Spoilt (31 page)

* * *

As Maggie walked out of the hospital, she realised that
Chelsea hadn’t looked up once. It appeared that guilt was
destroying Chelsea’s soul and the one person she needed had
abandoned her. When she got back to the station, she found Lucas
finishing off some paperwork.

“
Did you get some rest?” she asked.

“
Yeah, a bit and then I cleaned up and came back.” He cleared
his throat. “Um, how is she?”

“
How do you think, Lucas?” she said tightly. “You could go and
find out for yourself and stop being a coward. If you are actually
going to break up with her at least have the decency to tell
her.”

“
I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I’m not ready to see
her like that again just yet.”

“
This isn’t just about you, Hudson. She’s just been through
a horrific ordeal and found out her fiancé was murdered. She needs
you more than ever now. You can at least go and see her, for
her.”

“
Get off my case, Maggie. I’ll go when I’m ready.”

“
I’m just about to type up my notes and I think you should
read them. Do you at least want to know who he was and why he did
this?”

“
Knowing the gory details aren’t going to help.”

“
She blames herself for everything that happened.”

“
Well she shouldn’t.”

“
He didn’t touch her either. Not in the way he did the
others. She said he got distracted and then interrupted by us. I
don’t know whether that makes any difference to you or
not.”

“
It doesn’t, I told you it has nothing to do with that but I’m
relieved she didn’t have to suffer through that as well. I’m still
not going to read your notes. I don’t want to know ... it’s hard
enough. Are you able to finish closing the investigation? I don’t
want to think about it anymore and we have an arson case with a
body and someone needs to attend the scene.”

“
Fine, go,” she said curtly.

After he left she shook her head.

Men!

She typed out her notes and left the file on his desk. He
needed to know how much she needed him. Knowing how stubborn he
could be, Maggie did the only thing she could think to help them.
She picked up the phone to call Carrie, for the second time that
week.

Chapter 34

Heartbreak

Sunday

Gavin and Lauren called by to see Chelsea with a large bouquet
of flowers from Bloom, which brightened the room but did little to
shift her dread. She put on a brave face for her visitors who
filtered in over the afternoon and felt slightly comforted by the
friendly faces of her family and friends. None of them was Lucas.
Chelsea’s heartache was more intense than all her external injuries
combined.

Her thoughts went to Wes and her heart broke for the loss of
his life. The only consolation was that their love had been torn
apart by a heartless killer, not because of anything she had done.
Then again, Andrew had murdered him because of her. What was
worse?

Her first love
was murdered because of his association with her
and the second absent when she needed him.
Lucas.
How could he stay away for so long? Why
was he avoiding her? If it was him and not her lying in the
hospital bed, she would never have left his side. She understood he
was working but was a five minute visit too much to ask? Annoyance
replaced despondency for the moment until realisation hit. Did he
care so little about her? Did he love her at all? Maybe she was
only a passing fancy? Another conquest. Or had she simply driven
him away? Despair overwhelmed her again. Deciding to find out once
and for all, she reached for the phone.

“
Hudson,” his voice sent her heart into sudden nervous
palpitations. Did she really want to hear this?

“
Hi,” she squeaked. Now that she had him on the
phone
,
she didn’t know what she wanted to say.

“
Hello, Chelsea,” he answered her in a formal, polite tone.
“How are you feeling?”

“
I’ve been better.”

“
Yeah, um, I suppose you have. I hope they’re looking after
you.”

What is with the tone? Why is he being courteous, polite, just
as he would with someone he didn’t know? Like a witness!

“
Of course, it’s a hospital, Lucas,” she said. Was it possible
her heart could break further?

“
I’m sorry I haven’t been in to see you. I’ve been swamped and
there’s a new case.”

“
Five minutes wouldn’t hurt you, Lucas.”

“
I’ll come a bit later, okay?”

“
Suit yourself.” She hung up.

What was with him? Why was he being so indifferent?
She was right he
didn’t love her. What little was left of Chelsea’s broken heart
shattered to the floor.

* * *

After attending the arson scene, Lucas drove around for a
while and tried to get his head together. Chelsea’s call caught him
off guard and he hadn’t known what to say. Guilt clutched his chest
but he still could not bring himself to see her. He couldn’t bear
the thought of ending it with her either. Confusion played havoc in
his mind.

His thoughts drifted back to the previous day. After leaving
the hospital, he’d gone back to the station and filed his report
regarding the shooting. He wanted to get it out of the way so the
case could be closed and he wouldn’t have to think about it or
her.

He’d gone home to catch up on some much needed sleep but it
hadn’t come. All he could think about was the knife at her throat
and the blood running down her neck. He had never wanted to get
involved with anyone, ever. Then he’d met Chelsea and she’d turned
his world upside down.

Her kidnapping nearly sent him crazy. He never wanted to feel
dread and helplessness again, as he had the day his parents died.
But Lucas did feel it all over again and it was almost too much. He
had to walk away. He wouldn’t be able to take it again.

That morning, after a useless attempt at trying to rest, he
discovered he still wasn’t ready to face anything just yet,
especially her. He called Maggie and asked her to cover for him for
a few hours and she kindly said she would.

“
Take all the time you need,” she told him. “As long as the
decision you make is the right one.”

He’d spent all morning thinking about her and their time
together, which merely caused his heart to ache.
If it hurt this
much and she was still alive, imagine how much it would hurt if she
wasn’t.
This
was the mantra he repeated over and over but his heart wouldn’t
listen. So to escape reliving their memories, he showered and went
to work.

Now he didn’t know what to do. Maggie was right - he was a
coward and he decided he’d better make a decision, so he drove
towards the hospital.

* * *

Chelsea was lost in her memories when Lucas trudged in, eyes
downcast. He slumped into the nearby chair. She noticed immediately
that he could not, would not, lift his eyes to her. She knew they
would be dark and troubled.

“
How are you feeling?” he asked.

“
I’m not going to tell you until you look at me.”

He brought his eyes to hers and the unmistakable look of
regret and sadness was etched within them. His expression however,
remained blank.

“
I’m fine,” she said shortly.

“
Chelsea …” He paused as he traced her injuries with his eyes
before looking down again. “I can’t go through that again. Losing
my parents and seeing them that day was the worst thing that has
happened to me, until Thursday. I never wanted to ever get close to
anyone so I wouldn’t ever have to feel loss like that again and …”
He trailed off, unsure of what to say.

“
And what, Lucas?
” she said coolly. “You would rather be alone and
sad than scared and happy?”

“
Something like that,” he mumbled.

She didn’t answer, so he continued. “You’re the most beautiful
woman I’ve ever met. I guess I just got lost in the moment and I
....”

“
Just go,” she said to him cutting him off.

“
Chelsea I …”

“
I ... said ....go.”

He stood up and walked out without looking at her.
Dumbfounded, Chelsea curled up and hugged the pillow to her chest.
Hot tears stung her face as the pain consumed her.

Chapter 35

Indifference

Sunday

It felt as though his heart had been ripped out. Lucas thought
it was impossible to feel worse than he already did, only to
discover it wasn’t. Work was the only answer, so he drove towards
the precinct with the intent of absorbing himself in the arson
investigation. Perhaps he could forget her face and how battered it
was because, at the moment, it was a permanent scar in his
mind.

Her left eye was various shades of purple and yellow, with
stitches in the corner near the eyebrow. Her bottom lip was split
and swollen and there was a large dark bruise on her right cheek.
Both wrists were bandaged, as was her throat, and he definitely did
not want to imagine what was underneath.

Seeing her battered and bruised had been what tipped him over
the edge. Walking away was the only option. He hadn’t protected her
and she’d gotten hurt. He had lost focus and she had almost lost
her life. Yes, he was going to be alone and miserable but he knew
that it was better than living with the constant fear of her death.
He loved her and he was doing this for her.

As he was about to climb out of the car, his phone rang
again.

“
Hudson.”

“
Hello, Lucas, how are you?”

“
I’m fine, Carrie.”

“
You’re always fine but I want to know how you really are.
Come over after work. Nathan is taking the kids to a movie so I
thought I would cook you some dinner. I doubt you’ve eaten properly
in the last couple of days. I won’t take no for an answer. See you
at seven.” She hung up.

He dropped into the station on the way to Carrie’s to drop
off his notes from the arson case to be typed up in the morning.
Chelsea’s file was sitting on his desk and he knew Maggie had left
it there, urging him to read it. He picked it up and thumbed the
cover as he contemplated what to do. Did he want to know what was
inside? This was hard enough. Knowing about her ordeal was
definitely not going to help. Andrew Smyth, or Chad Wilson, or
whatever his name was had been deranged and there would be nothing
in the file to indicate any differently. Maggie had said Chelsea
was feeling guilty but this would be her empathic nature rather
than reason. She had nothing to feel guilty about. This wasn’t her
fault, it was his. He had been chasing the wrong person all along.
Throwing the file back on Maggie’s desk he decided to ignore
it.

* * *

As he didn’t want to make the lecture he was about to receive
any worse, Lucas ensured he arrived at his sister’s house promptly
at seven. Nathan, Mabel and Tommy were heading towards the car as
he walked to the door.

“
Uncle Lucas,” they both cried together before running over to
hug his legs.

“
Are you coming to the movies with us?” Mabel asked
him.

“
Not tonight, Mabe Babe. I’m having dinner with your
mum.”

“
Will you be taking us out tomorrow?” Tommy asked.

“
No, I have to work this weekend but I promise next week,
okay?”

“
Okay,” they chimed and ran towards their father’s
car.

“
Being happy is terrifying but it is worth it.” Nathan patted
him on the back and then followed his children to the
car.

“
Wow, you look miserable,” Carrie said.

He shrugged.

“
Come and tell me what is going on in that head of
yours.”

“
Nothing, Carrie. I’m fine.”

“
Yes, so you said.”

She guided him into the dining room, put a plate and a beer
down in front of him and began her inquisition.

“
So, I hear you’re going to walk away from the best thing that
ever happened to you.”

“
Who told you that?” he asked her between bites.

“
Maggie did.” She paused. “Before you get cranky, I would have
found out anyway.”

He shrugged again and continued eating.

“
Lucas, I thought you loved her. How can you do this,
especially after everything she’s been through?”

“
I’m doing this because of everything that happened. Besides
too late now, it’s done.”

“
What has gotten into you? Yesterday you were devastated at
the thought of losing her and today you walk away.”

He shrugged. “It ran its course. She was kidnapped and it was
my job to find her as it was my job to investigate the murders. I
was concerned because I had a thing with her. I wasn’t focused
enough to do my job and I blame myself for what
happened.”