Steinbeck (36 page)

Now it is later and I have had both sleep and the drink and I still feel confused. Maybe that's the way I will always be. Gwyn had a bad night last night but that is usual the third day after. She is much better this morning. It is still fine and cool here. I don't know how long this can last. Next week I'll have to get back down to work. I don't want to interrupt this book too much. It is going too smoothly. At least it was and I think will again.

Thom is a very fine boy. He has just discovered a shrill shriek that is very piercing. He is experimenting in tones of awfulness. When it gets too bad I whistle on my fingers which is so much more awful than any scream he can give that he gives it all up in pure admiration.

Love,
John

New York
[August 1946]
Monday

Dear Ed:

I had your letters this morning, two of them, and I am writing immediately. The matter of death is very personal—almost like an idea—and it has to be discovered and accepted over and over again no matter what the age or the condition of the dying. And there is nothing for the outsider to do except to stand by and maybe to indicate that the person involved is not so alone as the death always makes him think he is. And that is why I am writing this letter.

The enclosed is for anything you want or need it for. It does occur to both Gwyn and me that in all of this there is some necessity of saving yourself, and I don't mean physically, and it is a thing that would occur last to you. We thought that you might like to use it to come on to see us for a couple of weeks. We thought further that a complete change of background and people for a little while might have restorative effects beyond almost anything. Perhaps we are wrong, but believe please that we would be very happy if you would do that. Think it over anyway.

I spoke to Pat about the Guggenheim thing this morning and he suggests that you give Viking Press as one of your sponsors. He says that the interest of a publisher sometimes has some weight. So please remember that, will you?

The book sails on and I must admit that I am fascinated with it. It may be no good at all. I don't know but it holds my interest which is the most important thing.

That good Gwyn is making a lemon pie or two this afternoon than which nothing is lemoner nor nicer nor that I like more. The children are well and getting along nicely.

love to you
from both of us.
jn

Copenhagen
October 30, 1946

Dear Elizabeth and Mildred and Annie Laurie and all:

We are ensconced in the Hotel and Gwyn has a sore throat and we have been considerably pushed about. Coming in there were about thirty cameramen with flashlights and it was dreadful. The phone started calling while we were still at sea and the only way I saved myself from complete hell was by seeing all the reporters yesterday morning. I didn't know anyone treated writers like this. It is the sort of thing that would greet Lana Turner if it became known that she was going to come into Grand Central Station without any clothes on. And it is all so kind and well meant but it is very embarrassing. Every morning there is a mound of books to be autographed, and presents. Went to a night club last night and the orchestra leader played Stephen Foster in my honor. We've seen old friends and new ones, have had millions of toasts and the trip over was a dream.

Today we went to the legation to lunch. There was a Danish baroness or countess there [Baroness Blixen] with her attorney. It seems that during the war in desperation she turned to writing and in English. She used pseudonyms [Isak Dinesen] and had little idea of publication. She wrote Seven Gothic Tales which caused quite a stir and Random House published it. Now she has another which is Book of the Month selection for January. She has no representative in America and now the picture companies are after her and she came to ask me what to do. Her attorney says he is out of his depth. Naturally I told her about you. She is an incredible little woman. I do recommend her to you. Her work needs the management you can give it. You can reject her if you wish but I think she might be a profitable and pleasant client.

We are really having a good time but we will only know later whether it has been a vacation or not.

We went to see castles yesterday and Gwyn loved them. I got an idea for a wonderful story from it.

Copenhagen has not been physically hit badly. The air raid shelters are everywhere, but they planted grass on them. That is like the Danes. It is a lovely country. And now that they have stopped photographing us we can relax.

Love to you all,
John

New York
December 16 [1946]

Dear Bo:

The photographs of the portrait arrived and I took one of them over to Viking Press. It has caused a great deal of enthusiasm and makes me all the more anxious to have the original as soon as possible.

Have not been feeling well. I don't know why. I am taking some vitamins to see whether it could be a food deficiency. The depression has lasted too long this time and I don't like it at all.

I have not gone back to work and that bothers me. I shouldn't take these long rests. They aren't good for my soul or whatever it is that makes you sick. I make myself think that I will go back to work right after Christmas and maybe I will. I think Gwyn and the children will go to California for a month or six weeks about the first of February to let the children see their relatives. But I will just stay here and get back to work. Marital vacations are sometimes good things. Not that we need them very much. But just as the trip to Europe made us love our house so we get to liking each other with a little time spent apart.

Relationships are very funny things. I've wondered what I would think if this one were over and I think I would only be glad that it had happened at all. I don't think I would rail at fortune, but then it is impossible to know what you would do in any given situation unless you have experienced it. It was and would be silly of me to make any sort of judgement about your difficulty because I do not know all the factors. But you'll never get out clear no matter which way you go. A man going on living gets frayed and he drags little tatters and rags of things behind him all the rest of his life and his suit is never new after he has worn it a little. I've had such a bad time the last three or four weeks. The complete and meaningless despair that happens without warning and without reason that I can figure unless there happens to be some glandular disarrangement. So I am trying to do what I can about that and to see whether the feeling will go away.

Next Sunday we have our tree decorating party. It will be a fairly large party with at least forty people but they are all nice people. In fact about the best in the city for interest. Gwyn is going to have a midnight supper and I will make a monster bowl of punch and there we will be. The idea is to decorate our Christmas tree in the course of the evening. All sorts of arguments usually develop, aesthetic ones.

It should be a very fine Christmas.

Good luck and come out from under,

Kiev, Ukraine, U.S.S.R.
August II [1947]

Dear Pat:

A short note anyway. We've been down here for a week and will stay until next Friday. It is beautiful country and a beautiful city but it was brutally, insanely destroyed by the Germans. The rebuilding goes on everywhere but under the great difficulty of no machinery yet. My note book is getting very full and Capa is taking very many pictures, many of them fine I think. These Ukrainians are hospitable people with a beautiful sense of humor. I am setting down whole conversations with farmers and working people for fear I might forget them. We are lucky to be able to come here. We have seen so many things.

 

 

August 13

Just came from a farm. Very good time and lots of information. We are the first foreigners who have been in the country here in many years. The children look at us in wonder for they have only heard of Americans and sometimes not too favorably. The farmers and working people are a pleasure to talk to and even the necessity of talking through interpreters does not eliminate the salt of their speech.