Starting Now (29 page)

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she rushed to tell him. She stopped just short of saying she couldn’t be Sally. He’d come to her
and she needed to listen and not leap to conclusions or make rash judgments.

“I didn’t do anything wrong … but,” he hesitated, looking her way for the first time.

“But what?” she asked softly, her heart rate accelerating rapidly.

“But you grew so quiet and then you wanted to leave and I was sure I must have said or done something to offend you.”

“You didn’t, Roy, it’s just that …”

“What?” he urged, taking one step closer.

She looked down, wondering how best to address the subject.

He moved slightly closer. “I like you, Robin.” He twisted his head to one side and briefly squeezed his eyes shut.

“I … like you, too,” she rushed to tell him.

“You do?” He sounded shocked.

She nodded.

“I mean, I really like you; I have for a long time, but I didn’t know how to let you know and then I saw you at the fund-raiser and we talked and …”

“Roy,” she breathed, hardly able to believe what he said. “Are you telling me … are you saying you’re interested in me romantically?”

He didn’t answer right away, and then he exhaled slowly. “Would it be all right if I sat down?”

“Of course.”

He claimed the chair Libby had recently vacated.

Robin sat on the sofa across from him, the folded blanket still pressed against her stomach like a security shield.

“I married Sally when we were barely out of high school.”

Sally again. Robin forced back a groan.

“I’ve only been with one woman my entire adult life. When she died I assumed that I’d live alone until I died, too.”

Robin wasn’t sure any comment was required of her.

“But I’ve been lonely. I’m over fifty …”

“That’s not old,” she blurted out.

“Some days it feels like it.”

“It shouldn’t,” she added with a shy smile.

He offered her one in return and it felt as if her heart was melting inside her chest.

He exhaled again. “What I’m trying to say and doing a terrible job of … is that I realized I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love again, but since being with you … I think it’s a possibility.” He looked down at his hands. “I’d like to date you, Robin. I …”

“Okay,” she said, laughing at herself. He was talking about her now, not Sally.

“We can start slow …”

“Okay, whatever you want.” It probably wasn’t in good taste to show how eager she was.

“Do you play bridge?” he asked.

“No, but I can learn.”

“I’ll teach you,” he said, grinning.

She nodded.

He smiled and she smiled back.

“How about Wednesday night? We can have dinner and then we’ll have our first bridge lesson. I’ll invite the Wainwrights over and …”

“The Wainwrights?”

“Yes, they were friends of Sally’s and mine and …”

Robin stopped him. “Roy,” she said, “I do think there’s something I should say: I’m not Sally. If you’re looking for a replacement for her, then it’s not me.” It amazed her that her spirits could rise and fall so swiftly. She supposed she should be honored that he’d chosen her as a replacement for his dead wife, but Robin wanted … needed to be loved for herself.

“Sally and I used to play bridge as often as three times a week.”

“I’m honored that you have such confidence in my card-playing ability,” she murmured.

“We used to dance, too. Do you dance?”

She shook her head. He’d talked at length about his and Sally’s love of dancing.

Everything he said confirmed her worst suspicions.

“I believe I might have spoken too soon,” she whispered. “The thing is, Roy, we really don’t have that much in common.”

“But you said you’d be willing to learn,” he reminded her.

“Yes, I did, but at the time I didn’t realize that you were looking for me to just play the role of Sally. You must have loved her a great deal.”

“I did.”

“There’s probably someone out there who plays bridge and likes to dance and do all the things you did with Sally. I’m honored that you want to do those same things with me, but I can see right now, this relationship won’t work. I’m sorry, Roy, so very sorry.”

His eyes widened and it looked for a moment as if he was about to argue with her. “Okay, I can accept that.”

He stretched his arm toward her as if to shake her hand. Robin smiled and walked toward him. She slipped her arms around him. Slowly his arms came around her, his touch gentle, tentative.

After a few moments he slowly released her. “I blew this, didn’t I? I said all the wrong things.”

“You were honest.”

Robin stepped away from him for fear she would change her mind. Part of her was more than willing to be a stand-in for his dead wife, hoping against hope that he would eventually grow to love her, too. Quickly she changed her mind. The stakes were much too high.

Without another word, he reluctantly turned and left.

Surprisingly, after a few minutes Robin felt better than she had in days. Worlds better. The disappointment and frustration she’d carried on her shoulders was gone. She’d laid her cards on the table and it was a relief.

It couldn’t have been easy for Roy to seek her out. She admired him for the courage it had taken to come to her condo.

The doorbell chimed again and Robin opened it to find Libby with a take-out bag dangling from each hand. “I got us Italian.”

“I love Italian.”

“Me too, and I worked out this morning, and you didn’t,” Robin’s friend reminded her.

“I’ll be there Wednesday,” Robin said, and took one bag away from Libby.

“Hey, you’re looking much better.” Libby grinned as if she were solely responsible for the transformation.

“I feel better.” But she didn’t say why.

Opening a kitchen drawer, Robin removed two forks and handed the first one to Libby. They moved to the small kitchen table by the window. Robin had a view of the Seattle skyline. As she glanced out at the street she saw Roy standing on the corner across from her building. He had his hands in his pockets and he remained frozen, looking up at her floor. It was impossible for him to see her.

After a moment or two he removed his hand from his pocket, pressed his fingers to his lips, and blew her a kiss.

It was quite possibly the sweetest thing Robin had ever seen any man do. And he’d done it for her.

Phillip showed up at the gym right on time on Wednesday morning. Libby pretended not to notice, but to her surprise he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her. Every time she glanced in his direction he was watching her. By the time she finished her workout, Libby’s mouth was dry and her heart was pounding. She knew this had nothing to do with her routine on the treadmill. Before Friday night she’d been desperate to make amends, if at all possible. But it hadn’t been as easy to eat crow as she’d imagined. She lacked both opportunity and courage.

Then after seeing him with Ms. Bimbo—that wasn’t fair; the other woman was stunning—Libby swallowed hard. His date had been lovely—in fact, she’d been perfect. Libby bet she wasn’t forced to work out in a gym five mornings a week in order to sweat off an extra ten pounds. Okay, she was being hard on herself; she was no more than three pounds heavier than she’d been when Hershel called her into his office.

Despite the fact that Phillip couldn’t take his eyes off her, he didn’t make an effort to talk to her. If this was his way of sending a message, then she was too much of a coward to act on it.

Then later that same morning, Phillip stopped off at the nursery. He had to know this was one of her days to volunteer.

He nonchalantly walked into the room, and picked up a chart as though he was there on official business. When he looked up, he pretended to be surprised to see Libby there.

She sat in the rocker, a sleeping infant in her arms, and met his gaze head-on, afraid her expression might give her away. Seeing him again gave her hope she could redeem herself and resuscitate their relationship.

“You really shouldn’t ever plan on being onstage,” she told him.

“Oh?”

“You’re a much better physician than you are an actor.”

“Really?”

It appeared the conversation on his end was limited to one-word replies.

“You knew I’d be here.”

“Did I?”

Okay, this was better. He was up to two words. “Yes.”

“Not necessarily.”

Okay, two could play this two-word reply game. “Why’s that?”

He set the chart down and stepped toward her, crossing his arms. “You seemed pretty upset about missing that job interview. From what I remember you blamed the babies.”

“No,” she corrected. “I blamed myself.” Libby hesitated and then rushed ahead, hoping to find the right words. “It shook me up pretty bad, blowing that interview. I was down on myself and I reacted impulsively. I … I do that sometimes, and then later I regret the things I say and do.” Her eyes widened with an appeal for understanding.

He held his ground for several moments before he spoke. “Regret, you say?”

Libby nodded. “Quite a bit of regret, if you must know.”

“I see.”

Undeterred, Libby plowed ahead. “I was wondering … hoping, really, if you’d forgive that outburst and pretend it never happened. The truth is, Phillip, I’ve missed you.”

He joined his hands behind his back, and then a slow, easy grin came into play. “Actually, I was hoping you’d come to your senses.”

Libby glanced down at the baby in her arms. “I don’t think you missed me nearly as much as I missed you.”

“Oh?”

Libby thought it was only fair to let him know she’d seen him with the Beauty Queen.

“I saw you on Friday,” she said. It was important that he know Libby had been out as well. She had social opportunities of her own and so she added, “I was out with … a
friend
myself.”

“Any particular friend?” he prodded, with slightly narrowed eyes.

She wasn’t about to go into details. They weren’t important. “A very good
friend
, if you must know.”

“Did you have a good time?” he asked.

“Very. You looked like you did, too.” Okay, that was a slight exaggeration.

“Looks can be deceiving.” He offered her a tentative smile. “The whole time I was wishing I was with you.”

“Were you really …?” Her heart went soft with emotion.

“There’s something to be said about … friendship. I missed you, too, Libby, more than I thought possible.”

“Oh, Phillip, I was such a fool. Forgive me, please.”

The smile faded from his eyes and his look grew serious. His gaze held her captive. “It was a good lesson for us both. What we share is special, Libby. We’ve both had time to step back and think this through.”

“I’m willing to give us a second chance if you are,” she burst out, hopeful and at the same time afraid.

He hesitated and then nodded.

Libby held her arm out to him. Phillip gripped her hand with his own. Bending over, he kissed her knuckles. “Okay, tell me who you were out with Friday night.”

“You first,” she insisted.

Phillip grinned. “A blind date. One of my poker buddies set me up.”

Libby looked away. “She was adorable.”

“Was she?” he asked, as if he hadn’t noticed. “You were with Robin?”

She nodded.

His grin grew wide. “Thought so. Why were you walking back to your condo alone?”

“You saw me?” Only now was he admitting that. She felt like she’d been sucker punched. Irritation flared but only briefly. Phillip was allowed that. He’d earned it.

“I saw you standing there on the other side of the street.”

Libby looked up at him and rolled her eyes. “I bet you were on top of the world to see me mooning over you.”

“You were mooning?”

“Big-time.”

“Good, that was what I hoped.”

Sharon entered the nursery just then, and when she saw Phillip, the nurse’s gaze instantly connected with Libby’s. She raised both brows and her lips quivered with a vain attempt to suppress a smile. It looked as if she was about to comment when Phillip spoke. “I’m helping to organize the hospital’s fund-raising dinner next week. Are you interested?”

Posters for the dinner were displayed all over the hospital. The tickets were $200 each, which was more than Libby could manage. But if Phillip was asking her, well, that was a different story.

“I could be,” she said, playing it cool.

“I’ve got space at my table and an extra ticket if you’d care to join me.”

“I’d love to.”

His gaze held and warmed hers.

“Is there any chance we could go out on your sailboat later this afternoon?” Libby asked, remembering that the first time he’d kissed her had been while they were on the water together.

“That can be arranged,” he assured her.

“If you two are looking for privacy there’s a cleaning closet down the hall,” Sharon piped up from across the room.

Phillip jiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Libby laughed. It felt good to laugh and she was excited that Phillip had been willing to accept her apology.

Libby walked on air for the rest of her shift. After she’d finished she met Abby Higginbotham for coffee. “You should attend the fund-raising dinner,” she advised Libby. “You’re looking for clients and I could introduce you to a couple of wealthy prospects.”

“Phillip invited me to sit at his table, and you’re right, it might be a good chance to network.” She should be thinking about Mrs. Reed. The older woman didn’t like to be rushed when it came to making a decision, even a small one. Libby could be patient. But it wasn’t the possibility of getting the older woman as a client that filled Libby’s mind. Instead all she could think about was Phillip. She hadn’t wanted to admit how much being with him meant to her. Now that they’d made up, Libby’s head swam with possibilities, hope, and a mixture of joy and happy anticipation.