Starting Fires (19 page)

Closing my eyes, I shook my head. “It’s not that.” Without having to look in a mirror, I knew my face looked pathetic, all scrunched up and blotchy. To hide it, I buried it in his chest again.

“Do you want to tell me?”

“My mom,” I croaked. “My mom used to…” the words were lost as my breath hitched.

“That’s alright. I get it.” His fingers were playing with my hair and his other hand was softly rubbing my back as I wept into his shirt. “You don’t have to tell me anymore.”

My tears finally slowed, and I hugged him tightly. Gradually, I pulled away from him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose it like that.”

“No need to apologize,” he said wiping away tears that lingered on my cheeks. “Take all the time you need. Nobody knew you were crying but me. I’ll tell them you aren’t feeling well. Okay?” He cradled my face and I nodded.

Gently, he pressed his lips to mine. When he ended it and started to move away, I gripped his shirt, bringing my mouth back to his.

This time he didn’t pull away until I did.

 

Chapter 17

E
veryone acted as
if nothing had happened when I returned. We ate a small lunch and watched movies for the rest of the day. Most of my time was spent with Mia or his mother, while his was with his father. At around 4 p.m., he saw me sitting alone on the couch and eased down next to me. Even though there was plenty of room, he settled in close, so when his mother walked in and said, “The Wilsons will be here in about an hour,” it was hard to ignore the tightening of his body.

He jerked his head in her direction. “The Wilsons are coming?”

“Yeah, should be here around 5. Just in time for dinner.”

For a moment, he didn’t do anything but stare at her, but then he abruptly stood. “I need to talk to you,” he said, motioning her into a room.

I fiddled with my new ring while they were gone, wondering what they were talking about. Finally, his mother came out, looking at me with something like sympathy. My brow curled in confusion. Lucas emerged next and rubbed his hand through his hair. Without looking at me, he walked over to the couch and sat with a huff.

“Candace is a Wilson,” he told me.

My stomach dropped, a sick feeling rising up my neck, but I tried not to let it show. When he didn’t speak and I didn’t speak, and the stretch of tension became too much for me, I said, “Should I leave?”

“Do you want to?”

“Do you want me to?”

He looked at me, his lip working between his teeth. “No,” he finally said.

“Then I’ll stay. I just… won’t say anything to her.”

For the first time that day, he touched me in clear view of everyone. It was only a squeeze of my hand, and over before anybody could have seen it, but I appreciated it.

Over the next hour, I felt my heart rate increase with every minute that ticked by. Did she know I was here? Was she going to make a scene? What did his family think of her? Did they want them to be together and look at me as hitch in that plan? I didn’t know. They seemed happy that I was here with him, but they’d been friends with her family a long time, so it was possible.

A large SUV pulled into the drive, and Mia came up beside me. “Put on a big smile and don’t let her get to you. Trust me, she’ll try.”

Helen and William went out to greet them. Through the window in the living room, I saw Candace’s blonde locks come out of the back of the car. She smiled when she saw them and gave them tight hugs. Lucas was standing on the other side of the living room, putting distance between us, and I wondered if it was intentional. Was he trying to tell Candace ‘
See we aren’t together. I’m over here and she’s way over there’
?

Candace made her entrance with a big boisterous, “Hello Burns’!” but her smile immediately fell when she saw me. “What the fu-”

“Candace!” Mia yelled with enthusiasm. “It’s so good to see you.” She walked up to her and gave her a squeeze. “I want to show you some of my new clothes.” Mia began leading her out of the room, but Candace’s death glare never left me. I’m surprised she didn’t bring a finger to her neck and slice it across the length. Her parents also looked surprised by my presence.

“You must be one of Mia’s friends,” Candace’s mother said to me. Of course. How could I possibly be here with Lucas? But since he didn’t correct her, neither did I. “I’m Linda. This is my husband Scott.”

“Marlowe,” I smiled and shook her hand. They didn’t speak more to me and walked over to Lucas. To distract myself, I went into the kitchen to see if Helen needed help. Everything was finished cooking, but she had me add serving spoons to the various dishes. Just as I was done, she announced to the house that dinner was ready. Everyone gradually piled into the kitchen, forming a line for the food. I went to the back and swallowed the lump in my throat. Lucas noticed and came to stand behind me. Candace saw him move and narrowed her eyes, but thankfully didn’t say anything.

I put a little of everything on my plate and was ready to be done with this. The day had been awesome, but this was ruining it. Since we were the last ones in the line, we were also the last to take a seat at the table. Two were open. Between Candace and Lucas’ dad.

Lucas headed for table first and hesitated. Either he put me by his dad, but then he would be sitting by her. Or I sat by her. While he tried to decide, I made the decision for him and took the seat next to good ole Bill. He smiled kindly when I put my plate down, and Candace practically gleamed as Lucas sat next to her. With discretion, he scooted his chair closer to me, and I smiled to myself.

Everyone was busy talking, filling each other in on their lives. No questions were ever directed towards me, so I ate in silence as I listened to them share.

Lucas ran out of mashed potatoes and he playfully forked some off my plate. In retaliation, I took some of his yams, making a show of devouring them. He smirked, making an amused sound behind his closed lips.

As we were still smiling at each other, Candace’s mom cleared her throat and wiped her napkin along her mouth. “Marla, how do you know the Burns’?” she asked with a practiced geniality.

Already, I was annoyed that she didn’t get my name right, but tried my best to answer her kindly. “I’m friends with some of Lucas’ bandmates. We met that way.”

Linda tilted her head to the side in confusion. “Oh. I thought you were one of Mia’s college friends.”

“No,” I shook my head. “We don’t go to the same University.”

“I wish you did,” Mia huffed. “Maybe I’d have someone to hang out with on the weekends.” As I played with the rest of my food, I smiled at her. Something told me Mia was a wild one, and hanging out with her would be nothing but entertaining.

“So you’re working towards your degree, though?” Linda continued. “When do you graduate?”

“Next spring.”

“Took you long enough,” Candace muttered. “What are you, like 30?”

Trying my best to do as Mia advised, I smiled in her direction. “26.”

“Well, it’s never too late,” William said. “You should be proud. Most don’t even have a college degree. Me included. Lucas was the first in my family.”

“What
has
taken you so long?” Candace added. “I mean it’s not like you’re going to be a doctor or anything. Did you flunk out?”

“Who wants pie?” his mother asked, standing up from the table with a smile. All of the Burns’ made a show of really wanting it, so I joined in. Like the perfect, too good to be true, mother she was, she walked around the table, serving us each our own slice, and even though I was full, I ate every bite.

After dinner, Candace pulled Lucas off to the side. They were talking in hushed voices and I could tell that she was really laying into him. She caught me staring and loudly said, “Lucas, can you come help me with something outside?” He sighed but followed her out the door.

I wondered if this was going to be the breaking point for us. The moment that Kate seemed to think was inevitable. If it was, I hoped he’d have the decency to not do it in front of his family.

“Marlowe, honey, can you lend me a hand?” his mother asked.

I walked into the kitchen and stood next to her. She was washing dishes in the sink even though they had a dishwasher. Kicking it lightly with my toe, I asked, “Broken?”

“No,” she smiled. “There’s something peaceful about washing dishes. I’ve always preferred to do it this way.” I disagreed, but would never tell her that.

From the kitchen window, I could see Lucas and Candace out in the yard. His hands were linked behind his head, and hers were moving wildly while she talked to him. It was hard to concentrate on my task when every couple of seconds I found myself peeking at them.

“Don’t you worry, darling,” his mother said softly.

“I’m – I’m not worried,” I replied, trying to focus on drying a dish.

“Well, that’s good.”

After a while, I noticed we were both looking out the window. Candace was touching his stomach, but Lucas wasn’t reciprocating. His hands were still firmly behind his head, but I had no idea what they were saying to each other. It could be anything.

“He doesn’t look at her the way he looks at you,” Helen told me. “And he never did.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, and she must have known because immediately she started talking to me about a TV show that she’d recently started watching. William had introduced her to it, and she was surprised with all the killing and blood that she was still able to enjoy it.

It distracted me so well, that I didn’t even realize Lucas had come inside. Suddenly, he was standing beside me. “Dad’s about to start the bonfire,” he told his mom. “He wants to know if everything’s ready.”

“It should all be over on the counter.”

I looked in the direction she’d nodded and saw all the fixings for s’mores. “Another Burns tradition?” I asked with a smile.

“Since Lucas was seven.”

I heard him shuffling his feet, and looked to him. “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked and my stomach squirmed.

“I can finish these up,” Helen said.

As I followed Lucas through the house, I realized that I was staring at my feet the whole time, like an insecure teenager. Was this it? I tried not to admit how that made me feel. The only thing I allowed myself to think was
I’m not ready for this to be over.

We reached a door, but Lucas’ dad called to him from the living room. “Need your help with the fire, son.”

“Give me a minute,” he yelled down the hall.

“Okay, but you’re holding everybody up,” William said with annoyance.

Lucas sighed. “Wait in here. I’ll be back in a bit.”

As I went through the door, I realized that this was Lucas’ old bedroom. It had to be. A guitar was in a corner. Pictures of trees lined the walls. It had the same feel as the one in his current home, only cleaner.

To distract myself, I started looking around. On top of his dresser was a picture of him and an old woman. She had an oxygen tank hooked up to her nose, and I guessed that it was his grandmother. The one who called him her
little sparrow
. It was clear from his smile that she had meant a great deal to him.

The door opened, and I expected to see Lucas coming in. But it was Candace. With a smile, she sighed as she took in the room. “I haven’t been in here in ages,” she said. “Gosh, there are so many memories.” Confidently, she walked to the bed and sprawled on it seductively. “Especially here.” Propping up on her elbow, she looked into my eyes. “Not as many memories as his bed at home, but then again we have
so many
there, it would be hard to compete.”

Was she serious?

Her evil grin told me that it was obvious her statement had gotten under my skin. “I don’t care, Candace,” I said sharply.

“Sure…” she drew out. “I bet you don’t.”

Just then Helen joined us—which was probably a good thing, I could feel my anger rising. “There you are,” she smiled at Candace. “We’re all about to go outside for the s’mores.”

With a big, put on grin she rose from the bed. “Yay! This is why I love Christmas with the Burns’. They always make it so much fun! Oh, I adore you, Helen!” The hug she gave her was so fake and over the top, I wanted to gag.

Helen held onto her arm as she started leading her out of the room, I went to follow but then Helen turned to me and said, “If you still aren’t feeling well, feel free to stay in here, darling. We’ll be out there for a while. No one will bother you.”

“Yeah,” Candace said. “You should stay. This is more of a family tradition anyway.” She gave me a cheeky smile and shrugged her head into her shoulder. Helen’s lip went tight.

Not wanting to make the situation worse I said, “I’ll just wait in here for Lucas.”

They closed the door and I stood in the middle of his room, the sound of my breathing the only noise. My chest started constricting with every minute that I was alone.

The door finally opened, but I didn’t turn to see who it was. If he was going to do this, I couldn’t look into his eyes.

He came up behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist. “I’m sorry,” he said, and stepped away from me. “You don’t have to tell me you’re uncomfortable. If I am, I know you are. I had no idea she’d be here. If I had, I would have told you.” He sat on his old bed, his eyes looking down. “We can leave anytime you like. Just say the word, and I’ll take you away from her.”

This didn’t feel like he was ending it. At all. It felt like he was trying to protect me from her cattiness. “What did she say to you?” I asked.

“The same shit. Don’t worry yourself with it,” he said kindly. “I got tired of listening to her and came inside.” He was still sitting on his bed. The same bed the two of them had made memories on. Suddenly, the need to rid him of any thought of her became unbearable.

Very slowly, I turned the lock on his door. The sound made him look up. I started unbuttoning my shirt as I walked towards him. Anxiously watching me, he took a deep breath and rubbed his hands down his thighs. On the last button, I was standing in front of him. My hands went to my jeans, and I slowly undid them.

Apart from my crying episode in the bathroom, we’d barely touched each other all day, and right now, I wanted to feel him everywhere. The house was empty for the time being, so it was my chance. As I stepped out of my pants, his hands went to my waist as he trailed soft kisses along my skin.

He pulled my panties down my legs, moving his mouth down my stomach. On a shaky sigh, I brought my hand to his hair, running my fingers through it. Slowly, he trailed a finger up my thigh and to my opening, sliding it across before gradually pushing it into me.

I barely had time to moan before he took my leg and hiked it over his shoulder. His mouth joined his finger, and, to steady myself, I held onto his head and shoulder as his tongue came out to lick me. His kisses were languid, making me gasp. When I rolled into him, his moan made my body heat.

As he added another finger, my hips started moving, and I closed my eyes. I loved the feeling of his other hand raking down my hiked leg. How he squeezed each time he reached my ass. His fingers pushing in and out of me. The heat and pressure from his tongue.