Storm on the Horizon (Fated For Love) (8 page)

“
I’d hang him by his jewels,” he muttered.

“
Beg pardon?” Olivia couldn’t believe her ears.

“
Nothing,” he snapped. “We should talk about this morning.”

“
I wholly agree. First you came in last night, and then the events of this morning…”

“
You were awake?”

“
From the moment the door opened. One has to sleep light with a brother that enjoys pranks, you know.” She boldly took another sip and held his gaze. She was beginning to feel quite brazen.

“
I should explain myself.”

“
Indubitably. Please dispense with any notion of innocence, conduct, and honor. Just tell me the truth.” Olivia leaned forward in greedy expectation.

He sighed wearily and covered his face with his hands.

Colton couldn’t believe he was actually contemplating coming clean. If he did, what would she do? All his bungled notions of right and wrong were unraveling. He wanted her, and he could even believe she returned that want, but the idea of discovering that here on his ship was distasteful to him. She deserved to be courted, to experience all the fripperies and pomp of a proper betrothal. Isn’t that what women wanted? It is certainly all his mother and sisters ever talked about. How would it look if he dishonored her to the people he cared most about, his family, and her family? It would all come up roses in the end, but to him, the memory would always be tarnished. She claimed she was already ruined, and perhaps that was true, but at least he could stand before their families knowing he had always done right by her.

“
I don’t know what to say to help you understand the situation, Olivia. It is my duty to protect you. I know you think you are ruined, but I just cannot believe that. Any man with a head on his shoulders will see how wonderful you are and be more than lucky to take you to wife. I was really angry when I found you… mostly because what you did could easily have resulted in your death,” he said pointedly.

She bowed her head in embarrassment
, and he continued in a normal tone. “But we are passed that now and must face how we should go on. I sincerely apologize for kissing you. I was not myself and I swear to you it won’t happen again.”

“
What do you mean you were not yourself?”

“
I can’t really explain it I… I am just a man, and I lost control.”

“
That’s hogwash, Colton. I have been around you for much of my life, and you are trying to tell me that you kissed me because you are a man and simply lost control of yourself?”

In her
words, it sounded like tripe, and it
was
absolute tripe. He did not like the taste of lies on his tongue, but he could not be truthful about his feelings yet. It was not the time or the place for such a confession.

“
Like I said before, here on my ship, things are different, I am different. I just want you to know it was a moment of weakness on my part, and it won’t happen again.”

She looked mutinous. The idea that she disliked that idea set a fever to his skin. If she wanted him to kiss her
, it would be nearly impossible not to do so. Everything inside him wanted to oblige her thoroughly, but he had to be strong. His goal was to convince her that his feelings towards her were as placid and serene as a garden pond. He would have to remind himself of that constantly, especially if she got it into her romantic head to test him.

Please God
, don’t let her test me.

“
Should I anticipate any more moments of weaknesses from you?” Her eyes rolled heaven ward.

“
I swear to you that I will control myself from here on out. From now on, I will be an absolute gentleman.”

“
Yes, I can see that.” Olivia released a heavy sigh. “Is this how you deal with all the women you’ve kissed?”

“
Olivia, for God’s sake.” Colton ran his fingers though his hair in frustration.

“
I have a right to know,” she continued.

“
No you don’t,” he growled. “While you are on this ship you are under my protection. Think of me as your brother and all else shall be forgotten.”

“
Is that an order? That felt very much like a command issued by a captain.”

“
Then take it as such.”

“
Colton…”

“
Livie, this is how it must be. Remember, we are both here to find your brother. Isn’t that why you risked your neck to stow away on my ship?” He stood and gathered their dishes.

“
I suppose you’re right. This is about finding Devon.” She stood as well. “Thank you for dining with me, Colton. It has been quite lonely in here.”

“
There is one other thing I ask of you, Olivia.”

“
Yes?” Her eyes brightened.

“
When we reach Amsterdam, you are not to leave the ship.”

“
But Colton—”

“
No. I will tie you to the mast, and Mr. Timms will watch over you. You have already proved that I cannot trust you to be sensible.”

She gasped.

“We both care for Devon, but you must trust me to find him. Let me trust you to do as I ask.”

She was scowling. It was really quite adorable. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.
“Olivia, please, I’m begging you.”

“
Much as I quite like the notion of you begging, I will do as you ask, but only because you asked. Where will you put Devon when you find him?” She walked around the table and sat along the window bench again.

Colton was about to answer when his mind blanked. His eyes caught on her profile and he simply stared.
The light had faded significantly, as the sun said its final farewell. Olivia was a beacon of light in contrast to the darkness beyond the windows. She wore a plain dove grey serviceable dress that amplified her innocence. A ruffle edged the scoop neck that was—thankfully, not too low, but seemed to amplify the fullness of her bodice. She was his epitome of everything a woman should be; soft, inviting, curved in all the right places, and had a heart big enough to embrace the imperfect world that she knew so little of. She was a rare gem of a woman for her station. Kind, thoughtful, so much more than what she was raised to be.

“
You watch me very closely.” Olivia broke into his thoughts.

“
Pardon?” Colton shifted uncomfortably. He
had
been staring at her rather intently.

“
You watch me,” she smiled. “I’ve caught you numerous times simply watching me.”

“
You are rather pleasant to look at, Livie.” One side of his mouth curved up.

She blushed. A tender pink swathed her cheeks and ears.
“What I would dearly like to know is what you were thinking, but I doubt you will tell me.”

Colton thought about it. He shrugged
. “I was thinking about how you came to be the way you are?”

“
The way I am?” Her brows rose in question.

“
Yes, there are few women of nobility as open and caring as you, Livie. I was just thinking that after growing up under such restriction, you came to be so—”

“
Reckless?”

Colton chuckled
. “I was thinking selfless. You care so much for your friends and family—to the point of reckless, I might add, when so many other young ladies of your station only care for dresses and balls. You are different in a lovely way.”

Olivia felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her breath caught in her chest the way a deer freezes when sighted. His words were like a tether to her heart
, and without even realizing it, she stood and walked to where he stood by the table.

He arched a curious brow as she approached unknowing of the urge that had seized her and moved her to action
.

“
You don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

“
What?” he smiled, but his brow furrowed in confusion.

She took his face in her hands and pulled
him to her, covering his lips with hers. She could tell he was startled, but he did not move away, and then something magical happened.

Colton could feel the strength of his resolve give way like a vibration through his muscles.
Her kiss was achingly tender, but like a spark to kindling, it set off an explosion of desire inside him. He crushed her to him in a torrent of want and need. He kissed her harshly, forcing his tongue inside her mouth and taking everything. He pushed her back towards the bed, and she complied as they shuffled, and then he collapsed them onto it in a tangle of limbs and clothing. They broke apart for only a moment, gasping for a breath, and then he stole her mouth again, submerging her in a tidal wave of his passion.

Colton was only aware of the wildness of his need. Everything around them faded until he existed in a bubble of only Olivia; Olivia warm and pliant beneath him, Olivia kissing him back wantonly, and submitting to his uncontrolled passion with abandon. She wiggled beneath him, setting fires in his body, uncontrolled wild fires that smothered all rational thought beneath the smoke and flame of desire. He pinned her with his body, aware that she could feel the evidence
of his need and gloried in the feel of it naturally cradled against her body. He couldn’t stop himself. He thrust against her with intent, showing her exactly what he wanted. She responded ardently, raising her hips, and torturing him in return. They repeated the torture several more times, crushing each other in their arms, dueling with their tongues, and breathing as if their only source of breath was their next kiss. It was his wildest dreams come true, only it wasn’t a dream, it was agonizingly—erotically real, and that was the scariest thing of all.

He broke from her suddenly, tearing himself out of her arms and off the bed. It w
as painful—physically painful, and he watched as she sat up, befuddled, and beautifully disheveled, all at his hands. He was the monster he had feared he would become, the man who defiled her without the honor of being her husband. He shuddered with emotion and backed away even further, all the way until his back was to the door. She watched him, but he didn’t know what she saw. With one look, she asked for all the answers he couldn’t give her.

“
Olivia… this can’t happen again. This is why it is so dangerous to be near you. I am only a man and have limited control. I am warning you not to test me again.”

“
I’m not trying to test you, Colton. I’m trying to show you something. I know you think I am naive and sheltered, but there is one thing I know. From the time I was a small girl, you have been everything I think a man should be. I’m in love with you, Colton, desperately. I want you to see me not as that young girl but as a woman. I am a woman now, and I want to be with you.” By the time she was done with her confession, her hands were shaking so badly she tucked them under her skirt.

“
Livie... I can’t give you what you want.” His voice choked. He was stunned beyond words. It was everything he wanted to hear, and yet it was painful to know. How was he supposed to respond to such a declaration when he couldn’t say what he wanted to say? The only thing he could say would hurt her tremendously, and yet it was his only option.

“
Why?” She said in anguish.

“
You deserve so much more than me, Livie. I could never give you what you need.”

Olivia turned away. She had opened herself to him
, and she had been denied. Her heart was an open burning wound, but she would not cry in front of him. “Please leave. I need to be alone.”

His feet felt heavy as he turned to leave. He entered his small cabin and closed the door. Le
aning against it, he closed his eyes. He thought keeping his distance from her was the hardest thing he had ever done, but this was so much worse. She had said she loved him and wanted him, and he turned his back on her.

For the next two
days, Olivia pretended to blend into the wood. She saw Colton rarely. Willy was kept away as well, except when he brought her meals at morning, lunch, and dinner. In the afternoons, he would escort her on deck, show her around the main deck, and then back into the cabin she went. Most of the time she stared at the horizon, napped, and then when she couldn’t stand the tedium any longer, she rifled through Colton’s desk drawers and found a book to read. Willy, God bless his soul, gave her some paper and a pencil after asking if she liked to draw. Olivia was not a proficient artist, but it was something to do, something to keep her hands and mind busy instead of thinking about Devon… or worse, thinking about Colton. She preferred to be alone now.

When Willy had come to take her plates that evening, he told her they were making good time and should reach Amsterdam in another day.
Good. The sooner they found Devon, the sooner they would return to England, and Olivia could begin her life anew as a spinster. Becoming a companion to an eccentric woman up north sounded positively lovely now. After this final humiliation, she no longer cared about returning to society. What did town life have to offer her? Even seeing her friends sounded awful. Seeing Lilly happily married would be agonizing, and Lydia... well, she didn’t know what was going on with Lydia. Her only companion now was time. It moved steadily on and brought the end of this foolish voyage closer.