Stay as Sweet as You Are (43 page)

Elsie couldn’t say any more for laughing. She covered her face with her two hands and her whole body shook with laughter. ‘Yer were right, queen,’ she spluttered, ‘it is bleedin’ funny.’

‘Ah, ay, Elsie, come on.’ Billy was sitting on the edge of his seat in anticipation. ‘What happened next?’

Elsie wiped her chubby hands across her eyes, savouring the words that were to come from her mouth. ‘Well, in between trading punches, I told our Rosie I was trying to get Joan to apologise for hitting her. And Rosie started jumping up and down like a jack-in-the-box. “It wasn’t this Joan what hit me, Mam, it was Joan Smedley.”’

In the midst of all the laughter, Bob felt like giving Elsie a big kiss. This time last night, lying on the hard couch, his mind in turmoil, he thought he would never laugh again. ‘Elsie, you are one good sport.’

‘I thought I was a good boxer, too, until I came up against Annie Craven. She can’t half pack a punch, believe me. The tops of me arms are black and blue.’

Ada Smithson’s thin lips were working overtime. ‘It serves yer bloody well right for jumping to the wrong conclusion.’

Elsie leaned across the table. ‘I might not be a match for Annie Craven, but a little one like you I could make mincemeat out of. So just watch it.’

‘Yer must have landed a few punches, though, Elsie,’ Billy said. ‘I mean, ye’re capable of handling yerself.’

‘Oh, I landed more than a few, Billy. But the crafty cow made sure she kept her bleedin’ face out of the way. Still, she took it in good part and we shook hands to make up. And the neighbours didn’t half enjoy it – they fell about laughing. I met a woman this morning who said she laughed that much she wet her knickers.’

‘What did yer husband have to say about it?’ Kate asked. ‘Did he think it was funny?’

‘Did he hell’s like! He ranted and raved until me head was splitting. “Fighting in the street like a fishwife! Only women as common as muck do that.”’ Elsie’s round face beamed. ‘But I got round him in bed with some sweet-talking and a few other things, and he went to sleep with a smile on his face. And another good thing came out of it. If the kids in the street break every bone in our Rosie’s body, she’ll never come crying to me again.’

Bob smiled across at Kate. ‘I could do with Elsie in our house. I bet there’s never a dull moment when she’s around.’

‘She is a case, there’s no doubt about that.’ Kate leaned her elbows on the table. ‘I didn’t have you down as someone careless enough to cut yerself on nails that yer knew darn well were sticking out of the wood. It doesn’t sound like you, somehow.’

Bob made sure Billy was still listening to the women talking before replying: ‘It’s my story and I’m sticking to it, Kate. Except to you. I’m not going to lie to you. My wife came home on Saturday night at a quarter to twelve, rotten drunk. She could barely walk or stand up. I’d been out for a drink meself, with the neighbours, but we got home just after ten, when the pubs close, and I was in bed when Ruby came in. We don’t even speak to each other now, so I turned on me side and was going to leave her to get on with it. But I heard her striking a match to light a ciggie, and the condition she was in, I was afraid of her setting the house on fire. So I took the matches from her for safety. She made a grab for them and scratched the back of me hand in the process. They’re quite deep scratches, too, ’cos she has her nails very long and painted a bright red.’ Bob gave a hollow laugh. ‘It’s a good thing for me that she was too drunk to stand or she’d have made for me face.’

Kate pursed her lips and blew out her breath. ‘That’s
terrible, Bob. I don’t know what to say, except I really am sorry.’

‘Can yer imagine what this lot would say if I told the truth? I’d be a laughing stock.’

Kate nodded. ‘Stick to yer story. They’ll believe yer ’cos they’ve no reason not to. It’s just that I’ve come to know yer so well over the months, I can tell when yer’ve got something on yer mind.’

Bob puffed on his cigarette and made a smoke ring. He watched it rise towards the ceiling as his heart urged him to say what was on his mind. ‘Kate, I want to ask yer something. Yer don’t have to answer if yer don’t want to, but whether yer do or not, I’m asking yer not to fall out with me over it.’

‘What is it, Bob?’

‘If I was a single man, and I asked yer to come out with me one night, for a drink or to the flicks, would yer come?’

‘If yer were single, Bob, yes, I would go out with yer.’

‘Thanks, Kate, yer’ve made me a very happy man. I’m not in a position at the moment to take yer up on it, but who knows what the future holds?’

‘Last day of yer leave, eh, son?’ Aggie rapped her fingers on the wooden arm of her rocking chair. ‘Are yer sorry it’s over, or will yer be glad to get back to the sea?’

Titch shrugged his shoulders. ‘All good things come to an end, Ma, whether we like it or not.’

‘That doesn’t answer me question, son. Will yer be glad to get back or not?’

Titch looked uncomfortable. ‘Yeah, I suppose so. Although I’ve got to say I’ve enjoyed being home. We’ve had some good laughs, haven’t we?’

‘We certainly have. Particularly on Lucy’s birthday when we all went to the flicks. I don’t think I ever seen anyone as happy as she was that night. She was beside herself with excitement. I think she looks on yer as a second father when Bob’s on shiftwork. She won’t half miss yer when yer’ve gone.’

‘I’ll miss her, too, she’s a lovely kid. I’ll miss you most of all, though, Ma, but that goes without saying. And the rest of the gang, they’re real good mates.’

Oh God, Aggie thought. It’s like trying to get blood out of a stone. But she had to bring it up now, ’cos he’d be gone tomorrow. ‘Isn’t there someone in particular that yer’ll miss more than anyone else?’

‘Yeah, I’ve just told yer. I’ll miss you the most.’

‘Well, seeing as I’m yer mother, I’d expect that.’ Aggie raised her eyes to the ceiling and asked the Good Lord to give
her patience. ‘But what about Olive?’

While Titch’s face turned the colour of beetroot, he stared at Aggie as though he didn’t understand the question. ‘What about Olive?’

‘Listen, son, I might be old in years, but I’m still sound in mind and body. And there’s nowt wrong with me bleedin’ eyes or ears, either. Every morning yer’ve been sat at that table, all spruced up, waiting for Olive to call in on her way home from work. Am I right?’

‘Well, yer wouldn’t want me to sit here all scruffy, would yer? Yer’d soon have something to say if I did.’

‘Can we stop beating about the bush, son? Have you, or have yer not, taken more than a passing fancy to Olive? And don’t start humming and hawing, otherwise yer bleedin’ ship will be sailing off without yer.’

Titch dropped his head back and roared with laughter. ‘Ma, yer have a very delicate way of phrasing things. No formalities for you, yer believe in getting right down to the point.’

‘I’m getting on in years, son, I don’t have time to hang around. And I’m not waiting three or four bleedin’ months to find out if I’m right, so come on, out with it.’

‘I hope this conversation isn’t going to be repeated to the lady in question? If it is, then my lips are sealed.’

‘I said I was getting on in years, son, I didn’t say I was going senile. Ye’re all I’ve got in life, so it’s natural I want to share everything with yer. I want to know what’s going on in that head of yours and what yer hopes and plans for the future are.’

‘There’s not much to tell, Ma, I’m afraid. But as I know yer won’t be satisfied with that, I’ll tell yer where I’m up to. Last year, when we were all trying to get Olive back on the road to recovery, I told her to start getting out and about and meeting people. I said she was young and attractive enough to meet a man who she could come to care for. She told me plainly that she would never marry again because no one would ever take the place of Jim. I can’t remember the exact
words, but I said something like she shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the idea. Anyway, it was a friendly conversation, and as far as I was concerned, Olive was just a good friend, nothing more.’

Titch smiled at his mother who was leaning forward in her chair, her eyes filled with expectation. ‘Are yer with me so far, Ma?’

‘Hanging on to every word, son. Ye’re taking yer bleedin’ time about it, but I’ll forgive yer for that as long as the ending is the one I want to hear.’

‘That’s just it, Ma, I haven’t got an ending for yer. But I’ll tell yer what my feelings are and yer can figure it out for yerself. As I said, when I went back to sea that time, as far as I was concerned Olive was like Irene, just a friend I was fond of. Then I found meself thinking about her a lot, and when the ship docked in Liverpool I was like a young boy, eager to see her. And I still feel the same way. But I’m afraid of saying anything in case I frighten her off. So I’m just biding me time and waiting for a sign that tells me she feels more for me than friendship.’

Aggie sat back in her chair and for a while her face was serious. Then came a smile and chuckle. ‘Here’s me thinking yer were too slow to catch a ruddy cold. But ye’re right, son, about taking yer time. That’s the best way to do it, and it’ll come out right in the end. But yer know, sometimes the onlooker sees more of the game than the people taking part. From what I’ve seen, I’d say that Olive has a definite leaning towards you. And as I’d like yer to go away with hope in yer heart, I’ll let yer into a little secret. When Olive comes here every morning for her cuppa she’s always got a turban on her head, an old pair of slippers on her feet and there’s definitely not a trace of lipstick. Then when you come home it’s a different story. The hair’s nicely combed, she has a pair of shoes on and her lips are more red than nature intended. So I’d say yer were both dressing up for each other. And that to me, my dearly beloved son, is a very good sign. Ye’re both
moving forward slowly, and when the time is right, yer’ll meet each other halfway.’

‘Ye’re a sucker for romance, aren’t yer, Ma? Ye’re wasting yer time, yer should be writing love stories.’

‘That’s as maybe. But I’m also impatient. So don’t be dragging yer heels with Olive.’ Aggie rubbed a finger up and down the side of her nose. And trying to sound casual, she asked, ‘By the way, are yer seeing her tonight?’

‘I’ll be going over to say goodbye, yes. Why?’

‘Well, always being one who liked to help the course of true love, I’ll wangle it so yer have a bit of time on yer own. Just tell Steve I’ve got a little job for him to do, and that will get him out of yer way for a while.’

‘What job’s that, then, Ma?’

Aggie shook her head and clicked her tongue. ‘It won’t be whitewashing the bleedin’ yard wall, yer daft nit. But I’ll think of something. And if Olive is looking her best, with her hair nice and lipstick on, then take it from me that she’s dressed herself up just for you. So don’t waste time sitting there twiddling yer ruddy thumbs, make the most of the time yer’ve got. Drop a few hints and sow a few seeds. That’ll give her something to ponder on while ye’re away. If ye’re too slow, yer might come home to find she’s married the flaming coalman.’

Titch smiled. How lucky he was to have this woman for his mother. ‘Ma, the coalman’s married with half a dozen kids.’

‘Which just goes to show he was a damn sight quicker off the mark than you are.’

‘Yer’ve got an answer for everything, Ma, so would yer like to come down to Olive’s with me? Yer can tell me what to say and when to say it.’

‘Blimey! Would yer like me to hold yer hand and wipe yer nose for yer?’

Titch left his chair and went to kneel in front of Aggie. He held his arms wide and said, ‘Give us a hug.’

Locked in each other’s arms, Aggie whispered in his ear, ‘I
only want what’s best for yer, son. And I don’t know anyone who would make yer a better wife than Olive.’ She moved back so she could look into his face. ‘And I’d have a daughter and a grandson that I couldn’t love any more if they were me own.’

‘Don’t be counting yer chickens, Ma, ’cos I’d hate to see yer disappointed.’

‘I won’t be, son, so don’t worry.’ Aggie had a good feeling about this and her heart was singing. ‘Whatever happens I’ll still have you.’

‘Hello, Mrs Aggie.’ Steve was growing more handsome by the day. He was still wearing the clothes Titch had given him and always looked immaculate. He and his mam were still struggling for money, but they took good care of the things they had. ‘Mr Titch said yer wanted to see me. He said yer had a job for me.’

‘Ah well, that’s not strictly true.’ Aggie waved him to a chair. ‘In fact, sweetheart, it was a downright lie.’

Steve’s dimple appeared when he smiled. ‘What are yer up to, Mrs Aggie?’

When Aggie sat down and folded her arms, there was mischief glinting in her eyes. ‘Whatever it is I’m up to, sweetheart, I want you to be up to it with me. I’d say we’d make good partners, don’t yer think?’

‘Mrs Aggie, ye’re not thinking of robbing a bank, are yer?’

‘No, yer need guns for that, son. And I lent mine to Edward G. Robinson for his latest gangster picture. So I can’t offer yer anything so exciting.’

‘In that case, count me in, partner.’

‘I need a promise from yer first, Steve. That this will be our secret and yer won’t tell anyone, not even yer mam. In fact, especially not yer mam.’

Steve made a sign on his chest. ‘Cross my heart and hope to die.’

Aggie smiled. ‘Right then, down to business. I asked yer to
come up here so Titch and yer mam could have some time together. Yer see, I’ve got a sneaking feeling that they like each other.’

‘Ye’re not the only one, Mrs Aggie, ’cos I think so, too.’

‘There yer are, then! I think it and you think it. The only ones that won’t admit it are the two silly beggars involved. And that’s because they’re both afraid of showing their feelings.’ Aggie was thinking that as soon as Steve left, her teeth were coming out. How could she think properly when the damn things were getting on her nerves. Vanity was one thing, being miserable was another. ‘Tell me, sweetheart, what makes yer think they like each other?’

‘Because they’re at great pains not to show it. But me mam is a different person when Mr Titch is home. She takes more pride in her appearance for one thing, and she’s like a cat on hot bricks when she’s expecting him down. And she never used to be shy in his company, but she is now.’