Stained (25 page)

Officer Ridley blinks, his mouth opening so wide I can see his fillings. “You are a remarkable girl.”

I smile a wobbly smile, then charge down the stairs, Nick close behind. My parents are lying on the kitchen floor, bound and gagged, but their eyes are open, following my every move.

“It's okay, the officer got him,” I say as I reach for Dad and start working at the knots on his gag. Nick is already untying Mom.

“Are you all right?” Dad asks as soon as I get his mouth free.

“I'm okay. Just hold still.”

“But your neck!”

“It's nothing. They're like paper cuts. Nick's is probably worse.”

“Is he all right?”

“We both are.”

“I'm so sorry, honey. Brian knocked me out from behind, or I would have—”

“It's all right, Dad,” I say.

I'm working on his wrists now. The knots are tight, but the rope is stiff and new, and that makes it easier to untie. I free his wrists, and Dad flexes his hands while I work on his ankles, and then Mom and Nick are standing beside me. We hug and pat one another as if to reassure ourselves we're all here. We are alive and unhurt, except for the hurt inside. And that will pass. We've got each other.

Mom clasps my face in her hands. “I thought something had happened to you. When we heard the shot—”

“I'm all right,” I say.

“I'm so sorry I didn't believe you about Brian,” Mom says fervently. “That we didn't. We thought it was the trauma talking—”

“It's okay. I might not have believed me, either,” I say, trying to smile.

“Where is he?” Dad croaks. “Where is that—”

“He's upstairs,” I say. “Officer Ridley shot him.”

They stare at me.

“He's alive,” Nick says. “Which is more than he deserves—” His voice cracks. “The things he said he was going to do to you—to us all—”

I reach for his hand. “You were brave, you know.”

Nick squeezes my fingers. “You were, too.”

And somehow, the way he says it, I know that what happened is going to go into one of his comics.

“You are both amazing,” Dad says. He gently tugs my hair. “I hope you know that now.”

“I do,” I say. And I laugh. Because I really do. I escaped death twice and won. I stopped a rapist, a kidnapper, a murderer. I'm not the victim Brian said I am. I never was.

There's a banging on the front door. “Police!”

Mom lets them in, and they tramp up the stairs in their heavy boots, their radios squawking, mud staining the stairs. I watch as they lead Brian out. I know I'm not to blame for what he did. And I know, too, that I am strong inside—stronger than I ever realized.

Officer Ridley approaches us, looking almost hesitant.

“Thank you for protecting my daughter,” Dad says, clasping the officer's hand in both of his. “My daughter and her friend.”

Officer Ridley tugs at his collar. “I was just doing my duty, sir. But I thought you'd want to know—we found a piece of paper on him about a bank in the Cayman Islands. One of the other officers said it might be tied to your case.”

I can see the hope light up in my dad's eyes.

“Thank you,” he says again.

The door closes behind the officer, and I feel myself breathe freely for the first time since I escaped.

I hug Dad tight, and he hugs me back. I feel safe again, just like when I was little. Except this time, I feel my own strength as well as Dad's.

My stained cheek is pressed against his shirt. It's been a part of me all these years; maybe it's even helped shape who I am—and I'm okay with that. I like who I am now. I know that I'm a fighter—I don't go down easy. Maybe Diamond and I aren't that different after all.

Every two minutes someone in the United States is sexually assaulted.
¹
Nine out of ten rape victims are female
²
—and those are just the ones we know about, who've reported it. Forty-four percent of those are under the age of eighteen.
³
Studies show that the majority of rapes and sexual abuse are committed by someone the victim knows—incest, date rape—but rape can happen anywhere, and knowing how to defend yourself can make a huge difference in your safety. I hope you'll consider taking a self-defense class in your area. It can help you feel stronger, more confident, and more able to protect yourself.

Stained
is a work of fiction, but I drew on some of my own experiences with bullying, abuse, and trauma to write it, just as I did with
Scars
and
Hunted.
Like Sarah, I experienced abduction, imprisonment, periods of forced starvation, mind control, and having my life threatened—though in a different way. I was also bullied throughout my school years—not because I had a port-wine stain but because I was a scared, shy, abused kid. It made me an easy target for others with their own pain and anger.

Like Sarah, I fought back against my abusers, most especially to help protect other victims, and I tried many times to escape (eventually successfully). I also, like Sarah, fought back internally to keep hold of my own truths, goodness, and sense of what was right and wrong. Those things, and my fighting spirit, my dissociation, my writing and art, the books I read, and, later, good people, all helped me to survive and to heal.

I think we need to hear more good-news stories about survivors who've fought back and escaped. We need the hope and strength they give us. I hope
Stained
will be a kind of good-news story, where readers can see that survivors can fight back and rescue themselves.

—C.R.

 

For additional information from the author about the book, her own experiences, and resources for learning more about self-defense, cyber bullying, body image, and oppression, go to her website at
www.CherylRainfield.com
. This site is filled with free articles, teachers' guides, book trailers, short stories, and a variety of useful information. You can also visit her blog at
www.CherylRainfield.com/blog
.

I give my heartfelt thanks to the following people:

Jean, who gives me such unconditional love, support, and nurturance, and who has given me safety, family, and healing that I never thought I'd have. You are my chosen mom, and I love you dearly.

Karen Grove, my editor, who believed in
Stained
enough to take it on, and who gave me incredibly thoughtful, insightful feedback, helping me make it an even stronger, more powerful book. I so appreciate how you also allowed me to follow my heart and intuition as I edited.

Andrea Somberg, my wonderful agent, who has fought for me with all my books, opened doors for me, and believed in me.

Julie Schoerke, my incredible publicist and friend, who has helped get my books out into readers' hands and who has supported me, encouraged me, and cared about me with such compassion.

Evelyn Fazio, who was my editor for two books, and who is a dear friend, giving me great support and encouragement as a survivor and as a writer. Thank you for believing in me always.

My closest, most treasured friends, Jo Beggs and Hilary Cameron, for believing in me always, encouraging me to play, hope, and dream, and to be all of who I am.

Gail Fisher-Taylor, who gave me the first real safety and support I ever had and who believed my memories.

Writer Sandy Raven, who patiently answered my many questions about guns, and who also connected me with her sister-in-law, who's an ER nurse. Any mistakes are my own.

ER nurse Susan Raven, RN, CEN, who answered my many questions about what would happen once Sarah got to the hospital. Again, any mistakes are my own.

My many, many writing friends, who've encouraged me and believed in me: Lena Coakley, Nancy Prasad, Wendy Orr, Debbie Ohi, Nelsa Roberto, Erin Thomas, Marina Cohen, Karen Krossing, Anna Kerz, Carolyn Beck, Sarah Hartt-Snowbell, Mahtab Narsimhan, Maureen McGowan, Barbara Greenwood, Kathy Stinson, and Peter Carver. And thank you to the writers whose books I love and who I look up to, who've offered me kind words and encouragement: Lois Duncan, Ellen Hopkins, Libba Bray, Barbara Greenwood.

All the readers who've written to me, telling me how much
Scars
and
Hunted
moved you, touched you, and spoke to you. I treasure your letters, and so appreciate your writing me.

All the librarians and teachers who have helped get my books into readers' hands. You're fantastic!

And all the reviewers who've reviewed my books and let me and others know how much you enjoyed them. I thank you.

 

C
HERYL
R
AINFIELD
, author of the award-winning novel
Scars
and a survivor of severe abuse, draws upon her own experience to create an intense and highly charged story that heralds the strength and courage of ordinary people.

Cheryl has been applauded for her ability to “write with great empathy and compassion” and to offer insight for teens facing challenges of abuse, bullying, selfharm, and same-sex attraction. She lives in Toronto, Canada.

www.cherylrainfield.com

1. RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network), based on U.S. Department of Justice,
National Crime Victimization Survey,
2006–2010.
www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/frequency-of-sexual-assault
.

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***

2. RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network), based on U.S. Department of Justice,
2003 National Crime Victimization Survey.
2003.
www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
.

[back]

***

3. RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network), based on U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics,
Sex Offenses and Offenders.
1997.
www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
.

[back]