Species Interaction (5 page)

She handed me the phone with a stout warning. "You only get one call, so you better find someone who will answer."

I debated for a long moment. Meat would probably be still chasing the bad guy and either not answer his phone or not have it with him. I wasn't sure if Jessica would be home yet or still busy at the shop and unable to answer my call. The brothers were so hit and miss, they could be in a totally different country with their cell phones off. That left me one option.

I dialed the number and prayed.

"Dad! I need your help. You see, I've been arrested and need you to bail me out. Please?" I paused to listen to his question. "What are the charges? Oh, let's see. Insulting an officer, stripping without a license, and public indecency with the intent to prostitute."

I heard a loud thump on the other end.

"Dad? Dad!"

I shot a pleading look to the officer. "I think he fainted."

She shook her head. "You better hope he comes to and soon. That was your one and only phone call."

* * * *

I bit my lip as I shuffled into the jail cell already populated with a variety of ladies, all who looked like they could tear me apart bit by bit if I so much as moved wrong.

Luckily, Dad showed up in a reasonable amount of time for a rescue. Certainly faster than the cavalry of old, but slower than the pizza delivery guy. It couldn't have been a moment too soon. The dark haired chick in the next cell kept staring at me and licking her lips. By the time the rude gestures started, the guard slipped her key in the lock.

Victor's scowl told me exactly how he felt. Not pleased would be an understatement. He forked over the money for bail and signed a couple of papers, while I remained mute, working hard to get my story straight before the questions began rapid fire.

No sooner had we plopped down in the car, than the inquisition began. "First of all, are you okay? And where are your clothes?" He gestured to the scrubs provided by the jail attendant.

"I'm fine. I guess my clothes are still back at the club. My dance outfit wasn't mine to begin with." My chin lowered as I quietly answered, ashamed and embarrassed for my predicament. "You see, Meat asked me to do a favor. He was looking for this Jack guy and needed a distraction."

He sighed heavily and turned the engine over.

"I'm innocent, I swear!"

"Explain." He shifted into gear and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Meat was doing his other job. You know he's a PI, right? Anyway, he needed me to distract this Jack guy so he could catch him."

Dad pinched the bridge of his nose as his face turned a deep shade of red. I closed my mouth and reviewed the steps of CPR just in case.

After a tense silence and a couple of turns, he spoke again. "I'm not sure I want to hear all this right now. I'll take you home. Pack a bag for you and the boys. I believe it will be a good idea for you to spend a few days with Andrew and me until your court date, anyway. That ruffian is responsible for all this. Getting my daughter to strip and arrested. The letch."

"I'm sorry." My heart sagged heavily with sadness and remorse.

As I packed our suitcases for the visit, I made a few phone calls. Cannibal held the first spot. The Neanderthal cackled so hard, I feared he'd choke.
Serves him right to have to take care of himself for a few days.
I called Bas who didn't seem the least bit surprised that I somehow ended up in this mess. Something about "it's never dull." Jessica showed sympathy and support, but I saw her lips twitch a time or two as she helped me and the boys gather clothes for a few days.

Finally, I dialed my boyfriend. He managed to catch his quarry, but when he returned to the dressing rooms, he discovered my clothes and purse, although I wasn't anywhere to be found. He'd been searching since. I relayed what happened, and I could almost see him flinch in response. Unfortunately, I didn't get to talk long as Dad snagged the phone, had a few choice words, told him where we were going, and suggested Meat shouldn't bother to visit.

Considering Dad just bailed me out and I bore some resentment with my boyfriend for dragging me into this whole situation, I didn't argue. Besides, I had a fully charged cell phone and could poof at will. Two aces in my pocket if needed.

Chapter 5

After two days at the large ranch where my father and Andrew resided, my court time finally arrived. Dad pulled some strings to expedite the issue, probably as a noble gesture to save both our sanities and wrap up the whole ugly business pronto.

Not that I was miserable. In fact, the stay turned out more like a vacation. I didn't have to cook all meals and clean up. Chores were shared. Andrew or Dad went horseback riding with me daily. The boys had built-in babysitters galore and thrived from the added attention.

The only thing missing was Meat. I talked to him on the phone a few times, but still missed him horribly.

The bailiff called my case, and I walked slowly to the spot where the accused are grilled. The judge appeared to be fairly young, an average sized, sandy-headed man, probably in his thirties. His gavel sat next to the name plate that read Judge Baker. I figured that could work in my favor as opposed to someone close to retirement. Hopefully, he had a strong heart. Dad warned me earlier I could kill an older judge. Surely, Dad jested. I had enough problems without being accused of murder as well.

A small group of family and friends sat behind me, each there for support. Meat even showed up, although he earned numerous glares from Dad and Andrew. At least he came, looking yummier than ever.

The prosecutor sat across from me, appearing weary and worn, although I guessed her age to be similar to mine. Her clothing held no wrinkles, her hair perfectly combed into a tight bun, but her pinched and exhausted face spoke of a job she thought to leave behind and soon.

"How do you plead?" the judge asked in a bored tone.

I peered up at him, clasping my hands, and schooled my body language to appear less than panicked. "I'm innocent." He spared me a second glance. "Cute and sweet and innocent."

He frowned. "We'll see about that." A couple of papers shuffled as he glanced over my case. "Now, Ms McDaniel, what were you doing at that… establishment on the evening in question?"

The way he paused over what to call the club set my hands to sweating. Silence reigned for a few long seconds before my overstrung nerves broke.
Dang silent treatment.

"I'm really not a stripper, your honor. Honestly, I'm more of a naïve prude."

I swear Judge Baker's eyes crossed. "Ms McDaniel, I asked why you were in such an establishment that night."

Oh, yeah.
I got sidetracked. "Well, my boyfriend asked me to… to help him with his other job."

"Which is?"

"PI, undercover, 007 stuff."

"And his primary job?"

I bit my lip. "Exotic dancer."

The judge leaned forward, his eyebrows furrowing. I quickly explained. "Well, he wanted to catch this guy named Jack the Ripper-Offer. Anyway, I was sorta bait, to distract Jack. You see, my boyfriend gave me lessons and said slutty dancing needed only a couple hours practice not like Baby in
Dirty Dancing
who took a whole week. So I wasn't sure about the stripping part, but Meat, that's his stage name by the way, wouldn't let me wear a nun's habit. I mean, a nun's habit really turns him on, but he didn't think the male customers would enjoy his own fantasy. So, instead, he dressed me in a young school girl uniform. Which seemed more perverted than the nun fetish to me, but I'm not an expert on fetishes, either."

I sucked in a breath. The people behind me twittered and hacked. Unfortunately, when I became nervous, my mouth had a mind of its own. "I started dancing and did you know those men are like a huge pack of hyenas after a fresh kill?" I tilted my head in memory. "Although, they were kind enough to not laugh when I fell off the pole. But I think that had more to do with the way I landed spread-eagled with my skirt over my head. They got a free glimpse of my panties. Luckily they were clean, but how they knew they were little girl panties, I don't know."

Judge Baker cleared his throat and shook his head, watching me intensely. "Then what happened?"

I thought a moment, my loose tongue couldn't seem to stop rambling no matter how hard I tried to rein in my words. "I managed to last the entire song, even though they lengthened it to like thirty minutes and still had on more clothes than some women at the gym. Although, did you know that stage floor was freezing cold? You would think with all those customers and girls with little clothing, they could at afford to turn up the heat."

He interrupted again, reaching up to run a hand through his short hair. "You would think. What about Jack?"

I glanced over my shoulder to my cheering section for support before answering. Andrew had his head bent, obviously trying to collect himself. Dad pinched the bridge of his nose, and found his feet enthralling. Meat gaze met mine then he bobbed his head in encouragement.

"Well, I'm not sure. Meat was doing that part. I was only a distraction to give Meat time to track him down and capture him. But I was trying to go back to his dressing room for my clothes, and Barney here snagged me. Don't you think he looks like a Barney?" I tilted my head toward the policeman in question. "His name badge said Fife too."

Barney glared my direction. I blinked back. "Well, my next thought was he also reminded me of Mr Green Jeans on Captain Kangaroo, but since his name badge said Fife, I stuck with Barney."

A low growl came from the area of Barney. "The name is Fite, not Fife."

"Oh, oops. Sorry." I swear I glimpsed the prosecutor's lip twitch at my boo-boo. At least she appeared a bit more energized and amused than when we first began. "Anyway, he accused me of prostitution and dragged me off to jail. I mean, your honor, how can it be prostitution when I have sex with Meat for free?"

A group coughing spell burst across the room with a few giggles thrown in for good measure. I heard a female voice whisper loudly that she would sleep with Meat for free too. At least one person in the audience seemed to understand.

"And, on that topic, it was amateur night, so I didn't need a license, and those heathens… errrr… police officers wouldn't let me get my own clothes, despite the fact that it was near freezing outside."

The judge's eyes widened at my outburst.

"I bet they were even there on their lunch break taking in the scenery and decided to harass me because my dancing sucked."

"Ms McDaniel, those officers aren't on trial today."

I clamped my mouth shut and waited.

The judge rubbed his forehead and murmured what seemed to be a prayer. Then he stared down at me sternly. "I know I'm going to regret this, but I'll ask it anyway. So you don't get paid for sex?"

I shook my head. "Oh, no sir. Meat takes me out to eat sometimes. And he buys me ice cream. Ice cream and chocolate syrup. The syrup he takes to bed with us…"

Cackles, chuckles, and loud hacks erupted in the room. I looked around then turned my attention back to Judge Baker. His face reddened. The bailiff hunched over, his shoulders shook. I had no idea what that person speaking into the little box said, but she turned scarlet and stuttered. The prosecutor blushed soundly, but a grin crossed her face. In fact, I think her snort masked a giggle.

Judge Baker's head dropped to the desk.

I wracked my brain for other evidence he might need to know. "Oh, well, Meat did take me to the scary store the other day. Did you know they have stuff in there that I couldn't figure out how in the world they worked?"

The judge snorted and spewed as the bailiff lost his battle to stifle his laughter.

I remembered one more detail. "Oh, he also bought me one of those giant penis suckers. Strawberry. Yummy." The audience lost their hard-fought demeanor. The judge's eyes bulged, and I swore he turned a shade of purple that resembled an eggplant. I shifted weight nervously and waited.

Finally, Judge Baker took a deep breath and squeaked out, "Counselors, approach the bench."

Dad's attorney shot me a small smile as he walked past me straight to the judge's desk. He, the weary prosecutor, and the judge talked in whispers for what seemed like an eternity before they broke apart.

"Ms McDaniel?" The judge pulled my attention back to him.

"Yes, your honor?"

He shook his head and sighed. "After some deliberation, the prosecution has decided to drop these charges against you."

I beamed happily.
Thank goodness. I wasn't ready to meet Big Bertha in jail. Nope.

"On one condition."

I nodded and forced myself into a serious expression. "Yes, sir?"

"You straighten up and never appear in my courtroom again."

"Yes, sir. Oh, before I forget. Can you do something about that horrendous TV show that filmed my being arrested? Please?" I gave him my best pleading look.

"Just give the name of the show to the bailiff. I'll order them to destroy their copy."

"Oh, thank you."

The sound of his gavel whapping the wooden block set a smile on my face. Loud laughter carried to my ears from the area of the bench. Sure enough, the bailiff and the judge were chatting and chuckling between themselves. My attorney patted my shoulder while the prosecutor smiled widely in my direction. Joy abounded as I marched down the center aisle a free woman.

Finding Meat first, I leapt into his arms, hugging and kissing him as if he just returned from a decade long mission. Before we could get too carried away or say more than two words, Dad and Andrew dragged me to their car.

Digging my cell phone out of my purse, I punched in Meat's number.

He answered on the first ring.

I hunkered down in the backseat of Dad's Lexus and cuddled into my phone. "I miss you already."

He sighed heavily on the other end. "I miss you too. But you won't believe this."

"What is it?"

"Your father just called me and invited me to the ranch for lunch."

I grinned. "He did? When?"