Speed-the-Plow (3 page)

F
OX
: How, how, figuring up the rentals, tie in, foreign, air, the . . .

G
OULD
: Uh huh . . .

F
OX
: Over the course . . .

G
OULD
: . . . don't forget the sequels.

F
OX
: Do we . . . we're tied in to that. . .?

G
OULD
: Are we tied in to that, Charl? Welcome to the world.

F
OX
: Hhhhh. How . .. (
Pause.
)

G
OULD
: The question, your crass question: how much money could we stand to make . . . ?

F
OX
: Yes.

G
OULD
: I think the operative concept here is “lots and lots . . .”

F
OX
: Oh, maan . . .

G
OULD
: Great big jolly
shitloads
of it.

F
OX
: Oh, maan . . .

GOULD
: But money . . .

F
OX
: Yeah.

G
OULD
: Money, Charl. . .

F
OX
: Yeah . . .

G
OULD
: Money is not the important thing.

F
OX
: No.

G
OULD
: Money is not Gold.

F
OX
: No.

G
OULD
: What can you do with Money?

F
OX
: Nothing.

G
OULD
: Nary a goddamn thing.

F
OX
: . . . I'm gonna be rich.

G
OULD
: “Buy” things with it.

F
OX
: Where would I
keep
them?

G
OULD
: What would you
do
with them?

F
OX
: Yeah.

G
OULD
: Take them out and
dust
them, time to time.

F
OX
: Oh yeah.

G
OULD
: I piss on money.

F
OX
: I know that you do. I'll help you.

G
OULD
:
Fuck
money.

F
OX
: Fuck it. Fuck “things” too . . .

G
OULD
: Uh huh. But don't fuck “people.”

F
OX
: No.

G
OULD
: ‘Cause, people, Charlie . . .

F
OX
: People . . . yes.

G
OULD
: Are what it's All About.

F
OX
: I know.

G
OULD
: And it's a People Business.

F
OX
: That it is.

G
OULD
: It's
full
of fucken’ people . . .

F
OX
: And we're gonna kick some ass, Bob.

GOULD
: That we are.

F
OX
: We're gonna kick the ass of a lot of them fucken’ people.

G
OULD
: That's right.

F
OX
: We get rolling, Bob. It's “up the ass with gun and camera.”

G
OULD
: Yup.

F
OX
: ‘Cause when you spend twenty years in the barrel . . .

G
OULD
: . . . I know . . .

F
OX
: No, you
don't
know, you've forgotten. Due respect.

G
OULD
: . . . may be . . .

F
OX
: But, but . . . oh maan . . . I'm gonna settle some fucken’ scores.

G
OULD
: Better things to do . . .

F
OX
: If there are,
show
them to me, man . . . A bunch of cocksuckers out there. Gimme’ a cigarette. Oh, Man, I can't come down.

G
OULD
: No need to. Huh . . .?

F
OX
: Ross, Ross, Ross isn't going to fuck me out of this . . .?

G
OULD
: No. Absolutely not. You have my word.

F
OX
: I don't need your word, Bob. I know
you
. . . Drives right to my house. I need a cup of coffee.

G
OULD (
into phone
): Could we get a cup . .. well, where did you try? Why not try the
coffee mach
. . . well, it's right down at the. . . down the, no, it's unmarked, just go . . . that's right. (
Hangs up.
)

F
OX
: What, you got a new broad, go with the new job . . .

G
OULD
: No. Cathy's just out sick.

F
OX
: Cute broad, the new broad.

G
OULD
: What? She's cute? The broad out there is cute? Baby, she's nothing. You wait ‘til we make this film.

F
OX
: She's nothing?

G
OULD
: Playing in this league? I'm saying, it's Boy's Choice: Skate in One Direction Only. (
Pause.
)

F
OX
: Oh, man, what am I going to
do
today?

G
OULD
: Go to a movie, get your hair done.

F
OX
: I'm jumping like a leaf.

G
OULD
: It's a done deal. We walk in
tomorrow
. . .

F
OX
(
picks up the book
): What's this, what's the thing you're reading I come in?

G
OULD
: This thing?

F
OX
: Uh huh . . .

G
OULD
: From the East. An Eastern Sissy Writer. (
Passes the book to
F
OX
.)

F
OX
(
reads
): “The Bridge: or, Radiation and the Half-Life of Society. A Study of Decay.”

G
OULD
: A Novel.

F
OX
: Great.

G
OULD
: A cover note from Richard Ross: “Give this a Courtesy Read.”

F
OX
(
reads
): “The wind against the Plains, but not a wind of change . . . a wind like that one which he'd been foretold, the rubbish of the world—swirling, swirling . . . two thousand years . . .” Hey I wouldn't just give it a
courtesy
read, I'd
make
this sucker.

G
OULD
: Good idea.

F
OX
: Drop a dime on western civilization.

G
OULD
: . . . ‘Bout time.

F
OX
: Why don't you do that?
Make
it.

G
OULD
: I think that I will.

F
OX
: Yeah. Instead of our Doug, Doug Brown's
Buddy
film.

G
OULD
: Yeah.
I
could do that. You know why? Because my job, my new job is one thing: the capacity to make decisions.

F
OX
: I know that it is.

G
OULD
: Decide, decide, decide . . .

F
OX
: It's lonely at the top.

G
OULD
: But it ain't crowded.

(
K
AREN,
the secretary, comes in with a tray of coffee
.)

K
AREN
: I'm sorry please, but how do you take your coffee . . . ?

F
OX
: He takes his coffee like he makes his movies: nothing in it.

G
OULD
: Very funny.

F
OX
: ‘Cause he's an Old Whore.

G
OULD
: . . . that's right. . .

F
OX
: Bobby Gould . . .

G
OULD
: . . . Huh . . .

F
OX
: You're just an Old Whore.

G
OULD
: Proud of it. Yes, yes.

F
OX
: They kick you upstairs and you're still just some old whore.

G
OULD
: You're an old whore, too.

F
OX
: I never said I wasn't. Soon to be a
rich
old whore.

G
OULD
: That's right.

F
OX
: And I deserve it.

G
OULD
: That you do, Babe, that you do.

F
OX
: Because, Miss, lemme tell you something, I've been
loyal
to this guy, you know, you know . . .
what's
your name?

K
AREN
: Karen . . .

F
OX
: Karen, lemme tell you: since the
mail
room . . . you know? Step-by-step. Yes, in his shadow, yes, why not. Never forgot him, and he never forgot me.

G
OULD
: That's absolutely right.

F
OX
: You know why I never forgot him?

K
AREN
: . . . I. . .

F
OX
: . . . Because the shit of his I had to eat, how
could
I forget him?

G
OULD
: . . . huh . . .

F
OX
: Yes, but the Wheel Came Around. And here we are. Two Whores. (
To
GOULD
:) You're gonna decorate your office. Make it a bordello. You'll feel more at home.

G
OULD
:
You
, you sonofabitch . . .

F
OX
: . . . and come to work in a soiled nightgown.

G
OULD
: Hey, after the Doug Brown thing, I come to work in that same nightgown, I say “kiss the hem,” then every swinging dick in this man's studio will kiss that hem.

F
OX
: They will.

G
OULD
: They'll
french
that jolly jolly hem.

F
OX
: Uh huh, uh huh . . .
you,
you, you fucken’ whore, on his deathbed, St. Peter'll come for him, his dying words, “Just let me turn One More Trick . . .”

G
OULD
: I'm a whore and I'm proud of it. But I'm a
secure
whore. Yes, and you get
ready
, now: you get ready ‘cause they're going to plot, they're going to plot against you . . . (
To
K
AREN
:) Karen. My friend's stepping up in class . . . (
To
F
OX
:) They're going to plot against you, Charlie, like they plotted against me. They're going to go back in their Tribal Caves and say “Chuck Fox, that
hack . . .”

F
OX
: “That powerful hack . . .”

G
OULD
: Let's go and steal his job . . .

K
AREN
: Sir . . .?

F
OX
: Black, two sugars, thank you.

G
OULD
: To your face they'll go, “Three bags full.” And behind your back they'll say, “let's tear him down—let's tear Charlie Fox down . . .”

F
OX
: Behind my back. Yes, but in Public . . .? They'll say: “I waxed Mr. Fox's car. He seemed pleased.”

K
AREN (
serving coffee
): Black, two sugars.

F
OX
: “I blew his poodle. He gave me a smile.” (
Of coffee
:) Thank you.

G
OULD
: This is Charlie Fox. This is . ..
Karen
. . .

F
OX
: Yes. Good morning.

K
AREN
: Good morning, sir.

G
OULD
: Please put me down. Tomorrow. Richard Ross. His office. Ten
A.M
. Whatever you find in the book, call back and
cancel
it. And leave a note for Cathy, should she be back . . .

K
AREN
: I'm told that she'll be back tomorrow

G
OULD
: . . . draw her attention to our meeting with Ross.

K
AREN
: Yessir.

F
OX
: Karen, as Mr. Gould moves on up the ladder, will you go with him?

K
AREN
: Sir?

F
OX
: When . . .

K
AREN
: I'm just a temporary . . .

G
OULD
: That's right, she's just here for a . . .

F
OX
: Well, would you like stay on, if . . .

G
OULD
: Hey, what are you? The Master of the Revels?

K
AREN
: I'm just, I'm on a temporary . . .

F
OX
: Hey, everything's temporary ‘til it's “not” . ..

K
AREN
: No, this is just a temporary job.

G
OULD
: It's just a temporary job—so leave the girl alone.

F
OX
: Karen: yeah: Karen, this seem like a good place to work?

K
AREN
: Sir?

F
OX
: Call me Charlie. This seem like a good place to work?

K
AREN
: Here?

F
OX
: Mr. Gould's office.

K
AREN
: I'm sure that it is.

F
OX
: She's “sure that it is.” How wonderful to be so sure. How wonderful to have such certainty in this wonderful world. Hey, Bobby. . . ? Your boss tells you “take initiative,” you best guess right—and you
do,
then you get no credit. Day-in, . . . smiling, smiling, just a cog.

G
OULD
: Mr. Fox is talking about his own self.

F
OX
: You
bet
I am. But my historical self, Bob, for I am a cog no more.

G
OULD
: Karen, you come here at an auspicious time.

F
OX
:
Give
this man a witness.

G
OULD
: Because in this sinkhole of slime and depravity, something is about to work out.

F
OX
: . . . singing a song, rolling along.

G
OULD
: . . . and all that garbage that we put up with is going to pay off. (
Pause.
)