Stepbrother With Benefits 16 (Third Season) (11 page)

When I get back to my room, my roommate is missing.  A handwritten note on my bed says she's going to be out late tonight.  She's got some club meeting or something and it's also a gathering or whatever to celebrate everyone being back at school.

Oh, really?  Well then, why don't I just...

I go to get one of my socks.  It's nothing fancy, but it'll do the trick.  Tiptoeing across my dorm room like I'm some sneaky ninja, I open the door quick and look out into the hall.  I don't know why, but I just don't want anyone seeing me do this.  It's private, alright?

I fit the sock on the doorknob, then close the door quick.  Good.  I did it!  I'm, um... I'm being sneaky and...

I don't even know what I'm doing.  Ethan and I don't have any plans for tonight.  I kind of just want there to be the possibility of plans?  I'm actually pretty upset that I can't give him an apologetic blowjob, though.  Mostly, I'm more upset that I can't give him a blowjob until this weekend.  I don't know why I'm stuck on the blowjob idea, because I like plenty of other things, too.

I just really like Ethan's cock.  In my mouth.  There.  I said it.  I mean, I like it in other places, too, but there's something exciting about being on my knees in front of him, his throbbing erection right in front of my face, while he looks down at me with eager anticipation.  The first lick of the head of his cock always sends him into a wild frenzy, and his cock twitches and bobs in excitement.

It's really just a lot of fun and I don't think I have to explain myself, but there you go.  Yes, I like giving my stepbrother boyfriend with benefits a blowjob.  I think Ethan would definitely agree that a blowjob is a benefit, so it works.

We're not doing that now, though.  I'm just...

Oh my God, I completely spaced it.  I'm late!  Call him, Ashley!  Stop distracting yourself!

I find my phone quick, then run to my bed, hop on top of it, and dial Ethan's number.  The phone rings.  It rings again.  It's ringing a lot, isn't it?  Is he there?  I hope so.  Maybe he didn't notice that I didn't call him, except that can't be true because before I called him I saw a bunch of missed text messages and voicemails.  I guess I should have listened to those first, but I didn't want to wait.

Finally Ethan picks up the phone.  Oh, good.  I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Hey, Princess," he says.

"Um... hi," I say, shy, not sure how to talk to him now.  I know
how
to talk to him, but I don't know what to say at this very moment.

"Where were you?" he asks.  "Did you get my messages?"

"Oh," I say.  "Yes, um... I didn't listen to them yet.  Or read them.  I just got back to my room."

I don't know how much I should say.  I don't want him to think I forgot about him, or that this'll be a common occurrence.  It won't be, I promise!

"So... you were busy?" he asks.  "That's why you couldn't check your phone?"

"Ethan, I'm so sorry!" I say, all in a rush.  "I forgot it in my room, and then I got distracted, and when I realized it I came right back, and... I'm really really sorry, I swear."

I didn't mean to say that.  Or, I didn't mean to say it all like that, at least.  I wanted to be a little more circumspect, I guess.  I want him to know I'm sorry, but I don't know if either of us will be busy again in the future, and what if this happens again?

It could, couldn't it?  He has football, so he can't talk to me then.  And I'll have to study, so I can't talk to him then.  Oh no.  What if this really does happen a lot?  What if it becomes a very common occurrence and we barely even talk to each other anymore?

I've ruined it, haven't I?  I've started a horrible cycle of us not being able to talk to each other, and I didn't even mean to.  It doesn't matter what I meant to do, though.  It's begun.  It has started.  I...

"It's cool," Ethan says, laughing.  "Don't worry about it.  It happens.  What were you doing?"

Oh.  He doesn't hate me.  The cycle hasn't started.  I can fix this!

Or not.

"I was at the coffee shop," I say.  "I had a study date."

Ethan stays silent for a second, and it takes me a moment to realize why.  Eek.  Did I just say that?  Yes, um... I just told my boyfriend that I had a study date.  That doesn't mean anything, right?  It's not a
date
date, it's a
study
date, so...

"...You were on a date?" Ethan asks, his voice alarmingly void of emotion.

"No," I say, trying to correct myself.  "It was just studying.  That's what you call it, right?  Study date?"

This made a lot of sense in my mind when I was rationalizing it earlier in the coffee shop, but now that I'm trying to explain it to Ethan, I feel like this can't be explained properly.  A date is a date, Ashley.  Maybe I should have said it was a study correspondence.  Correspondence sounds a lot more formal and less intimate and cozy.

"You don't have to worry," I tell him after he hasn't said anything for a few seconds.  "He knows I have a boyfriend, so it was just friendly."

"
He?
" Ethan asks.

His voice was previously emotionless, and now it's full of emotion.  Emotionful, I suppose you could say, except these emotions are not happy emotions.  Nope, um... pretty angry sounding ones, actually.

"Ethan, I promise it wasn't a real date!" I say.  "We were just studying.  That's it."

"Alright, Princess, let's go through the 'Is this a real date?' checklist, alright?"

"I don't even know what that means," I say.  "What are you talking about?"

"No one calls a date a date anymore, Ashley.  It's all just... hey, you want to hang out sometime?  Or, hey, I'm going to do this thing, want to come with me?  Or, hey, I'm going to watch Netflix, want to come over and chill?"

I nod.  This makes sense.  "Netflix and chill.  Got it."

Ethan just called me Ashley.  I think this means he's serious.  I have to take this extremely seriously.  I have to assuage him and calm him down and make him realize I understand the severity of his thoughts right now, but that he has absolutely nothing to worry about.

"Fuck.  Did he ask you to come over and watch Netflix with him?"

I'm doing a really bad job at this whole
'Don't worry, Ethan, you have nothing to worry about'
thing, aren't I?

"No," I tell him.  "There was no Netflix and chilling going on.  Is that what you say?  Netflixing and chilling?  I don't know.  We didn't do that.  We didn't even talk about that at all.  I think he might have mentioned a TV series that might be on Netflix, but that's it."

"Holy fuck, this is bad," Ethan says.

"Ethan, it's not bad!  I'm sorry!  Just... go!  Tell me the checklist!  I bet we didn't do any of them.  Like I said, it wasn't a real date.  We were just studying."

"I don't even fucking know if I can handle this right now, Princess," he says.

"Please?" I beg him.

I use my best begging voice, too.  With a little bit of a whimper.  I wish I could bat my eyelashes at him and make a pouty face, too, but we're on the phone, so that's not going to work.

"Wait!" I say, excited.  "Hold on, alright?  I have an idea."

"Fuck," Ethan says.  "Fucking fuck."

"Quiet.  You'll like this.  I promise."

I move my phone in front of me and switch to the camera while Ethan is mumbling and grumbling on the phone.  Quick, because time is of the essence right now, I hit the button to record a short video.  In the next five seconds, I take the cutest, poutiest video I can, with prominent eyelash batting.  Also, I finish by kissing my phone.

I text Ethan the video and then I go back to talking to him.

"Are you still there?" I ask him.

"I'm still fucking here," he says.  "You're killing me, Princess.  I think I'm dying."

"No," I say.  "You can't die.  Check your text messages.  I sent you something."

"Is it a naked pic?" he asks.

"Um, no?"

"Holy fuck, you go on a date with some other guy and now you won't even send me naked pictures?  This is how it starts, isn't it?  I can't fucking believe this is happening to me."

He says this, but he's just being a jerk and sarcastic.  It comes out kind of funny, actually.  I start to laugh, but I stop myself.  I can't laugh!  This is serious.

"Please just check it?" I ask him.

"Fine," he says.  "I'll fucking check the—"

He stops talking, because presumably he's checking his text message.  A few seconds later he comes back to the phone.

"Why are you doing this to me?  Being all pouty and sexy as fuck.  What the hell?"

"I batted my eyelashes a lot, too," I say.  "I know you like that."

"No lower lip biting, though," he notes.  "What's up with that?  I don't know if I can accept your apology."

"Ethan, you can't bite your bottom lip while pouting.  It's impossible.  Go ahead, try it."

I think he does, because a second later he says, "Fuck.  Alright.  I guess you win that one."

"It really wasn't a date, either.  I swear.  I'll even send you naked pictures if you want, but..."

"But what?" he asks, his voice perking up.  "Wait, stop that.  You're trying to distract me.  We have a checklist to talk about.  I get that maybe you don't think it was a date, and I totally understand what you're saying, Princess, but... guys are fucked up sometimes.  Even if you told him you have a boyfriend, we need to figure out how to handle this."

"I really don't know what you mean," I say.

"Shhh," he says, shushing me.  "Question number one.  Did he buy you anything to eat at the coffee shop?  Did he pay for it, I mean."

"He bought me a coffee," I say.  "What's that have to do with anything?"

"Fuck, how long have you known this guy?" Ethan asks.

"Um... he went to to the same high school as us, so I guess since then?  I never really knew him well, or talked to him much, but I talked to him a little.  I didn't talk to him much last year, though.  I think he was in the library at the same time as me sometimes."

"Double fuck," Ethan says.  "This is really fucking bad.  Alright, did you make plans to hang out again?  Did you talk about studying only, or other stuff, too?  What happened after you two left the coffee shop?  Did he go with you or go somewhere else?"

"This is stupid," I say.  "He said maybe we should study again, but it was just studying.  We talked about a few other things, but that's because I finished studying quicker and he still had some stuff to do.  We didn't go anywhere after we left.  He walked back with me, but then when we got to the dorms he had to go to his locker at school quick so he didn't come in with me.  That's it."

"Alright, uh... Princess... I know this isn't what you want to hear, but that sounds exactly like a fucking date to me.  I get that maybe you didn't think it was a date, but, holy fuck, you basically covered every single fucking thing people do on dates.  You do realize this, right?"

"I did not!" I protest.  "I didn't kiss him, and I didn't have sex with him, either."

"What the fuck?" Ethan says.  "Yeah, kissing on a first date, whatever.  But sex?  Uh... who the fuck does that?"

"Um, I'm pretty sure you do," I say.  "Actually, I'm pretty sure we had sex before we even had our first date, and again later.  And during.  And after."

"Listen," he says.  "That's an exception to the rule.  No one else is allowed to have sex on a first date.  Like... a one night stand, alright, I get it.  But if you're really into a girl, then, yeah, you wait until... I mean, after, at least.  You finish date one, and then you start date two immediately right after with sex.  That's how this works.  I think that's how it works.  Fuck if I know.  I don't fucking like this, Princess.  I can't even believe you brought this up."

"I brought it up to say that we didn't do those things, so it wasn't bad," I say.  "That's what I meant.  I promise, Ethan, it... it wasn't... I..."

I don't know.  I know our conversation sounds kind of silly and funny, but I'm worried now.  I don't want to even talk about this.  I want to talk about fun things, and I want to spend time with Ethan the only way we can right now, and it's just hard.  I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

Then I remember exactly why and how the study date happened.  Which, it really was just studying.  I don't care about Ethan's checklist.  I get why he thinks the checklist is important, but he doesn't have context to the situation.

"Kevin was just helping me out," I say to Ethan.  "Because, um... so I was in the coffee shop studying on my own, right?  And then Jake came in.  He was trying to harass me.  He kept... ugh... he... he was touching me, and he tried to make me touch him, which was gross.  I was in a corner booth in the back, and I was about to scream, but then Kevin showed up.  Jake got distracted, and my hand was there, so I punched him in the balls."

"Wait, uh... what?" Ethan asks.  "Did you just say you punched that asshole in the balls?  Like, straight up punched him?"

"It wasn't a real punch, I guess," I say, shrugging.  "It was more like I made a fist, and then I slammed it down.  I pounded him?"

"Well, fuck," Ethan says.  "Huh."

Ethan doesn't say anything else after that.  I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing?  Are we apologizing now?  I know I made a mistake, and I guess I shouldn't have left my phone in my room, nor should I have, um... I mean, really, it was just studying and Kevin being nice, so while I don't think I shouldn't have done it, I can see why Ethan would be upset.  I don't think he'd be upset if he was here with me, but since we're apart it's a little different, isn't it?

I know everyone says that absence or distance or whatever makes the heart grow fonder, but to be completely honest, it just makes my heart hurt.  Psychologically, I understand the point that the common saying is trying to make, because if you have too much of something, you'll possibly inevitably grow sick of it, but...

That's not always true.  I will never grow sick of pancakes, for example.  Also, there's so many different kinds of pancakes, right?  There's different things you can put inside them, or on top of them.  You can have blueberry pancakes with the blueberries cooked in, so they're warm and gooey, or you can have the blueberries on top, so they're cool and crisp.  You can have maple syrup, or just butter, or honey, or chocolate syrup, or...