Stepbrother With Benefits 11 (6 page)

Also, holy shit, I think I just heard another howl.  Pretty sure my dad did, too, and the dog's ears perk up.

"Uh... let's go," my dad says.  "Now."

"Yeah, good idea," I say to him.

Caleb becomes our fishing helper and ends up baiting all of our hooks.  I'm not sure this is what he had in mind when he first showed up here, but he seems fine with it.  It's actually kind of weird to me, because it's so different from how Ethan is.  Caleb is helpful and nice, and I don't want to say that Ethan isn't helpful or nice, but, um...

I guess Ethan is, but in a different way?  He's more of the commanding, take charge sort, while Caleb seems content to just help out with whatever someone needs help with.  Which maybe my mom and I are using to our advantage right now, but Caleb seems to be enjoying himself, too.

Also, Caleb has a secret.  Oh, yes, it's a very good secret, too.

He tried to avoid my mom's scrutinizing questions about him having a girlfriend, but my mom is really good at this kind of thing and Caleb couldn't guard himself for very long.  He does not have a girlfriend, but...

"There is this one girl," Caleb says.  "Uh... her name is Scarlet."

"Oh?" my mom asks.  "How did you meet her?"

"She's my neighbor," Caleb says.  "Back home, I mean.  Not here.  She's never been to the campground, though I've told her all about it."

"Is she interested?" my mom asks.

"You could invite her?" I add.

"Oh, er... no, I couldn't do that..." Caleb says.

A fish bites at my hook and I try to, um... fish it?  I don't know!  This is my first time fishing and honestly I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.  A second later, it's no longer nibbling at the end of my line, though.  I reel in the line and check and it's just eaten my worm and vanished!

Actually, I'm relieved.  I know we're supposed to be fishing, but I feel bad for the fish.  Thankfully neither of us has caught any fish whatsoever, so mostly we're just feeding them worms.  I feel like there's worse ways to spend your day.  Plenty of people go to the park to feed the birds, right?  This is like the same thing, except we're at a lake feeding the fish.

"Why can't you?" I ask Caleb while he baits a worm on my hook for me.

"This is going to sound weird," Caleb says.  "Uh... Scarlet kind of reminds me of Ethan?"

"Oh," my mom says, nodding in complete understanding.  "She's the bad girl type, is she?"

Caleb starts to blush.  "Well, er... I don't... I don't know about that, uh..."

I suddenly feel an urgent need to help Caleb.  I don't know why, I just... I want to help him.  He's like me, isn't he?  And I needed Ethan as my bad boy to show me what I was capable of.  Caleb needs his bad girl, too.  I think he does.  Oh no, what if he doesn't?  What if Scarlet isn't like Ethan at all and she's going to be mean to Caleb and treat him poorly?

Because, to be honest, I don't think all bad boys are good.  Just Ethan, really.  Actually, I don't even know because I've never really dealt with any besides him.  I wouldn't consider Jake a bad boy, despite the fact that he's kind of a jerk.  That's not what being a bad boy means, you know?  It's completely different, and now I'm not sure how I feel about Scarlet.

"She's an art student," Caleb says, wistful.  "She just started college last year.  Well, I did, too, actually.  I kind of maybe sort of applied to the college across the street from hers, because, uh... well, we hang out sometimes, but I'm not really like all of those other art school kids.  I'm not as cool, I guess."

"No way," I say.  "I think you're cool, Caleb.  I bet she does, too.  Why else would she hang out with you?"

Caleb shrugs.  "I don't know?  Because we've known each other forever, I guess.  I don't think she hangs out with me for any other reason than that."

"I think you're wrong," I say.  "Do you have her number?"

"Er... yes?"

"We're going to call her," I say.  "What's she doing this summer?  Is she home?"

"Probably, but I bet she's working on some big art project.  She does lots of painting.  She's really good."

I want to say more, and I fully planned on saying more, but it's getting dark and something stops me.  We don't have much time left before the sun sets, and we really should be heading back.  I think my mom and I are only staying now because we figured Ethan and his dad would be back soon.  I'm trying not to worry, but Ethan did say he was going to tell his dad while they were on their hike, and it's hard not to worry about that.

What if something happened?  What if his dad got so upset that he stormed off and they're lost in the woods now, and something bad happened?  Maybe they fell into a hole and they got trapped and they're stuck.  Maybe Ethan broke his leg, or his dad broke his leg, or they both broke their legs, and...

Really, that's a little too much worrying, but the only reason I started worrying about all of this so suddenly was the howling.  Before I could toss my freshly baited hook into the water, a piercing howl echoes through the woods across the lake.

We all freeze: me, Caleb, and my mother.

"Oh, shit," Caleb says.  "I didn't think there'd actually be a wolf."

"Wait, what?" I ask.  "Are you serious?"

"It did sound like a wolf," my mom says.  "That's not good, now is it?"

"Where did you say Ethan and his dad were going?" Caleb asks.

"Just for a hike, I guess?  I'm not sure," I say.

"I thought they'd be back by now," my mom adds.  "It's been quite a few hours, I think.  We sort of lost track of time.  I don't have a watch."

Caleb checks his watch.  "It's almost sunset," he says.  "I'm not sure how long you've been out here, but I've been with you for about three hours."

"What?  Seriously?"  Holy wow, three hours?  Um...

The wolf howls again.  Or, possibly worse, another wolf howls?

"We need to find them," I say.  "We need to go get them before it's dark."

"It's not that easy," Caleb says.  "If you don't know where they went, and we have no way of contacting them, it's going to be really difficult to find them.  For all we know, they could be back at the campsite by now, too.  Maybe they're heading back now."

"I'm sure they're fine..." my mom says, but she doesn't even sound like she believes her own words.

"We should probably head back, too," Caleb says.  "If there's a wolf out here, it's not safe.  We put out scent markers to deter most animals from getting too close to the campground, but we mostly keep it to this side of the lake.  Most wild animals won't bother you during the day, and the scent markers mostly keep them away at night, but..."

He doesn't have to explain more.  If there's wolves in the woods and there's nothing to stop them, then anyone caught near them could be in trouble.  I'm not sure how aggressive wolves usually are to humans, but I'm sure if a pack of them catches two lone hikers in the middle of the woods...

I don't even want to think about it. 
Please be alright.
  I know my stepdad and Ethan can usually take care of themselves, but I'm worried.  Please...
please be alright.

These fucking woods.  Seriously, super real talk right now, but what the fuck is up with these woods?  We saw lights before, but they weren't even real lights.  I mean, I guess they were
lights
in the strictest sense of the word, but who the fuck needs fireflies when you're lost in the woods?

Also, we've got this dog with us, and it's not even helpful.  It just keeps circling around us, over and over, running in circles...

Yup, thanks, Dog.  Thanks a lot.

Maybe I should give it a name or something?  What the fuck, he's not even my dog, though.  He should have a name already.

The next time he comes close, I hold out my hand to pet him and he stops.  I reach for his collar, but that's all there is, no tags, nothing.  He looks at me with contented eyes, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

"Kind of strange that there's a dog out here, huh?" my dad asks.

"Uh, yeah," I say.

My dad laughs.  "I thought we were done for before."

"Yeah..."  Yeah, I did, too.

"I'm not sure if it's because of that or something else, but I'm glad you told me," he says.

"Told you what?" I ask.  I'm not trying to be stupid here, but I want to make sure I know what he's talking about.

"You," he says.  "And Ashley.  It makes sense now.  I'm not sure why I didn't see it before.  I guess I just never thought of it as a possibility.  You two have gotten on each other's nerves for such a long time, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," I say.  "I really do like her, though.  This isn't a fling or anything, Dad."

It isn't a fling now.  It was going to be a fling when we first started our "with benefits" arrangement, but to be honest I'm not even sure if it was a fling then.

I loved how she challenged me.  I mean, I didn't have to give in, you know?  I could have pushed back, told her she was just drunk, saying stupid shit.  Yeah, yeah, that first fateful fucking night when she dared me to sleep with her.  She wanted to win, and I know she might not have thought that through entirely.  You don't just say shit like that unless you mean it, though.

Maybe she didn't think I would do it, and maybe that's why she said it in the first place, but I think a part of her wanted it.  I think a part of her just wanted to know what it was like.  Maybe she thought it'd be fine to do it just for one night, and... fuck, that wouldn't have been fine with me.  That's why I suggested the whole stepbrother with benefits thing in the first place.

I gave her a way out, though.  I told her we could stop.  I wasn't the one that chose this.  I would have fucking chose it if someone gave me the choice, though.

I don't know if I deserve Ashley.  I really fucking don't.  She probably deserves someone better than me.  Someone like Caleb, maybe.  He seems like an alright guy, though kind of a pussy.  Needs to man up a little, but other than that, he's not the worst.

I don't know what the fuck I'm saying anymore except that I want to be good for Ashley.  I know I'm not exactly the kind of guy a mother wants dating her daughter, but I want to be.  I don't think my dad is wrong about that.  I don't think he was wrong to say that if Ashley was his daughter, he wouldn't want me dating her.

It's just...

It's a challenge, too, you know?  It's like Ashley's dare, except this is my life, and I want to do it, and I want to win.

Winning means forever.  Happily fucking ever after.  It means love and romance and all the shit I never really thought about before, because I never thought I'd have it.  I wanted other people to find it and have it, but do you know how fucking hard that is?

Falling in love isn't easy.  I mean
really
falling in love.  Not lust or temporary satisfaction or settling for someone who is nice to you.  There's nothing wrong with that, either, don't get me wrong.  Sometimes lust can become love.  I mean, fuck, that's kind of what happened with me and Ashley, isn't it?  Sometimes friendship can become love, too.  I think that's what happened, also.

I just want everything.  Love, lust, friendship, and a whole lot more.  Ashley is everything.  She's so fucking good at all of it, and it makes me want to be better.

I mean, yeah, I want to be a bad boy, too, but I think she likes that.  I just kind of want to be a bad boy and boyfriend material at the same time.  Maybe husband and father material, too, but let's not get too carried away here.

I have a lot of time to think about this shit.  Me and my dad are just walking, and this dog is walking with us, too.  I think maybe we're heading back to the campsite, but I have no fucking clue.

My dad clears his throat.  I think that's it, but then he opens his mouth to talk.

"I love you, Ethan," he says.  "No matter what, I want you to know I love you, alright?"

"Yeah," I say.

It's not like I was going to say more.  I have no idea what to say right now.  I just want to get back to the campsite and to Ashley and then we can deal with this shit, or just wait until tomorrow.  Sleep on it, right?  Yeah, sounds good.

Except, nah, nothing is that easy.  Nothing is ever that fucking easy.

The dog pulls back and bristles, but whatever the fuck it sees, I sure can't see it.  Then, out of nowhere, there's this huge fucking bear.  Black like the descending night, just hiding behind a fucking tree or some shit.  This isn't a fake bear, not a dog that looks like a bear.  A bear is a fucking bear, and there's no real way for someone to mistake it for something else.

I mean, I guess it could be Bigfoot, too, but let's not get too carried away here.

It makes a loud, guttural noise and stands up on its hind legs, aggressive.  Thank fuck it's a decent distance away from of us.  Like... not that far  ahead, but at least we're not within arm's reach of it.  I'm not sure this is going to help much, because it's a fucking bear and if it wants to have us for dinner, well... yeah, it's only got to take a few steps forward.

The dog starts barking, though.  Then, no shit, it lunges at the bear.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I scream at the dog.

A whole lot of fucking good that does me.  Try asking a dog what the fuck it's doing sometime and tell me what happens?  Here, I'll just tell you what happens now so you don't have to.

Nothing.  The dog doesn't give a fuck.  It's a fucking dog and it's attacking this bear.  Holy shit.

My dad jumps back as if to protect me, which is cool and all except this bear is massive and I'm pretty sure it could take us both down.  The dog leaps forward and barks at the bear and then dashes to the side.  The bear looks confused for a second, then falls back to the ground, on both legs again.  The dog doubles back, standing in front of me and my dad, then it barks and growls at the bear again.

Apparently bears don't like when you bark and growl at them.  Or jump towards them.  I don't recommend jumping on a bear, or barking and growling at it, but if that's all you've got left between you and your imminent demise, then, yeah, fuck it, why not?