Storm Clouds Rolling In (19 page)

Sadie smiled proudly as she reached out her hands for the papers.
Edging closer to the firelight, she inspected the papers. “Why, this be a newspaper! The
Richmond Enquirer
.” She gazed at Rose wide-eyed. “Where you get this paper, Rose?”

Rose just shrugged and smiled.
“Read it, Sadie.”

Sadie gave a short laugh.
“You be somethin’ else, girl. One o’ these days, though...” She scanned the lines of the paper and her eyes sharpened. “Humph. There can’t be no truth to this one!” Settling down she began to read. Her voice was halting and unsure when she encountered the big words, but she plowed on, determined to conquer this latest challenge.

PREFERS SLAVERY TO FREEDOM

              Some four or five years since, William Burnett, of this county, by will, emancipated his slaves. The will was made by the testator in extremis, and its validity was strongly contested. Many of the people of the county and all the members of the bar will remember the interesting and exciting incidents of the trial. The Negroes succeeded in the contest and established their right to freedom. In pursuance of the testator’s instructions, they were carried to the State of Ohio and there settled on a tract of land bought for their use and occupancy. It has been scarcely a year since they were snugly domiciled beyond the banks of the Ohio, in free territory.

On our return home from last Mecklenburg County Court, we met a
Negro wending his way along the plank road in the direction of Boydton. He stopped us with a hearty and cordial salutation. It was the same Isaac Burnett who had been foremost in the struggle for freedom before the circuit court of the county only some 18 months before. He informed us that, abandoning his interest in the lands purchased for him and his associates in Ohio, he had deliberately returned to Virginia for the purpose of enslaving himself to a gentleman of Boydton, where it was his wish to spend the balance of his life. He is young and healthy, of decided intelligence, and better calculated for freedom than the majority of Negroes. But he had become thoroughly satisfied from a fair experiment that it was a curse rather than a blessing in his case, and consequently, he deliberately resolved to change his condition to that of a slave. He gave us a most deplorable account of the present state and future prospects of the little free colony he left behind him in Ohio. He said all were dissatisfied and would return if they could. That they had made little or nothing since their arrival in Ohio, and that their chances to make anything were next to nothing. In fact, that their condition was truly pitiable.

Sadie’s voice ground to a halt.
Then it rose indignantly. “Why, who ever heard of such nonsense!”

Rose lifted her voice against the murmur of agreement filling the clearing.
“What if it’s true?”

Miles turned toward her.
“How could you say such a thing, Miss Rose?” he asked. “Who ever heard of a slave wanted to go back to slavery if he finally got hisself free?”

Rose looked at him thoughtfully.
She had spent many hours thinking about this. “What do you think it would be like if you were free, Miles?”

Miles looked at her carefully now.
“Well, I think it would be the greatest thin’ in the world. I would be responsible only for myself. I could come and go as I please. I could have horses of my own—not have to just take care of Marse Cromwell’s. I could have me a wife, maybe even find June.” His eyes clouded over as he thought of his wife, who had been sold a few years before to parts unknown.

“What if you didn’t have any money, Miles?
What if you never owned a horse of your own? What if no one wanted to be your wife? What if you had to work all the time just to survive?”

“That ain’t gonna happen, Miss Rose
.” Miles protested.

Rose persisted.
“But what if it did?
What if it did?
”

Miles gave a frustrated sigh.
Several long minutes passed while he stared into the fire. Finally, he looked up. “Then so be it. Even if I had nothing, I would have myself. I would have my freedom. That means more to me than anything. It would mean people would look at me and see another human being— not just a thing.”

Rose smiled tenderly.
“Hang on to that, Miles. You may need it someday.” She gazed intently at the rest of the group. “All of you need to be asking yourself that question. You say you want to be free. Why? Being free doesn’t necessarily mean all our troubles will be over. It just means we’ll have the opportunity to handle them on our own. The man in that story didn’t figure on freedom being hard. He thought it was the answer to all his problems. When he found out that it wasn’t, he ran back to what he had always known. My mama says it’s kind of like t Israel wanting to go back to Egypt. It was horrible, but at least they knew what to expect and they could always blame their misery on someone else.” She paused and looked around again. “I can teach you how to read and write. You have to teach yourselves how to think. You have to ask questions. Lots of them. But my mama says it doesn’t do any good to ask questions if you aren’t going to look hard for the answers. We’ve all got to be doing that. The day may be coming soon for some of you to be free. Are you sure that’s what you want? You’d better be.”

Rose’s little school stared at her in the darkness.
Flickering firelight illuminated the confusion on their faces. They had never heard Rose talk like this before. She had challenged them plenty of times, but she had never been quite so harsh with them. Rose felt a slight twinge of sympathy for her students, but she pushed it down. The questions she had thrown at them were important ones—ones that demanded answers. Daily, she battled the frustration that she had come up with the answers for herself, only to realize the answers made no difference.

Moses, watching Rose closely, knew exactly what she was doing.
His own mama had done the same for him. Even before his daddy had been killed, she had pestered him with questions. Nothing he ever said could be taken at face value. She had to know why he had said it, why he felt that way, and what he wanted to come from those feelings. He understood the group’s frustration, but he also understood Rose’s motive. His mama had told him that it was only when he stopped thinking for himself that he would be a slave. He could still hear her voice.
It’s only when they own your mind that they really own you, boy. They never owned your daddy. And they’ll never own me. I’m not a slave, boy. I’m a human being. I just happen to live in slavery
.

Moses thought back over the night.
He had wanted to turn around and run when he and Rose were walking through the dark woods. He knew he was committing a crime deserving of a beating— at least in his master’s eyes. His feet had kept him moving even though his heart screamed at him to run, to not do this thing that would guarantee enmity from the man Sarah had cautioned him about. Still, his feet had moved forward steadily, his heart pulling him toward a destiny that was murky darkness.

Moses wasn’t sure when he had started to give up.
He wasn’t sure when he had started to feel like a slave. But tonight, Jasmine had changed all that for him. If that little thing of a girl could read, well then, so could he. Watching her draw her letters carefully in the dirt had fired a determination in him. It was just a small flicker, to be sure, but at least it was burning. He thought he would never feel again after seeing his family led away from the auction block. Now, he had a dream that was slowly taking shape.

The rest of the night flew by as each student worked hard on their letters or took turns reading from the paper Rose had brought to school.
They didn’t care that they had to share. Anything to read was considered a miracle.

Rose settled back against a tree as the last of her friends slipped into the cover of darkness.
She knew they were all taking different paths through the woods and that they would all come out at a different place around the Quarters. They had become skilled at slipping undetected into their cabins. There may have been those who suspected what was going on, but so far none had revealed their secret.

Rose was tired.
Each day in itself was exhausting. Her work was endless. She knew she had it easier than many of her friends who were field hands and for that she was grateful, but it did nothing to ease the exhaustion with which she ended each day. Her little midnight school was where her heart was, but in spite of the joy she felt when one of her students was suddenly reading, the energy it took was draining.

“That’s a mighty big sigh.”

Rose started at the sound of Moses’s voice. She had almost forgotten he was there. He would come and go with her until he knew his way around in the woods at night.

Moses stared deeply into the waning flames.
“You got a dream?” His strong voice was both thoughtful and serious.

Rose looked at him, wondering if she should take the risk of telling him.
Would he make fun of her? She decided to be honest. “Yes, I have a dream.” Closing her eyes, she allowed it to take shape in her mind. She could see it all as clearly as if she were actually living it. “I’m going to be a teacher. I’m going to live where I’m free and I’m going to have a whole school of free black children who are eager to learn and break the shackles that have held them for so long. I’m going to have all the books and writing material I can use. I’m going to raise all my children in freedom. And I’m going to travel.” The dream continued to flood her mind. “I’m going to travel all over the North. I’m going to see New York. I’m going to Philadelphia and Boston. Maybe I’ll go all the way out to the Oregon Territory!” Suddenly, she stopped and laughed. “You must think I’m a fool,” she murmured, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t.

Moses shook his head.
“No. From where we be sittin’ right now your dreams seem impossible. But my mama used to say that’s what dreams were fer. To make the impossible seem possible. She believed dreams could come true. Somewhere’s along the way I quit believin’. Maybe it was that night I saw my daddy hangin’ from a tree. He died trying to make his dreams come true. I guess any I might have had died with him dat night. My mama tried to keep them goin’ but it just didn’t make no sense to me”. He stopped and stared at Rose thoughtfully. “But you...you gots what it takes to make your dreams come true.”

“What about you, Moses?
What do you want? Even if you quit believing in your dreams, you must still have some.”

“I wouldn’t had no answer for that till t’night.
But somethin’ stirred in me while I be here.” A deep silence fell as Moses struggled to put his feelings into words. “I’m gonna be free fo’ my daddy. An’ then I’m coming back. Comin’ back to get my mama and sisters no matter what it takes. One day we’s all gonna be free.”

Rose’s heart ached for him.
His next question caught her by surprise.

“You gonna be running off on that Underground Railroad?”

“No.” It hurt to even say the word and she caught her breath against the pain.

Moses looked at her in surprise.
“But you said yourself that it was people willing to help slaves be free. How come you gonna pass up a chance like that? I figured you’d be the first one to go.”

“Well, you figured wrong
.” Rose knew her voice was sharp. Moses’s question had stirred up the turmoil that had boiled in her soul all night.