Still Mine (11 page)

One of his arms slid down her body to press her hips into firm contact with his length. She’d managed to tilt her bottom away from his body, but now her belly was pressed to his as his fingers smoothed over her buttocks. The hard shape of his cock tossed more fuel onto the flames licking over her body.

“You have one hell of a nerve, Paul. Get your paws off of me.”

The heat from his body burned along every point of contact. Jolene wiggled but his body seemed to surround hers. His lips curled back to display an even row of teeth.

“I’ve waited six years to touch you again, Jo.” His embrace was solid, trapping her completely. He gazed at the blush still heating her face and his lips curved upwards.

“The chemistry between us is amazing. I think I forgot how potent you are.”

“This isn’t about our effect on each other, Paul.” She tried to turn, maybe get her shoulder braced against his chest, so her belly wouldn’t be pressed against his erection. But he held her steady, his eyes glittering.

“It has always been about the way our bodies crave one another.” Hard and edged with determination, his voice dipped into a husky tone she recognized from their bedroom. Her body shivered as she felt the first flickers of heat deep inside her passage. His nostrils flared slightly, almost like he could smell that rising heat.

“I’d forgotten how good you smell. And feel.” His head dipped to investigate the smooth column of her neck. A sharp gasp crossed her lips. She stretched away from him, arching her spine to escape his warm breath. The brush of it against her bare flesh was too much. She couldn’t control the heat it unleashed.

His chest rumbled beneath her hands as he chuckled. “What’s the matter, baby? Can’t you ignore it…me?”

A shudder was her only response. One of his hands slid up her spine, pushing her back towards his body. Her breasts ached for freedom from the confinement of her bra.

Paul closed his eyes and inhaled next to her neck, lingered over her warm skin. “I’m failing completely at ignoring you. In fact, there’s nothing else on my mind except the way you feel against me right now.” He lifted his head and she watched arousal fill his eyes.

“The way your nipples are poking into me or the slight scent of your body heating up. It’s all completely intoxicating.”

“This is insane. Let me go.”

“Your body isn’t telling me to let you go, Jolene.” His thumb suddenly settled directly over one of her nipples. Pleasure shot out from the contact, making her squirm against his hold again. He stroked it and a smile appeared on his lips.

“Your body seems very happy to see me.”

He was too damn right. Need twisted through her. Remaining still was an effort because she wanted to wiggle and press against him. Impulses were racing through her so fast her brain couldn’t manage to think about each of them.

“I’ve forgotten what you taste like.” Dark with need, his voice triggered a surge of temptation to feel his kiss again. Just one more time, before she had to return to being alone.

His head descended towards her. Jo pulled back, but he simply followed her, the hand stroking her nipple smoothing up her neck to hold her in place for his kiss.

She set her teeth against his entry. Paul slowly teased the flesh beneath his own, enticing her to relinquish her will. It wasn’t a hard smashing of his lips against hers. No, her husband knew a lot about kissing and he took his time, seducing her into relaxing her jaw. Tasting her lower lip, before letting his attention linger on her upper one, gently sliding along the tender skin. Her lips parted and Paul took the taste that he sought.

His kiss wasn’t soft. It was a solid demand from an equally hardened man. He pressed her mouth open as the tip of his tongue slipped over her lower lip before teasing her own tongue with a long stroke. Her heart tripled its pace. Her hands refused to resist the temptation to spread wide and discover what his chest felt like. Heat flowed down her spine and into her belly where her clit awakened with a hunger that scared her with its intensity.

Jo struggled to retain control. It was slipping away like so many grains of sand. The tide washed in and carried her out with it. Over the years, his taste had faded but now was instantly recognized. Knowing she was heading for a complete loss of control was worse than simply being swept into insanity.

What was she doing?

She pulled her mouth away from the kiss, her breath ragged as she stared at the hunger on his face.

This man was a stranger, yet her body knew him. Uncertainty took hold and she shoved at his body despite the pain it caused her. His arms didn’t let her go but his head lifted as he locked stares with her.

“Let go.” She spoke softly, trying to hide the need coating her voice.

“Why?” The fingers on the back of her neck began massaging the tightly corded muscles, easing the tension as she fought the urge to lift her chin and let his hands soothe her.

“Because you left me.”

“No, I tried to make sure that my projects didn’t imprison you.” The hand on the back of her head held her steady and his dark eyes flared with emotion. “I tried to spare you being imprisoned along with me. I don’t blame you for not liking it, but you’re here now.”

A glimmer of need lit his eyes and it touched the ball of hurt she’d carried around since his death. That painful separation she’d never healed from in spite of believing it was impossible to be reunited with him. But she felt the beat of his heart as her nipples tightened further, begging for another touch.

“You let me bury you.”

She balled up her fist and hit him. She yelped as pain spiked up her hand from her burns. At least the pain pushed some of the ragged desire down, clearing the way for her to think.

“Would it have been better if I had just told you I found another woman?”

She hissed at him, jealousy flaring through her. “Is there?” She cussed as the question slipped past her lips. “Don’t answer that, because I don’t care.”

Jo shook her head. She refused to let herself fall into his embrace so simply. Six years of loneliness flared up inside her as his kiss lingered on her lips. A kiss she’d longed for every stinking night since he’d shoved her out of his life.

He cupped her chin, raising her face so that their gazes could fuse again. “Yes, you do care.”

His voice was thick with emotion but she was too frazzled to make sense of it.

“Husbands and wives talk through problems, Paul. They don’t dump each other.” She clamped the rest of her hurt-fueled words behind her teeth. She felt so exposed standing there with her nipples hard and need turning her cheeks red. Placing a hand in the center of his chest, she pushed gently. “Give me some space.”

His arms opened, releasing her as she backed away from him, her body protesting every millimeter.

“I didn’t dump you, Jo.” His shoulders shook slightly, like it took a great deal of effort to keep from grabbing her again. “You may not like what I did, but I made sure that you didn’t think I’d left you for another woman.”

She liked the sound of his reason too much. “I need to think.”

The tic returned to his jaw. His hands turned white as he gripped his forearms to keep them crossed over his chest. “Fine. Think about who put that slug through your shoulder. Those are the sort of people I wanted to keep you safe from. I didn’t want you to have to know they were even alive.”

Turning, she called on the last shreds of her strength to walk away. It was tempting to believe his words about wanting to protect her. Doing it would restore him in her eyes, transform him back into that man she loved so very much.

“And make sure you think about how good it feels to be back in each other’s arms. I know I enjoyed that kiss, so much it hurt to give you that space you wanted. It sure felt a lot better than the last year of cold nights I’ve spent in bed alone. Think about that, baby.”

Oh, she’d be thinking about it alright. She didn’t have a chance in hell of escaping the lingering heat burning through her. Need, want, desire…they twisted around inside her. It would be so simple to take the release she craved—hell, the man was her husband, right? But she couldn’t tumble so far down the steps of her pride. The deputy inside her refused to compromise just for the physical gratification, even if six years of celibacy were feeling mighty heavy on her shoulders at the moment. Sure, she loved him, but she didn’t trust him.

Her own good? Oh right. He’d let someone tell her he was dead. Dead. She’d stood through a funeral trying to keep her emotions leashed behind the mask of a proud serviceman’s wife, just to make sure she didn’t shame him in that last required duty. It had been the longest damn day of her life.

Jerk.

But the ache from her shoulder refused to let her dismiss his words completely. She couldn’t write his attitude off as delusional since she was carrying a gunshot wound around courtesy of being married to him. A jolt of loneliness speared through her heart as she forced her feet to keep moving.

She’d be thinking about him, no doubt about it.

There was little chance of escaping him, now or possibly ever.

The night in front of her looked longer than a decade.

His own breath was coming in rasps. Her taste clung to his lips as his gaze lingered on the sway of her hips. Paul took three steps after her before he forced himself to stop. If he caught her again he wouldn’t release her. When they had first met, the desire to have her under him had been intense. Now it was obsessive. He wanted that hard nipple between his lips and her soft flesh clasping the erection that was pushing against the confinement of his pants. Hell, he wanted to pin her down and feel her body with every inch of his own.

But it wouldn’t be tonight. She’d shivered in his arms, as lost in their combined chemistry as he was, but it wasn’t enough. A dry chuckle escaped as he let his lips curve up. Yeah, well, he’d always needed her surrender. The truth was, he hadn’t had to marry her. She’d been too innocent, too trusting and far too responsive to his touch for her to resist very long. If getting her on her back had been his goal, he’d have burst her cherry by the third night they’d known each other.

That wasn’t romantic but it was true. He hadn’t taken her like that. Overwhelming her into quick sex hadn’t been enough. It was the thing about Jo that clung to his heart for six long years. The unmistakable urge to know that she surrendered to him. What he really craved was the sharing of love between them. Intimacy was something that he’d only experienced with Jo. Rubbing her clit until she begged for release wasn’t the same thing as seeing her eyes shine with affection and the desire to make love with him.

Love. It could destroy men or drive them to feats of heroism. At the moment, it was ripping a trail across his heart as he watched her walk away.

But there was nowhere for her to hide from him either. Starting forward again, Paul made his way down the hill. Jo had reached the landing pad and turned out of sight. Her quarters were on the opposite side of the post from his own. His cock twitched as he surveyed the length of asphalt between their beds. He would have to see about changing that.

The reason was simple. He had a choice. Relief swept through him. Jo might be pissed as hell at him, but she knew the truth now. The future was suddenly full of possibilities that included her beside him. It hit him hard enough to make him stagger. He hadn’t realized how stark his life was, until Jo walked back into it.

Chapter Five

There really was a God! Even if the messenger He sent happened to be in the form of Goliath, Jolene was still finding herself grateful. Neatly placed on the desk in her room was a cold dinner along with a small bottle of medication. At the moment, the man almost qualified for sainthood.

Returning to her quarters had been the only action she seemed capable of accomplishing. Standing in the center of the plain room, Jo drew deep breaths in an attempt to clear her mind.

But she could still smell him.

She had cherished her memories of Paul so carefully. His scent had not been one of them. Dropping into the chair, Jo considered herself. Her nipples were still hard and her clit was throbbing. It wasn’t her habit to dwell on her sexual responses so intently but that was another thing she could blame Paul for.

Christ! The man hit a switch inside her that turned her into a wanton. It was like going into heat—nothing mattered but getting naked with the man. Her face flushed as she recalled in vivid detail their second date. Even being a virgin hadn’t slowed either of them down. They went right past getting to know each other in favor of a wild night of exploration, stopping short of penetration only because she lacked sexual confidence and had panicked at that last moment. She understood that now. It had never been about faith. The real reason she’d refused to go all the way had been fear. That inability to shoulder her sexual decisions and not worry what the rest of the world might think.

Cussing softly, she reached for the medication and popped a couple of capsules into her mouth. Paul had been pissed but he’d rolled over and held her. They’d lain in her bed, passion licking their bodies, and he’d stroked her head until she fell asleep. Her heart had been putty in his hands after that. The thing that made her cuss tonight was the fact that she was still in love with him.

But it had been so perfect. He’d held her all night and shown up the following day with a ring. He’d followed her down three flights of stairs and into the church without a hint of cold feet. Nothing but determination. He’d needed it too. It took the better part of an hour to talk the priest into performing the service without marriage classes. Paul had quoted half the bible before Father Gabriel relented.

So, they’d gotten married right then and there. It happened so swiftly, she had spent the first month of her marriage learning about the man who was her husband. There hadn’t been anything to hold her back. No family left alive. She’d been on her own to scratch out a living with the rest of the struggling masses. Paul hadn’t been just her lover, he’d been her hero. The world was a big place when you were fresh out of high school. He’d been the rock that grounded her.