Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic 5-Book Bundle (36 page)

“I … that’s right,” I say, and force a smile. “It’s just a question of facing up to it.”

I’m trying desperately to stay cool and professional—but all the bits of my life I’d so carefully buried are starting to worm their way out again. Here they come, wriggling into my mind, one piece of dreadful reality after another.

“Well,” says Rory. “Let’s all hope Fran takes Rebecca’s very good advice.”

My bank account. Thousands of pounds of debt
.

“We’re out of time, I’m afraid,” says Emma, “but before we go, do you have any last words of advice, Rebecca?”

My VISA card, canceled. My Octagon card, confiscated in front of that whole crowd. God, that was humiliating
.

OK, stop it. Concentrate. Concentrate.

“Yes,” I say, forcing a confident tone. “I would just say … in the same way you might have a medical checkup once a year, do the same with your finances. Don’t ignore them until they become a problem!”

My whole terrible, disorganized life
. It’s all there, isn’t it? Waiting for me, like a great big spider. Just waiting to pounce, as soon as this phone-in ends.

“Wise words from our financial expert,” says Emma. “Many thanks to Rebecca Bloomwood, and I’m sure we’ll all be heeding her advice. Coming up after the break, the results of our makeover in Newcastle and Heaven Sent 7, live in the studio.”

There’s a frozen pause, then everyone relaxes.

“Right,” says Emma, consulting her piece of paper. “Where are we next?”

“Good work, Rebecca,” says Rory cheerfully. “Excellent stuff.”

“Oh, Zelda!” says Emma, leaping up. “Could I have a quick word? That was fab, Rebecca,” she adds. “Really fab.”

And suddenly they’re both gone. And I’m left alone on the set, exposed and vulnerable. Rebecca Bloomwood, top financial expert, has vanished. All that’s left is me, Becky. Shrinking on my seat and frantically trying to avoid Derek Smeath’s eye.

I don’t have anything to give him. The money from
The Daily World
has got to go straight to Suze. I’m in as much trouble as I ever was. What am I going to do?

Maybe I could slip out at the back.

Maybe I could stick it out here on the sofa. Just sit here until he gets bored and leaves. I mean, he won’t dare to come onto the actual set, will he? Or maybe I could
pretend to be someone else
. God yes. I mean, with all this makeup on, I practically look like someone else, anyway. I could just walk quickly past, and if he talks to me, answer in a foreign accent. Or else …

And then suddenly I stop, midtrack. It’s as though I’m hearing my own thoughts for the first time in my life. And what I hear makes me ashamed of myself.

Who do I think I’m kidding? What exactly will I achieve by dodging Derek Smeath one more time? It’s time to grow up, Becky, I tell myself. It’s time to stop running away. If Fran from Shrewsbury can do it, then so can Rebecca from London.

I stand up, take a deep breath, and walk slowly across the set to Derek Smeath.

“Hello, Mr. Smeath,” I say in polite, calm tones. “What a coincidence to see you here.” I hold out my hand for a symbolic, peacemaking handshake, but Derek Smeath doesn’t even seem to see it. He’s staring at me as though he’s seen a goldfish begin to talk.

“Coincidence?”
he echoes at last, and a technician gestures to us to keep our voices down. Derek Smeath firmly ushers me out of the studio into a foyer area and turns to face me, and I feel a twinge of fear at his expression.

“Miss Bloomwood,” he says. “Miss Bloomwood—” He rubs
his face with his hand, then looks up. “Do you know quite how long I have been writing letters to you? Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get you into the bank for a meeting?”

“Ahm … I’m not quite—”

“Six months,” says Derek Smeath, and pauses. “Six long months of excuses and prevarication. Now, I’d just like you to think about what that means for me. It means endless letters. Numerous phone calls. Hours of time and effort on my part and that of my assistant, Erica. Resources which, quite frankly, could be better spent elsewhere.” He gestures sharply with his polystyrene cup and some coffee slops onto the floor. “Then finally I pin you down to a cast-iron appointment. Finally I think you’re taking your situation seriously … And you don’t turn up. You disappear completely. I telephone your home to find out where you are, and get accused most unpleasantly of being some kind of stalker!”

“Oh yes,” I say, and pull an apologetic face. “Sorry about that. It’s just my dad, you know. He’s a bit weird.”

“I’d all but given up on you,” says Derek Smeath, his voice rising. “I’d all but given up. And then I’m passing a television shop this morning, and what should I see, on six different screens, but the missing, vanished Rebecca Bloomwood, advising the nation. And what are you advising them on?” He begins to shake with laughter. (At least, I think it’s laughter.) “Finance!
You
are advising the British public … on finance!”

I stare at him, taken aback. It’s not
that
funny.

“Look, I’m very sorry I couldn’t make the last meeting,” I say, trying to sound businesslike. “Things were a bit difficult for me at that time. But if we could reschedule …”

“Reschedule!” cries Derek Smeath, as though I’ve just cracked a hysterical joke. “Reschedule!”

I gaze at him indignantly. He’s not taking me seriously at all, is he? He hasn’t shaken my hand, and he’s not even listening to what I’m saying. I’m telling him I want to come in for a meeting—I actually
want
to—and he’s just treating me like a joke.

And no wonder
, interrupts a tiny voice inside me.
Look at the way you’ve behaved. Look at the way you’ve treated him. Frankly, it’s a wonder he’s being civil to you at all
.

I look up at his face, still crinkled in laughter … and suddenly feel very chastened.

Because the truth is, he could have been a lot nastier to me than he has been. He could have taken my card away a long time ago. Or sent the bailiffs round. Or had me blacklisted. He’s actually been very nice to me, one way or another, and all I’ve done is lie and wriggle and run away.

“Listen,” I say quickly. “Please. Give me another chance. I really want to sort my finances out. I want to repay my overdraft. But I need you to help me. I’m …” I swallow. “I’m asking you to help me, Mr. Smeath.”

There’s a long pause. Derek Smeath looks around for a place to put his coffee cup, takes a white handkerchief out of his pocket, and rubs his brow with it. Then he puts it away and gives me a long look.

“You’re serious,” he says at last.

“Yes.”

“You’ll really make an effort?”

“Yes. And—” I bite my lip. “And I’m very grateful for all the allowances you’ve made for me. I really am.”

Suddenly I feel almost tearful. I want to be good. I want to get my life in order. I want him to tell me what to do to make things right.

“All right,” says Derek Smeath at last. “Let’s see what we can sort out. You come into the office tomorrow, nine-thirty sharp, and we’ll have a little chat.”

“Thanks,” I say, my whole body subsiding in relief. “Thank you so much. I’ll be there. I promise.”

“You’d better be,” he says. “No more excuses.” Then a faint smile passes over his features. “By the way,” he adds, gesturing to the set. “I thought you did very well up there, with all your advice.”

“Oh,” I say in surprise. “Well … thanks. That’s really …” I clear my throat. “How did you get into the studio, anyway? I thought they had quite tight security.”

“They do,” replies Derek Smeath. “But my daughter works in television.” He smiles fondly. “She used to work on this very show.”

“Really?” I say incredulously.

God, how amazing. Derek Smeath has a daughter. He’s probably got a whole family, come to that. A wife, and everything. Who would have thought it?

“I’d better go,” he says, and drains his polystyrene cup. “This was a bit of an unscheduled detour.” He gives me a severe look. “And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll be there,” I say quickly, as he walks off toward the exit. “And … and thanks. Thanks a lot.”

As he disappears, I sink down onto a nearby chair. I can’t quite believe I’ve just had a pleasant, civilized conversation with Derek Smeath. With Derek Smeath! And actually, he seems quite a sweetheart. He’s been so nice and kind to me, and his daughter works in television … I mean, who knows, maybe I’ll get to know her, too. Maybe I’ll become friends with the whole family. Wouldn’t that be great? I’ll start going to dinner at their house, and his wife will give me a warm hug when I arrive, and I’ll help her with the salad and stuff …

“Rebecca!” comes a voice from behind me, and I turn round to see Zelda approaching, still clutching her clipboard.

“Hi,” I say happily. “How’s it going?”

“Great,” she says, and pulls up a chair. “Now, I want to have a little talk.”

“Oh,” I say, suddenly nervous. “OK. What about?”

“We thought you did tremendously well today,” says Zelda, crossing one jeaned leg over the other.
“Tremendously
well. I’ve spoken to Emma and Rory and our senior producer”—she pauses for effect—“and they’d all like to see you back on the show.”

I stare at her in disbelief. “You mean—”

“Not every week,” says Zelda. “But fairly regularly. We thought maybe three times a month. Do you think your work would allow you to do that?”

“I … I don’t know,” I say dazedly. “I expect it would.”

“Excellent!” says Zelda. “We could probably plug your magazine as well, keep them happy.” She scribbles something on a piece of paper and looks up. “Now, you don’t have an agent, do you? So I’ll have to talk money directly with you.” She pauses, and looks down at her clipboard. “What we’re offering, per slot, is—”

I
PUT MY KEY IN THE LOCK
and slowly open the door of the flat. It seems like about a million years since I was here last, and I feel like a completely different person. I’ve grown up. Or changed. Or something.

“Hi,” I say cautiously into the silence, and drop my bag onto the floor. “Is anyone—”

“Bex!” gasps Suze, appearing at the door of the sitting room. She’s wearing tight black leggings and holding a half-made denim photograph frame in one hand. “Oh my God! Where’ve you
been?
What have you been doing? I saw you on
Morning Coffee
and I couldn’t believe my eyes! I tried to phone in and speak to you, but they said I had to have a financial problem. So I said, OK, how should I invest half a million? but they said that wasn’t really …” She breaks off. “Bex, what happened?”

I don’t reply straight away. My attention has been grabbed by the pile of letters addressed to me on the table. White, official-looking envelopes, brown window envelopes, envelopes marked menacingly “Final Reminder.” The scariest pile of letters you’ve ever seen.

Except somehow … they don’t seem quite so scary anymore.

“I was at my parents’ house,” I say, looking up. “And then I was on television.”

“But I phoned your parents! They said they didn’t know where you were!”

“I know,” I say, flushing slightly. “They were … protecting me from a stalker.” I look up, to see Suze staring at me in utter incomprehension. Which I suppose is fair enough. “Anyway,” I add defensively, “I left you a message on the machine, saying not to worry, I was fine.”

“I know,” wails Suze, “but that’s what they always do in films. And it means the baddies have got you and you’ve got a gun jammed against your head. Honestly, I thought you were dead! I thought you were, like, cut up into a million pieces somewhere.”

I look at her face again. She isn’t kidding, she really was worried. I feel awful. I should never have vanished like that. It was completely thoughtless and irresponsible and selfish.

“Oh, Suze.” On impulse, I hurry forward and hug her tightly. “I’m really sorry. I never meant to worry you.”

“It’s OK,” says Suze, hugging me back. “I was worried for a bit—but then I knew you must be all right when I saw you on the telly. You were fantastic, by the way.”

“Really?” I say, a tiny smile flickering round the corners of my mouth. “Did you really think so?”

“Oh yes!” says Suze. “Much better than whatshisface. Luke Brandon. God, he’s arrogant.”

“Yes,” I say after a tiny pause. “Yes, I suppose he is. But he was actually quite nice to me afterward.”

“Really?” says Suze indifferently. “Well, you were brilliant, anyway. Do you want some coffee?”

“Love some,” I say, and she disappears into the kitchen.

I pick up my letters and bills and begin slowly to leaf through them. Once upon a time, this lot would have sent me into a blind panic. In fact, they would have gone straight into the bin, unread. But you know what? Today I don’t feel a flicker of fear. Honestly,
how could I have been so silly about my financial affairs? How could I have been so cowardly? This time I’m just going to face up to them properly. I’m going to sit down with my checkbook and my latest bank statements, and sort methodically through the whole mess.

Staring at the clutch of envelopes in my hand, I feel suddenly very grown-up and responsible. Farsighted and sensible. I’m going to sort my life out and keep my finances in order from now on. I’ve completely and utterly changed my attitude toward money.

Plus …

OK, I wasn’t actually going to tell you this. But
Morning Coffee
is paying me absolute loads.
Loads
. You won’t believe it, but for every single phone-in I do, I’m going to get—

Oh, I’m all embarrassed now. Let’s just say it’s … it’s quite a lot!

I just can’t stop smiling about it. I’ve been floating along ever since they told me. So the point is, I’ll easily be able to pay all these bills off now. My VISA bill, and my Octagon bill, and the money I owe Suze—and everything! Finally,
finally
my life is going to be sorted.

“So, why did you just disappear like that?” asks Suze, coming back out of the kitchen and making me jump. “What was wrong?”

“I don’t really know,” I say with a sigh, putting the letters back down on the hall table. “I just had to get away and think. I was all confused.”