Stink: The Incredible Shrinking Kid (6 page)

Stink raced down the steps, two at a time.

Mom brought out twenty cupcakes on a big plate. They each had a letter on them, and all together, they spelled HAPPY JAMES MADISON DAY.

Dad lit the candles.

Everybody sang the James Madison State Song. Stink blew out all twenty candles. He ate an
M,
an
A,
and half of a
D.
Two and a half cupcakes!

“Presents!” said Judy.

“Presents? It’s not even anybody’s real birthday,” said Stink.

“It’s James Madison’s un-birthday,” said Judy.

“Dad and I made you a card,” said Mom. “A Presidents’ Day card.”

“It was kind of short notice,” said Dad. “So we printed some stuff off the Internet.” Stink opened the card. It had pictures of short people.

At the bottom of the card, Mom and Dad had printed in big letters:

YOU’RE ONLY AS SHORT AS YOU FEEL!

“I found the famous Wrestler Guy,” said Judy.

“Thanks!” said Stink.

“Now mine,” Judy said. Stink ripped it open. “It’s a fun mirror!” Judy told him. “From Rocky’s old magic kit. I made it into a presidents mirror. One side is the James Madison side and the other is the Abe Lincoln side.”

Stink looked at himself in the James Madison side of the mirror. He looked super-shrimpy, and wide as a warthog. Everybody cracked up.

“Try the other side!” said Judy. Now Stink looked skinny as a pencil and tall as Abe Lincoln.

“UN-Presidents’ Day is better than Presidents’ Day anytime,” said Stink. “WOW backward!”

“W-O-W backward is
wow,
too,” said Judy.

“Exactly,” said Stink.

“Thanks, you guys,” said Stink. “For all the cupcakes and presents and stuff.”

“The James Madison party was Judy’s idea,” said Dad.

“Yeah. Are you feeling any taller yet?” Judy asked.

“Maybe a little. Especially when I look in the Abe Lincoln mirror!”

“You know, you weren’t always short,” said Dad.

“Really?” asked Stink.

“Really?” asked Judy.

“You weren’t short when you were a baby,” said Mom. “You were long. Twenty-two inches long.”

“What about me?” asked Judy.

“You were only about nineteen inches,” said Dad.

“HA!” said Stink. “You mean
I
was taller than
Judy
when I was born?”

“I guess you could say that,” said Mom.

“HA, HA!” Stink elbowed Judy. “Shorty Pants!”

“ROAR!” said Judy.

“More cupcakes, anyone?” Mom asked. “Oops. Almost forgot. An envelope came for you, Stink. Special delivery. Looks like it’s from the governor.” Mom handed Stink the envelope.

“Open it! Read it out loud!” said Judy.

Stink read the letter.

“A five-thousand-dollar bill!” said Stink. “Double, triple, quadruple cool!”

The medal was a copper-colored coin in a plastic case. On one side it said
James Madison, President of the United States, 1809.
On the other, it had a picture of two hands shaking in friendship.

Stink passed around his brand-spanking-new James Madison friendship coin for everybody to see. While his family “oohed” and “aahed,” Stink picked up the presidents mirror. He turned it to the tall side and looked at his reflection.

Everybody says growing takes time,
thought Stink.
It’s all part of the life cycle. One day, it’s going to happen to me. Me! Mr. James Moody!