Star League 3 (3 page)

‘How much damage can Nefertina do with your recipe book?' asks Jay.

I stare out the window of the studio car we're taking to the museum. ‘Depends on what she's using it for. There's a recipe in there for bringing things back to life in the form of zombies, but there's one for a good cough syrup too.'

‘Did she have a cough?' asks Leigh.

‘Uh, no.'

‘Then I think it's a pretty good bet she's going to use it for that whole raising the dead thing,' says Asuka.

The car pulls to a stop. ‘My global positioning system indicates that we have arrived at our destination,' says Sam.

I roll my eyes. ‘So does that sign over there that says “Museum”.'

We get out of the car and head towards the front door. As we're about to go inside, the doors burst open and a terrifying figure covered from head to toe in bandages lurches out.

‘Mmmmuuuurrrrgggh!' moans the mummy. I scream, then glance around sheepishly when I realise nobody else looks scared.

‘What are you worried about?' asks Connor. ‘A mummy is practically a zombie with bandages!'

‘I wasn't screaming, it was a … a battle cry! This guy's dead meat!'

As I run towards the mummy I reach into my satchel and pull out a potion. Glancing at the label I see it's a bright pink Stink Concoction. I throw the potion at him and the glass vial shatters, releasing a terrible smell.

‘Awww, gross, man!' says the mummy, who suddenly sounds a lot different to the moaning
monster he was a moment ago. ‘What's the deal? I'm just trying to eat my lunch out here!' He holds up a brown paper bag.

‘Oh yeah? And what's on the menu, brains?'

‘Actually, Roger, my databases indicate that it is zombies who eat brains, not mummies,' says Sam.

‘Well, I'm on a brains-free diet, and I'm not going to stand around and let this guy chow down on the organs of innocent bystanders!' I snatch his brown paper bag out of his hands and open it up. Inside is some kind of disgusting red mush. ‘Just as I suspected, brains!'

‘What are you talking about?' asks the mummy. ‘That's lentil pudding in there!'

‘Who's going to believe that a mummy eats lentils?' I pull out a bottle of Paralysis Potion and take aim. ‘Time to say goodnight, you mummy menace!'

‘Wait, wait!' He covers his face with his hands. ‘You don't actually think I'm a real mummy, do
you? I'm just an employee here! They pay me to wear this costume and walk around.'

I lower the potion and look at him. Come to think of it, the bandages do look a little new to be thousands of years old. And I'm pretty sure I can see a price tag sticking out the back. I look at the others and they shrug.

‘Can I have my lunch now?'

I hand him back his bag and Jay steps forward. ‘If you're not really a mummy, why were you making all those moaning sounds?' Jay asks.

‘Are you kidding? You try walking around all day with people tugging on your bandages, then tell me how your back feels! This job is killing me! And having weird kids steal your lunch doesn't make it any easier.' He peers at me closely. ‘Hey, what's wrong with you anyway? Your skin's all green. And I think your ear just fell off!'

‘Uh, happy Halloween!' I say, reaching down to pick up my ear. ‘Trick or treat!'

‘But it's June,' says the mummy.

The Loosifying Juice is wearing off more quickly than I thought it would. Parts of me are already starting to freeze up and crumble off. I pop another piece of Braynes Gum in my mouth and notice I only have two pieces left.

‘Hey guys, if I don't get that book back soon I'm going to run out of Loosifying Juice. And if that happens, I'll go permanently Humpty!'

‘Humpty?' asks Leigh in confusion.

‘As in I'll go to pieces and nobody will be able to put me back together again!'

We race into the museum, leaving the mummy to eat his lentil pudding in peace.

We race into the museum, leaving the mummy to eat his lentil pudding in peeace.

After paying for our tickets we follow the signs to the Egyptian exhibition. We enter a large circular room decked out in all sorts of Egyptian artefacts, so I think we're probably in the right place. Either that or we've walked into a travel agency with a special on Egypt.

‘It's pretty quiet down here,' says Connor.

‘Maybe a bit too quiet,' whispers Asuka. ‘Isn't this supposed to be their main attraction?'

‘Yeah, this place should be packed,' says Leigh, and Chu chirps in agreement. ‘So where is everybody?'

‘Uh, I think we just got our answer,' says Jay, looking over my shoulder.

I turn to look but all I can see are six statues
standing between us and the entrance. Funny, I definitely didn't notice them when I walked in. It's like they've appeared out of nowhere. They have human bodies but weird, dog-like heads and they're wearing snake-shaped crowns.

‘What, these guys?' I walk over to one and read the little plaque at its base. ‘Says here they're called Anubites. The only thing that bites is the craftsmanship! They're not even painted that well. They look pretty fake to me …'

Then the statue growls, and I jump out of the way so fast I almost fall apart. They're alive! The dog-headed statues surround us, growling and snapping at the air, their sharp white teeth glistening with saliva.

‘Quick! Everybody on your guard,' says Jay. ‘There are six of them and six of us. Pick one and stay on it!'

I reach into my satchel and pull out a potion. I don't even look at the vial before throwing it, and
as I see it leave my hand I realise it's Zombification Potion.

The vial sails over the head of the statue I threw it at and smashes into a display of stuffed birds. The birds slowly start to ruffle their feathers as they come back to life.

‘Thanks, Roger, great thinking!' shouts Leigh.

‘Uh, sure,' I say. ‘That was my plan all along. Yep!'

She closes her eyes and uses her animancer powers on the birds. They fly up into the air and dive towards the statue closest to Leigh. The flock peck furiously at the Anubite's head, squawking and scratching at it with their claws.

I look around and the others are fast at work demolishing their own Anubites. Jay unleashes a barrage of punches on his, and backs it into a corner. Asuka is busy ducking her statue's attacks, leading it around in a circle and confusing it. Connor has transformed into a werewolf and
is locking arms with his Anubite, both of them snarling ferociously. Sam calmly leads his statue on a chase until it's right where he wants it, then he places his hand on a security panel. One of the display cases slides open and the statue stumbles into it, trapped. It pounds on the unbreakable glass, trying to get out.

I'm so busy standing around gawking that I don't notice my own statue creeping up on me until it's too late. Out of the corner of my eye I see a blur, and then a fist flies towards my face.

I raise my potion satchel to protect myself and the statue's rock-hard fist smashes into it. My hand pops off its wrist and flies across the room. I can't do anything except watch as my left hand and my satchel full of potions spins through the air and lands with a thud in an ancient Egyptian burial urn. I try to call it back but the bag of potions is heavy and I don't think my hand will make it back before I'm mincemeat.

Uh-oh. How am I going to fight this guy now? I look around for help but everyone's still busy with their own statues. Mine stalks towards me with an angry look in his eye, and I make a fist with my remaining right hand.

‘You wouldn't hit a one-handed kid, would you?' I ask.

I'm ready to say goodbye to it all at the hands of an ancient dog-headed statue when I get an idea. I reach in to my pocket and pop a piece of Braynes Gum in my mouth.

‘You know, I find it hard to keep my head under pressure,' I say, chewing quickly. The Anubite stares at me and keeps coming. Before he can pound me into zombie soup, I pop my head off my shoulders and throw it across the room. Everything spins in such a whirl that I feel like I'm going to puke. I close my eyes and cross my fingers (which are on the other side of the room) hoping that this plan works.

Once I feel my head come to a stop I open my eyes. The Anubite has left my body alone to chase
my head. Its doggy instincts must have kicked in – I knew a dog could never resist chasing a ball!

Part one of my plan is complete, now I've just got to hope the rest of it goes smoothly. I quickly pop off my right hand, which leaves me with two stumps. Guess I won't make much of a handyman in this state!

The Anubite gets tired of playing chasey and growls down at me. I can feel its hot breath on my face, and strings of saliva drip from its jaws. Gross! If I don't act quickly I'm going to be dog food!

Then something drops onto the back of the Anubite's neck. It yelps in surprise and spins around trying to dislodge it. I catch a glimpse of the thing on the back of its neck – my right hand!

‘Who needs a right-hand-man when you've got a right hand?' I ask with a grin. The Anubite is so busy spinning around he doesn't notice that my feet have also come to join the party. The statue trips over them and lands with a crash on the floor.

‘Looks like you've really fallen head over heels for me!' Sometimes I crack myself up, which is what this statue is starting to do! Little pieces of stone begin to crumble off it as my feet give it the kicking of its life. But what are two feet against a dog-headed statue brought to life? It growls and throws them off, then gets to its feet.

That's when my left hand shows up carrying my satchel of potions. ‘Finally! Do you know what time it is? Oh, you're not wearing a watch.' I concentrate on directing my disembodied hand to dig around in the satchel, looking for the right potion. It pulls out a dark green potion and throws it.

The glass vial smashes at the statue's feet. There's a loud rumbling, then a tangle of vines bursts through the floor of the museum and ensnares the Anubite. The vines hold it tight, squeezing it until the statue cracks loudly. Parts of the Anubite start to crumble off onto the ground – small bits at first, followed by larger chunks.
Then the whole thing collapses into a heap of rubble and all that's left is the snake-shaped crown it was wearing and a pile of pebbles.

As I pull my body parts back together I look around and see that the others have finished with their statues too. Five other piles of rubble with snake-shaped crowns lie around the room, which is a total mess.

‘Uh, we might want to get out of here before somebody comes along and makes us clean this up,' I say. ‘I'd rather face a hundred Anubites than a mop and bucket. I signed up to fight crime, not grime!'

‘Roger's finally making sense,' says Connor, ‘but where to next? These guys came out of nowhere. It's almost like there's a secret passageway in here or something.'

A light switches on in my brain as I remember something from when my hand fell in the burial urn. I walk over to it and reach in, feeling around.
I press a button hidden inside and a secret doorway slides open.

‘You mean something like this?' I ask with a grin.