Soul (6 page)

Once I’ve soothed Gillian, the nurse gives her a dose of pain medication and a sedative, and after a short while, she falls back asleep. Leaving the door open enough that she can see me if she wakes up, I walk over to her friends.

“Ladies, I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Maria’s face contorts from concern to anger instantly. Fits with her fiery Italian-Spanish heritage. I have many people working under me from similar ethnic backgrounds who can also go from cool as a cucumber to red hot in mere seconds. Those are also the most passionate, loyal and dedicated of my employees but also the individuals who give me headaches.

Maria points to the room that Gillian is in. “What. The. Fuck. Was. That.” Her words are a short staccato sound.

I shake my head and let out a breath I’ve been holding. “She’s going through something. It happened earlier when I was going to leave her side. Her psyche seems to be holding on to something that never occurred. It involves me leaving her, or somehow letting her go. I think I just need to work hard to let her know I’m with her. Always. That I’m not going anywhere.”

Kathleen bites her lip and Bree stays still, silently holding onto her protruding belly. Maria on the other hand has absolutely no problems voicing her opinion.

“Nuh-uh. What I saw in there, that was fear. Hard core, absolute misery. She was fine, Chase. We laughed, we cried, we told her how happy we were she was home and it was good. Really good.”

“Then what?” I ask wondering how she went from being with her friends, women she’s known and trusted for years to a terrified, screaming mess.

“We spoke of Bree’s new studio in the Davis Industries building. And then one of us mentioned something about talking to you when you got back and she lost it. Her blood pressure rose, and a full-fledged panic attack overtook her. This was no normal panic attack either.
Escuchar esto,
” she said,
hear this
in Spanish. “I’ve seen Gillian have many panic attacks over the years dealing with the backlash of the Justin situation but nothing like that. What I saw there was a woman who was literally destroyed over the thought that
you
were gone.” She points an accusing finger at my chest.

My shoulders slump, and Kathleen brings me into her arms and hugs me. “It will be okay. She’ll get through this.”

I pull away and look into her brown eyes. Kind. So kind. I know now why Gillian is so taken with her. With all of them. Even though I’m not used to sharing my space, and the desire to lock Gillian away with me for years to come is tempting, I also know these women are good for her. They give her something I cannot. That thought alone sends a sizzle of irritation along every synapse. The three of them, hell even Phillip, love Gillian like a member of their family. They’d do anything for her, and because of that alone, I will make certain all of them are safe. For her.

“That’s a great segue into what I need from the three of you. And Phillip,” my gaze locks onto Bree’s.

“Anything,” Bree says holding my hand. She looks at her two friends and they nod. “Whatever it takes.”

“You know McBride is still out there.” Maria’s hands go into fists at her sides. I gotta admit, I love how protective and physical she can be. “I need all of you to move back into the Davis Mansion.” The three women respond with completely opposite reactions.

Kat shrugs and says okay. Bree groans, slumps her shoulders and nods. Maria’s eyes narrow and a hand comes up to her hip. “Do you really think that’s necessary? I just started connecting with my apartment. The one that has security and a doorman, plus the three of us still have bodyguards.” She points down the hall where three giant men in suits lean against a wall.

“And you’ll keep those men, too, for as long as it takes to find McBride. He’s dangerous. Really dangerous. And now he’s going to be out for blood. All of ours. If anything happens to one of you, Gillian would be devastated. As it is, she’s barely hanging on by a thread.”

“Come on, Maria, what’s another two, three weeks. Tommy’s working with the FBI, and Chase has a horde of personal investigators and bounty hunters on his tail. They’ll catch him really fast, but if this makes Gillian feel better, more at peace so she can heal, we have to be there for her,” Kat says. I couldn’t have given the speech better myself.

Maria rolls her eyes but nods.

I lock my gaze on Bree’s concerned ones. “Bree, please notify Phillip of the plan. I want him and his daughter at the mansion tonight.”

“Okay.” Her eyes go over to Gillian lying peaceful in her bed. “Do you think she’ll be okay?”

I look at the woman I love more than anything, the one I’d give my last breath for. “We’ll make certain of it. Right ladies?”

“All right,
chicas
, let’s go pack our bags.” Maria turns, whistles at her bodyguard. “Hey, hot stuff, let’s hit it.”

I can’t help but chuckle. The woman is incorrigible.

“You know, Tommy’s not going to like you calling your bodyguard ‘hot stuff’,” Bree says as she waves at the Viking six-foot guard I have assigned to her.

Maria lets out a sound that mimics a tire losing air rapidly. “I gotta keep my man on his toes.” She clucks her tongue and sways her hips into a little dance.

Kathleen moves to turn away then faces me once more. “What you’re doing…” She swallows and starts again. “How you love her, it’s special. Beautiful. I’m glad she found you.” Then before I can respond she’s got me in her arms once again. This time I pull her against me and hug her tight. She hums, pulls back and kisses my cheek. “It will all be okay. Very soon. I can feel it.”

“I hope you’re right, Kathleen.”

“You know, you can call me Kat.”

“You’re name is lovely the way it is.”

“Charmer. Now I see how she fell so quickly. It wasn’t the physique, though since I’m bedding a member of your family, I can attest that’s a factor.” I chuckle. “It’s your charm, and your belief that she is meant solely for you.”

I look one of her best friends in the eyes. “I never believed in soul mates until I met her. Now I’m sorry for every schmuck out there who doesn’t find theirs. Do you think you’ve found that in my cousin?”

Kathleen smiles wider and winks before turning on a heel and walking away, question unanswered.

On heavy feet, I make my way back into Gillian’s room. She’s mumbling in her sleep. Every so often she says my name only she doesn’t say it with happiness. It’s said with desperation. Closing the door, I kick off my shoes, remove my pants and pull off my shirt. Then I press the button to bring the bed flat. There’s a chair that turns into a cot near the bed, but I can’t be away from her tonight. Not tonight. She needs to know I’m here for her, even in sleep.

I slip in cautiously. Before I can lie back she’s cuddling into my chest. Medicated sleep doesn’t prevent her body from knowing mine. Soulmates. I meant what I said to Kathleen a bit ago. Meeting Gillian almost a year ago at the hotel bar was like the universe opening up and delivering me a piece of heaven. It’s something I never knew I wanted or needed, but it was there. And I took it and made it mine. I will continue to protect what is mine until my last breath.

Holding her warm body to mine, I close my eyes enjoying the feel of her breath against my chest. Too many days have gone by since we’ve been skin to skin.

She snuffles against my chest and says in the most serene voice yet, “Chase…my Chase.”

I swallow down the emotion needing to be strong for her. The next few weeks, maybe even months are not going to be easy ones. We have absolutely no leads on McBride. The only thing all of the investigators and my men can agree on is that he will strike again. He’s going to come after Gillian or her friends in one way or another. We stole something he believes is his, from
his
property. To a psycho like Daniel McBride, that’s worthy of a death sentence.

Thoughts of him, what he did to her, how he kept her locked up prevent me from easing into sleep. Eventually, I change my thoughts to the wedding we never had and the honeymoon we’re currently missing. Right then and there I make a decision. We will be married and soon. I cannot let a madman keep me or Gillian from something that means more to us than anything else has in our relationship. The moment she’s better, I’m taking her way. Away from it all. Just the two of us.

T
he morning frost
crunches and the spikes of my low heels dig deep into the cold ground as we make our way up the incline. My healing ankles resist, but I tamp down any residual pain; clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth works just fine. I’ve been out of the hospital a week, and it’s been a total of two weeks since our wedding day. The day that never happened.

It’s a sea of black everywhere you look when we arrive at our destination. Hundreds of people stand like a hill of ants waiting to worship their queen, only their queen is dead. Ms. Colleen Davis is being laid to rest today. Chase held off on the services until I was found and out of the hospital. Now, he’s finally dealing with his loss, though I’m not sure dealing with it would be the right term. More like avoiding it completely.

I clutch Chase’s hand and look up at his profile. He’s stoic. Hasn’t smiled or moved a muscle in his sculpted face in the last hour. It’s a cold day when the world isn’t graced with one of his smiles. For a while I got so used to seeing them, it became a welcome permanent fixture in my life. Lately, we’ve all been nothing but frowns. Today is no different.

Solemnly we tread through the group of people. So many stop him with a few kind words, a pat to the shoulder or back, people I’ve never met or seen providing small snippets of comfort in Chase’s time of need. Except me. I have nothing to say. There’s nothing I can say that will ever take away this hurt. Because the woman Chase loves is the reason his mother is dead. The one woman he trusted above all others is gone, and it’s my fault.

I’m a realistic person, I get that I wasn’t the one who murdered Colleen in cold blood, but I was the catalyst for Daniel even being there that day. I watched Chase’s mother take her last breath. As much as that hurts, it’s the topic of what we were fighting about before Daniel entered that bridal room that plagues my every breath. She never believed that I was the right woman for her son. Those thoughts and feelings were the last things she had on this Earth.

I haven’t even been able to talk to Chase about it. How could I? Oh yeah baby, your mom hated my guts, and on our wedding day, she was making it clear how wrong I was for you. Five minutes later, her neck was slit by my ex-boyfriend. Sorry.

I let out a deep sigh and Chase pulls me tighter against his side, leans down and places a warm kiss on my head at the hairline. We’re here to bury his mother and he’s comforting me. Things are so messed up. When we get to the graveside seating area, I see my six favorite people, aside from Chase, all sitting together like my own personal cheering section. Tommy is sitting next Maria, who’s next to Bree, who’s alongside Phil, who’s next to Kat, who’s sitting with Carson. All of our friends are in black, all wearing matching somber expressions. Chase leads me over to them.

Carson gets up first. “Hey man, I-uh...” he clears his throat then tries again. “This has to be hard, after what happened to your girl and all. Carson glances to me then back to Chase. “Aunt Colleen, well, she loved you more than anything in this world. Everyone knew that.” Carson pulls Chase into a man-hug and surprisingly, Chase accepts, though his expression is still set in stone.

Maria clasps Chase’s hand, looks into his eyes and says, “
Voy a rezar por el alma de su madre para estar en paz.
” He nods and gives Ria a tight-lipped smile. I pick up a bit, something about his mother’s soul and rest in her words, but not much else.

Bree stands and her pregnant belly bumps him. Chase reaches out both hands to prevent her from tipping but ends up cradling her bump. He gasps and his eyes get glassy. The first hint of real emotion I’ve seen since the hospital. She covers his hands with her own.

“She likes you, feel her?”

Her.
She said
her.
His eyes sparkle for the first time in what seems like forever. His hand cups a specific spot on her belly, and she presses it close.

“I do feel it. The kick. Your daughter is very strong,” he says, and she nods, sniffing then rubbing her nose on her tissue.

Kat and Bree’s eyes fill with tears that fall prettily down their cheeks. “We found out yesterday but with everything going on”—she looks to both sides and Phil puts an arm around her shoulder comforting her—“with everything, it just didn’t seem important,” Bree finishes.

Maria closes her eyes and shakes her head. Tommy pulls her into his side protectively. I hold a hand over my mouth and stifle a sob. She didn’t feel it was important because of everything that’s happened. My best friend is going to have a baby girl, and instead of shouting it from the rooftops like any one of us would in the same circumstance, she held her tongue and tried to not make a big deal of her news. Doesn’t she know that news like this can heal us? That her baby, the life within her gives us all hope.

“Congratulations, Chase pats her hand and proceeds to shake Phil’s hand and Tommy’s. “Gillian, want to stay with your friends while I check with Dana about the arrangements?”

“Uh, yeah. Okay, if that’s what you want.” He gives another tight smile, the one I’ve seen him use in business meetings when things aren’t going his way. Never with me. I’m not really sure how to take that. Leaving it alone is all I can do right now.

Maria pulls me into a big hug. “Hey girl, how you holding up?” she asks pushing back a lock of my hair that slipped out of the chignon.

I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine. You look…I don’t know, different.”

“Well, we are at a funeral. You know, sad day and all,” I remind her, my tone coming across as a bit bitchy.

She purses her lips. “Have you seen Dr. Madison yet?”

“No,” I stare off into the distance and bite my lip. “I will, soon actually. Couple days from now. Chase is forcing it.”

Her icy eyes turn a warmer blue. “You know as well as I do, that after everything you’ve been through, not seeing a therapist would be
estúpido
. This is not your first rodeo dealing with traumatic experiences.”

“You’re right. It isn’t.” I sigh a long soul cleansing breath. “I don’t know why I’m avoiding it. Regardless, I’m going on Wednesday.”

“Chase too?”

The mere thought of Chase being anywhere I’m not sends a river of panic rushing down my spine. I straighten and look all around trying to spot Chase. Instead I see Megan “The Bitch” O’Brian holding onto Chase’s arm and standing close…really close. “The nerve of that woman,” I growl under my breath. Maria’s head snaps to where I’m looking. Kat and Bree stand and flank my sides both having heard me.

“That the ex? The
puta
?” Ria asks, the words spilling out as if they have been shoved through a meat grinder.

Instead of responding, I just focus my attention on sending a bushel of visual daggers in Megan’s direction. When she pulls Chase into her arms, holds him close, and he doesn’t instantly pull back, I actually sway on my feet. Bree and Kat hold me up.

“Easy there,” Kat says, her voice a comforting whisper.

Maria looks at me, shrugs her man’s hold off her shoulder, and beats feet to Chase and Megan. I can’t move or go after her. I just can’t physically defend myself or my man. It’s like I’m a hollow statue that was once made of solid stone. My insides are so weak I can barely keep the outside from cracking and splitting at the seams with the deluge of emotions pressing against all sides.

I watch in sick fascination as Maria interrupts the lovefest that is my man holding onto his ex-fiancée. She pulls him aside and whispers in his ear. He immediately leaves The Bitch behind and heads in our direction. His eyes are cold, his face as hard as granite. The long black coat he wears flares out making him look like he’s just stepped out of photo shoot for London Fog outerwear. Maria on the other hand doesn’t follow. Looks like my soul sister is having words with the red headed siren. I can barely find the energy to care.

Chase reaches my side and pulls me into his arms. “What’s wrong? Are you unwell?” I clutch his back and drop my face into the crevice at his neck. That woodsy fruity scent that is solely Chase slams against my senses and tears slide down my face. And that’s when the shaking starts. Tremors curl through my body uncontrollably while I hold onto Chase for dear life.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. My fault, my fault, my fault.” I whisper over and over against his neck, my tears soaking the collar of his shirt. He doesn’t seem to be fazed by it. Instead, he just holds me, his own face pressing against my neck, finally taking the comfort I know he needs right now.

“Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for. This is not your fault. That’s the truth.” He pulls back and cups my cheeks in his hands then swipes at my tears with his thumbs. The bruises on my face are almost gone. He leans forward and takes my lips in a soft kiss. “I can taste your fears. It’s lovely that you cry for me, but unwarranted. You are not to blame for what happened to Mother. There’s only one man who needs to come to justice for the crime he committed against my mother, our friends, and you. Please stop punishing yourself. It hurts me to think you’re carrying this weight. Let it go, okay?” His gaze turns grey matching the sky and clouds overhead.

“Okay,” I lie. He can say what he wants, but even though there is a lot of truth to his words, I can’t let go. Daniel would have never touched this family, that girl in the yoga studio, and all those people at the gym, or my best friend Phillip if it wasn’t for me. That’s a lot of collateral damage adding up and each and every instance is digging a bigger hole into my heart where I fear no amount of happiness will be able to fill it again.

Maria comes walking back with pep in her step and a wicked grin. Seeing her with a grin like that means she’s up to something, and it is most definitely bad, illegal, or perhaps both.

I narrow my gaze at her as she cuddles up to Tommy. “Ria, what did you say to her?” I gesture with a head tilt to where the red-head was.

Her eyes widen and she places a hand to her chest. “Who me? Oh, nothing really. I just reminded her that this is a rough time in our friends’ lives and to mind her manners.”

Chase’s eyebrows rise up to his hairline. “Well that was very big of you Ms. De La Torre,” Chase says formally with a hint of jest.

She smiles really widely. Uh-oh. Her tone is saccharine-sweet when she adds, “And then with the same tenderness and compassion she’s given our Gigi in the past, I reminded her that if she ever laid one of her skanky assed fingers on my best friend’s man again, I’d take that finger and break it. Then I’d happily break her face for good measure, so that her face would match her finger so she’d never have to understand what jealousy felt like.”

I look from Maria to Chase completely horrified. Leave it to my best friend to offer a wallop of drama at a graveside. Even if it is one hundred percent justified.

“Oh wow. Karma got evil on her ass,” Bree says under her breath, yet still loud enough for all of us to hear.

“Chase…” I start to try and smooth over the potential disaster this may have caused when he responds in the exact opposite way I would have ever expected. He laughs. Literally drops his head back, put his arms out to the sky and laughs. Loudly.

Eyes from every direction zero in on the hysterics that have overtaken my normally emotionally guarded business tycoon. I scowl at every person until they look away then wait for Chase to come back to himself.

“Fuck, I needed that.” Chase says after a long bout of laugher. So long that people are making a point to look everywhere but at the spectacle our little group has created.

“What?” Maria holds up her arms. “The
puta
deserved it. Besides, it’s not like I hit her.” She grins again. “I wanted to, but I thought that would get me in trouble with one of them.” She points to a section of guys with earpieces, sunglasses, and black suits looking quite menacing. “Or those guys,” she points to another section. “Maybe even them,” again she scans the perimeter, “or perhaps those ones. They look downright jumpy for some action.”

“Chase, that’s a lot of guards.”

“Honey, they think McBride will come today. The announcement of Mother’s service was in the paper this week along with the location so mourners could attend and pay respects. It stands to reason that he’d want to see you again. I can’t take any chances. The FBI even has snipers in the trees watching for activity.”

“You’re kidding.” I search his gaze, and he shakes his head slowly.

“I wish I were.”

When will they ever fucking learn? They think they can keep me from my girl? That the FBI and his rent-a-cops would prevent me from seeing her today. When I saw the announcement in the paper about the rich bitch’s funeral I could barely contain my excitement. Chase being in the hospital every second of the god damned day did not give me the chance to reconnect with my girl. Originally, my plan was to take her from the hospital. Just shoot her full of the tranquilizer again and mosey on out of there with her on a stretcher.

I even had the guy and ambulance picked out. But no, the stupid dick had to screw up my plans. I mean, really, who stays with a woman every second while they are in the hospital? He never left to sleep, or eat, or anything. The couple times they had her sedated that I could see, he had those bitches watching over her. As much as it would have made me bust a nut to take out all three of them at once, the two guards posted at her door and the dick’s presence ruined it.