Straight from the Heart (12 page)

I rolled my eyes. “Oh whatever. That is such
a typical response.” I paused. “You really want to know?” I finally
asked him.

“Yes Bryn. I care about you. I want to know
what is upsetting you so I can try to help you feel better
somehow.” He opened his mouth to say more, but couldn’t get the
words out. “How about this? You tell me, and I promise I won’t be
so overprotective like you’re my sister?”

I took a deep breath. It was bound to come
out at some point.

“Here goes nothing. His name was Ethan
Donahue. We met through my parents who were friends with his. They
were in some rich society together, but Ethan’s family had ten
times more money than mine had. We were both 16, and he was the
most popular guy at school. Girls were constantly flocking towards
him while I usually sat back and wondered what those bitches saw in
him.”

“So he thought he was hot shit?” Cale
questioned, and I nodded.

“Pretttyyy much. But from the first time he
came over for dinner, I was smitten. There was something about him,
the way he talked, or maybe it was his whole presence, that drew me
in. He was gorgeous though. In my sixteen year old mind, he was
everything I ever dreamed of. It was beyond a school girl crush
before I even shook his hand. But we dated for two years, up until
the end of our senior year. Did I tell you before he was the one
who helped me discover my passion for playing guitar? I saved up
paycheck after paycheck for that acoustic you saw at my audition,
and he took me to this place his cousin got his equipment at, about
an hour away from town, and I bought it. We’d sneak out in the
middle of the night to go hang out, watch bands, party until we
were too drunk to drive.”

“Seems like a normal relationship if you ask
me.” Cale spoke, and I pinched his arm. “Don’t do that!”

“Well, keep listening!” I scolded him,
giggling and returning back to where I left off. “Anyway, it was
the perfect relationship. Or so I thought. Money with money. Our
parents were on Cloud Nine knowing we were together. Towards the
end of senior year, just around graduation, I could tell something
was off with him. He acted more distant, but when I called him out
on it he told me how sorry he was and how much he loved me. Then we
go to this big end of the year party and that’s when everything
went to complete shit.” My voice was getting raw and I wanted to
curl up into a big ball and forget I told Cale anything at all.

“Why? Did he hurt you, Bryn?”

“I, uh, not literally hurt if that’s what
you mean.” I stuttered. “He completely ruined my mind-set on how I
feel about guys now. I’ve learned I can’t trust anybody, besides
you guys and my friends Gina and Bethany.”

“What did he do? You need to tell me, Bryn.
It’s obviously messing you up and affecting you,” Cale whispered.
His fingers were now touching the arm I was resting on, giving me a
warm feeling inside.

“Let’s just say I was humiliated in front of
a bunch of rich kids.” I proceeded to tell him everything up until
just before Ethan and I went back downstairs. Cale lay next to me,
listening intently, letting me pause before I continued further.
Taking another huge breath, I finished my story. “Okay so we got
dressed again and went back downstairs. I was glad no one noticed
where we had went, but when Ethan said he was going to get us
waters, I had a sneaky feeling something was wrong. The inside of
this place was huge yes, but it didn’t take 15 minutes to get
something to drink. I heard a bunch of people run into the other
room so I turned around the corner to see what the big fuss was. I
knew it wasn’t a fight, but it was much worse.”

“Shit…”

“Yeah. Over 300 kids from our school were
looking at their phones in a fit of laughter. I peeked over
someone’s shoulder and wanted to curl up and die. Someone recorded
Ethan and I’s close ‘encounter’ or whatever you want to call it. I
mean really, who would do that shit? People finally noticed me in
the room and my face turned paler than a ghost. I could feel all
the blood draining out of my face as they pointed at me, making fun
of me. Telling me I was a tease that I’d always stay a
virgin…anything to get me to cry. And boy it worked. I felt rage,
hurt, embarrassment; I wanted to punch each and every one of those
faces in the room. My mind went straight to Ethan. He was over in a
corner with his buddy Lincoln, drinking out of a stupid plastic
cup, acting oblivious to any of the slurs that were thrown at me. I
will never forget his face. I said ‘you fucking did this, you
bastard!’ and he lied to me. ‘Bryn Michelle, I would never record
us almost having sex.’”

Cale snorted. “Did he end up fessing
up?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Ethan was the kind
of guy to never admit he was wrong. He claimed someone must’ve
planted a recorder in the room before we went in there, and that it
was an accident. I slapped him so hard on the cheek he had spots
that were bleeding. Then I slapped his other cheek with as much
force. I was so angry Cale, I would never ever hurt someone like
that, but for all of those people to see me naked, almost having
sex with my then boyfriend? It was the most humiliating thing I’ve
ever been through. But before I walked out of the house I kneed him
in his private area, saying ‘Don’t you ever come near me again
unless it’s an apology,’ and left.”

I sat up from where I was laying, wrapping
my hands around my head. Usually that would calm me right down, but
I had just told Cale my biggest secret and I wanted to cry. He
peered at me with a sense of sadness in his eyes.

“Bryn…I…I’m sorry you had to go through
that. This Ethan seemed like a douche.” Cale told me openly. “I’d
say a lot worse about him but you’ve been through enough
already.”

I shrugged and chuckled. “Don’t worry. His
loss, right?”

“Exactly. You have Raptor, Vince, Luke and I
all here for you now. It’s a dysfunctional family, but no family is
normal.” Cale said. “You said his last name was Donahue?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Why?”

Bryn immediately regretted asking, because
the look on his face turned unpleasant. “No reason. Had a friend
with that last name.” That comment left me feeling suspicious.
There weren't a lot of Donahues in Michigan, so I had an odd
feeling his friend and Ethan were somehow related. The bus came to
a complete halt, sending us into the wall, nearly ending up on top
of each other. I rubbed my head and cringed from the slight bit of
pain. “Well this is in interesting position.”  He gestured to
the space between us, which was not much. Clearly amused, I could
see Cale’s cheeks flush beat red and hear his heart pounding out of
his chest.

I laughed nervously, afraid of what my body
was telling me to do versus my head. My heart was thumping a
million miles a minute and I felt a huge aching between my legs. I
didn’t want to feel this way right at this very moment time, or did
I? I kept my hands beside me to resist the urge to run my hand
along his tattoos and his lean body. We stayed put, neither of us
acting on anything, our eyes boring into each other. I watched Cale
have an internal battle of whether he wanted to kiss me or leave
well enough alone.

“What are you thinking?” I asked him, ending
the silence.

“You want the honest truth?” he replied and
I mouthed yes. “I want to run my hands through your hair, tell you
how beautiful you are, kiss you like no one has kissed you before.
I want to be that guy that will catch you whenever you fall, the
guy you can lean on when you have a bad day, that sort of thing.
I’m not really good with ‘saying’ how I feel, Bryn. That’s why I
write a whole shit ton of songs and keep them locked up for when I
need them.” He rolled off of the bunk and landed on his feet.

Cale left me all sorts of confused. Once
again he was pretty much admitting how he had feelings for me and
wanted to be "the one". Sitting up, I used my butt to scoot off the
bed, not sure what to say. It was perfectly clear how he felt now.
I’d told him numerous times how much he felt like a brother to me,
and it was the truth. I could tell him anything and he would sit
there and listen. He didn't judge me, or treat me any different.
Shoot, I had just admitted my biggest secret to him and he was
right there for me ready to wipe my tears away.

“Cale, I don’t know what to say. I’m not
even sure what I’m looking for right now. That whole Ethan
situation has my mind so screwed up, it’s not that I don’t have
feelings for you Cale, I can say one hundred percent yes I do. But
right now I’m trying to figure out myself before anything
else.”

He didn’t seem hurt by my opinion, but more
understanding. He leaned down and kissed me below my lips. “But
you’re dating Damon.”

“No I’m not!” I threw my hands up in the
air. “He’s a nice guy and we went on a date
once
! It was
only dinner Cale, nothing more. I can have other friends besides
you and the guys; honestly I can do whatever the Hell I want.”

Cale took a couple of steps back,
entertained by how I stood up to him. He leaned against the
entryway to the rest of the bus. “And you’re sexy as all hell when
you get pissed off at me.” Leaving our conversation at that, he
winked at me and joined the rest of the guys, who I could hear
shouting about going to a music store in town for guitar shopping.
I decided on a tank top and cut-offs, along with my diamond studded
flip flops.

Digging through my suitcase, I found my
designer Dooney & Bourke purse I was thankful for packing when
I left my parents. It was the first time in a long time I dolled
myself up and took the time to get ready to go out besides the date
with Damon. I used my brush to leave loose curls around my
shoulders spraying loose strands away from my face. Grabbing a pair
of sunglasses, I found my way outside where we were parked beside a
couple of other cars in a downtown parking lot.

“Good day for a walk guys! Get our asses
moving!” Hal shuffled us along, smiling at me as we started our
walk. I moved ahead with Hal as the rest of the guys dragged along
behind us at a snail’s pace.

“So how long have you been with the guys?” I
asked Hal, walking along the sidewalk towards Manchester Road,
where Fazio’s music store was.

“Pretty much since they formed." Hal covered
his mouth and whispered "I’m Luke’s Uncle, but he doesn’t like
anyone to know that.” I never would have guessed that Luke and Hal
were related. Hal was the complete opposite of Luke, in body
and
personality. “I know you’re probably thinking how they
hell are we related? He’s the spitting image of his dad. His mom is
my older sister and pretty much looks like me obviously.”

“Does it ever get tiring being around them
all the time?”

“Shit yes. I ask myself everyday if I can
handle it any longer. They’re good most of the time, but sometimes
you give into temptation. I’ve had to kick girls off the bus quite
a few times. I was a security guard before I offered to drive these
guys around, so it’s kind of second nature to protect them.” He
patted me on the shoulder. “And now you’re here, so it’s extra
special cargo I’m carrying.” Hal chuckled. “I really like you.
You’re good for this group, Bryn. And plus it’s nice to have
someone else to talk to now and again.”

I patted him back. “Thanks, Hal. Every now
and again I get home sick, but technically I left the only home I
had. I consider
this
band my home.” I knew I wasn’t going to
stay in the loft by Lozano’s forever. I had to decide what I was
going to do once the tour was over. Would I stay with one of the
guys? Or would I stay in the loft until Louisa kicked me out?

“Ahhh everything will be fine. Trust me.
Your parents will come around and realize what they’re missing,
Bryn. You’re better than them, hun, stay strong,” Hal assured me as
we reached Fazio’s. As one of the workers greeted all of us, I felt
as much excitement now as when Ethan took me to get my first
acoustic guitar. Wall to wall guitars surrounded me in different
sizes, colors, and number of strings. I could hear screaming behind
me, so I twirled around and the guys immediately stopped when I
glared at them.

“Wooahh sorry princess, I won’t shout or
speak out of turn again,” Luke joked with me, wrapping an arm
around me. I draped my arm around him as we were checking out the
Ibanez guitars on the far wall. I played a Fender electric, and I’d
seen some of the other bands on the tour play Ibanez. Eying up one
of the models that was purple and grey, I immediately wanted it. I
thought it was the most beautiful instrument I had ever laid eyes
on.

Everyone else was checking out the acoustics
and chatting with one of the instructors that gave guitar lessons
when I could feel hands touching my waist from behind me, causing
me to jump a few inches. “Buy it.”

“Cale Pelton, don’t scare me like that!” I
shrieked, watching him smirk as if he scored a victory. “Plus, it’s
almost $2,000 for this thing. I can’t afford that right now.”

He folded his arms in front of him, studying
the guitar. “Bullshit, this has 7 strings, Bryn. This thing rocks,
minus the purple and all. I could see you playing this on
stage.”

“Think so?” I cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Oh I
know
so, B. But then again you
would look hot playing with anything that’s in front of you.” I
took what he said totally wrong, because I put a palm up to my
cheek and felt the burning.
Jeez I’m a frickin idiot. Calm down
Bryn
. He paused, watching me pay close attention to my face.
“You think I meant…”

“No!” I shouted, stopping him before he
could finish. “I thought nothing, Cale. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
You meant the guitar.”

He rolled his eyes, asking the employee if
he could test out the guitar. I watched Nick bring down the piece
of beauty and hand it to Cale. Cale sat on the small stool that was
beside us, grabbing a pick from his back pocket. He strummed it a
couple of times, messing around with some easy chords. He kept his
head bent and watched his fingers play a quick song. Then he
removed the strap.