Soul (16 page)

“Whoa, Dude. Sorry man,” the young man looks at me knowingly while ringing up each test. “Had a few scares myself,” he offers, and I want to punch his backwards hat wearing, pimply face in the teeth, just so he’ll shut the fuck up. I narrow my gaze at him and hand him two hundred dollar bills when the total comes out to one hundred and eighty something. I snatch up the bags and leave without getting a receipt or the change.

“Dude, your change,” the kid yells.

“Keep it,” I growl over my shoulder. Jack has parked directly in front of the store blocking the entrance. He’s already opening my door when I come out. His eyes glance down at the bag full of tests clearly visible through the mostly translucent bags. Fucking cheap bags. His eyes widen and a small smirk appears.

“Not a fucking word.” The words come out as if dipped in acid.

Jack doesn’t care about my overbearing, demonstrative ways. He’s known me far too long to give a shit about ruffling my feathers. “Never. Sir.” he says anyway, a small smile on his lips. Again, the need to punch someone in the face roars through me.

We make it across town to the penthouse. I’m gripping Gillian’s hand so tight she’s caressing the top of my hand, trying to soothe me. When the hell did the tables turn around so that she was comforting me? She hasn’t said anything since the hospital. I’m worried about her, the flashback, the stress of seeing Maria and Kathleen in the hospital and now this.

It’s not as though I don’t want to have children. I do. Ever since she put the idea in my head all those months ago, I’d wanted to see her bloom with my child growing inside her, but I’d rather have it be during a time where we can both focus on growing our family and nothing else. A time like this should be about us and our desire to have a child. Not about the psychotic madman who’s after her and the people she loves, while dealing with a prospective progeny.

When we arrive at the top floor of Davis Industries, Jack does a cursory sweep and then we enter. I walk her straight back to our master bathroom and dump out the contents of the two bags.

“Okay. I got one of everything.”

“Chase seriously? One would do.”

I shake my head. “False positives. We need to be sure.”

She blinks up at me and then nods. I can’t place where her emotions are right now. She’s definitely solemn yet not giving anything to let me know how she feels otherwise. This has to be a hit to her psyche. I wonder if I should call Dr. Madison. Have him come here, talk with us once we know. Either way, she’s going to need to work through this. I just hope she can do most of that with me. I want to be the one who can soothe her, bring her back to the happy, beautiful self I know that’s hiding under all that pain. The woman who was carefree in Ireland. Right then, I promise to take her back there, to put that smile on her face once more.

I pull out the first three tests in the bag, rip open each package and dump them on the counter. “You need some water?”

She nods, so I fill the glass by her vanity and hand it to her. Like the appeasing woman she can easily turn into, she downs it all. I hand her three sticks. “Think you can urinate on all of them at once?”

That question gets me a grin. A full-fledged, knock-down, drag-out, beautiful one. “Do you like sex?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course I do.” I stumble over the answer and this time she smiles wide, all hints of fear and nervousness leave her.

“Then don’t ask me stupid questions, and I won’t ask you stupid questions.”

I chuckle. “She jokes.” I grip her outstretched arm, pull her close, and kiss her with everything I have in me. The fear, the anticipation, and all the love I have for her. I pour it into that one kiss so she knows, can
feel
what I am incapable of telling her. That no matter what happens, we’re together, and we can take anything on. That I love her and will love our child if that’s what’s meant to be for us.

She pulls back and her eyes are glazed, brimming with love and lust even now during this tense time. “Christ, I love you,” I growl into her face and then take her lips again.

Breathless, she pulls back. “It’s a good thing because I love you right back,” she says with a wink then takes the three tests and enters the little cove.

While she’s in there I grab a shoebox from our closet and dump out the new Louis Vuitton’s Dana must have purchased for Gillian. My girl rarely shops and when she does, it’s always bargain basement. That little reminder of what we used to be puts a smile on my face as I bring the empty box to her. She opens the door with the three tests in her hand.

“Put them in the box.” She does and I set it on the counter, grab her hand then bring her to our bed. As she stands there, I unbutton her shirt and push it off her shoulders.

One of her eyebrows rises into an arch toward her hairline. “What are you doing?” she asks.

“Need to feel your skin.” I say and she nods standing there in pants and a camisole. With one hand I pull my shirt over my head. Then I remove her pants leaving her in her tiny shirt and panties then remove my own so I’m in only boxers. Grabbing her hand in one of mine, and pulling back the comforter with the other, I lead her into our bed.

We face each other, our bodies touching everywhere…and we wait.

“Are you scared?” her voice shakes a bit but she lets it out with a slow breath.

“Yes,” I answer instantly. “But not for the reasons you think.”

She licks her lips and pushes a lock of my hair off my forehead. She’s done it a million times before, but somehow, now, it means more. I close my eyes and just feel her touch. It’s like a balm over the jagged edges of my psyche. “Tell me,” she pushes.

“I’m scared that he’ll get to you and possibly our baby.” I admit the fear needling against my chest making my heart pound. I put a hand over her stomach. “If my baby is in there, it’s my job to protect it and its mother. I haven’t done a very good job of protecting you and the thought of not being able to protect our child guts me.”

Tears fill her eyes and she kisses me. “Chase,” she whispers against my lips. “You’re the only one who can protect me. Keep our baby safe. Don’t you know that?”

I groan, roll on top of her and settle between her thighs. She holds me close, arms wrapped around my back. We hug, for a couple long minutes until my phone alarm goes off in the bathroom. “That’s the buzzer for the tests.” She gasps and cuddles me close. For a moment we just hold one another while the annoying beep goes on and on. “Okay, I’m going to get it.” She nods.

Entering the bathroom feels like I’m walking into a flame. This moment could change our lives forever. I grab the box and the paperwork that came with the tests without looking down. I want us to do this together. Everything together.

I settle the box directly between us as we both sit Indian style on our bed. “Okay, you want to look first or together?”

Her eyes are so green and filled with so much fear; I lean forward and kiss her. She holds my jaw and kisses me back with a fierce possession I haven’t felt since our wedding night in Ireland. Finally, she pulls back. “You read them to me.” She sits back and clasps her hands in her lap.

I nod then look down into the box at the first one. “Two lines?” I look up at her and her eyebrows come together in confusion and she grabs at the papers. “What the fuck does that mean? Two lines for yes, two lines for no.” She shakes her head and moves to grab for the papers.

“Read another one,” she says.

“One side is a line, the other a plus symbol. What the fuck?” I look up hoping she’ll know what that means and she shakes her head skimming the materials. “Christ!” How can this be so God damned difficult?

“What’s the last one say?” she blows out a breath, her red hair moving with the effort as she pours over the three different papers.

I look down and stop cold. The last one is mechanical and definitive. There is absolutely no guesswork needed, no searching through the paperwork to understand the symbolism of one line, versus two, a minus or a plus symbol.

“Um Gillian, baby,” I hold up the test. Her eyes zero in on the words that I’m staring at. Her hands come to her mouth on a gasp.

The little test has a grey screen with dark, bold, black writing. The text is clear as day as the indicator clearly says the exact word we needed to see to be certain.

I
t’s
as if the little screen starts flashing.
Pregnant! Pregnant! Pregnant!

I open my mouth to say something but words fail me. Chase gets up and starts pacing the room. His hands tunnel into those dark locks and yank on the roots. He really needs to stop doing that. He’s going to end up bald if he doesn’t. For now though, the situation warrants an extreme response, and while I can’t come up with a thing to say, I’ll allow him his own freak-out. I watch as he walks from one side of the room to the other, back and forth. On the tenth cut across the plush carpet, he stops and looks up to the sky on a sigh.

I can’t help but enjoy the view. My husband’s body is magnificent, golden skin, tapered waist, muscles everywhere they’re supposed to be on a twenty-nine year old man. A man who’s about to become a father.

A mother. I’m going to be someone’s mother. I lay a hand over my stomach protectively while looking down. I caress the skin that’s there, hoping that my baby feels the unconditional love I’m sending.

As I’m bonding with the idea that I have a baby growing inside of me, I feel the bed dip. Chase crawls over to me and lies on his stomach. His head is uber close to my stomach when he looks up. “Can you feel it? I mean, our baby?” The question is so innocent, so unlike the demanding, business tycoon I met almost a year ago. Chase is so different now than he was then. All that’s happened to us, the stalker, the abduction, his mother’s death, our eloping, and now this and he’s still here, worrying about me.

“No,” I smile softly and lick my lips. “But I imagine him there, growing, a testament to our love. That’s what he is.”

“He?” Chase’s eyes turn up to mine, his question laced with hope. I shrug noncommittally. In my mind, Chase is so powerful, his swimmers must be, too. So yes, I think our baby is a he. Another perfect specimen of mankind made to drive women of the world absolutely insane.

“Chase…” I swallow not knowing how to ask this question, not wanting to but knowing I need to know where he’s at with this. I can’t go one more minute knowing I’m going to be a mother with the thought that I’ll have to do it alone. Abortion is not an option, never would have been when Justin took motherhood away from me all those years ago either.

My husband pulls my hand away from my stomach. He grips my hips and pushes my legs out so they are caging his body. I allow the movement not knowing what he’s doing but appreciating him close anyway. Once he gets my legs spread and his body lying on top of me, he scoots my body down, my head falling to the pillow. He has his face hovering over my stomach, so close I can feel the warmth of his breath. He leans forward, pushes up my camisole and kisses every inch of my belly. Every single last inch he presses his lips to and holds for long seconds. It’s as if he’s making sure that with every press he’s giving his love.

“Mine.” He growls while covering my entire stomach and pelvis with his two large hands. Tears fall before I ever realize I’m crying. I don’t have to ask him how he feels. Of course, I know instinctively his reaction. It’s Chase. When it comes to me, our future, our child, he’s going to be possessive. Dangerously so. He looks up at me, his eyes a steel blue the kind that would normally issue fear in the person they are directed at. But not me. I know him too well. He’s just feeling too much, too quickly and when he does, especially when it involves me…he loses his shit.

I stay quiet while he connects with this idea of being a father, and I let him finish whatever he needs to say or do to make this reality sink in. Chase leans his head down to my stomach and listens. To what, I don’t know. The fetus couldn’t be more than the size of a lima bean. I can feel his body tense all around me, his hands cupping where the baby is nestled safely within my womb. “This is
my
child. No man, no woman, no one, will
ever
lay a harsh finger to our baby. I will protect you and our child with my life. Know that, Gillian.”

“Chase, baby, I do know that. I know you will never hurt me or our child. Daddy,” I say to lighten the thick pressure of the mood he’s in. His lips turn up and he grins.

“Holy fuck. I’m going to be someone’s daddy. And you’re going to be a mommy!” He tosses back and I giggle and nod.

“Looks like it.”

“We’re going to need to get you into the doctor right away. I’ll call Dana after.”

I narrow my brows and purse my lips. “After what?”

“After I fuck my pregnant wife,” he says deadpan.

“Is that right?” I say with as much sex appeal as I can muster.

“Oh, I’m going to show you what’s right. And that’s me, balls deep inside that perfect pussy,” he growls.

Jesus. There are so many layers to this man I can hardly keep track. One moment he sounds angry, the next possessive, and now, horny. And his words, they seem to smooth along my skin like silk and wrap around my libido making me insanely needy for him.

“Does the idea of taking a pregnant lady turn you on?” I say, stretching out my limbs above my head, pointing my toes and moaning at the way the muscles bend and stretch, relieving two days’ worth of tension.

I’m so happy to be back in our bed after all the travel, the nightmare of dealing with two more of my friends hurt, falling asleep at Maria’s bedside, and our Kathleen still not out of the woods. I know there’s nothing we can do for either of them tonight; tomorrow, that’s another day of sticking to the hospital, spreading love and praying for Kat to be okay.

Chase’s lips come down to my clavicle where he licks a slippery line. Instead of lifting the shirt off my head he pushes the straps down my shoulders eager to get to more skin. “Everything about you turns me on,” Chase says. “Your pearlescent skin,” he licks a line down between my breasts pushing the shirt as he goes. I’m not wearing a bra because it could rub against my tattoo so when he pushes it over the swells my breasts pop free. Instantly he takes one into his warm mouth. He swirls his tongue around the tight knot of flesh, biting enticingly into the erect tip, sending ripples through my body and making me wet.

I moan as he sucks hard. “I love how your pretty pink nipples get dark, turning into ripe berries when I suck on them. He proves his point by squeezing the round globes, pushing as much of my breast into his mouth as possible and biting down. My back arches instinctively and my hands fist into his hair, holding him close, giving myself to his ministrations. He takes it, plucking and ripening each nipple until they are hot points of need. He grabs my camisole and slowly pulls it over my tattoo, then my shoulders, and over my head where he tosses it aside.

Chase’s gaze zeros in on my tattoo. With a feather light touch he traces the area then kisses it. It’s still scabbing over but it doesn’t really hurt. “I love seeing this on your skin, baby. Knowing it’s for me.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know that I’ll ever be worthy of you, but I’m going to spend my life trying.”

I cup both his cheeks. “You’re more than worthy. Chase, you’re my world. You, me, and now this baby. We’re a family. A
real
family. You’ve given me something no one else could give me. Don’t you see that?”

After that, all words are unnecessary because Chase makes it so, keeping my mouth busy on his. He kisses me with his whole being and I feel it down to my toes where they curl at each swipe of his tongue. The minty taste of him calls to me. Speaks to a place deep inside where a woman knows her mate instinctively.

Kiss after drugging kiss, Chase and I reconnect. Find that togetherness we had in Ireland and bring it into this bed in our home. Chase’s lips tear from mine as his hands slide over my thighs. “Need to be inside my wife.”

He doesn’t even take the time to remove my panties just rips them at the side so they’re out of the way. Chase holds my legs open wide, staring down at my arousal-slickened sex like he’s ravenous, not sure whether he wants to put his mouth on me or plunge in. It’s a difficult decision, I know, for I’m ready for either one, equally desiring both.

Ultimately, he ends up with his eyes on the prize. Lightning quick, his face is between my thighs, hovering over my center. He inhales fully. “Christ, that smell. There’s nothing like the scent of your desire, baby. Makes my mouth water.” He proves this by pushing my thighs wider and licking me from bottom to top, groaning in pleasure. Then he places his lips over my aching heat and sucks me hard, his thumbs keeping me open, his index fingers spinning circles around my clit so perfectly I skyrocket into orgasm. My body convulses against his working mouth, his tongue delving in and out of me. The sounds he’s making are primal, lost to the moment, and I love every second of being the focus of his attention.

Once he licks every inch his eyes come to mine. His face is coated in my essence as he drags his tongue all over his wet lips as if wanting to get every last drop of my pleasure. Those beautiful blue eyes of his are hot. “Will it hurt the baby to fuck you hard?” he asks, holding my thighs open at the knees.

I shake my head. “No. Baby is well protected and very, very small.”

Chase’s nostrils flare, and he pushes his boxers down, his dick is huge, thick and straining. The wide knob at the top weeps at the slit, and I moan, wanting nothing more than to lick it off, taste his desire for me.

“Let me have a taste,” I beg locking eyes with him. His eyes are swirling with heat.

“You want a taste of my cock.”

I grin. “I want a taste of
my
cock.” I bite down on my bottom lip and lift my chin.

Chase’s smile is predatory and his eyes gleaming. His hand comes down and cups my entire center. “This pussy mine?”

I nod. “Always has been.”

“Always fucking will be,” he grates, pushing the heel of his palm into my clit, at the same time, plunging two fingers deep.

My head falls back to the pillow on a moan. I move my head from side to side while swirling my hips wanting more of him. I can’t handle it. When he’s touching me, he owns me, and the smug bastard knows it.

He removes his hand and straddles the top of the bed at my chest. “Put your mouth on my cock, wife.” Chase is going to use that word until I detest hearing it, I just know it. But this time, it makes me fucking hot, and a fresh bout of moisture slickens my thighs.

I lick the tip of his dick and give it a welcoming kiss. He places a hand at the headboard balancing himself above me. His head falls down to his chest, and he closes his eyes. Even though he’s kneeling over me, I know it’s me who owns him right now. His dick hovers over my lips so I rub them all over, painting a wet trail down the side of his length and back up.

“You’re teasing me,” he warns, his voice strained just the way I like it.

I place my lips just at the crown and lick a circle around the top before taking just the head in and give it a good hard suck. Chase trembles and thrust his hips, wanting me to take him further, but I pull back, preferring to tease. He groans and cups my jaw with his hand, his thumb pushing my bottom lip down opening my mouth wide. “You’re going to take it down your throat baby, then I’m going to plunge so deep into your pussy you’ll forget where you end and I begin.”

Now that sounds pretty fucking amazing. I nod and he pushes his way down my throat.

Tight. So fucking tight.

Wet. So fucking wet.

Her perfect lips stretch wide over my cock as I push my way into her mouth, until I reach that muscle and press past it. She swallows like the goddess she is, and I grind my teeth, enjoying the feeling of being all the way down her throat, feeling the puffs of air from her nose against my groin. Her eyes go wide, and I can tell she needs air so I pull back fast. She doesn’t miss a beat, sucking in a breath and pulling me back down, deep throating me like a professional. My girl, my wife, loves my cock, and the sweet woman has very little gag reflex. It’s official; I married the perfect woman.

And now, she’s going to have my baby.

Christ! That thought makes me painfully hard. Knowing she’s got my child in her, growing something I planted inside of her, a piece of me. Stone. My dick is so rock hard I could chisel marble with it.

I pull out of her succulent mouth but only because I know that her pussy is going to be just as hot and just as wet. She mewls in protest.

“Hungry for cock, baby?” She moans, widening her legs, offering me entrance into the promised land.

Maneuvering her legs high and wide, I center my dick at her sopping entrance. I stir my hips, rubbing my cock all over her wet pussy, paying extra attention to rubbing against her little, cherry clit that’s peeking out of its hiding place. I’d like to run my tongue all over that hardened bud, but right now, we both need to be one. Joined.

I plunge into her heat, and she clamps down on my cock making her deliciously tight cavern even more so with the effort of her muscles. “Fuck me! So good.” I pull out and thrust back in. She moans, her hands coming to my biceps where her nails dig in. Repositioning us, I pull her legs wide and push them up to her armpits. “This okay?” I groan, the top of my dick pressing into that spot within her that makes her stupid.