Storm Clouds Rolling In (42 page)

Robert had thrown aside his coat and was sprawled on the seat next to him.
Thomas watched him carefully, and leaned over to lay his hand on the younger man’s arm. “Are you awake?”

Robert opened his eyes.
“Unfortunately.”

Thomas smiled slightly.
“May I talk to you for a few moments?”

Robert nodded and sat up in his seat.
“What is it?”

Thomas struggled with how to express what he was feeling.
“A great darkness is about to fall on our country.” He paused as he heard the desperation in his own voice.

Robert nodded.
“I wish I could close my eyes and forget life for a while. Maybe if I forget it, all of this madness will disappear.” He sighed heavily.

“I’m not afraid for myself.
I am afraid for my family,” Thomas said quietly.

Robert scowled.
“I think I am afraid for all of us.”

Thomas leaned forward. “If war should come
, Virginia will be on the frontlines just because of where we are geographically. If war should come to Cromwell Plantation...” his voice tightened and then he regained control. “Robert, you need to know about—” Suddenly Thomas could not tell the secret he had kept all of his life, even from Abigail. He shook his head and sat back, staring out the window as he tried to pull his thoughts together. He was not old. Why was he suddenly feeling
very
old?

Robert leaned closer.

Thomas took a deep breath and turned back to the boy.
“I’m sorry.”

“It’s quite alright, sir.”

Thomas shook his head. “Will you help me take care of my family, Robert?”
“Of course I will, sir.”

Thomas fixed him with a steady gaze.
“You realize Carrie may never return the feelings you have for her?”

Robert swallowed hard and nodded.
“Yes, sir. That doesn’t matter, though. I will help take care of your family in any way I can.”

Thomas stared into his eyes, satisfied with what he saw.
“There may come a time when neither of us will be able to defend our homes, but as long as I can...” A long pause followed. “Robert, the next time you come to Cromwell, there is something you must know about.” Then he closed his eyes and sat back.

TWENTY-ONE

Carrie hugged herself excitedly as the train pulled into the Philadelphia station.
She could hardly believe she was actually here! Her neck was sore from craning to see everything she could on the way up. She had been determined to not miss a thing. Now that she was actually here in Philadelphia, her excitement, if it was even possible, had increased even more. She grabbed her small overnight bag and stepped off the train, instantly mesmerized by the clamor assailing her.

“There’s Aunt Abby
,” Natalie cried.

Carrie spun around and watched the middle
-aged woman approaching them. She immediately liked the strong lines of her face and the erect way she carried herself. Taller than many of the men surrounding her, Aunt Abby made no effort to make herself seem smaller. Her confident bearing said she had nothing to feel awkward about. Soft brown hair pulled back into a bun framed a pair of startling, bright gray eyes. Her clothing spoke of her wealth.

“Hello, girls
. Welcome to Philadelphia.” The voice greeting them was low and melodious, with a hint of humor lurking behind the musical tones.

Carrie felt herself drawn to this woman
—a complete stranger to her.

Natalie threw herself into her aunt’s arms. “Aunt Abby
. It’s so wonderful to see you. I can hardly believe I’m here at last!”

Abby laughed as she gave the excited girl a huge hug.
“It’s wonderful to have you here, Natalie.” Then she looked over her head. “Are you going to introduce me to your friends?” she asked in an amused voice.

Natalie pulled back with a laugh.
“That would be the proper thing to do, wouldn’t it?” She reached out and pulled Sally forward. “This is my best friend, Sally Hampton. And this is Carrie Cromwell.” She reached her other hand out and pulled Carrie into the circle. “She reminds me of you, Aunt Abby.”

Abby reached out a hand to both the girls, holding Carrie’s for a few moments after she had released Sally’s.
“Why does she remind you of me, Natalie?”

Carrie looked into her eyes and knew she had found a friend.
She didn’t know how to explain it. It was just a knowing that settled in her heart with surety. The older woman’s warm gray eyes sparkled with life and compassion, and Carrie knew instantly that great wisdom lurked behind the humor.

Natalie laughed.
“Because she has crazy ideas like you do. She’s not at all like me and Sally. She’s always asking questions and always doing things none of the rest of us would even consider.”

“Is that true?
Well then, Carrie Cromwell, you are most definitely welcome in Philadelphia.”

Carrie laughed along with the rest of them.
She wasn’t offended by Natalie’s analysis. She knew it was true. The idea of being like Aunt Abby intrigued her. Suddenly, the most important thing on her mind was to get to know this woman better.

Carrie’s chance came two days later.

“Carrie, there’s a new art exhibit in town. We’re leaving in about thirty minutes.”

Carrie groaned and shook her head.
“Not another art exhibit, Sally. We haven’t stopped for one minute since we’ve been here.”

“Well, of course not, silly.
We may never be in Philadelphia again. I intend to make the most of it.”

“You and Natalie go ahead, Sally.
I’m going to stay here and enjoy the Philadelphia skyline from my chair.” To emphasize her statement, Carrie walked over and sat down in the elegant rose-colored chair stationed by the tall window looking out on the street. She gazed for a moment at the clog of carriages before turning back to her friends. “I can think of nothing I would rather do more than sit right here in this chair.

Sally shrugged.
“Help yourself. We’ll fill you in on all the handsome men you miss.”

Carrie had just opened a book she had chosen from the extensive library when Aunt Abby arrived home.
She had insisted on all of them calling her Aunt Abby. She would have no formality in her home, she said.

“Carrie, did they abandon you?”
Aunt Abby had been out to a meeting and probably anticipated the house being empty when she returned. She stood by the open window and seemed to enjoy the breeze blowing gently through the room. Summer had settled on the city with a vengeance.

“I was abandoned by choice, Aunt Abby.
I hate cramming every second with activity. It gives you no time to savor what has already happened.”

Abby eyed her closely.
“I believe Natalie was right. You and I are much alike.” She looked toward the kitchen. “Would you like some lemonade?”

“That sounds wonderful.
I’ll help you.” The two of them moved into the kitchen and quickly squeezed some lemons. Carrie watched while Aunt Abby poured two large glasses of cold lemonade. “You don’t have servants?”

Abby looked up. “I have someone who comes in occasionally to cook and clean.
I find I am perfectly capable of taking care of most of my work—
all
of it actually if I weren’t so lazy at times,” she said with a chuckle. “Let’s move out to the porch to take advantage of that breeze.”

Carrie settled herself onto one of the lounge chairs on the porch, took a moment to savor the breeze, and leaned forward.
“Is it very scary being on your own?” she asked.

Abby eyed her with amusement.
“Planning on trying it yourself?”

Carrie flushed.
“No. Yes. I mean... I don’t know.” Suddenly embarrassed, she stared at the floor, unsure of what to say next.

Abby leaned forward and put her hand on Carrie’s leg.
“Tell me about yourself, Carrie. Who are you? What do you want?” Her voice was caring and compassionate.

Carrie looked up and managed a short laugh.
“That’s the problem. I don’t know!” She gazed into Aunt Abby’s warm eyes and tried to pull her thoughts together. She very much wanted this woman to know her. “All I know is that I don’t fit where I am supposed to belong.” She paused and looked up again. Somehow she knew Aunt Abby wasn’t going to respond. Not yet. She would just listen for a while.

Carrie took a deep breath and told Aunt Abby of her increasing restlessness on the plantation
and how she could not imagine spending her life there. “I feel I’ll burst if I have to live that life.”

“What is it you want, Carrie?” Abby asked quietly.

“I want to be a doctor,” Carrie said firmly
. She leaned forward, suddenly nervous. “Do you think I’m quite crazy?”

“Do you?”

Carrie laughed loudly.

“Did I say something funny?”

Carrie shook her head, smiling. “You remind me of one of our slaves. Her name is Sarah. She’s always been like another mother to me. She likes to ask questions, too.”

“Do you mind questions?”

“Sometimes,” Carrie admitted. “But only when I’m afraid of what the answer may be. Then is the best time for questions, though, I suppose.”

Aunt Abby smiled gently.
“It takes great courage to be honest when the honesty is pointed at yourself. I admire that.”

Carrie flushed again, this time with pleasure.
“You asked me earlier if I believed I was crazy to want to be a doctor. The answer is no. I fear sometimes it is impossible, but I believe I would be a good doctor. That’s one reason I’m here.”

“Oh?”

“My friend Robert has made arrangements for an old college buddy of his to show me around the University of Pennsylvania campus, including the medical school.              Abby sat back and studied Carrie for a long moment. “You will face many disappointments and heartaches.”

“You sound as if you speak from experience.”

Abby shrugged. “Anyone who goes against the conventions of their time will experience heartache. People fear change, Carrie, and they fight the things they are afraid of. You are going against the age-old tradition of the South. Add to that the fear people have of women having dreams and ambitions of their own...” She spread her hands and smiled gently. “That is a recipe for disappointment and heartache.”

“I have to do it.
It’s the only thing that makes any sense to me— no matter how hard it is.”

Abby smiled and reached forward to take one of her hands.
“I know, Carrie. And that is exactly why you’re
going
to do it. We only truly fight to make changes when we believe in those changes with all our heart. You have to want your dream badly enough to hold on through the bad times.” Abby looked off into the distance. “When my husband, Charles, died several years ago, it was expected I would return south to my family. I decided otherwise. Philadelphia is my home. My family implored me to return in order to maintain my respectability. The business world here was aghast when I decided to continue with my husband’s business. I was quite capable of running it, you know. It’s just that it wasn’t done. Many people worked against me to make the business fail—men who had been our friends before Charles died. I refused to go away, however, and finally they accepted me. It is still hard at times, but it’s worth it.” The last quiet words were spoken with a triumphant note.

Carrie looked at her with even greater admiration.
“Thank you for telling me that.”

Abby laughed suddenly.
“My goodness, dear, if we women fighting the tide don’t stand with each other, there is surely no hope.” She leaned forward and stared intensely into Carrie’s eyes. “Tell you what. There are many times you are going to find it difficult to believe in yourself. When you run into those times, try and believe in those who believe in you.
I
believe in you, Carrie. I believe you can make your dreams come true.”