Spencer's Face (Buckeye Hawks) (18 page)

Todd left. Janel came in
about twenty minutes later. I was lying on the bed thinking about Taylor. I
thought about her a lot lately.

“Spencer?” she said as she
walked in. I knew that she knew from the tone of her voice. I was sure Todd
would tell her everything we’d talked about. I don’t think they kept secrets
from each other. What was coming up next?

“Yes?” I asked her.

“Just be careful.” She said.

“We will be very careful.” I
assured her. “At all times.”

“I don’t mean just birth
control. I mean with your heart. The first time you have sex, you always think
you’re in love. And, the possibility of finding your soul mate at
seventeen…well it’s not exactly a possibility if it never happens.”

I hated hearing her say that.
I was in love with Taylor and I hated hearing her say that I couldn’t be. “How
old were you?”

“When I had sex? Nineteen.
When I fell in love? Twenty one.” She answered me.

I didn’t expect her to be
quite that honest. “So it wasn’t Uncle Todd?”

“Sex? No. Love? Yes.” She
laughed at herself. “She is a great girl. But you’re one hell of a guy, Spencer.
You’re perfect, just like she said tonight. I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you too, Aunt Janel.”

She kissed me on the forehead
and walked out of my room. Damn that was a heavy load to think about. Talk
about intense. I had a lot to think about. Sex and love. I knew I was in love.
I wasn’t so sure about sex any more. But who would pass up a chance to be with
Taylor? Only an idiot would do that. In fact, I knew several guys on the team
that would kill for the chance. My best friend Zane was one of them. He told me
he wasn’t in love with her, but I’ve known him since last year, and I knew he
was. I didn’t feel like I was betraying him though, because he set us up so to
speak.

I changed and went to bed,
thinking about Taylor. Her incredible body, her beautiful smile, her long
beautiful hair, her electric blue eyes, her great tits, her tight ass, her
perfect legs. Damn I was a lucky guy. So damn lucky.

Oh my god. What had I agreed
to? Sex? Oh my god. I told Spencer that I wanted to have sex with him. He
didn’t even ask me. I asked him. How could I be such a slut? Good girls didn’t
tell guys they wanted sex, only bad girls did that. I suddenly felt so ashamed
of myself. I wanted to ask my mother about sex, but I’d never been able to talk
to her about sex. She made me feel dirty for even thinking about guys.

A few mornings later, Sandy
and I walked in to the school together. We were walking toward Senior Pole when
I noticed that several people were following us from a distance. Sandy noticed
it too. She gave me a funny look.

“I wonder what this is
about.” I asked her.

She shrugged her shoulders
and gave me a questioning look. “Do you think Vicky is waiting for you?”

“Oh crap!” I said. “I hope
not. I’ll get at least three days this time.”

Damn. That had to be the
reason people were following us. They were getting ready for blood.

As we walked up to Senior
Pole, I didn’t see Vicky anywhere. I looked next to Zane and saw Spencer.

I smiled really big. He
didn’t tell me he was going to make it back to school today. I wondered why he
didn’t tell me. His face looked better, but still very bad. It was really
scabbed and a little bloody still, but the swelling was almost gone. Almost. I
looked around and saw that everyone was still hovering. Why?

I reached Spencer, and
everyone in the group turned toward me, as if waiting on my reaction. What the
heck? I stood up on my tip toes and kissed Spencer really good. He placed his
hand on my waist and pulled me closer. “You didn’t tell me you were coming back
today.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”
he said with a smile. He was really happy for some reason.

“You look good.” I said to
him as I touched his face.

“It’s healing.” He said
nonchalantly.

I could tell he didn’t like
all of the attention. The crowd was dispersing now for some reason. I looked at
Sandy. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Can I walk you to your
History class?” Spencer asked me.

“Sure.” I said, then took his
hand that he was holding out for me.

“Thanks for not running.” He
said to me as we neared my History class. He was in an incredibly good mood.

“Running?” I asked him. What
was he talking about?

“The guys thought you’d run
when you saw me this morning.” he confided in me.

“Then the guys don’t know me
too well. Besides, I’ve already seen your face. It looks better than it looked
last night.”

“I’ll see you after class.”
He said to me, then kissed me on the lips.

Zane sat next to me in
History class. He put his cast up on his desk. He said his foot swelled if he
didn’t prop it up. We talked some before class started. Coach Snideman was
almost always late.

“You and Spencer seem to be
getting along really well.” Zane said to me.

I nodded with a smile to him.
“I like him more than I’ve ever liked anyone.”

Zane nodded with a smile. “I
can tell.”

I could tell that it kind of
hurt his feelings. He was my best male friend, but I knew that he wanted more
sometimes. It just didn’t work for us. We were meant to be friends.

At lunch, Sandy ditched me.
She always ditched me when I had a boyfriend. She didn’t want to be the third
wheel. Spencer and I drove to the department store parking lot instead of
eating lunch. I wanted to be alone with him. It was where all the kids with
cars went to make out during lunch. I’d been here several times with Jose,
Dwayne, Dale, and Jim. Even once with Zane.

“What are we doing here?” Spencer
asked as I pulled my car into a vacant spot. There weren’t many spots left.

“If I’ve got to tell you…” I
teased him.

He looked around at the other
cars. “Oh!” he said, as if suddenly realizing what was going on.

I parked the car. “I wanted
to talk to you about something.”

“Okay.” He said as he pulled
my hand into his. “Talk.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for
sex yet.” I said the words slowly. I knew this was beyond cruel to do this to a
guy. I think they even had a term for what I’d done to him.

“Then we’ll wait.” He said
easily. “I was having second thoughts myself.”

“Really. Why?” I asked him.
That really surprised me. A guy? Weren’t guys all gung-ho usually for sex?

“I had a talk with my uncle,
and the first time isn’t really pretty or fun for the girl.”

“You talked to your uncle?” I
asked. Surely he was kidding.

“He asked me if we were
thinking about sex. They kind of sensed something when they came home last
night. I’m sorry. I don’t lie to them.”

That I could understand.
“I’ve heard that it hurts the first time.” I told him. I’d heard girls talk
about it in groups for years. Sometimes it hurts really bad. I’ve heard horror
stories in fact.

“Is that why you want to
wait?” he asked me as he pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it.

“I don’t know. I just feel
like it’s wrong somehow.” I confided in him.

“We’ll wait then.” He told
me.

It was the first time that
had happened to me. Usually I heard the word goodbye right after that. And, I
was being even worse to Spencer than I had been to my other boyfriends. I
didn’t tease them, telling them that I wanted it, then back out on them. He was
being so nice to me. I reached over the console and kissed him. I loved kissing
him. Too much. I loved it so much that I wanted more.

He continued kissing me. We
made out for several minutes, then I felt his tongue enter my mouth. He was
learning too fast. He was incredibly good at kissing. He was making me melt,
and it wasn’t just that it was over ninety degrees outside. I started my car to
cool us off some. It helped but I don’t think the heat was coming from outside.
Spencer pulled me over the console to his lap. He never took his lips off of
me. He had his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

I loved being close to him. I
wanted to stay right here forever. No I wanted to be even closer to him. Oh my
god. I think I wanted to have sex with him. Is that what I wanted? I wasn’t
sure, but I wanted more. My heart pounded in my chest. I felt like I was about
to get on a roller coaster ride at the state fair. None of my other boyfriends
had affected me quite this way. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. Spencer
continued kissing me, never letting his hands roam once. The one guy that I
actually wanted to touch me and he doesn’t.

After a few more minutes, we
noticed the clock in the dashboard. “I think we need to get back to school.” I
said to him.

“Are we going to do this
every day for lunch?” he asked me, halfway teasing me.

“We can if you want. Do you
want to?” I told him halfway teasing. Of course, I really wanted to do it every
day for lunch. More than I’ve ever wanted to make out with a guy in my life.

“If you’ve got to ask…” he
tossed back at me. He was good at turning my jokes back on me. He was too witty
for me.

I laughed at him as I drove
us back to school. I dropped him off at the auto shop class. It was on the
furthest side of school. Right before he stepped out of my car, he kissed me
really good. Man, it felt so good to be together with him. I parked my car in
the parking lot and ran into Jose on the way onto school grounds. I didn’t know
what he was doing walking this way. I thought he had auto shop this period.

“Hi Taylor.” He said to me as
we walked together.

“Hi.” I said to him. I still
felt a little funny being alone with him. I could handle being around him in a
group, but being alone felt odd somehow. We hadn’t made it back to being actual
friends yet, after our breakup. “How’s it going?”

“Good.” He answered quickly. “So…Spencer!
What’s that about?”

 “I like him.” I stated
flatly. I didn’t know what he was getting at. I thought he and Spencer were
friends.

“So, he’s not just a pity
project? Like Trapper.” He asked snidely. Trapper was a dog that he and I
rescued from a trap years ago when we were just friends. His front leg was
completely mangled and the veterinarian couldn’t save it. I loved that dog so
much. I refused to have him put to sleep like the veterinarian recommended. I
took him home and kept him in my room. I treated him like a prize poodle. I
never did figure out what breed, or mixture of breeds, he was. He was mine,
that was all that mattered to me, and he needed me.

“What? I’m not…” I stopped. I
was so mad that I couldn’t speak. How dare he say that Spencer was some kind of
pity project. “I love him, Jose. More than I’ve ever liked a guy in my life.
And, I kept Trapper until he died of old age.”

“Love?” he asked quickly.
“You’re in love with him? That means you’re going to have sex with him. Doesn’t
it?”

Last year I’d given him the
fact that I didn’t love him as an excuse not to sleep with him. I glared at him
and gave him a look that hopefully told him that this was none of his business.

“Why him? I could have…” Jose
started, then stopped talking completely.

“He’s not pushing. He said he
would wait on me. And, he loves me.” I tried to explain things to him.