Still Mine (17 page)

“Time to earn my keep?”

“Not tired of walking the perimeter?”

He had her there, she admitted. It couldn’t hurt to see what he had in mind. Who knows? Maybe she would find an opportunity to make a call to Locke. While her quarters now had a phone, it wouldn’t allow her to call off base. Trying that had only connected her with a base operator who offered her another “classified” excuse. Since she wasn’t bound by enlistment papers to keep silent about what she viewed on the post, she didn’t have calling privileges.

And Jo very much wanted to call off base. She wasn’t ready to give up on her life without a struggle. Besides, she felt Paul breathing down her neck. Her dreams of the man had transformed into nightmares of impending doom, their last moments together a positive sign of just how disastrous it would be to remain where he might get into a closed room with her again.

Fine, she was chicken. But she wasn’t going to play doormat for him.

And she wasn’t getting any closer to escaping by sitting out here. Maybe she should try gaining a little trust. The fact that she would be employing deception didn’t bother her. These people had been deceiving her for the past six years and she owed them nothing.

“Got it, but I’m not calling you ‘boss’.” Turning on her heel, she moved towards the tarmac. Nolan took the lead the second they touched the blacktop, leading her into the command center.

She’d thought that being a third wheel was bad, but settling into her new duties offered up a more disturbing situation.

Fitting in. A job, quarters and her husband bent on resuming their marriage when he returned. It could work, it could be normal, and it just might suck her into its grip. Like a huge fork in the road, but where the two directions split off, there was no middle ground. Once she started down one path, she couldn’t pop it into reverse and the truth was…

She was too damn scared of being dumped with nothing and no one again. He was right about one thing. She was too weak to take that again.

The thing about security work was this; ninety-five percent of it was downright boring. Background checks, endless hours of videotape and countless other paper trails to pore over. It took a determined mind to keep going, always searching for that one link that would tie your case into a neat bundle.

But Jolene had other goals to keep her mind from fogging over. Durant was providing her all the tools she needed to master her current dilemma. She just needed to be patient.

Working through personnel files looking for problems was boredom incarnate. But it kept her sitting at a desk surrounded by the rest of the base security. After two days, curious gazes no longer moved over her as often. Nolan’s people were becoming accustomed to her and Durant held too many duties to watch her continuously.

Everything Jo could possibly want sat within reach of her fingertips. Phones, computers, even outgoing mail bins. Her eyes focused on those bins. The mail was scanned for content before being metered and sent off base. Hundreds of letters lay nestled together, giving Jo her best avenue for making contact with Locke. One more plain envelope slipped in with so many others could make an easy trip out of her prison.

A wave of sadness caught her by surprise. Once she left here, she very much doubted she would ever see Paul again. Regret caught her in its grip as she struggled with the unexpected emotion.

Her pride lifted its head to decide the issue. Was she so pathetic as to want a man who didn’t want her in return? Her husband was busy building a life for himself that had no room for her.

Being rejected once should have been enough. Staying here would gain her nothing but a repeat performance. The stark logic of that idea sent Jolene searching for the paper to write her letter. Maybe her life wouldn’t include her husband, but she had friends and colleagues.

Nobody had it all.

That didn’t stop her from wishing for it anyway.

She folded her letter and slipped it among several others that were neatly stacked on the edge of her desk. The first thing she was going to do when she made it back home was take Tait up on that offer of a date! Jo would willingly mourn a beloved husband, but she wasn’t going to sit at home just because a man had rejected her.

Jo swiveled around in her chair to look at Nolan. “You have got to be kidding.”

“Do I look like I even know the meaning of that word, ma’am?”

His face was an expressionless mask, employed to annoy the crap out of her. “You win that point.”

Nolan offered her a smirk as he reached forward and hooked her upper arm. She was on her feet before she got a protest past her lips.

“All right, Goliath, hands off.” Taking several steps away from the man, she glared at his determined stance. “You have an epidemic of jerk-itis on your post. No need to thank me for bringing it to your attention. With a little effort, you could avoid it manifesting into a chronic condition.”

His jaw tightened as he began moving. Jo started walking, not because she wanted to join her husband, but because she wasn’t going to be delivered to him once again.

“Civilians have serious adjustment issues to this lifestyle. That’s a major part of the reason why you were cut loose.”

She froze in midstep, whipping around. Frank honesty decorated his features now. “Oh, so let me see if I have this correct. If I don’t like your rules, maybe I shouldn’t be so pissed about being told my husband was dead? Because that little deception saved me from having to live like this six years ago. Which boils neatly down to you guys were right, I can’t take it?”

Nolan stood in place, but this time his face was molded into a somber expression that almost looked envious. A ripple of shame moved through her as she recognized that even a bad marriage might look good to a man who didn’t have anyone at all. He shrugged it off faster than she did, masking his feelings.

“I get it, Deputy. No one blames you for being upset about being deceived, but you can’t hide on this post. It’s too small and I need it running smoothly. That includes you not getting killed on my watch. Which is 24/7.” He pointed towards one of the hangars across the blazing tarmac. “You will be transferred around this post to different positions, randomly, until I’m satisfied that no one is gunning for you. So don’t get comfortable. I will do it personally, just in case I have more rats on my command.”

“Well, at least that beats being told everything is classified.”

The major looked exasperated. Jo couldn’t quite smother her amusement. “Come on, Durant, that little explanation couldn’t have hurt you too bad.”

“The sleeping arrangements are up to you, ma’am.”

Her face flamed and she smothered a groan. There was a tiny smirk of retribution decorating the major’s lips as she turned and marched towards the hangar in question. The heat was blistering today, frying her unprotected head as she made a path towards the shade provided by the hangar. Nolan grasped her uninjured shoulder just as she reached the doors.

She turned to find her gun and badge being offered to her.

“Never let it be said that I don’t enjoy making sure it’s a fair fight, ma’am.”

Pulling her pistol out of its holster, she checked the clip. The bullets were neatly stacked, just the way she’d last seen her sidearm.

“Firing range is on the north end of the post. Check the schedule for open time and you can play all you want. Ammunition is there too. I’ve signed orders for your requests to be filled. Ross Locke has one hell of a reputation, so if he’s confident in your abilities I will extend you weapons privileges on my post.” His gaze sharpened. “Behave, Deputy, or I’ll take your toys away again and strap a beacon on your leg.”

She snorted at him. Her gun did look like a child’s compared to the large handgun strapped to his hip. Nolan pointed a warning finger at her.

“But don’t disappoint me, either. The next time I have to come after you, Deputy, I expect to find a body of at least one bad guy. You’ve got a badge to uphold the honor of.”

Clipping her holster onto her belt, she slid the safety on before placing the pistol in the leather sheath. A satisfied grin lifted her lips as she contemplated the rules Durant was outlining. It was sure a change of pace from civilian law enforcement—just discharging her gun would entail a ten-page report. Hitting someone meant a review board. “You can bet on it.”

“Good. You can stop dragging my men to the latrine with you as long as you think your hands are up to firing that sidearm, ma’am.”

Pulling the gun, she aimed it across the landing pads, lining the sights up perfectly with a steady hand. “Got it covered.”

“You seem to think so.” Nolan watched her. There was a serious edge to his gaze that sent a shiver down her spine. “The kind of rats you face out here won’t give you time to think twice or talk them into placing their hands on their heads so you can arrest them. Someone wants to use you as bait. If you need that sidearm, remember to take them out before they get the chance to disarm you.”

The hard tone of his voice impacted her. This wasn’t a joke. All hurt feelings aside, it was very real. She may not like being within arm’s reach of Paul but it beat being held hostage and used against him. Nausea twisted her gut as she considered becoming his Achilles heel.

“One last thing, Deputy Benate. Let’s make sure we’re clear on one fact.” Nolan watched her holster the gun. “Your husband isn’t a, quote, ‘bad guy’. Got that?”

“I understand your point.”

The tight control the major held over his expression broke for a second.

“Let me tell you a little something, ma’am. I’ve met a fair number of women who have folded flags on their dressers, but you’re among the few that have been given the chance to overcome that barrier and touch their man once again. Maybe you need to spend a little less effort chewing over the details of just how that happened.”

Nolan turned and left her standing with her thoughts. While she secured her holster, she watched his wide shoulders as he moved back towards his command center. The few ground personnel braving the midday heat cut him salutes before they turned their backs on him.

She got it.

That softly spoken reprimand only a dedicated man like Durant could make stick. It was mighty easy to toss away what you held in your hand, but that didn’t leave you with anything.

Emptiness wasn’t warm. It was bleak and lonely, with a whole lot of time to regret rash decisions. Since hindsight was perfect, you got the added bonus of noticing just how badly you’d reacted when you had nothing but your own company.

She’d had six years of lonely nights to compare her last moments with Paul to.

But without her temper, she was left with a longing that threatened to destroy the world she’d built. Would the phoenix rise from the ashes? It was a hell of a gamble to take. One that weakened her knees as she turned and entered the hangar.

A silvery-hulled aircraft sat on the far end of the covered space. Rolling stairs were pushed up close to it. She listened to the faint conversation of men working on it. Computers were balanced on knees, cables linking into the cockpit and open utility doors. The metal sides of the hangar echoed with their voices.

She couldn’t identify the aircraft. In fact, it didn’t look much like anything she’d ever seen except in a movie. A fictional plane didn’t have to meet the reality of gravity in order to fly. But this one did. It was sleek and mean-looking, shouting out the fact that it was the cutting edge of technology. Nolan’s classified attitude suddenly fit very well.

“Meet Ruby.” Paul appeared beside her, gripping her belt at the center of her back. He leaned down and inhaled next to her ear. A shiver shot down her spine. The physical reaction kicked in instantly, bypassing every well-thought-out plan of action she’d come to during his absence.

“Next to you, Ruby’s the only other female that has wormed her way into my life.”

A soft chuckle escaped her lips as her gaze swept the ultramodern aircraft again. She might be ignorant of its capabilities, but it was still mighty impressive. Even to a novice like her. “Well, Paul, I guess if you had to fall for a mean piece of machinery, you sure did pick a worthy item.”

Shifting her gaze towards him, she felt a shiver ripple over her skin, awakening all the nerve endings. Her nipples drew tight as her gaze couldn’t resist the urge to linger on his mouth. His sharp gaze watched her staring at him and hunger flickered across their dark surface.

“But most guys get a Harley.” There it was again, that impulse to jest with him. Poke fun at him just for the joy of tugging on his tail. It was a unique sort of bond. A game inspired by a playful nature that you really only shared with a man you trusted. They might get annoyed but they didn’t cross the line into true anger.

“And listen to their wives gripe about the time they spend with the bike. I designed and built Ruby. She’s an original.” There was a good-natured tone to his words and she discovered that she’d missed it as well.

She stepped forward, testing his hold. His fingers hesitated before releasing her. Looking back at him, she considered the three-quarter-length coat he was wearing again. Still black but identical to a doctor’s jacket. “Well, you didn’t give me the chance to get jealous over her.”

The conversation in the hangar had died away and she turned her head to find the other men watching them. Paul snorted behind her and they aimed their attention back to their laptops and cables. Paul captured her arm and tugged her towards a door set into the hangar wall. It led to an office. Rustic, with clipboards hung in neat rows up the length of one wall. Most of them rusty from nonuse but still placed neatly in line. There wasn’t a speck of dust on even the top one.

Paul pushed her right up against the far wall, caging her with his body. She thrust her hands out to keep his chest from connecting with hers.

“Back off, Paul. The sex part isn’t what’s broken between us.”

He froze, his gaze lowering to her lips. The skin tingled as she anticipated his kiss. His elbows bent and her breath caught in her throat as a whisper of his kiss touched her mouth. Her nipples tightened, tingling and begging to be touched. She stared into his black eyes, witnessing the battle for control in them.