as a stick. “It sounded like
you were having a nightmare or something.”

“Just a bad dream,” I grumbled, running a
hand through my snarled hair. I reminded myself to take a shower
ASAP in the morning. “Go back to sleep, Cale, I’m alright.”

Cale ignored me and climbed in beside me,
holding my body to his. “Ethan again?”

He had known about my previous nightmares
because he claimed I was shouting things in my sleep. “Yeah,” I
whispered, hands gripping the blanket in front of my belly for
comfort. “Three nights now.”

Cale sighed, joining his hands in mine,
playing with my fingers ever so slightly. “Damn, I’m sorry babe. Do
you want me to get down or stay with you?” I already knew the
answer. Feeling his warm body against my cold was comfort to me,
and maybe it was what I needed to sleep tonight.

I turned my face to his and mouthed “yes.” I
scooted closer to him, my butt flat against his erection, and laid
my head on the pillow. He moved his hands from mine to my waist,
just below my belly button. It was safe to say I slept the rest of
the night, although my mind wandered to the fact that this was the
very first time I had ever slept next to somebody all night.

“Sweet dreams,” Cale spoke softly into my
hair as he drifted off to sleep.

California was amazing, but after being here
for a few days playing shows in San Francisco, San Diego and
Oakland, I was ready to move away from the heat, and fast. That’s
what I secretly missed about Michigan. You never knew what
temperature it was going to be and unlike half the population, I
loved the erratic weather changes.