Stiffs and Swine (18 page)

“All right, all right!” Hailey jerked her arm away. “The redhead was on the steps. Yeah, I remember now. I didn’t think they’d haul her in ’cause I said she was inside with Jimmy.” She clasped her hands together, her magenta nails flashing in the tired sunlight. “You gotta see where I was comin’ from. I’ve been to jail. I knew they’d take one look at me, see the hillbilly girlfriend with a juvy record, and they’d pin Jimmy’s death on me faster than a lightnin’ strike.”

Lucy gave a small nod but didn’t back away. “I can understand you being scared, Hailey. But you don’t put someone else’s head on the chopping block just to save your own. Will you tell the sheriff what you told me and set things straight?”

When Hailey hesitated, Lucy folded her hands together as though in prayer. “She’s a good woman, our Gillian. You’ve got to do the right thing here.”

Hailey focused on Lucy’s hands and subconsciously touched the tattoo on the uppermost swell of her left breast. “Yeah, all right. I’ll tell ’em.” She closed her eyes as she made her promise. “But not now. I’ve gotta get my barbecued turkey legs to the judges in fifteen minutes. Be a miracle from above if I make it in time. I’ll call that sheriff lady once I’ve got me another blue ribbon.”

As Hailey hustled off, her wide hips swaying and her bottom bouncing in another pair of too-tight shorts, Lucy watched the other woman thoughtfully. Within moments, Hailey disappeared between two campers, but Lucy continued to stare into the distance. Blinking, she observed the crowd for a moment and then swung around and grabbed James by the elbow.

“Please tell me you got all that on tape.”

James removed the mini recorder from his pocket and hit the rewind button. They heard Hailey’s voice going backward in a speedy whine. He waited a few seconds and then played the recording. Hailey’s recollection of the actual events of that morning, when she discovered Jimmy’s body, was captured clearly.

“
She was on the steps
,” Hailey’s voice intoned.

Lucy radiated happiness. “Time to call Sheriff Jones.”

Bennett, Lindy, and James treated themselves to sno-cones as Lucy spoke to the sheriff.

“Aren’t you going to interview her again?” Lucy asked rather forcefully into the receiver. Listening to the response, she shifted impatiently. “If Hailey didn’t tell the truth about Gillian being inside the camper, who knows what
else
she lied about! For all we know,
she
could have killed Jimmy any time that night. Plus, she started to talk about something hidden, and I’m sure the word was
cash
. She also mentioned having
unfinished business
with Jimmy. Why
isn’t
Hailey your prime suspect?”

Taking a frosty bite of his sno-cone, James watched as Lucy blushed. “Oh,” she answered in a small voice. “I see.” Shaking her head, she reiterated her demand that Gillian be released based on the statements she and James had elicited from Hailey and captured on the mini recorder.

“What flavor did you get?” Bennett asked Lindy as Lucy argued in the background.

“Honeydew. You must have the lime. Your lips are all green.”

Bennett scrutinized his half-eaten cone of shaved ice. “I got kiwi but I wish I hadn’t. I don’t like it too much.” He smiled and pointed at James. “Man, take a look at those lips! You’ve got blue, red,
and
green all over your face. You look like the flag of Azerbaijan.”

Seeing the blank looks on his friend’s faces, Bennett clarified. “It’s a country in southwest Asia. Sound familiar?” He waited. “Guess not. It’s between Iran and Russia and borders on the Caspian Sea. Do
any
of those names strike a bell?”

“We’re not all trying out for
Jeopardy!
you know.”
James wiped his mouth with a napkin and then grimaced as he examined the stained paper. “This is what happens when you order a Tie-Dye sno-cone. Mine’s got green apple, cherry, and blue raspberry, but I should’ve just stuck with coconut. There are too many flavors in here.”

Removing her wallet from her purse, Lindy returned to the sno-cone stand. A minute later, she thrust a cone into Lucy’s hand just as the cell phone snapped shut.

“Oh, thanks.” She accepted the cone and took a small bite of the shaved ice. “This is good!” she exclaimed to Lindy.

“Passionfruit. I figured it would match your mood,” Lindy said, and she led them all to a nearby park bench.

“Shoot. You’d be blushing too if you heard what Sheriff Jones just told me.”

Bennett lowered his sno-cone. “What did she say?”

Lucy smirked. “You’re totally smitten with that woman aren’t you, Bennett? Maybe
you
should be the one trying to talk some sense into her.” She bit off another piece of her treat. “Hailey’s, um, activities with Bob give them both a solid alibi. Seems they were kind of, ah, loud, in the back of Bob’s camper starting at about eleven thirty. All the other members of the Tenderizers, as well as several of the Thigh and Mighties, heard Hailey praising the biblical prophets at the top of her lungs several times between the hours of midnight and two a.m.”

Scratching his head, Bennett creased his brows. “You mean to tell me that in the throes of passion, she yelled out ‘
Oh Moses! Oh Elijah!’
” When Lucy nodded in affirmation, he chuckled in mirth. “Well, she’s original. I’ll give her that much.”

Lucy clearly didn’t share Bennett’s humorous view of the situation. “The sheriff
also
pointed out that Gillian still has
no
alibi. Whether she was inside the camper, on its steps, or hiding behind one of its tires, she was still found at the crime scene this morning. That’s the bottom line to Sheriff Jones.” Lucy sighed in disappointment. “The sheriff has no immediate plans to release Gillian. We need to find out who’s really responsible for Jimmy’s death, and soon!” She took a quick bite of her sno-cone and glanced at Lindy. “Did you two have any luck?”

“None. We can rule out the Thigh and Mighties. They’re a group of elementary school teachers and this is their first contest. They had no idea who Jimmy was until he took their designated parking/cooking space. They mentioned the matter to Jimmy, who ignored them. They also complained in passing to R. C., but they didn’t seem too worked up about the whole issue.” She turned to James. “And none of the team members were really pale-skinned or wearing a hat with a tuning fork on it. Sorry.”

“The Finger Lickers are not your killer types either,” Bennett said. “They’re a bunch of dental hygienists who regularly get together to drink beer, barbecue, and avoid their wives and girlfriends. They all thought Jimmy was a hoot and didn’t bear him an ounce of ill will.” He balled up the paper cone that had once held his shaved ice. “Besides, they’re from North Carolina and have only seen Jimmy at two other festivals besides this one.”

“Maybe location has something to do with Jimmy’s death.” James grew pensive. “He was from the Fort Worth area, right?” He directed his question to Bennett, who had an excellent memory when it came to geography. Bennett nodded in assent. “Were any of the other teams from Texas?”

“The Marrow Men are from San Antonio,” Lindy said and then handed over the sheet listing the barbecue teams, the names of their members, and their hometowns.

“The Tenderizers are from Kansas and the Adam’s Ribbers are all Georgia peaches,” James stated, reading from the list. “So only Jimmy, Hailey, and the Marrow Men are from the same state. How far apart are Fort Worth and San Antonio?”

“About two hundred and fifty miles,” Bennett answered immediately.

Lucy threw her hands into the air in exasperation. “We’re grasping at straws here! Texas is a mighty big state, James, but we need to give the Marrow Men a look-see anyway. Then it’s time to go back to the inn and get some answers from Eleanor. She could have snuck down to the campground easily. Keep in mind that she thinks her precious daughter swapped spit and possibly some other bodily fluids with our dead guy.”

“That’s a charming image.” Lindy eyed her melting sno-cone with distaste and tossed it into the nearest garbage can.

James checked his watch. “They should be announcing the winners of the Poultry category. Let’s wrap things up here so we can go back to Fox Hall. I’d really like to take a shower and change out of these pants while you guys are cross-examining Eleanor.”

“You might be dirty, my man,” Bennett said as he gestured at the mud splatters and grass stains on James’s khakis, “but at least you’re not wearin’ an orange jumpsuit.”

“We’ll have Gillian back in her own clothes by the time this festival is over,” Lucy vowed. “We’ve solved tough mysteries before, and Gillian’s got all four of us working on her behalf.” She cocked her head sideways and muttered loud enough for her friends to hear. “Five, if you count the extra help we’re getting from an unexpected source.”

As Bennett and Lindy stared at her in confusion, James quickened his pace, but he couldn’t outwalk the sound of Lucy’s words as she grumbled darkly. “That’s right, friends. Murphy Alistair, the voice of the
Star
, is here in Hudsonville.”

The barbecue teams
were already gathered in front of R. C.’s podium when the supper club members arrived. Having decided to split up in order to better blend in with the rest of the crowd, James meandered around to the outskirts of the audience and fanned his eyes over the throng. It was easy to spot the barbecue teams, as they stood near the front and were once again wearing colorful aprons, shirts, and chef hats.

The Marrow Men, who wore the matching chef hats covered with orange and yellow flames, were holding cans of beer. James stepped close enough to the group of three men that he was able to see that the red foam coolers keeping their beers cold were printed with the text,
Bad to the Bone
. Amused, James also noted that the team members were clearly men who spent a great deal of time outdoors, for the sun had tanned their skin to a light bronze or burned their foreheads, cheeks, and the ends of their noses a faint red. Their fourth team member, the man James suspected of being pale as a phantom, was nowhere in sight.

R. C. stepped up to the microphone and tapped it with his finger. As the crowd’s murmuring grew quieter, James felt a pang of sympathy for R. C. He couldn’t begin to imagine the stress the poor man must be under. If R. C. had appeared taut and highly strung yesterday, he appeared downright cadaverous today. His clothes seemed to hang from his lanky frame, and his eyes looked dull with fatigue.

James wondered how Jimmy’s death would affect the festival as word of the shocking event spread throughout the region. Judging from the knot of people swarmed in front of the podium and the streams of people walking around the fairgrounds, the festival hadn’t suffered a depletion of visitors yet.

Of course, it’ll take a few more hours for the local press to run inflamed stories about the Hog Fest tragedy
, James thought.
But surely the area news channels had begun covering the story within hours of the sheriff’s arrival at Jimmy’s trailer.

“I guess rain’s worse for this event than a murder,” James muttered to himself as a buxom brunette arranged several ribbons and white envelopes on a table near R. C.’s hip.

“Thank you all so much for the most memorable poultry entries we’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting,” R. C. began with a tired grin. “And a special thank you to our judges for their time and expertise.” R. C. inclined his head gratefully to the familiar figures of Mr. and Mrs. Connelly as well as a group of four adults who, based on their similar features and coloring, looked to be related to one another.

R. C. paused and it seemed to James as though the organizer was staring directly at Hailey. Clearing his throat, as though trying to decide what to say next, R. C. blinked and let his eyes fall upon someone else’s face. If he had planned to say anything about Jimmy’s passing, the moment was now over. Obviously, R. C. had deemed it wiser to pretend as though nothing untoward had happened at Hog Fest.

“And now,” his voice rang through the crowd, “without further ado, let’s announce our first winner.”

Cheers erupted as R. C. awarded the white ribbon and cash prize to the Tenderizers. James spied Bob Barker whistling as his teammate shook hands with R. C. and then waved the third-place ribbon in the air. Hailey stood next to Bob, their hips nearly touching, though she still wore her Pitmasters T-shirt.

Once the member of the Tenderizers departed with his awards, R. C. announced a tie between the Finger Lickers and the Marrow Men for the second-place prize. James couldn’t help but smile as a young man with a mouthful of dazzling white teeth bounced up to R. C. to collect the red ribbon and envelope of cash. When he turned back to rejoin his friends, James noticed that his yellow apron was embroidered with a white tooth partially smothered in barbecue sauce. The tooth had been given a smiling face and the text in the bubble above its head read,
Eat ’Cue, Floss, Repeat.

“I guess those dental hygienists really know how to grill!” a woman to James’s left remarked to her friend. “They’re mighty cute, too.”

The Marrow Men representative appeared from the opposite side of the crowd and James drew in a sharp breath when he stared at the unnaturally pallid skin of the middle-aged man. The man accepted the prizes from R. C.’s hands with mumbled thanks, issued a minimal nod in the direction of his teammates, and then stepped back into the crowd. Heading toward his friends, the man ducked in order to avoid one of Hog Fest’s signature pig balloons, and the movement jarred his chef hat loose. James watched with keen interest as the man stooped to retrieve the hat. Instead of replacing it on top of his thinning hair, he pulled a black baseball cap from his back pocket and settled it on his head with the brim facing backward. Once again, James caught a glimpse of the strange symbol that resembled a silver tuning fork.

Glancing around until he had located Lindy, James pushed his way past people sipping homemade lemonade or gnawing on rib bones or barbecued chicken legs until he reached her.

“Lindy!” he exclaimed. “I saw the pasty-skinned guy! He’s with the Marrow Men, and he’s wearing that hat I told you about. Can you draw the symbol for me so we can research it more later? Maybe there’s a computer at our inn I could use.”

Lindy nodded. “Sure. I’ve got pen and paper in my bag. Where’s the guy?”

Keeping his hand at waist level, James pointed to the left. “They’re the ones with the flaming chef hats. Except for the guy I saw with Jimmy. His chef hat fell off so he put his baseball cap on. It’s black.”

“I see him. Good Lord, I’ve seen fish bellies with more pigment than that guy has. He must work inside all day,” Lindy said, and she moved off.

By the time James returned his attention to the podium, R. C. was ready to announce the winner of the Poultry category. James scanned his eyes over the members of the remaining teams as they grew tense with anticipation. A few rows in front of him, Bob Barker placed a proprietary hand on Hailey’s shoulders, which she shrugged off in the pretense of having to scratch her lower calf. By the time she straightened, R. C. called a name other than the Pitmasters. In fact, it was the Adam’s Ribbers who earned the first-place prize.

Zoe, who had changed out of her Johnny Depp T-shirt in favor of a hot-pink tank top that read,
The Adam’s Ribbers
:
We’ll Rub Your Butt
, squealed all the way to the podium. When she reached the microphone, she pushed it aside, threw her arms around R. C., and kissed him noisily on the cheek. R. C.’s face turned as pink as Zoe’s shirt as she pranced back to her teammates in order to exchange high-fives and hugs.

Still blushing, R. C. reminded the audience that the Anything Butt and Beef Rib contests would take place the next day, and he cautioned the crowd not to miss the blueberry pie-eating contest as well.

“We’ll announce the name of the Hog Fest Barbecue Champion during tomorrow’s closing ceremony, so don’t miss it!” he informed the crowd with as much effervescence as he could muster in his state of weariness.

The crowd issued a final cheer and then began to disperse. James happened to find himself walking behind a family preoccupied with tearing apart fluffy pink and blue clouds of cotton candy. When they peeled off from the main throng in search of napkins, James practically stepped on the heels of Bob and Hailey.

“Too bad you didn’t win that money, darlin’,” James heard Bob say. Rubbing Hailey’s back in a gesture of consolation, he sighed. “Now that I’ve got alimony payments to make, I’ve got less to spend on us than I was hopin’. Every bit of cash we can get will mean a nicer honeymoon.”

Hailey shrugged. “That cash prize was small change. ’Sides, I’ve got money of my own.”

After purchasing two bottles of Budweiser from a nearby vendor, the couple veered in the opposite direction, undoubtedly heading back to the cooking area. James stared after them, noting how Hailey detached herself from Bob’s possessive arm.

“Doesn’t look like she wants to be Mrs. Bob Barker too badly,” James murmured to himself and then wondered why Hailey seemed so unperturbed over not winning the cash prize. She didn’t receive a paycheck, so unless she had another source of income, she and Jimmy had survived on his salary as a tow truck driver along with his barbecue contest winnings. “That couldn’t exactly have been high living.”

As James pondered this riddle, he spied Bennett cresting a slight rise up ahead. Trudging around a clot of slow-moving festivalgoers on their way to the parking lot, James caught up with his friend.

“Lucy and Lindy are checking on R. C.,” Bennett said as they walked toward Lucy’s Jeep. “Lindy was concerned about the guy’s welfare while Lucy wanted to get a read on him. Says he could be a suspect seein’ as Jimmy offended people left and right at this fair.” He snorted. “She’s one dogged deputy, I’ll tell ya.”

James shook his head. “I don’t see the logic in viewing R. C. as a suspect. After all, he wouldn’t want any negative publicity for Hog Fest and nothing garners bad press faster than an act of violence.” He shielded his eyes from the glare of the afternoon sun. “R. C. must have pulled every string he could to keep the fact that Jimmy’s death was actually a murder under wraps, but the story will break soon enough and then the festival’s reputation could really suffer.”

“Speaking of stories and tall tales and the like, is your girlfriend gonna be one of the media folks giving our man R. C. a series of heart attacks? She does have a nose for drama. But I guess that kind of writin’ helps her sell papers, huh?”

Noting the edge of irritation in Bennett’s voice, James couldn’t help but recall how many articles Murphy had written about his friends and their efforts to shed some extra pounds. She had often revealed far more information than the supper club members would have preferred, and though Murphy tried to redeem herself by touting their crime-solving skills, the personal information she had disclosed about them in print would not easily be forgiven.

“I don’t know, Bennett,” James admitted. “I had no idea she was even coming here.”

“Communication is the key to a successful relationship,” Bennett quipped and then grew solemn. “I’d like to
communicate
a few things to Sheriff Jade Jones, yessir.”

A few minutes later, Lucy and Lindy returned and the four friends clambered back inside the Jeep. On the way back to the Inn at Fox Hall, James asked Lindy to show Bennett the sketch she had made.

“Does this look familiar to you?” James asked.

Bennett took one look at her drawing and began to chortle. “You really need to watch more sports, my man.” He took the picture from Lindy’s hands and shook it at James. “This isn’t a tuning fork! This is a spur, my friend! As in the San Antonio Spurs? You know, the basketball team?” He narrowed his dark eyes. “Please tell me that you’ve at least heard of the NBA!”

“Yeah, yeah,” James replied irritably. “So I don’t watch professional basketball. I didn’t think anyone else did either. It’s just a bunch of guys with huge egos and inflated salaries tossing a ball around. What am I missing by watching A&E instead?” He pointed at the drawing. “The pale guy is one of the Marrow Men. He was wearing this baseball cap. Did you all notice him when he went up to the podium?”

His friends nodded.

“Hard to miss with that white, white skin,” Bennett joked.

“He’s the one I saw arguing with Jimmy,” James said. “Both men are from Texas and that guy obviously had a bone to pick with ‘The Pitmaster.’ Jimmy was genuinely affected by this guy’s threatening body language and I saw his face after the guy left. Jimmy was scared. I think we need to spend some time with the Marrow Men.”