Splendor (Inevitable #2) (28 page)

Tears were running freely down her cheeks now as she whispered in a broken voice. “I should have been there with her. I knew how bad off she was, how far into the darkness she’d fallen. I could have saved her, could have - ”

“Stop it.” He crushed her against him, lowering her head to his shoulder and holding her while she wept. “Hush, love. Don’t do this to yourself. I’m guessing you’ve blamed yourself for years, but it wasn’t your fault. Your mother was very ill from the sounds of it, and you were at work when the fire started. Working to help take care of her, I might add. So stop feeling responsible, Tessa. It was just a terrible accident.”

Ian continued to rock her gently in his arms, as though she were a child, until her sobs began to subside and she was calm enough to continue telling her story. She didn’t resist when he refilled her brandy glass, and obediently took a swallow.

“So what happened to you after that?” he prodded gently. “You were what – sixteen? Were you forced into one of those foster homes you had heard awful things about?”

Tessa shook her head. “No. There was a Red Cross volunteer on site the night of the fire, and she arranged for most of the residents to stay in a motel for a few days. It was pretty confusing that night so no one really bothered to ask how old I was or anything. I stayed in the motel for a week, and the Red Cross arranged for vouchers for stuff like food and clothes. But I knew it would only be a matter of days before someone figured out I was underage and had nowhere to go. One of the girls I worked with on the weekends – Michelle – heard about what happened and convinced her mother to let me stay with them. Michelle was one of the few friends I had, though I didn’t know her all that well since we went to different high schools. But she’d always been nice to me, and I was desperate at that point, so I agreed.”

“Go on,” encouraged Ian. “What happened then?”

“I moved in with Michelle, her mother and younger sister. Her mother didn’t seem all that happy to have me there at first, but when she learned she’d get a monthly foster care check that made things a little better. But it was – well, kind of a nightmare living there. The three of them fought constantly – screaming matches, name calling, horrible, awful fights – and they seemed to happen almost every day.” Tessa gave a little shudder. “As sick as my own mother was, she never once yelled at me or called me the sort of terrible names Michelle’s mom used. But I wasn’t even at the house all that much between school and two jobs, and it was better than being homeless.”

“So you stayed there until you turned eighteen?”

“No.” She gave another shake of her head. “I stayed there for just a few months, until Michelle’s older sister moved back home. Along with her boyfriend and their two small children. Both of them had lost their jobs, been evicted from their apartment, and had no money. So all of a sudden the house – which only had three bedrooms – went from having four people living there to eight. And what had been a nightmare for me became a living hell. Now there were five adults all fighting with each other, plus two screaming kids. Michelle and I had to move out of her bedroom so her sister and her family could use it. I wound up sleeping on the floor of the room Michelle had to share with her younger sister. Even then I kept telling myself it was better than living in my car.”

The expression on Ian’s face had become deadly serious, his mouth a grimace. “I’m going to assume that wasn’t precisely the case, though.”

“It wasn’t. The sister’s boyfriend – he was – a real creep, no other way to put it. My skin would crawl from just being in the same room with him, so I made sure I avoided him like the plague. Unfortunately, he was – attracted to me, made some very unwanted advances, said some really disgusting things to me. I was on the verge of leaving the house for good just so I wouldn’t have to see him again.”

Ian made a low, snarling sound. “If you’re about to tell me that piece of filth touched you - or worse- I swear that I will hunt him down like the animal he is and beat him to death.”

She laid a hand on his arm, soothing his barely controlled rage. “No. It never got that far. But Michelle’s sister overheard some of the stuff the creep said to me, and she went a little crazy, accusing me of trying to steal him away. Her mother got involved and took her daughter’s side, then basically told me to get out because I was disrupting the household and I couldn’t stay any longer. Michelle tried sticking up for me, but her mother threatened to toss her out, too, so I just left. Believe me, sleeping in my car was an improvement over having to live in those conditions one more day.”

Ian shut his eyes, and didn’t speak for several seconds, almost as though he were silently counting to ten to keep his rage in check. “Christ. You actually slept in your car, Tessa? There was nowhere else for you to go? Wouldn’t a foster home – no matter how awful – have been a better solution?”

“I truly didn’t think so at the time, no,” she replied honestly. “I’d read some real horror stories and talked to kids at my school about the kind of homes teenagers were usually placed in – mostly group homes where you lived with recovering addicts or kids just out of juvenile detention. There were other stories, too, about girls who’d been raped or abused. I decided to take my chances on my own.”

He ran a hand down his face, as if unable to believe what he was hearing. “How did you manage? I mean - ”

“The school term was still going on so I was able to use the showers in the gym during the week. Weekends I had to – er, improvise some. I did laundry at a laundromat. I qualified for free school lunches and made that my main meal, and just ate what I could afford the rest of the time. I made sure I moved my car around a lot when I parked for the night so I wouldn’t look suspicious always staying in the same neighborhood. And I always parked in good areas that were well lit. The weather in Tucson is pretty warm all year round so being cold at night was never an issue.”

“God.” He surged to his feet and began to pace around the library. His entire body was tense and almost shaking, and he kept clenching and unclenching his fists, as though he longed to hit something.

“If it’s any consolation,” she told him meekly, “I only lived that way for about four months.”

He spun around to face her, his handsome face livid with rage. “Four
hours
would have been too long for you to live like that. I feel – sick, Tessa. Bloody sick at the thought of you all alone and helpless. Jesus, anything could have happened to you out there. You could have been raped, robbed, murdered.”

“I know,” she admitted reluctantly. “I never slept especially well those months, was always cautious to make sure no one bothered me.”

“What changed after those hellish months?” he rasped. “Please, for God’s sake, tell me things got better after that.”

“They did. And what happened after that was Peter. My hus – my ex-husband. He – well, there’s really no other way to say this. He saved me, Ian. In more ways than you can possibly imagine.”

Ian refilled his brandy snifter and drank half the contents in one gulp. ”Continue, Tessa. I’m sorry if I seem upset but – Christ, to think of you all alone that way.” His voice trailed off as he shuddered.

“It’s okay, honestly.” Tessa found it a bit odd that she was the one offering
him
comfort under the circumstances. But then, she already knew how the story ended.

“I’d known Peter for a little over a year,” she related. “He and I both worked at Old Navy after school. Well, saying I knew him might have been a stretch. I knew his name, said hello in passing, and spoke to him on occasion when I had a question about something in his department. He was quiet, like me, and very introverted. A real loner.” She was relieved to notice that Ian had stopped his frantic pacing and seemed calmer.

“Because our shifts at the store didn’t end until late, we usually walked out to our cars together. It wasn’t something he ever offered to do, it just sort of evolved into that. Anyway, one night we got out to our cars and mine had been broken into. Fortunately, anything of value I had was in my purse which I had taken with me so nothing was stolen. But, well, it was all just too much for me to take and I started crying. And of course, it happened to be another Wednesday.”

“So Peter – he helped you?”

“He did.” She nodded in assent. “We stopped somewhere for coffee and I told him everything that had happened in the last few months – the fire, living at Michelle’s, sleeping in my car. He didn’t say much, but told me to follow him when we left. We wound up at his house. The house itself was in pretty bad shape, but it was on a big corner lot and there was some space in the back that was sheltered where he told me I could park every night. He figured it would be safer there and he could keep an eye on me.”

Ian was still frowning. “Why didn’t he just invite you inside?”

“Because if my life had been difficult, Peter’s had been one of constant torment. His mother was a chronic drunk, a really horrible woman, and he refused to even let me meet her, told me I didn’t need any other negative experiences in my life. He’d sneak me inside when she left the house or was passed out drunk so I could use the shower or bathroom, would bring me food and just sort of look out for me. It wasn’t perfect but at least I felt a little safer and not quite so alone.”

He leaned back against a low table that held a marble chess set, his feet crossed at the ankles as he sipped his brandy. “And how long did this new arrangement last?”

“Just a few months. Until Peter graduated from high school and turned eighteen.”

Ian raised a brow. “What happened then?”

“He married me.”

***

Ian was damned glad he hadn’t chosen that particular moment to take a sip of brandy because he most certainly would have choked on it. When Tessa had told him rather uncertainly at the restaurant that she wanted to tell him about her past, nothing in the world could have prepared him for all of the terrible things that had befallen her in her relatively short life thus far. But this latest revelation – while certainly not terrible – might have been the biggest shock of them all.

He stared at her in disbelief. “So exactly how old were
you
when this marriage took place?”

Tessa looked down at her lap where she was clasping and unclasping her hands in agitation. “Seventeen,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Seventeen. Why, Tessa? Why couldn’t you have waited until you were a little older? Were the two of you that much in love?”

Her gaze flew up to meet his at this question, and she shook her head in denial. “That – that’s not it at all. We rushed to get married as soon as possible so that Peter – so that he could be legally responsible for me. The social worker assigned to my case finally figured out that I wasn’t living at Michelle’s any longer – even though her mother kept cashing the support checks. So Peter offered to get married in order to – well - ”

“To save you. Yes, I understand now.” Ian heaved a sigh. “So you didn’t marry for the usual reasons, then?”

“We weren’t madly in love, if that’s what you mean. Peter was kind to me, we became best friends, but it was never a romantic relationship. And we never intended to stay married. Peter had always planned to pack up and leave Tucson as soon as he turned eighteen – too many awful memories there for him. But he stayed – for me – first so I could finish high school, turn eighteen and be considered a legal adult.”

“And yet you remained married for quite a long time after that.” His curiosity was growing by leaps and bounds.

“Yes.” She took another sip of her brandy. “Peter enrolled in community college that first year and we moved into a shared rental.
That
was another disaster. We were in such a hurry to find a place that we could afford that we didn’t bother to find out much about our roommates.” She managed a small smile. “You know how you told me your favorite movie is
Animal House
?”

Ian nodded, quite certain he wasn’t going to like where her question was leading. “You aren’t going to tell me your roommates were like the characters in the movie, are you?”

“Worse. It was the nonstop party house, people coming and going constantly, no privacy, everyone helping themselves to food and things that Peter and I bought for ourselves. We ended up stashing things in our room, buying a padlock for the door, and spending as little time as possible there. We’d signed a lease for a year, couldn’t afford to break it, and didn’t have enough money saved to put down on another place anyway.”

“So you toughed it out for a year?”

Tessa wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Somehow, yes. We each worked two jobs, took a third over summer break, and saved every penny until we had enough to get a little place of our own the following year.”

“Why did you stay together after that first year? What changed?”

She heaved a little sigh. “Peter felt responsible for me, even though he had no real obligation. He told me he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself leaving town knowing I‘d be trying to fend for myself with no money, no real marketable job skills, no family to help out. So we decided I’d enroll in the office technology program at community college and get my certificate. He agreed to stay in town for the two years of the program, until I could get a good enough job to support myself. In the meanwhile, he received a scholarship to the University of Arizona and decided he might as well get his degree to have something to fall back on if his journalism career didn’t work out.”

“So you remained married another year so you could help him finish his degree?”

“That’s it exactly,” she agreed. “By then, we’d been married for four years and – well, we’d just grown used to being together, I suppose. When Peter got the job offer up here in San Francisco, I transferred, too. I didn’t have especially fond memories of Tucson so I welcomed the opportunity to leave.”

Ian offered up a brief smile. “Just about the only good thing to come out of this whole mess, wasn’t it? Your ex-husband’s job brought you into my life – even though I’ve had to wait an eternity for you.”