Steven Gerrard: My Liverpool Story (17 page)

From the dressing room at half-time we had all heard ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ echo around the arena. It was sung in open defiance. Now the noise from the stands carried more belief. Could we do it? When Vladimir Smicer scored from distance moments later, the Ataturk erupted. The great escape was on.

Milan Baros was often criticised for not having a great sense of awareness for what was happening on the pitch, but the little touch he played into my path as we sought the equaliser was exquisite. An arm in my back from Gennaro Gattuso and I was sent sprawling. Penalty. Xabi Alonso stepped up to take the spot-kick and although Dida saved his effort, he smashed home the rebound into the roof of the net. Amazing.

We had all been scooped up and swept along in a whirlwind, but there was no chance to consider what we had just done. As soon as the scoreline went to 3–3, I was thinking ‘penalties. Let’s get to penalties.’

The shock of throwing away such a commanding advantage seemed to stir Milan to their senses, like a boxer being givien smelling salts. They poured forward again.

We dug in, putting our bodies on the line and then relying on a bit of luck as well. Jamie Carragher was immense in defence – defying Milan time after time as well as the cramp that was shooting up his legs – and then there was Jerzy Dudek.

Talk to him today and he still does not know how he managed to save a header from Andrei Shevchenko that looked goal-bound. The look of disbelief on Shevchenko’s face immediately afterwards is priceless.

In that split second, Milan had it confirmed to them that this was not going to be their night and their lack of confidence was evident in the penalty shoot-out that followed.

Didi, Vladi and Djibril Cisse scored for us and even though Riise was wayward, Milan could not afford another miss from 12 yards.

Rafa had put me down to take the fifth penalty that night which, given the misses before from Milan, had the potential to be the crucial spot-kick. No problem. I was up for it. But when people say, ‘Oh, you are so lucky to be a footballer’ and ‘I would give anything to be a footballer, you have such an easy life and get paid all this money’ they have to remember the flipside. What I say to those people is straightforward. Could you handle the pressure of knowing that you are five seconds away from taking a penalty in the Champions League Final? And not only that, but you are five seconds away from taking the penalty that could win the Champions League for Liverpool? Do you fancy that? Could you cope with that, knowing that if you miss you could be remembered for that for the rest of your life?

So when Shevchenko was walking up to take the penalty that Milan needed to score to ensure I would have to step into the spotlight, that is what I was thinking. I was preparing myself rather than watching what was happening. I was confident of scoring and I was going to place my effort rather than going for power.

In a pressure situation like the one Shevchenko was under, the last thing I thought was that he was going to dink his spot-kick.

So when Jerzy pulled off the save, it was a split second before I realised I wouldn’t have to take my penalty after all and that we had won the Champions League, or the European Cup as it was before, for a fifth time.

And then it hit me. I was off. Off trying to catch Carra, off to celebrate with my team and our fans.

The celebrations went on into the early hours of the morning. There was no time to sleep. Each and every one of us was too caught up in what we had just achieved. Relief and euphoria were my over-riding emotions and then I felt drained and tired for days after because the pressure in the build-up and during the game itself was intense. But to have ‘Champions League winner’ on my CV, well, it doesn’t get any better than that.

The trophy we won is on display in reception at the training ground and I walk past it every day. When I see it, or when I am watching a Champions League game at home, moments from that match against Milan flash into my mind. But I don’t really reflect on and wallow in that triumph much any more. I will never forget that night, but it no longer feels fresh. These days, I think more about what else I can win before I finish my career; what other trophies I can lift before I call it a day.

“I felt embarrassed. We were being humiliated.”

Shock and Awe

This picture tells a thousand words. We’re all shell-shocked as we wait for AC Milan to kick-off following another goal in Istanbul. If you look at my face I’m thinking, ‘They’re too good for us. We’re not going to win this game. We’re getting the runaround.’ How often have you seen Xabi Alonso in the last few years look like that, just staring in the distance, helpless? It doesn’t happen to him, does it? You can shout and try to coax some belief back into your team-mates, but it is hard to make yourself heard in that sort of atmosphere. Also, it is tough to say anything meaningful that isn’t just trying to paper over the cracks. We were 3–0 down at half-time and surely down and out.

Coming to Terms With a Disastrous First Half

Knowing Rafa, he is probably telling me to get control of Kaka and get someone on Andrea Pirlo. And knowing me, I’m probably saying, ‘It’s impossible.’ We were getting over-run so much in midfield it was a nightmare. Pirlo earned rave reviews at Euro 2012 for the way he played for Italy, especially in the penalty shoot-out win over England in the quarter-finals. If you give him time and space, he will look good because technically, with the ball at his feet, he is as good as anyone in the world. If you get bodies around him, you can run off him and I don’t think he is very physical but he controls games with his passing if you let him.

Heading in the Right Direction

I have scored better goals and come up with more eye-catching strikes, but, without doubt, this is the most important goal-scoring intervention of my entire career. It gave us back a little bit of respect, and some belief too, but I still didn’t think it would spark the tremendous fight-back that followed. I checked my initial run because John Arne Riise’s first cross was blocked, then I gambled on going into the box again. What is surprising about the goal when you see this picture is how much space I had between Jaap Stam and Alessandro Nesta, who were two of the best defenders in the world at the time. To get a header right in the middle of them, and in a game of that magnitude, was special for me. The header was instinctive. I went for accuracy rather than power because the cross was that good.

If the Fans Believe It, So Will We

At half-time at the Ataturk Stadium we were despondent in the dressing room but we could hear the strains of ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ being sung by the Liverpool supporters outside. On the way back to the half-way line after my goal, I waved my hands towards the fans to show that the players were with them and that we hadn’t given up either. They had descended on Istanbul in their thousands and the very least they deserved was for us to keep going. They responded to my gesture by creating even more of a din, but that’s the Liverpool fans for you. The best in the world.

Turning Point

Vladimir Smicer had just scored from distance and the momentum was now with us when I screamed at Milan Baros to nudge the ball into my path as I looked to burst into the area. His touch was perfect and Gennaro Gattuso put a hand on my back, pushed me off balance and sent me crashing to the floor. Penalty. I wanted to take the spot-kick and for a large part of that season I was our designated penalty taker. But Rafa had a thing where he named a different penalty taker for different games and he would go off his head – shouting and fining players – if someone disobeyed his orders. He named Xabi as the penalty taker for the final before the game and while I was personally gutted, I knew Xabi was deadly. OK, Dida saved his first attempt but when he fired the rebound into the roof of the net our comeback was complete. 3–3. Amazing.

I’ve Done It For You

Here I’m blowing a kiss to my family who were in the crowd. My dad and brother were among a gang of friends who had travelled to Turkey for the game and this was for them. The drama of our penalty shoot-out win gave way to the best celebrations I have ever known and I wanted my family to be a part of it. I owe everything to them, for the support they have given me over the years and the belief they have always had in me. I’m proud to have given them something back. The red wristband I am wearing is in support of the Hillsborough Family Support Group.