Sordid (24 page)

“What do you need?” he asked. He was a vicious cat, sadistically playing with the mouse he’d caught. He’d toy with his prey before devouring it. “Ask me.”

I sighed while he continued his torment. Was it possible to die from anticipation? How the hell was I supposed to ask him to kiss me, and why? Luka was a taker. He’d get whatever he wanted, use me up, and discard me when he was done. He wasn’t bothered with right or wrong, and certainly didn’t care what I thought.

“Are you shaking because you’re cold?” His tone was rhetorical. We both knew I wasn’t. The fire had warmed the room, and there was plenty of heat between us.

It felt a little like dying, or at least sacrificing a limb to save the body. I was surrendering more control, and soon I’d have nothing left. I stared into his intense eyes, and my voice was a whisper. “Kiss me.”

“Louder.”

My chest expanded as I pulled in an enormous breath. “Kiss me.”

He obliterated everything. His mouth moved urgently against mine, and then his tongue got involved. Powerful, sure arms swept me up and dropped me down with a thump on the end of the desk. He didn’t even stop kissing me as I heard the sharp snap of his fingers. There was no hesitation this time as I pried my knees apart and welcomed him to step between them. I curled my hands beneath the cotton of his t-shirt, finding his skin burning hot.

We were wild, thrashing against each other.

His kiss turned up to a new level of aggression, and I moaned with a hint of pain as he bit down on my bottom lip. I scored my nails down his chest, but it only caused him to escalate. A heartbeat later, his hand was wrapped tightly around my throat.

“Was this the plan?” I asked. “Making me ask you to kiss me?”

“No.” His wet tongue traced the edge of my ear. “I just wanted it, and now I can’t seem to stop kissing you.”

He felt out of control?
Yeah, Luka. I know exactly how that feels.

I was panting when he abruptly stepped back and pulled me to my unsteady feet. “It’s a thousand degrees in this office.”

I fell into his arms, letting him support me. “Is that you telling me to take off my clothes?” It was a half-joke, half-truth.

His gaze flitted downward and his eyes went hazy with lust, but he blinked it back. “No. We have other shit to do. Come on.”

Dinner was served in the kitchen, thankfully not in the dining room. I shuddered when we walked past the long table where Luka had spanked my bare bottom in front of everyone. I had a purple-yellow bruise from it—I’d seen it in the mirror after my shower this morning.

He poured us each a glass of red wine to go along with our filet mignon.

“Your parents will be calling you soon,” he said, “so we need to discuss the rules.”

I’d been turning the base of the wine glass, but paused. “They’ll be calling? How do you know that?”

His expression stayed flat, giving nothing away. “You’ll put the call on speaker, so I can hear everything said.” The table groaned as he leaned his elbows on it. “You can tell them you’ve met someone, but you don’t give them my name. If you try to ask for help, or get them involved in any way, I’ll revoke your privileges. That means you go back to naked and chained to the bed.”

It reminded me how tired I was from last night, both physically and mentally. I leaned forward on my elbows as well. “I’m not going to try to escape, for my safety and theirs.” The words burned as fire in my throat. “You and your father made it perfectly clear what the consequences are if I disobey.”

He winced. Luka
actually winced
at how I’d lumped him together with his father. “I didn’t want that to happen.”

“Which part? Where you humiliated me, or where my life was threatened?”

He scowled. “All of it.”

“Why? You don’t give a damn about—”

He slammed his fist loudly against the tabletop and the place settings jumped. Wine sloshed in my glass, and I clamped a hand over my lips to mute my sound of surprise.

“I don’t, huh?” he demanded. “You have no idea what I fucking gave up for you.”

What the hell was he talking about? “Oh? Okay, then tell me.”

“No.”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “You get how trust works, right? That it’s a two-way street?”

He exhaled loudly and his eyes turned stormy. “I don’t want the life my father lives. I worked hard and earned my degree, and then I did it all over again for my master’s.” Luka glanced away and grumbled under his breath. “Not that my father doesn’t work hard. He has to, to stay ahead of the Russians.”

Part of me wanted to dig into his statement, but I was smart enough not to ask. It was doubtful he’d tell me what kind of business his family was really in, and it was probably better if I just assumed the worst. I didn’t need the dirty details, so instead I evaluated his words critically. Was he saying he didn’t want to be a part of the organized crime his father was involved in?

“I’ve been upfront with him,” he continued. “Vasilije’s like my father, and he’s fucking eager to help out with that side of the Markovic
business
.” Luka’s voice dripped with disdain.

There was a long pause, prompting me. “So you’re trying to protect Vasilije?”

Luka gave a short, ironic laugh. “No, if he wants to get into that shit, he will. My brother’s an asshole. Just like my father, remember?” He took a quick sip of his wine. “When Vasilije got busted, it was for weed. It mellows Vasilije out and, seriously, that’s a good thing. Most of the time he’s a psychotic. He’s a perfect fit to step up.”

I failed to understand. “Then, what’s the issue?”

“All that money needs to be kept track of. Why have an outsider cook the books when I can keep all our dirty secrets within the family?”

The realization washed through me and a sharp pang stabbed inward as I thought about Luka’s situation. “You got your degree to try to escape, and instead it made you more valuable to your father.”

He shook his head. “To my uncle. He’s the one my father answers to. I’ve been working legit for them up until now.”

My heart hurried along with concern. “Until now? What changed?”

“My father has leverage.”

I gripped the edge of the table, knowing the truth already, but I needed to hear him confirm it. “I’m the leverage.”

His dark eyes were empty, and for the first time, I noticed the faint lines at the corners. He was hiding the emotion locked inside him. He spoke softly, almost as if defending himself. “I had to make a deal.”

Which had been to save my life, I was sure of it. He was trapped just as much as I was. “Why’d you do it?”

His lips turned down into a scowl, and he glared my direction. “He was going to have you killed.”

“I understand, but I’m asking
why
you
made the deal. He wasn’t threatening your life.”

There was no label to put to the emotion on his face, but it made my heart ache. While I tried to figure it out, the expression faded and returned to his emotionless mask. “I agreed to it because of what I did to you. I was the one who made the mistake. You shouldn’t have to pay for it with your life.”

He’d punched the air clean from my lungs. His admission was stunning, and it was an apology, not in words, but in actions.

“Christ,” he groaned, smoothing a hand back over his hair. “I’m not any good at this shit, Addison. I don’t think you understand how badly I wanted you. I’ve had you, and I
still
want you.” His words made me feel weightless. “Every time I touch you, I just want more.”

I blinked in disbelief, at a total loss.

“Say something,” he demanded. His chest rose and fell with his hurried breathing.

My voice was uneven. “What do you want me to say?”

“Tell me you feel it, too.”

My guts twisted inside, and I banded my arms tight around myself. He’d raped me. He was holding me here against my will. And yet, I
felt
it. “I . . .” He’d said no lies, and I was already in over my head. I was sick. The last, tiny hold on my control slipped from my grasp. “I feel it.”

He was capable of expressing relief. His face softened as my words fell on him, and the smile spread across his lips like wildfire. God, he could be so beautiful when he wanted to. Like any event you waited for with excited anticipation, the smile was over much too quickly.

I wasn’t sure exactly how it happened. He didn’t give me a command, at least not verbally, but I sensed what he wanted. I’d admitted it, so it was too late for me to save myself. I stood from my chair, stalked around the edge of the table, and stepped into his waiting arms. I was pulled down into his lap.

As we were kissing, I was aware I was the dumbest girl in the world to let it happen. I’d already allowed him in my mind and my body—how long would it be before I allowed him in my heart?

His lips roved over mine and his tongue slipped into my mouth. I gripped his face, holding on against his dominating, yet needy kiss. I was spinning, drunk off of him.

“I’m gonna fuck you on this kitchen table.”

I closed my eyes and imagined it. I’d be sprawled out beside our half-eaten dinners with him thrusting powerfully between my legs. I grew damp, and my pulse kicked. “Okay.”

Aggression flickered in his eyes as he stood, dumping me on my feet. “I wasn’t asking permission.”

He put a hand on my shoulder and shoved me to sit on the tabletop, causing it to groan in protest. I expected him to have me flat on my back, or order me to take off my clothes, but he grabbed his glass of wine and drank while he stood casually between my legs. His gaze didn’t deviate from mine, though. His free hand found my knee and rested there, his palm warm.

“You feel that?” he asked as his hand squeezed. “My goddamn hand is aching for more. It wants to be on your tits. Touching your pussy. Inside you.”

Maybe my wine was drugged. There wasn’t any other reason why I suddenly felt so brave, despite the tremble in my core. I put my hands flat against the tabletop, leaned back, and spread my legs wider. I was signifying he had full access and could do whatever he wanted. There were warning alarms screaming in my head, but I willingly ignored them.

My gesture of submission had quite the impact on Luka. His hand tensed on my leg and he seemed to stop breathing. It was nice to catch him off guard and know I had such an effect on him, but I didn’t get to enjoy it for long. His wine glass was set down with a quiet thud. One hand slid around my back while the other cupped the side of my neck, and his lips captured mine.

His kiss was mean and delicious. I sighed softly and tried to scoot my body closer—

My
cellphone rang, interrupting us. I froze. He’d been carrying my cell all day? Luka dug my phone out of his back pocket and handed it to me. Sure enough, the screen announced it was my mother. My heart was pounding, and it was impossible to switch gears so rapidly. To come down off of the high of him.

He stared at me expectantly, and I dry swallowed.

“Hey, Mom,” I said after answering it. “Hold on, I need to put you on speaker.” I tapped the screen.

“—
father’s on the line, too.” Her voice blared from the phone. “Addie, are you there?”

“I’m here,” I said. “What’s going on?”

Luka took the phone from me, placed it on the table, and his hands trapped my hips, sliding me to the edge. It fitted me against him and his arousal pressed against mine, both of us held back by clothes.

My mother’s voice was bursting with energy. “We got some exciting news today!”

“Well, really, Jonathon did,” my dad interrupted.

Since they couldn’t see me, I made a face. All of our conversations lately seemed to revolve around my brother.

Faint amusement flashed through Luka, but it was overpowered quickly with lust. He ground himself against the seam of my legs, and his hands burrowed under my sweater. My mouth dropped open. It felt good, but I didn’t want my parents to hear what he was doing, and my voice tightened with nerves. “Yeah? Did he get another scholarship?”

My mom giggled. “No, he won a car!”

Suspicion corded my muscles into knots, making me stay perfectly still as Luka’s fingers followed the curve of my breast above the edge of my bra. My body wanted to focus on his touch, but my mind was pulled elsewhere. “What?”