Steel Rush (In the Shadows#5) (19 page)

“Names, Cass,” he says again, his tone eerie-calm.

Too
calm. He’s also amazingly still, like a hunter waiting patiently for a deer to walk right into his crosshairs.

I shake my head and roll onto my back. “It’s in the past where it belongs.” Holding my wrists up, I turn them so he can see the tattoos in the firelight. “It took me a few years to get my head on straight, but I got these as a reward for swearing off cutting.” When Calder raises up on his elbow and encircles my left wrist with his hand, I point to the Never script on my arm. “I got this one later, after I relapsed and accidently cut too deep.” His hand cinches around my wrist and his gaze snaps to my face, full of worry, but I keep going. I need to finish so he’ll understand. “The ‘Never’ reminds me that for my own sanity, I have to let the past go. It’s also a promise to myself and my sister to never be a victim or allow myself to cut, ever again.”

I capture his hand and lower it to my chest. “Peace of mind is what matters to me, Calder. I worked very hard for that.” The sensation of his fingers flexing against my breast makes me instinctively arch into his palm. Calder’s nostrils flare, and as he cups my breast fully, I slide my fingers into his hair and pull him close to press my lips to his jawline. “When I’m with you, that part of my past fades into the background. Help me forget it ever happened. Show me that I’m capable of being as uninhibited as I want to be.”

He holds my gaze for a couple seconds, then prowls back over me, his gorgeous eyes full of banked hunger. Rubbing his nose along my cheek, he slides his fingers into my hair, then presses his forehead to mine. “If you’re serious, then I’m going to ask for your complete trust. Can you do that?”

I flatten my palms along his stubbled cheeks, my stomach fluttering with excitement. “With you…always.”

Worry flickers in his gaze, before he gives me a dark smile and bites my bottom lip. My skin prickles as he moves to my chin and then my throat. I start to slide my hands in his hair, but he glances up and shakes his head. “You can’t touch me.”

I frown. “Why not?”

“You’re trusting me, remember?” he says in a silky tone. “But since you most likely won’t listen,” he pauses and slips off his dog tags. “I’m just going to have to improvise. Give me your hands.”

The moment I lift my hands toward him, he sits up on his knees and wraps the beaded necklace around my wrists, doubling it up until I have just a little room to move. Tapping his finger on the dog tags, he flips them upward and against my palm, saying, “Keep these safe for me.”

I fold my fingers over on the tags, clasping them in my right hand and tease. “They’re not going anywhere.”

Calder pushes my arms to the floor, softly commanding, “Keep them here. I hope the necklace will remind you to do that. Otherwise we’ll have to find another way.”

I smile at his low threat, wondering what other inventive ways he has in mind, but I leave my arms where he put them. “I’m good.”

Calder cups the back of my neck and arches my throat as he bends to run his lips down the curved skin until he reaches my collarbone. “Did you know there is a spot here that will make you squirm?” he murmurs, his tone deceptively innocent.

“Really? Whereee—” I gasp as he locks his teeth on the edge of the bone closest to my shoulder. I’m caught like a rabbit in a wolf’s maw. I can’t struggle or pull away. My heart thumps hard against my chest and a shudder of anticipation thrums through me. All I can do is lay still and wait for him to release me.

Calder slowly slides his fingers over my breast, his hand massaging and weighing the plump flesh. When his palm rubs along my nipple, my stomach clenches and I take an aroused breath, waiting for him to pinch the tip. Instead, he releases my collarbone and quickly moves to capture my nipple between his teeth, clamping down with aggressive force.

Moaning deeply, I nearly come off the floor, my spine arched in primal response. I instinctively lift my arms to clasp him close, but the necklace reminds me of my promise. I clamp my lips together and lower my arms back to the floor while shamelessly pressing my chest closer to encourage more of his rough branding. This is my kind of sex play.

Calder chuckles against my breast, then gently sucks the tip into his warm mouth once more while tweaking my other nipple with his fingers.

I sigh my pleasure and fold my foot over his muscular calf, trying to pull him to me, but he quickly grabs my thigh and clasps it tight, pushing my leg back. “None of that, sweet Raven. This is my time. You can only touch me when I give you permission to.”

While I snort my disapproval of such a plan, he moves to my stomach, planting light kisses along my skin. He lingers at my belly button. Dipping his tongue inside the small crevice, he presses a soft kiss to my skin. “I feel your pulse racing, angel. It’s an arousing
thump, thump, thump
, but I’m going to make it jump ten times faster.”

“I know one way you can make it fuel a jet engine,” I offer suggestively.

“Shhh,” he says right before he bites my mons. As I let out a moaning gasp at his unparalleled talent of mixing pleasure and pain, he continues, his warm breath rushing across my sex. “I’m running this show. Not you.”

“But everyone knows the show is really all about the main attraction. And that would be
me
,” I tease as I lift my hands and point to my head.

Calder lets out a low laugh as he trails his fingers along my thighs. Pushing them open, he looks up at me with wicked intent. “But this is a concert, angel. Yes, there will be upbeats and downbeats, tender passages and vigorous lines, even playing with texture, but it’s not really about the orchestra, though we do enjoy the beautiful sound in our ears.” He slowly taps his fingers on the insides of my knees as he stares hungrily at my sex, already strategizing.

Lowering his head, he swipes his tongue along my entrance and all the way to my clit. My skin prickles from the brief tease, but my whole body clenches and heats up when he straightens and closes his eyes as a growl of pleasure rolls through him.

His green eyes snap open, full of fire and lustful determination as they collide with mine. “No, Raven mine…the attention goes to the conductor. With both hands working different aspects of the score, his direction is intentionally coordinated and emotionally tied to the outcome. He is the main attraction.”

That’s a tantalizing statement I can’t argue with. Calder’s hard chest and flexing muscles are a gorgeous sight, but his mind utterly fascinates. It’s hard to believe that the same man who’s trained to kill with his bare hands and who participates in violent MMA fights, also appreciates and understands the finer aspects of all types of music. Even classical. As he looks at me as if he plans to literally devour my body, every bone liquefies.
He’s
the one I want to watch…the one who will entertain and enthrall. I want to get caught up in his charisma. To be fully consumed by him.

Tapping my toes three times on the carpet, I roll my hips to encourage him. “Let the concert begin, Maestro.”

The carnal look in his eyes shoots right through me before he grasps my right ankle. Bending my knee fully upright, he sets my foot down, then does the same to the other foot. “Keep them here and don’t move them unless I tell you to.”

I take an unsteady breath and nod my agreement, my gaze greedily eating up the flickering firelight playing across his shoulder and chest muscles as he touches the sensitive insides of my thighs. Sliding his hands up to my knees, he applies pressure along the way, silently telling me to angle them wider.

When I apply pressure against his hands, his gaze seeks mine, eyebrows raised.
Trust me.
This is the most exposed I’ve ever allowed myself to be with anyone. It’s scary and decadent and arousing all at once. Calder rests his hand on my knee and squeezes, his touch releasing the tension in my legs and I let him open me fully.

He rewards me with a pleased smile then grasps my ankle. I’m unprepared for the sensation of his mouth on the tender space right under my ankle bones. It’s so sensitive, I instantly try to jerk my foot free, but Calder clasps my calf muscle tight, holding me in place. He moves up my leg, alternating with tender kisses and aggressive nips.

Desire swirls in my belly, the toes on my other foot digging into the carpet. I curl my fingers tight around the dog tags in my hand and the sensation of the tiny beads biting into the sensitive scars on my wrists is surprisingly erotic.

Calder finally makes his way to my sex, but instead of giving it attention, he slides past my wet center and reaches for the other ankle.

Are you fucking kidding me?
I glare at him as he slowly lifts the other foot.
He’s not possibly going to do the exact same thing to the other side. That would just be cruel.
When he pushes up to his knees and takes my leg with him, I start to exhale a sigh of relief, but end up sucking the air into my lungs in a deep groan and hike my hips off the floor as he bites down on my Achilles tendon.

Calder’s only response is to flatten his palm on my stomach and push me back to the floor. “Stay put, angel,” he commands, then returns to silently torturing me down the entire back of that leg.

Once he reaches the spot where my leg meets my body, he lowers my leg back to the floor and slides his hands to my ass, grabbing both muscle cheeks in a firm hold. When his thumbs tug at my opening with slow, precise pressure, I exhale slowly to remain still.

I’m shaking and barely able to keep my knees bent, let alone my feet flat on the floor, but the sensation of his breath rushing close to me but not touching is more than I can take. “Enough Calder,” I snap. “Taste me before I kill you.”

He glances sharply at me. “Not a word.”

Clamping my lips together, I close my eyes and tug harder against the necklace, letting the metal dig into my skin ruthlessly.

The deep thrust of his tongue in my channel takes me by surprise. I nearly surge off the floor at first, but then I press against him, seeking more. Calder’s big hands grasp my thighs tight and he consumes my body with merciless abandon.

When I try to put my foot on his back, he yanks it back down to the floor with a fierce growl and then punishes my clit with a sharp nip. I let out a keening cry of shock. He’s not fucking around about my feet.

I rock against his mouth, taking what he’s giving but wanting so much more. “God, just fuck me, Calder. This is too much,” I whimper, my whole body shaking for release.

He grunts and slides two fingers deep in my channel. I gasp and clench him tight, tears of relief falling into my hair. Calder flicks my clit with his tongue and an intense orgasm rocks through me.

I just start to exhale a sigh of sheer bliss, when he pushes his thumb on my clit and lifts his head, growling, “Stay with me, angel.”

“Wha—” A gasp of deep arousal cuts off my comment. His fingers are stroking my g-spot with unrelenting determination.

I tense, my body wanting to fold in half and hide from the intensity. “Cal—Calder.” Hot and cold shoots from my head to my toes and prickles form on my skin. “I don’t think I can take this.”

Calder pauses his movements and looks up at me. “Give yourself over, Cass. This is the freedom you asked for,” he says, his tone both brutal and velvet with dark promises.

I swallow and close my eyes tight. My heart is racing like crazy, but it feels like it’s only speeding up. Finally I nod.

“That’s my girl,” Calder says. He presses a kiss to my mons at the same time he hits a spot and doesn’t let up.

I arch my back and neck, my whole being centered on his masterful manipulation of my body. Panting hard, I undulate my hips with his movements as the tension coils inside me.

“You’re close,” he says, and a new sensation layers over the ones already in play as he slides a different finger in my ass and clamps his lips over my clit.

Calder completely consumes me with sensory overload. My body is chilled and my face is on fire. “Cald…it’s too much.”

“Fuck, you’re beautiful like this. Let go and come all over me, Raven mine.”

As soon as his mouth latches onto my clit once more, a rush of warmth and body-rocking vibrations flow through me, taking my orgasm to new heights. I hang on to a temporary plane, where want and desire coalesce with body and mind in one massive emotional wave of release, changing everything I thought I knew about my body and sex.

I lay there for a minute, completely spent and panting. Only warm droplets hitting my chest brings my gaze into focus. Calder’s standing next to the sink, a smug grin on his face as he flicks more soapy water at me. “Welcome back.”

I quickly stand up behind him. As I untangle my wrists from his necklace, my legs wobble and almost give out. Just as I grip the edge of the counter, Calder reaches behind him and hooks his arm around me, hauling me against his back. “Whoa, Cass. I got you.”

Clasping his dog tags, I wrap my arms around his trim waist and press my face against his arm. He’s so freaking hot and as his gorgeous green eyes hold mine in the mirror, my face blooms with color. My naturally dried hair is a mess of dark curls, making my face look even more heart-shaped. I look like a wild thing, but a happy one. “That was…that um…”

“Out of this world? Transcendent? Life changing?” he supplies, grinning at my reflection in the mirror.