Stolen Fate (20 page)

And so it begins.

Drayden comes by the bakery once a week and invites me to dinner. He also attempts chit-chat, which is kind of odd for him but endearing in the fact he’s trying to hold normal conversations with me.

He also starts to call me at home: checking in to see how everything is going, if I’m liking my new job and my new apartment, if there is anything I need. And each time, I assure him I’m doing well and I’m fine. We end up talking about the new projects he has going on at work and how his family is doing. We never touch on anything too deep for fear our bubble will burst and we’ll be thrown back into pain.

To say our relationship is complicated is an understatement. It didn’t start out as anything but one huge lie, only to be turned into a devastating tragedy. And now, we are trying to start over as if we don’t own our past.

But we do.

Our past is always going to be there to consume us at every turn. For every good thing which happens from this point on, our past is going to be lurking around the corner, teeth bared and ready to pounce.

But I don’t want to live with that unknowing fear anymore. It’s too much of an anchor and I want to be free. Free to live in oblivion. Free to live not knowing what can happen. Good or bad.

So, that’s why one day, about six weeks after he starts asking me, I accept Drayden’s offer to come to one of his family dinners. The look on his face melts my heart. He is so happy, probably the happiest I’ve ever seen him, and it’s wonderful to witness.

It’s funny. We’ve known each other for close to a year now, and this is the first time we’re casting out pure feelings. They aren’t tainted by any ulterior motives, no underlying deception. And quite honestly, I never thought we would be here.

Never.

But here we are.

~~~~

I’m in the process of getting ready for dinner when my cell phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Ess, it’s me.” It’s kind of nice having this sort of familiarity with him now. Plus the fact there’s no mistaking his sexy-as-sin voice. It’s so deep and come-hither-ish. Sometimes, I imagine him whispering in my ear, tickling my nerve endings with that rasp while I pleasure myself to the very thought of him.

But I digress.

“Hi. I was just finishing up getting ready.” I pause briefly. “Is it weird I’m a bit nervous?” I put the finishing touches on my outfit before heading out toward my living room, cell phone still glued to my ear.

“Why are you nervous? It’s not like you don’t know everyone.” There is silence on the other end of the phone. “Or are you nervous to be around me?” he asks.

I met his family on the day my life changed forever. Then I saw them a lot while I was in the hospital, then recovering back at Drayden’s house. They would stop by to see how I was doing but most of the time, I only visited with them in small increments, not wanting to see or talk to anyone really. The closest one to me now is Dela, and it’s mainly because we’re able to spend so much time together since I work at her bakery.

So no, the nervousness isn’t because of his family.

It’s because of him.

Because I’m uncomfortable answering him and telling him the truth, I deflect and ask him, “Are you nervous to be around me?”

“Of course not. Would I have kept asking you if I was?”

“Well, maybe you never thought I would say yes.” I’m smiling to myself because I’m always calling him out on his bull.

“I knew you would eventually say yes. Come on; it’s me, babe.” Now I know
he’s
the one smiling. I can hear it in his voice.

“You really are full of yourself, aren’t you?”

He laughs and proceeds to tell me why he’s actually calling me. “I was thinking I would pick you up for dinner tonight. This way you can have a drink and relax. You don’t have to worry about driving home or anything.”

I was fortunate enough to find a great deal on a used vehicle which fit nicely in my new budget. Drayden had argued with me, telling me I should have allowed him to buy me a newer, more reliable car, but I stuck to my guns. My six-year-old Chevy is perfectly fine for getting me from point A to point B.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine, really.” I’m touched he’s willing to go out of his way, yet again, but I want to be able to leave if it gets a little too weird. If it really
is
too soon for me to hang out with all of them, I need to know I hold the keys to my own escape.

“I insist. I’ll bring you home whenever you want to leave.” Is he reading my mind now?

“No,
I
insist. I’ll drive my own car to your house, and I’ll drive my own car home when I’m ready to leave.” I can hear him huffing over the phone, not disguising his frustration at my refusal. “Why are you getting so mad?” I ask him, not wanting to mask over this new issue.

“I’m not. I just wanted to pick you up, that’s all.”
Is he pouting?

“You want to get me drunk so I’ll stay over,” I teasingly say. Holy shit! I don’t even know why I said that. Oh, my God. I could die right now.

“Well…” He’s flustered. He’s never flustered. I think I hit the nail on the head with my little outburst.

“Dray,” I start. “I’m not ready for something like that. I …” He cuts me off before I can go any further.

“I’m messing with you, Essie. Of course it isn’t my intention. However, now that’s all I can think about, so thank you.”

I have to get off this phone before there are any more uncomfortable words exchanged between us. But somehow, I know this won’t be the end of it.

“I’ll see you soon.” I hang up the phone without even saying goodbye. I know it’s rude, but I had no other choice in the matter.

The evening with his family is going really well. Everyone is there and the conversation is flowing nicely, talking about everything from the weather to movies and sports. Granted, I zone out when the men start discussing which football team has the best defense.

Drayden and I seem to be dancing around each other, wanting to see what the other one is up to without making it too obvious. Every now and again, our eyes will meet and a smile will quickly form then drop, then we’ll continue on with whatever conversation we’re presently engaged in. We think we’re being inconspicuous, but Vivian and Eli notice almost right from the start.

“Why don’t you guys just get together already? The tension in the air is something I don’t want to witness, especially since I’m not gettin’ any at the moment.” Eli is standing right behind me, talking low into my ear. He startles me at first but once I register his words, I’m embarrassed. And he knows it. All he does is laugh and walk away, but not before squeezing my shoulder and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

My head is down so I never even realize Drayden witnessed the entire exchange between us. When I look up, I’m shocked to see he’s a little more than annoyed. His body is rigid and his jaw is clenched. He cuts into me with his dark gaze, walking toward me as if I have the faintest idea of what’s going on. But once he’s practically on top of me, his features soften.

I know he’s trying to rein in his anger before speaking. He really
is
trying to be different with me. It’s evident in how he speaks to me and how he respects my boundaries now. Before, he would have been ranting and raving all over the place, not giving a shit who was within our vicinity to witness his craziness. He would have called me some sort of name and dragged me off somewhere.

But everything is different now.

We’re
different.

Individually and together.

“What were you and Eli talking about?” His tone is calm. Too calm. It’s in that moment, I realize Drayden is still dealing with jealousy issues when it comes to his brother and me. There’s absolutely nothing for him to be jealous of, but I won’t get anywhere if I even bring it up. He’s too stubborn, and he’s going to feel what he’s going to feel.

I look up into his tense face and put him out of his misery. “He was merely commenting on the palpable tension in the air between you and me.”

“We’re not mad at each other,” he blurts out. “So what the hell is he talking about?”

“I don’t think he’s talking about
that
kind of tension, Dray.” I smile slightly before looking back down at the ground. It takes him a good minute before he understands.

“Oh,” he says quickly. “
Ohhhhh
,” he says again, fully getting the meaning this time. He lifts his hand and places it underneath my chin, lifting my face so he can look directly into my eyes. His touch practically sets my body on fire. I love this Drayden. He’s gentle and kind. “Well, he’s not wrong, Essie. Anyone with two eyes can see there’s something brewing between us. Hell, it’s been there the entire time. Only now, it’s not hidden behind anger and betrayal.”

Leaning down, he places a soft gentle kiss on my mouth, teasing my lips with his sweetness. He pulls back quickly, realizing his family is now watching us, but I know he did it more for my benefit than for his.

He frees me and walks back over to his brothers, Dex and Cal, who he was having some sort of heated debate with before he broke away to come and talk to me. Even though there is physical space between us again, I can still feel his touch on my lips, and it’s as if he’s still caressing me from all the way across the living room.

At some point, I make my way to the kitchen to grab myself another drink. One of the smaller nephews runs into the room after me. He’s being chased by his older sibling, so he isn’t paying much attention to anything except escaping whatever fate he’s in for if his brother catches him. I turn away from the fridge right at the exact moment the boy collides with my stomach. He doesn’t hurt me but he looks stunned, not believing he just slammed into me. His little hands are still resting on my stomach, feeling around for something.

Then his small, innocent brown eyes make their way up to my face. I’m smiling down at him when he says, “My mommy told me you had a baby in your belly. Where is it?” His voice is like an angel’s, but his question is one posed from the devil himself.

It tears me apart.

My heartbeat picks up its pace and my smile falls instantly. I back away from him but not quick enough before Bridgette walks into the kitchen to witness our little interaction. She sees her son’s hands on my belly and then she sees the look on my face, the tears I’m trying to hold at bay.

But I fail.

The tears fall and I run from the room. I run down to my old bedroom and slam the door behind me. Throwing myself on the bed, I release all the tension and anticipation I’ve been holding on to since the moment I walked through those doors tonight. His small voice keeps playing over and over in my head, torturing me with every tick of the clock.
My mommy told me you had a baby in your belly. Where is it?

My head is buried in the pillow so I don’t even hear anyone come into the room. I feel a soothing hand on my shoulder and when I raise my head, I’m relieved to see it’s Dela. I don’t think I can handle reliving what happened with Drayden. Not right in this moment.

“Are you okay, honey? Bridgette told me what happened.” She’s rubbing my back, trying to take the pain away, but it isn’t really doing the trick. I appreciate her thoughtfulness, though.

“I need a minute, okay?” When she doesn’t make a move to leave, I say, “I’ll be fine, really. I’ll be right out.”

“All right, but if you need me just yell, okay?”

“Okay,” I say with a small, wilted smile.

I’m alone for a whole five minutes before there is a knock on the door. Before I can answer, the handle turns and the door is pushed open. Drayden is standing in the doorway with a look of concern written all over his face. He’s still, not saying a word.

Eventually, he clears his way inside, making sure to shut the door tightly behind him to give us some privacy. The bed dips slightly from his weight and I’m instantly engulfed in his strong arms. He turns me around and brings his lips down to my forehead, kissing me once before wrapping me fully in his protective, warm embrace.

It’s too much.

I sob.

He rocks us back and forth, whispering soothing words to try and get me to calm down. Eventually, it works. I push away from his looming body long enough to wipe the tears from my face, but not before his lips meet my cheek. He lingers a little too long. When he pulls away, we stare at one another, not knowing quite what to do or how to act. Then he leans back in, this time his lips resting on mine.

At first it’s comforting, mirroring the kisses he’s placing on my forehead and temple, but just as quickly it turns into something more.

And I welcome the distraction.

I part my lips and he takes the invitation, slipping his delicious tongue inside my mouth, tasting me. Claiming me. His hands move to cup my face, keeping me in place as he ravages me.

I reach over and run my hands down his chest, over his stomach. Without thinking, I advance even lower, brushing against his very obvious excitement.

Drayden breaks the kiss momentarily. “I can’t take this anymore, Essie,” he groans into my mouth. “I need you.” He’s back to nipping and sucking my lips, swirling his tongue with my own until both of us have to come up for some much needed air.

The second time we break apart, I’m able to let some coherent thoughts enter into my lust-induced haze. “Dray, we can’t do this.”

“Why? Why can’t we do it? Why don’t you want this, Essie?” He looks hurt at the thought I’m rejecting him yet again.

“I
do
want this. That’s why it has to stop now. I’m not ready for something to happen between us. Not yet.” I move to get off the bed but he stops me. His hand circles my waist and holds me to him.

He looks at me, trying to read my mind, but it’s useless. And when he knows the moment has truly passed, he withdraws his hand and stands up. “Take your time and come back out when you’re ready.” He doesn’t look back at me as he makes his way out of the bedroom.

The rest of the night passes by with us shooting looks toward each other. Looks of unease, only smiling in the way which comes about as a result of an uncomfortable exchange. I know his mother witnesses some of these looks, but she never comments on them. Not to me, anyway.

Finally, when I’m both emotionally and physically drained, I say my goodbyes and head out toward my car. Of course, Drayden walks me out to make sure I’m okay. I’ve only had one indulgence, a couple hours ago, so I know he isn’t checking to see if I’ve had too much to drink. He’s checking on my emotional status.

“Can I take you to dinner, Essie? Tomorrow night?” He has somehow managed to pin me against the side of my car, his hand resting on my waist as his legs trap my lower body. And just like that, we’re back to where we were before.

A place of uncertainty.

I want him so badly, but I know it can never be. I decide to accept his invitation so I can explain once and for all why we can never be together. He has to stop this sweet torture and allow us to both move on.

“Okay. But I will meet you.”

“No, you won’t, and I won’t hear another word about it. I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know the time.” Then he smiles and kisses me quickly before removing his body, allowing me to get into my car.

I drive home with all different emotions floating around, confusing and distracting me.

I hope tomorrow goes as planned.