Spoilt (32 page)

“
Lucas! Stop using your tough detective act with
me.”

“
I’m not.”

“
What happened to the Lucas I saw last Sunday?”

He shrugged. “He got caught up in the moment I guess. The
moment has passed. This is great by the way.”

“
Ok, if you’re going to hide behind this bravado,
Lucas—“

“
I’m not,” he cut her off. “Why is this your concern
anyway?”

“
Damn it, Lucas. Stop it!”

He looked up at her and his composure crumbled.

“
I just can’t do it, Carrie. Look how I reacted when she was
gone and I’d only known her just over a week. It is only going to
get harder the longer I know her and if anything happened to her
again, it would be the end of me,” he said his voice full of
torment.

“
Ah, there you are.” She paused. “Lucas, honey, I already told
you about what-ifs. You can’t go through life worrying about what
might happen.”

“
It did happen, Carrie. I didn’t protect her because I
couldn’t think straight when I was with her.”

“
You really believe this is your fault?”

“
Things seem to happen to people that love me.”

“
She’s still alive, Lucas and she is because of who you
are.”

“
That is not the point, Carrie.”

“
Well, what is?”

“
That I was right all along about not to getting involved. I
knew my heart wouldn’t be able to take it.”

“
You’re so stubborn.”

“
Look who’s talking.”

“
Ok, be a hard head about this but I think you deserve to be
happy and I think Chelsea is the girl who will do that. I saw you
with her and I got my little brother back for the first time in
thirteen years. Yes, you’re terrified but we all feel like that,
Lucas. You think it was easy for me? I can tell you that it wasn’t.
As much as I loved Nathan, the fear felt like it was
bigger.”

“
Exactly my point
.
”

“
I’m not finished,” she said, frowning at him. “Once the love
grew stronger the fear went away. The chance to be happy was
greater than the fear. The feeling of being in love was so
wonderful that it didn’t matter what would or could happen
tomorrow. All that matters is how you feel each day, and to cherish
every moment. You’re just going to be miserable without her
anyway.”

“
Why do you think I’m finding it so difficult? I think about
her every moment of every day. The ache I feel because I’m not with
her, that I’m not there for her is getting worse but I … just ...
can’t ...”

“
I know, honey but how does it feel when you’re with
her?”

“
Like there’s no-one else in the world.”

“
Then take the chance. Something bad has already happened and
she’s still alive. You should be relieved, not running away because
she might not be.”

“
I hurt her. She won’t want to see me now.”

“
I think you’re underestimating her feelings for
you.”

“
I have to think about it some more.”

“
I think you do too much thinking and what you should be doing
is following your heart. Now there is nothing more I can say. It’s
up to you now.”

“
You’re right it is up to me and I thought I’d already made my
decision.”

“
Well I think it’s the wrong one,” she told him taking away
his dinner dishes. “Maybe you should go home. I’m far too annoyed
at you right now.”

Lucas thought about everything Carrie had said to him while
sitting alone in his barren apartment. With his heart empty and his
mind full of Chelsea, he tried once again to get the sleep he
needed.

Chapter 36

Home

Sunday

After Lucas had left her the previous day, Chelsea spent the
rest of the afternoon and night with her misery. She told the
nursing staff she didn’t want any more visitors. She couldn’t
believe it could possibly hurt so much after only knowing him a
week. Chelsea couldn't remember feeling this awful, even when Wes
left her and they’d been together three years.

Wes. He hadn’t left her though had he?

She shuddered and decided that door needed to be closed,
permanently. Guilt would consume her if she didn’t. She didn’t want
to believe her very existence drove Andrew to destroy so many
lives. He had been unstable and she should be grateful for being
alive. She had assumed Lucas would be too but how wrong she’d been.
Did she push too hard, ask too many questions? Had she wanted too
much too soon? She’d pushed Lucas away with her excessive
questions, her neediness.

The idea of returning to her empty house filled with memories
drove a wedge of pain through her already shattered heart. The
thought of getting on with her life or even Bloom held little
appeal. What was she going to do now? Chelsea pondered over this
while nursing her heartache. She had some decisions to
make.

She’d made up her mind only moments before Charlotte was
wheeled in again for a visit after lunch.

“
Sorry I haven’t come to visit again before now but the drill
sergeant nurse wouldn’t let me.” She frowned at the nurse pushing
the chair. “She says we need our rest but I feel perfectly rested
and can’t wait to get out of here.”

“
In a couple of days,” the nurse told her and then
left.

“
So you look as gloomy as me. Are you ready to go home
too?”

“
Yes but not back to my house
.
I want to go home, back to Mum and
Dad’s.”

“
You probably need a holiday. It’s a good idea.”

“
Not for a holiday, Charlotte. Permanently.”

“
What? Why?”

“
There’s nothing for me here.”

“
What about Lucas? And Bloom?”

“
The shop can be sold. I can open one down there. Since Mrs.
Newman’s store closed, there’s no florist and there is a whole
market waiting to be serviced.”

“
What about Lucas?’

“
What about him?”

“
I thought you were in love with him.”

“
I am, it seems - he isn’t.”

“
What happened?”

“
He decided I wasn’t worth sticking around for.”

“
He’s just scared. He was going out of his mind when you were
missing. Someone doesn’t do that if they don’t care, Chelsea. He’ll
come around.”

“
If that really was the case, where is he now I’m safe?
Besides I’m not sitting around here waiting for him to make up his
mind.”

“
I’m not saying that
.
I’m simply suggesting you hold off making any decisions
right now. Give it a bit of time and then come home.”

“
I’ve made my decision. I’ll call Mum later and have her put
the house up for rent or sale. The shop I can sell when I get
home.”

“
Is this what you really want?”

“
No, yes, I don’t know.”

The drill sergeant returned. “That’s long enough.”

“
Of course it is,” Charlotte said, glaring at the nurse.
“Please just think about it some more, Chels,” she said as she was
wheeled away.

* * *

That afternoon the doctor came in and checked on
her.

“
How are you feeling, Chelsea?

“
Sore.” She offered a small smile.

“
I’m pleased with how you’re progressing. You have finished
your course of antibiotics and your blood tests show you are free
of infection. Your wounds are healing well, so I think you can go
home in the morning.”

“
Thanks, Doctor.”

“
You’re welcome.” He offered her a warm smile before making
notes on her chart.

Chelsea was grateful to be leaving and couldn’t wait to pack
her things so she could get to her parents' house as soon as
possible. Now that she’d made the decision to be where she felt
happy and safe, she was anxious to get started.

“
My only condition for sending you home early is you have to
promise to rest.”

“
I will.” He smiled again and left her to it.

Moments later Carrie walked in, her expression guarded as she
sat in the chair.

“
Hey, Chelsea, how are you feeling?” She stopped when Chelsea
turned to her. “Ouch! Looking at you, I think I have my answer.”
She smiled.

“
I think it looks worse than it feels.” Chelsea smiled in
return, trying to feign a happy face.

“
How are you, really?”

“
I’ll be better when I go home.”

“
When are they releasing you?”

“
Tomorrow morning then I’ll be packing to go home, back to my
parents' house.”

“
How long are you going for?”

“
I’m going to stay. There is nothing for me here anymore. I’m
going to sell the shop and start again.”

“
Lucas does love you. He’s just scared.”

Chelsea just shrugged. “I need to be around people that love
me right now. I need to … heal.”

“
For what it’s worth, I think you’re very brave.”

“
I feel a little bit like a coward, like I’m running
away.”

“
Sweetie, you’re not a coward, Lucas is.”

Chelsea shrugged again, what more was there to say? He no
longer wanted to be in her life and she had to accept
it.

They chatted about other things for a few minutes until
Chelsea pretended she was tired and Carrie left.

The moment she was gone, Chelsea called her mother. After a
long drawn out conversation with Sarah, who asked numerous times if
she was sure it was what she wanted to do, Chelsea assured her it
was. Sarah told her she’d take care of it on Monday.

* * *

Hoping he wouldn’t have time to think about her, Lucas buried
himself in work. He would get over her in time; didn’t they say it
healed all wounds?

When Maggie came in, she took one look at Lucas and knew
immediately he hadn’t sorted things out or made the right
decision.

“
Do not even start with me, Maggie and thanks for calling my
sister again.”

“
I’m just trying to help you, Lucas. I want you to be happy. I
was starting to enjoy the new you.”

“
Well, I just want everyone to stay out of my
business.”

“
Ok, point taken. Now where are we with the arson case? Better
get me up to speed.”

Lucas ran through the case and his findings along with what
the arson specialist from the fire department had discovered. They
spent the remainder of the morning conducting interviews and
deciding on the next course of action.

By the end of a long day fatigue began to kick in, so Lucas,
after grabbing a takeout dinner, went home to crash. He was just
about to jump into bed, when his phone rang.

What now?

“
Hudson.”

“
I’m sorry about last night, honey.”

“
That’s ok, Carrie. I’m used to it.”

“
Ha ha, look, I’m just worried about you.”

“
I’ll be right.”

“
Ok but I have something else to say and then I’ll drop
it.”

“
Good because I’m tired and I don’t want to talk about it
anymore.”

“
She’s leaving.”

“
Who is and where?”

“
Don’t play dumb, Lucas. Chelsea is leaving the hospital and
the city. She’s going back to live with her parents. I think she’s
selling the shop and moving permanently.”

His heart stopped when he realised he would probably never see
her again.

You weren’t going to anyway.

This is what he tried to tell himself but he couldn’t
understand why he suddenly felt so lost and alone.

“
Lucas, you still there?”

“
Yeah, I’m here.”

“
Well, are you going to let her go?”

“
It’s not my choice, Carrie. It’s hers.”

“
Yes but you could change her choice.”

“
She’ll be better off with her family. They’ll take care of
her.”

“
So can you.”

“
Cleary
.
I
did a rotten job of that already.”

“
It wasn’t your fault, Lucas.” When he didn’t answer, she
continued. “Okay fine, I just thought I would tell you, so you
would at least realise that she would be gone from your life for
good and let you discover how you feel about that. Good night.”
Then she was gone.

Chelsea was leaving? How did he feel about this? Like someone
had taken a knife and stabbed him through the heart.

She’ll be better off.

He went to bed and dreamt about her beautiful face being
constantly out of reach. When he reached for her, she moved further
away until he couldn’t see her anymore. Lucas woke up with a start
and looked around the blackened room. Would he ever be able to
escape his dreams?