Stepbrother Catfish: The Complete Series (16 page)

“So this is where you live…” he says more to himself than to me as he looks over my apartment.

“Get out,” I demand, still standing by the door.

“I can’t, Hailey,” he says, slowly turning back to face me.

“Sure you can. It’s easy. You put one foot in front of the other and walk out the door.”

“I can’t walk away from you.”

“No,” I say and shake my head. “No, don’t you even. Don’t you dare do this to me. I don’t want to hear it!”

I know exactly what he’s trying to do. He’s going to start talking, start saying things that make me weak. I can already feel the sting of tears. I’m so frickin sick of crying.

His face falls as he says, “I’m sorry, baby, I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t stand to see you hurting.”

“Then leave!” I cry out and wipe at my eyes with my sleeve. “And don’t call me baby!”

He takes a step toward me and reaches out as if he’s planning on touching me. “I can’t leave, Hailey. I just can’t do it. It’s killing me to be without you. I’ve wanted you for so long. You don’t even know how badly I’ve yearned for you.”

I look up at the ceiling, trying to hold it together. Trying my best to keep from crying.

I don’t care, I tell myself.
He’s just saying these things to mess with me.

“I know I told you I would wait for you,” he goes on, “that you could have as long as you need, but I had to come over here and tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”

Breathing deeply, I manage to keep the tears at bay. Looking back down, I focus my gaze on the center of his chest. It’s easier than looking at his face.

“Okay,” is all I say. It’s all I can say without completely losing it.

“I have done a lot of shitty things. I’ve done a lot of things to you that you do not deserve. I’ve lied to you, manipulated you, and taken advantage of you. And I am deeply ashamed. I am sorry.”

Oh, god. He’s apologizing for being an asshole to me. Why isn’t it making me feel better? Why isn’t it giving me any closure? It’s only making it hurt worse.

“I didn’t do them to hurt you,” he chokes on his own words. He takes a deep breath.

I feel the first tear trickle down my cheek.

“I’m sorry I hurt you, Hailey. And I don’t ever expect you to forgive me. But I want you to know I never lied when I said I love you. I love you, Hailey, and I will always love you, even if you do not love me.”

“Why?” I cry out and the dam holding the rest of my tears at bay breaks. “Why lie to me? Why do all of this? Why lie to me?”

His voice lowers almost to a whisper and he says as if he’s ashamed, “It was the only way I could get you to love me.”

My nose stings and my head aches. The tears keep coming, but I scowl at him anyway. “You couldn’t just be honest and upfront with me?”

“I wanted to be honest and open with you, from the very beginning. But Hailey, every time I tried to get close to you, you made it very clear you weren’t interested in me in that way.”

I made it clear I wasn’t interested in him in that way? Is he trying to trick me again or something?

“Don’t you remember,” he prompts me. “We used to get mistaken for a couple all the time.”

I nod but at the moment, between the tears and the aching, the memories are fuzzy.

“Every time we’d get mistaken for being together, you’d jump ten feet away from me.”

I remember now. Often times when we were out somewhere with our parents but our parents weren’t around, we would get mistaken for a couple. We don’t look very much alike and we were obviously together, so people would just assume we were dating. We’d get lots of comments from waitresses that we were cute and the like. I would jump away from him, every time. And I would quickly correct whoever made the mistake. He is my stepbrother. I never dreamed he could possibly have feelings for me in that way.

He takes another step toward me, “The only way I could get close to you was by making that online profile and reaching out to you as AJ.”

Just remembering AJ, remembering the full depth of his deception, starts to make me angry. Anger is good. Anger makes the tears stop coming.

I gave myself to AJ. I told him things, shared with him everything. At times, I even vented about Andrew. He let me do it. Just thinking about it is so damn humiliating.

“You catfished me.”

He nods, “I’m sorry.”

“You blackmailed me.”

He closes his eyes and nods again. “I’m sorry.”

“You lied to me. You manipulated me. You tricked me into being the other woman…”

“No,” he cuts me off forcefully. “You are the only woman, Hailey.”

“So you’re sticking with the Tiffany is crazy story?”

“She is crazy.”

“You’re a womanizer. I can’t even count how many girls I’ve seen you with. Were they all crazy?”

“I was just trying to fill the void. They meant nothing.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means,” he says, closing the distance between us. “No one can ever take your place.”

I can’t take this. It’s too much. He’s pushing himself into my personal bubble. I should run, my door is still open. I could probably make it too. But all I want to do is get closer to him. To take comfort in him. He’s right there, just waiting for me to do it.

“What do you want from me?” I ask.
Why are you torturing me?
I won’t look up. I won’t meet his eyes. I focus on that spot on his shirt.

His hands drop to his sides. I feel a mixture of regret and relief that he’s not trying to touch me.

“I want you, Hailey. I want all of you. I want everything. But I don’t deserve it. I don’t even have the right to ask for it. I just hope, that one day, you can forgive me. Can you forgive me?”

It’s taking every ounce of control I have to keep from breaking down and crying.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” I say softly.

I wish I could accept all of his apologies, right now and right here. But it’s too fresh, too raw. He’s a self-admitted liar. He could very well still be lying.

“Is there anything I can do to redeem myself to you?” he asks with his voice trembling.

I clench my eyes shut. I hate how he’s acting. I hate that he’s showing me that he’s in pain. I don’t want to feel sorry for him. I have to remind myself that he doesn’t deserve my sympathy.

“You made me feel so stupid. I feel so stupid right now. I’m like the stupidest person to walk on this planet. Ever.”

“You are not stupid,” he says firmly.

I shake my head, I completely disagree. “I believed all your lies. I fell for it all. Even after you catfished me.”

“That doesn’t make you stupid, Hailey. I’m the stupid one. I’m stupid for doing all of this shit. If I would have just told you, if I had the balls to ask you on a date, the proper way, things may have not turned out this way.”

I can’t do “what ifs” right now. If there’s one thing that is guaranteed to send me down a death spiral of despair, it’s thinking about all the things that could have been done differently. I can’t think about all the things that could be, either.

“Okay, whatever you say.”

“Fuck!” he yells out, surprising me. But he’s not yelling it at me. He’s yelling it at the ceiling.

Before I can process what’s happening, he reaches out to grab me. I flinch and move away.

“I can’t do this anymore, Hailey. I can’t let things end this way.”

“Don’t touch me!” I warn him and smack at his hands.

He grabs me by the arms anyway. “Scream at me. Throw things at me. Fucking punish me. Just do something to me, Hailey,” he pleads.

I look up at his face. It’s my biggest mistake. He’s crying. Glistening tears are streaming silently down his cheeks.

“Don’t just give up on me. Let me make it up to you. Let me spend every day showing you how much you mean to me.”

I shake my head, my own tears spilling down my cheeks. “I wish I could believe you.”

“I love you, Hailey. What can I do to get you to believe me?” he begs.

I don’t know. Maybe I could believe him and forgive him all the little lies. Maybe I could forgive him if all he did was catfish me. But I can’t be sure he’s not lying about Tiffany. In nine months, she could have his baby. Then what?

I take a deep, steadying breath then say, “You’ve admitted you would do anything to have me. Even if it means lying to me.’

He nods his head slowly.

“So what’s to keep you from lying about Tiffany?”

“I never lied about Tiffany.”

“But how can I believe you with all the other lies you’ve told me?”

“After the baby is born, if there even is a baby, I’ll petition to have a paternity test done.”

“So we’ll know for sure in nine months or so.”

“Yes, we’ll know for sure,” he agrees.

I meet his eyes. He’s still touching me, still has his hands on me. There’s just something about his touch that feels good, feels right, even when I’m mad at him.

“I want to forgive you,” I start and hesitate, not sure how to express what I’m feeling.

I’d feel so much better if I could forgive him. If I could just drop this load of pain and move on.

“But I can’t trust you. No matter how much I want to.”

Andrew’s face falls and he looks down. For a moment, I have the strongest urge to comfort him. He’s always been so strong, so in control. I hate seeing him like this. I hate seeing him weakened, because of me, because of all of this. It’s almost enough to make me believe he’s being honest with me. Almost.

He quickly regains his composure. His eyes lift back to mine, filled with determination. “I will earn back your trust.”

I open my mouth to speak, to tell him I’m not sure he can ever earn it back, but he cuts me off.

“I will earn back your trust, Hailey. And in nine months, when Tiffany has her baby, I’ll have the proof you need.”

A lot can happen in nine months.

He sees the doubt on my face and pulls me into him. “I’m not a good man. And I’ll never claim to be a good man. The world knows I’m an asshole. But I will always be good to you.”

I frown at him. I hate being so close to him, almost face to face. I can smell the small amount of cologne he dabs on his neck. I can feel the warmth he emanates. And I feel so small again.

His eyes darken, and his lids lower as he looks down at me. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Hailey. I’ll give you your space. I’ll give you your time to think. But don’t try to run, because in nine months, I’m coming for you, and I will convince you to marry me.”

His head dips and he kisses me. His mouth covers mine in a passionate, desperate kiss. It feels as if I was just struck by lightning, and it’s over just as fast. He pulls away. I stare at him, wide eyed, unable to breathe.

He smiles and his hands release me.

And, as if I wasn’t already shocked speechless, with my lips still tingling from his kiss, he has to go and say, “I’ve already bought the ring.” Then he leaves. He just steps around me and walks out of my apartment.

I can’t even…

He can’t be serious. That ring he bought wasn’t for me, it was for Tiffany.

I need to call my mom.

I spin around, my door is wide open to an empty hallway. I quickly shut it and securely lock it.

I run over to my window. A few moments later he emerges from my building. I watch him, whistling of all things, as he strolls over to his parked BMW. He unlocks his door, then looks up to my building. I duck, hoping he didn’t see me.

I listen carefully until I hear his car purring to life. I stand back up and watch his car as it speeds off until his red tail lights blur around a corner.

Then it hits me. All of that really happened. Andrew came over, begged my forgiveness, kissed me, and told me he means to marry me. In nine months.

He’s the one who’s crazy.

I’m crazy because I wish I could believe him.

Somewhere in my apartment, I can hear my phone buzzing. I hunt it down, finding it still in my purse but my purse somehow buried in the back of my closet.

I unlock my phone. I have about a hundred messages.

Most of the messages are from my mom. Wondering if I’m okay, why she hasn’t heard from me. As the messages go on, they get more demanding. She wants me to call her right now or else. Ugh.

Then there’s some messages from Andrew, still marked as coming from AJ. He too is worried about me. He tries to assure me he’s not texting me, trying to get back with me. He just wants to know I’m okay. He asks if I’d please set his mind at ease. Then his texts, too, get more demanding.

So he wasn’t lying about my mother, at least. I bring up her number, meaning to ring her, but I don’t even know what I’ll say. No doubt, she’s going to have lots of questions and I don’t have any answers. I don’t want to tell her what’s going on with Andrew.

How do I tell her I got catfished by my stepbrother? When I first found the ring in Andrew’s closet, I was so happy, so excited, I didn’t even think about having to tell our family. At the time, what our family thought didn’t matter to me. Now it means everything.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know what the future holds. I can’t risk my mom disowning me or hating me for being with Andrew. Not when everything is uncertain. Why potentially destroy my relationship with her? If he is lying about Tiffany and the baby is his, without her, I will truly have nothing left.

I try and try to think of some plausible explanation to give her. Why have I disappeared? Why haven’t I been at work? Maybe I could tell her I ran off to join the circus but ultimately decided clown college just wasn’t for me.

I decide to wing it.

The phone only rings twice before she answers. “Oh, my god, Hailey, are you okay? Is everything alright, honey?”

Hearing her voice chokes me up. I have to clear my throat before I say, “Yeah, mom. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? If you’re in some kind of trouble, you can tell me. You know you can tell me anything.”

If only I could.

“Mom, I’m okay, I promise.”

There’s a pause before she gives me an earful. “Good. I was so worried. I thought something terrible happened to you. I haven’t spoken to you in days, and Jack says you haven’t showed up for work. I was just about to call the police but Jack wanted to check with Andrew first. Did he get in touch with you?”

“Did Andrew get in touch with me?” I ask, not sure if she meant Jack.

“Yes, Andrew. He told me he had spoken to you recently and knew you were alright but he would personally check in on you for me.”

“Yes, mom,” I sigh, “Andrew came over.”

“Oh, you’re at home?”

“Yes, mom,” I say while looking around my apartment. Suddenly, while talking to her, it feels so cold and empty.

“Is Andrew still there?”

The question surprises me. Does she know what’s going on between us? “Why would he be?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted to thank him.”

“Well, he’s not here,” I say a little too bitterly. It’s just me, all by myself.

“Hailey, are you sure you’re okay?” My mom asks with her voice full of concern, as if she knows somethings up.

“I don’t know,” I sigh. I don’t know what I am anymore.

“Why don’t you come over and stay with us for a couple of days?”

As if she could sense my hesitation over the phone, she adds, “I miss you, honey. I’m not getting any younger.”

I groan. She just had to go there.

While I could use the distraction, and really do miss my mom, I have no desire to be anywhere near Jack. Especially now that I’ve broken our deal.

“Yeah, I don’t know…”

“Hailey,” my mom says in a tone that warns me I shouldn’t argue with her.

“Okay, mom, okay. I’ll come over in the morning.”

“We can swing by and pick you up tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Yes, honey, tonight.”

I sigh and throw my hand up in the air. It’s like, lately, I don’t get to have a say in anything, with anyone.

“Okay, fine. Just give me a little bit to pack.”

“Have you ate dinner?”

“Not yet.”

“Good. I’m making pot roast.”

“Sounds great,” I say as unenthusiastically as possible. I don’t really feel like eating.

“Okay, see you in a bit.”

“See you in a bit.”

I almost hang up the phone before the sound of her voice stops me. “Oh, and Hailey?”

“Yes, mom?”

“I love you.”

I sigh. “I love you, too.”

“Pack light,” she says and hangs up.

I do just that.

I don’t plan on staying with my mom for more than a day or two, max. I love my mom, and love spending time with her, but I can’t stand Jack. And if I’m stuck in a house with him for more than two days, who knows what’s going to happen. Especially now that I’ve broken our deal. I groan just thinking about it.

I’ve done exactly what he always claimed I would do. I stopped showing up for work.

Technically, Andrew fired me but I’m pretty sure I’m the only one he told about it. It’s just another thing I have to add to the growing list of things I really need to keep to myself.

Not being forthcoming with my mom over the phone is one thing. Keeping secrets from her in person will be almost impossible. She knows, she just knows, when things are going on with me. I’ve never been able to hide anything from her. And for some reason, I have this feeling that even right now, she suspects something is up.

After packing a small bag, I grab my purse and wait by the window. Once I see Jack’s car pull in to the spot Andrew’s car left open, I head to my door and lock up. I fly down my stairs and catch my mom and Jack before they start climbing up. The last thing I need is my mom poking around my apartment. She’ll just get on me for not keeping it spotlessly clean. Knowing her, she’ll start cleaning it before we leave and guilting me the entire time over it. And she won’t leave until she’s satisfied with it. She’s stubborn that way.

“Hey mom,” I say warmly and run up to her. She immediately embraces me in a hug.

“Hey, honey. Are you all ready to go?”

I pull back and nod my head to her.

“I’ll take your bag,” Jack says, drawing my attention to him.

He’s standing to the side, looking at me coldly. No doubt pissed at me for the inconvenience.

“That’s okay,” I tell him. “I’ve got it.”

He opens the door and then holds it open for us, “Then shall we, ladies?”

My mom smiles at Jack, as if he’s such the sweetie. His eyes soften towards her as she walks out, but return to hard steel when he looks back at me. I don’t know what I did to piss him off, he’s usually a lot better at hiding his contempt for me, but I know the next couple of days are going to be even more miserable than I anticipated. The thought to fake sick and stay home is strongly tempting.

I rush past Jack and out into the night. It was either that or run back to my apartment, and my mom is already outside, waiting for me. She’s standing by the passenger door. Jack is always the gentleman. She has to wait for him to open it for her. I walk to the back of the car. I have to wait too for him to open the trunk for me.

Jack gets my mom settled first then he finally pushes the button on his fob to pop the trunk. He walks around the front of the car, completely ignoring me. I drop my overnight bag in the trunk but keep my purse on me. I push the trunk down and look up. That’s when I see Tiffany down the street, gawking at me.

I don’t know how long she’s been there, but she’s looking at me as if she can’t believe what she’s seeing. Her mouth is hanging open, her thumbs are floating in the air above her phone as if she was in the middle of typing something.

At first, it doesn’t make any sense to me. Why is she so surprised to see me? What is she even doing in this neighborhood?

I walk around the back of the car to the rear passenger side door, meaning to get in.

She must think I’m coming after her. She stumbles backwards with a panicked look on her face.

Then, I get it. She probably recognizes Jack because he’s Andrew’s father. And if she recognizes him, she probably recognizes my mom.

From the look on her face, I’m pretty sure she just figured out my secret identity.

Jack yells at me to get in so I pull open the door and climb in. I barely get the door shut before he pulls away from the curb and we drive past Tiffany.

I have a bad feeling about all of this. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end. I turn around in my seat and watch Tiffany grow smaller and smaller.

Why was she laughing?