Stanton Adore (22 page)

“Suck,” he yells. I start to deep throat his large engorged cock. I feel so out of control, so unlike me, but I’ve never felt so alive. He pulls back and rides my open mouth as he grips me by the hair.

“Tash you fuck me so good,” he whispers. “I’m going to blow so hard baby.” On the sixth stroke he stills and jerks as he comes in a rush, flooding my mouth with his seed. It hits the back of my throat with such force that my gag reflex kicks in and I automatically retch.

“Swallow,” he whispers as he pants while throwing his head back, he gently rubs the back of my head. I nod as I swallow and follow the clean-up with gentle laps. He is gasping for air as he holds my shoulders for balance. Perspiration covers our bodies. My eyes meet his as I rise from my kneeling position and he smiles and falls back onto the bed with his eyes closed pulling me with him. He kisses my forehead and pulls me into an embrace.

“I fucking adore you,” he smiles.

I smile as I sink into his embrace. “Josh.”

“Mmm baby,” he answers with his eyes closed.

“You can add porn star to my resume. That was porn star sex.”

“Hmmm,” he smiles with his eyes closed. “That was hot sex and it had my favourite ending.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“The happy ending.”

“Doesn’t all sex have a happy ending?”

He shakes his head. “Some endings are happier than others.”

I giggle as I cuddle into him. “Josh I need a drink and a shower.”

He kisses me on the forehead. “I’ll get the drinks, you run the shower.” I nod as I lean up onto my elbow.

“Leave the soap on the floor,” he smirks.

Chapter 18

I roll over
and hit a brick wall, my eyes shoot open at the unexpected lump in my bed. To my utter disbelief, I am lying next to a naked sleeping hunk of a man. I smile as the realization that Joshua stayed sinks in. He’s out cold on his back with his arm under my head. My body is draped half over his, our legs entwined. I’m amazed when I stop and look at him at how utterly gorgeous he is. His dark chocolate hair, dark lashes and olive skin are a stark contrast against my white bed linen. His swollen red lips gently open and close as he breathes. I know I have said it before but I am totally punching above my weight here. He is just so……… out of my league. My eyes drop to his tanned rippled torso. My name firmly branding his body, goose bumps scatter me every time I look at that tattoo. It means so much to me. The fact that he got that at a time when our love was so distant. And yet he still committed, unknowing that we had any kind of future together. I will forever be grateful that our limited time together previously meant as much to him as it did me. For the first time in seven years I am proud that I didn’t give into desire and kept myself only for him. I haven’t told him that fact yet, I’m not sure if I ever will. At first I kept the secret so that he wouldn’t be worried about hurting me when we had sex. I didn’t want to be lacking or for him to have a preconceived idea that I was inexperienced in bed. But after last night I’m pretty sure he’s not being gentle anymore, actually I’m sure of it. The man’s a deviant and the thought brings a satisfied smile to my face. Our relationship is complicated. My darkest fear is that we are not going to make it. But I owe it to myself to try, I could never move on knowing I didn’t give it my best shot. I just wish we didn’t have so many things against us, it’s exhausting. I want to be with him when he wakes but nature is screaming at me and I need to go to the bathroom. I gently rise from bed and his arm feels around the bed for my body warmth. I smile as I rise from the bed and gingerly tip toe to the bathroom. After the quickest wee in history I brush my teeth and sprint back to bed. He is still out cold. I lie and watch him for nearly an hour, my mind deep in thought. I don’t want him to fight with his Mother over me, that’s the last thing I want. She’s trying to protect him and in all honesty, if my son was embarking on a relationship like ours, that’s so passionate and volatile I don’t know how I would react either. It’s obvious she thinks I am going to hurt him again. I wonder if he told her I never played up on him all those years ago. I doubt she would have given him the chance to elaborate. What about Brock? I wince as I remember that he is onto us. I wonder what happened between him and Joshua outside last night, did they fight? Surely the bodyguards would have stopped it, wouldn’t they? That’s right, what’s with the bodyguard claiming to be mine? Seriously that’s just way to much NCIS action, who in the hell would want to hurt me? Joshua has been watching too many movies. My eyes go back to the Adonis in my bed and I smile as I watch him. Am I the only woman deeply in love with him? Is Amelie in love with him? Is he in love with her? He told me last night that he is completely mine.
Please let that be true
. He hasn’t told me how he feels about me, apart from the adore thing but then adore isn’t love. We only have three more weeks together and we need to decide our future. I just wish we had more time to work this mess out. He gently starts to wake and I can’t help but smile, it’s like Christmas morning. He opens one eye and smiles a sleepy smile at me and pulls me into an embrace and kisses my forehead.

“Good morning beautiful,” he whispers in a husky voice.

“Morning,” I lean in and kiss him softly on the lips. He smiles and keeps his eyes closed. I lie waiting for him to wake up but he’s still half asleep.

“Why are you so tired baby?” I whisper.

“Hmm,” he smiles still half asleep, he absentmindedly starts to run his fingers through my hair. He smiles and kisses my forehead once more, still with his eyes closed.

“Why are you so tired?” I ask again.

He smiles and huskily whispers. “This hot raving bitch I know keeps fighting with me about everything and I can’t sleep. I’ve hardly slept since Saturday.”

I smile a sad smile. “Joshua. Why didn’t you just come over here?”

“Because I’m not putting up with you shit, that’s why.” He smiles, his eyes still closed.

My heart skips a beat. Am I torturing this poor guy with my dramatics? “Do you want coffee? I ask.

He nods again with his eyes closed. “Yes please.”

Fifteen minutes later I am seated at my breakfast bar when he saunters out in the hottest black underpants known to man and takes his coffee from the bench as he sits on the breakfast stool. I take a sip unsure how to broach this subject and totally distracted by his beauty. Underpants is a definite unfair advantage. I am painfully aware how easy our conversations turn into full blown arguments.

“Does your mother know where you are?” He puts his head down and nods. “Josh I don’t want you fighting with her over me.”

“Well I am. So, too late.”

“Did you tell her?” he nods and I wince.

“How did she take it?” He shrugs obviously not wanting to continue this conversation.

“Is Brock ok?”

He smiles and nods. “Yes but he is seriously pissing me off.”

“Me too,” I shrug. Silence falls and we both sip our coffee. I have never felt so unsure of what to say in my life. I’m walking on eggshells. This conversation is awkward, I feel like I’m interviewing an errant teenager. He sits down next to me but stays silent. I am not bringing up last night until he does, he bloody better bring up last night or he will be seeing that raving bitch again, sooner than he would like.

“What are you doing today?” he smiles.

“My office is closed for renovation. I have the rest of the week off.”

“You”

“I’m training interns all week.”

“Oh, what do you teach them?”

“Fun stuff you wouldn’t understand,” he smiles into his coffee cup.

I smile “I know what you’re doing,” I whisper.

He raises his eyebrows. “Really, what am I doing?”

“You’re being evasive. Making me talk first,” he smiles and bites his bottom lip. I am so onto him. “Got something you want to say Presh?” He raises his eyebrows and smiles. I roll my eyes at him, “What?” he smiles.

“You don’t think we should talk about last night,” I sigh.

“I said everything I needed to last night, I want you. You want me. Case closed.”

I frown at him “Josh please if we are to have a future.”

He cuts me off. “Have you changed your mind?” I frown. “Don’t you want this anymore?” he snaps.

“Of course I do, you know that I do. I need some truths from you first,” I breathe. He goes to speak but I hold up my hand in a stop signal gesturing for him to give me silence. “Please understand I can forgive anything and understand everything as long as I am told the complete truth. Honesty is imperative to me Josh. It’s a deal breaker.”

He nods and I can see him sum up the weight of my words. He narrows his eyes at me. “Can I have a truth of my own?” I nod. “Were you serious when you said you would move to America with me?” He licks his bottom lip in anticipation for my answer.

I smile. “Yes, but couldn’t we live six months in Australia and six months in LA?”

He shakes his head. “No it won’t work, I’ve already thought of that.”

I frown. “Why not.”

“Because of my horses, the quarantine laws getting back into Australia are too stringent. I wouldn’t be able to do it. It’s either here or there, not both.”

I nod. Those horses are going to be the death of me. Everything about those fuckers and their Vet spell unparalleled trouble. “Would you move to Australia for me?”

He smiles. “Yes, but I’m contracted in America for at least the next five years, so it would be impossible for me to move at this point.”

“But after that, would it be up for negotiation?”

He puckers his lips and raises his eyebrows as he thinks. “Perhaps.”

“Josh I need to be sure we are going to work, before I would leave my job and move to the other side of the world.”

“And how will you be sure? I don’t have a crystal ball Natasha. I can’t promise you anything other than the fact I will look after you and try my hardest to make you happy.” His wide eyes search mine.

I melt into his gaze. “That’s enough Josh, that’s all any girl could ask for.”

He smiles and pulls me into an embrace where I am rewarded with a gentle sweep of his tongue through my lips. This man is just………… beautiful. Everything about him melts my heart.

I pull back to look at his face. “Can you promise me monogamy Josh?”

He smiles warmly. “Of course, what man wouldn’t be loyal to you? I’d have to be a fucking idiot to stuff this up now”. This conversation is going better than I expected.

“Can I have my truths now?” I ask. He frowns and releases me from his cuddle. He walks around behind the bench and places both of his hands wide on the bench and I know he’s feeling vulnerable. It’s a defensive tactic having something between us. “Do you have feelings for that blonde from the club?”

He smiles and shakes his head in relief. “Definitely not.”

I nod, “How do you know her?” He swallows and looks down while he thinks. “Josh please honesty remember.”

“Here’s the thing Tash, if I tell you how I met her, I face you getting the shits. If I don’t tell you, I know you are definitely going to get the shits. So basically it’s a no win situation. Promise me if I tell you, you are not going to kick me out.” I fake a smile. Shit, do I really want to know this.

I nod as my heart rate picks up speed. “Fire away.”

“The day I arrived in Sydney my friend Carson sent me around a house warming present to the house.”

I frown. “Who’s Carson?”

“My friend from LA.”

I nod and frown again. “So how do you know her?” He blows out a breath obviously hoping I will fit the puzzle together.

I frown again. “Am I missing something?” I ask.

He frowns and rubs his two hands through his hair. “She was the house warming present.” Horror dawns. Oh fuck this is worse than I thought. You could knock me over with a feather. I sit back on my chair as I process what he has told me.

“She’s a prostitute,” I gasp. He hangs his head and nods.

“I see,” my eyes must be the size of saucers. He comes around behind me and cuddles me, he’s right. I really want to kick his sorry ass out right now…………
deep breaths
…………
deep breathes
. Why did I promise to not get the shits when I so clearly have a reason to?

“So you can see I have no feelings for her and you don’t need to worry baby,” he’s talking way to fast…………
deep breaths.

“How often do you see prostitutes Joshua?”

He winces and goes silent. “Don’t call me that,” he whispers.

“It’s your name isn’t it?” I snap.

“Yes, but you only call me that when you are shitty if you haven’t noticed.” Hmm I hadn’t noticed actually.

“Josh I told you I won’t get the shits but I need to know what I’m up against here.”

“You’re not up against anything, you know I only care about you. Please don’t make any more of this than it is.”

I look at him dead pan. “Answer the question.”

“I don’t like to date Tash and you know I have a………… high sex drive.” He swallows and is tripping over his words. “It’s not something I can control, the sex drive thing.”

“Why don’t you like to date?”

“You know why.”

“No I don’t.” My voice drips with sarcasm. “Please elaborate.”

He starts to run both hands through his hair. I know he is feeling out of control of this situation.

“Women I date always get………attached and well……… My heart is already taken………… by you,” he reaches for me and I pull my arm away instinctively. I am not supposed to be getting emotional here………
deep breaths……deep breaths
.

I put my head into my hands. “How often.”

“Tash please baby, it doesn’t matter it is in the past.”

“Joshua! So help me. Answer the god damn question or I am going to be wearing your balls for earrings.”

He stifles a smile and raises his eyebrows. “Really. Earrings?”

I do wide eyes at him. “Really. Don’t push it, I’m great with a butter knife.” I pull out the draw, “and I have a few handy here you know.” He smiles again. “Please Josh just tell me, I thought we discussed honesty, I need the truth.”

He looks down and ticks his jaw. “At least once a week”…………
FUCK…
……… ” I was hoping for once a year.

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “We haven’t been wearing condoms, am I going to get an STD?”

He looks mortified. “I’m always safe. You’re the only person I would ever go bare back with. How could you think such a thing?” I frown, is this the frigging twilight zone? He tells me he has sex with prostitutes all the time but I’m out of line for asking about STD’s.

“So you have never had sex without a condom with anyone else?”

He shakes his head. “No and I don’t want to. Only you who I can’t stand to be separated from.” He pulls me into his arms and goes in for a kiss but I keep my lips tightly sealed shut.

He pulls back. “You’re mad.”

“No,” I lie.

“Yes you are, I can tell.”

“I’m disappointed Joshua.”

“Stop frigging calling me that, call me baby,” he whispers. I smile…………why does he have to be so damn cute. “Isn’t that a song?” he smiles and blows out a breath.

“So you see my Precious girl you have nothing to worry about, I will never see any of them again. They were all high class prostitutes though.”

I frown. “Excuse me idiot. There is no such thing as a high class prostitute.” He nods quickly realizing he has said the wrong thing. “Josh how in the hell am I supposed to keep you sexually satisfied when you are used to………… you know………such variety?”

He tenderly cups my face and gives me a gentle loving kiss. “Tash you are all I see………… all I want, you mean everything to me and I have missed you desperately for seven long years. In fact I think I have fallen for you harder all over again. I fucking adore you. Give me a chance to prove myself. I am not going to fuck it up. I promise.” I smile a weak smile. Ok, I can live with that………for now. I reach up and run my fingers through his stubble.